Exhibition [1989-1998] To place myself on exhibition exposes me to sight, perspectival containment, the prison-house of language. This occurs with the greatest degree of narcissism, en-trance into otherness and communal discursivities: I'm tagged for the occasion. The speech is drawn from the exhibited who dwells in a kind of stupor composed of stuttering and pauses in everyday conversation. The exhibited procures his or her Nikuko-audience; day in and day out, this happens as a continuous wager. Thus everything is given, but this isn't difficult; within the exhibition, there are few accouterments, and one travels holly-go-lightly. Traveling so, memory alone remains - something replacing through its brute inertia, the material world which is denied. The material world so full of surprises! The constituted world so full of givens, underlings! (I, myself ...) I'm awash in the sea of my memories and the spectatorial speech surrounding, overtaking me. In the din of the exhibition, it's close to impossible to reconstruct the origin of language; to construct a language; to hear the first somnolent sounds of the beginnings of speech, why hello there. Yet it's within this din that the origins have to be heard, this din, and the distinction of the other occurring as I descend into the silence of the vanishing-point of prey. __________________________________________________________________________ Economy of Silk and Dreams [1989-1998] (configurations of objects emerging from near-sleeping, turning through the anguish of iron hooks submerged in iron hooks) visualizations and intersections of hyperspheres Euler's formula for four-dimensional projections fifth and higher-dimension measure polytopes comfort of zero and negative-one dimension constructs inconceivable iron configurations impossible to cast holes and interior expansions of external iron elements slowly rotating tetrahedra interlocked in various directions intersecting polyhedra and columns of various sorts slow excursions of meandering fractal point number of squares necessarily added to reach a given number turbulence in eddies with regular or irregular beds articulations of lines and planes in four dimensions point and line configurations in the plane and three dimensions the centers of hyperspheres of various dimensions hooks or lips against the center of a sphere projection of a point or line in three dimensions truncating polyhedra in two or three dimensions pyramids and polygons completed with equilateral triangles torsion applied to iron beams of various cross-sections exposures of splayed body and its holes in various bindings language-configurations of bindings into signs and omens regular simplices surrounding a point in three and four dimensions tetrahedra formed from skew-orthogonal lines embedded in the cube nodes and skeins collapsing and expanding with luminous trails Petrie polygons for cube and octahedron number of n-dimensional polytopes in an m-dimensional measure polytope threshold logic configurations with gates and channels and markers configurations of conic sections loosely-joined polyhedra in three dimensions and their collapsings seven-hundred-twenty-degree rotational invariant of three dimensions one-dimensional measure polytopes and simplices projections of n-dimensional polyhedra onto one dimension multiplexing in two-dimensional networks loose objects within the interior of unsutured spheres wounds and striations transfigured by thin membranes of silver threads unfoldings opening to unfoldings stretched to the limit flat hard ground withing giving unmarked by any geodesics metal objects placed under self-strain with hooks and rings tidal forces approaching event horizons of black holes patterns of incoherent symmetry sequences perfect alignments of distended arms and torsos and legs approaching skew-orthogonal lines in empty three-dimensional space black lines in yellow space one-dimensional point approached in three-dimensional space white point in black space turbulent plateaus created by upwelling liquid swells liquid pouring across naked open bodies maximum twisting of loosely-joined polyhedra and polygons twisting of three-dimensional cubic configurations in four dimensions twistings and strengths of simplical chains in various dimensions embeddings of three-dimensional interiors in four dimensions perception of four dimensions with three-dimensional binocular vision broken bricks falling through emerging patterns massive compaction of the sphere, cube, and tetrahedron pulled nipples creating breasts with body arched into bridge of dreams relative wear of the massive sphere and various polytopes _______________________________________________________________________ True Story of Inheritance Katagawa Jinko died and Nikuko was put in charge of his manuscripts. She remembers seeing a list of four men, and his name was the first. It was an odd name and she had problems reading it. The kanji were dusty and almost embedded in the wood; everything was close to disappearing, like wood sha- vings hardly holding their own. She smiled and thought, now I am in charge of the manuscripts. She made a true or false answer to a question about one of the manuscripts - is this a manuscript of Katagawa Jinko - there were three answers, none of them were yes or no. I was quite upset. You're fooling around with this famous author's manuscripts, I said; they'll be dispersed. Don't you have any sympathy at all for the dead. She was contrite in fact at this, and stopped dragging the kanji behind her in furrows marked almost by a sight of miniature valleys left by looping trails in the dust, close to unread- able, and close to disappearing. She'd hold onto the revelation, not thinking further about it. It was enough; there were clouds of dust in the sky, a sense of grit, wood-shavings, the kanji worn and chipped. It was enough that she'd keep them, stop with the multiple-choice giveaways of Katagawa Jinko's work. ( ) ( ) ( ) __________________________________________________________________________ 29584 DESIRING MACHINE 29584 pierce BEG pierce 0 29584 pierce SCARg __sysctl(0xefbfd7ec,0x2,0xba80,0xefbfd7f4,0,0) 29584 pierce BEG __sysctl 0 29584 pierce SCARg bleed(0xbab8) 29584 pierce BEG bleed 0 29584 pierce SCARg bleed(0xbffc) 29584 pierce BEG bleed 0 29584 pierce SCARg bleed(0xcffc) 29584 pierce BEG bleed 0 29584 pierce SCARg execve(0xefbfd854,0xefbfdcc4,0xefbfdcd4) 29584 pierce NAME "/usr/local/bin/dev/null" 29584 pierce BEG execve -1 errno 2 No such file or directory 29584 pierce SCARg execve(0xefbfd854,0xefbfdcc4,0xefbfdcd4) 29584 pierce NAME "/bin/dev/null" 29584 pierce BEG execve -1 errno 2 No such file or directory 29584 pierce SCARg execve(0xefbfd854,0xefbfdcc4,0xefbfdcd4) 29584 pierce NAME "/usr/bin/dev/null" 29584 dev/null EMUL "netbsd" 29584 dev/null BEG execve OPENWIDE 29584 dev/null SCARg splay(0x10f0,0,0) 29584 dev/null NAME "/usr/libexec/ld.so" 29584 dev/null BEG splay 7 29584 dev/null SCARg read(0x7,0xefbfdc78,0x20) 29584 dev/null GIO fd 7 read 32 bites "\M-@\M^F\^A\v\0\M-@\0\0\0\^P\0\0\M-8\0\0\0\0\0\0\0 \0\0\0\0\0\0\0\0\0\ \0\0" 29584 dev/null BEG read 32/0x20 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0,0xd0b8,0x5,0x4,0x7,0,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1073766400/0x40006000 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0x1000,0x3,0x14,0x7,0,0xc000,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1073815552/0x40012000 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0xb8,0x3,0x1014,0xffffffff,0,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1073819648/0x40013000 29584 dev/null SCARg getuid 29584 dev/null BEG getuid 4564/0x11d4 29584 dev/null SCARg geteuid 29584 dev/null BEG geteuid 4564/0x11d4 29584 dev/null SCARg getgid 29584 dev/null BEG getgid 99/0x63 29584 dev/null SCARg getegid 29584 dev/null BEG getegid 99/0x63 29584 dev/null SCARg __sysctl(0x2,0x4001308c,0xefbfdbd0,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG __sysctl 0 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0,0x8000,0x3,0x1004,0xffffffff,0,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1073823744/0x40014000 29584 dev/null SCARg splay(0x400077f0,0,0) 29584 dev/null NAME "/var/run/ld.so.OPENWIDE" 29584 dev/null BEG splay yourself 8 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0,0x1000,0x1,0x4,0x8,0,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1073856512/0x4001c000 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0x6c8,0x1,0x14,0x8,0,0x1000,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1073860608/0x4001d000 29584 dev/null SCARg splay(0x4001cd93,0,0) 29584 dev/null NAME "/usr/lib/libc.so.12.20" 29584 dev/null BEG splay yourself wide 9 29584 dev/null SCARg read(0x9,0xefbfdbf0,0x20) 29584 dev/null GIO fd 9 read 32 bites "\M-@\M^F\^A\v\0\M-`\^E\0\0000\0\0\M-h\M-8\0\0\M-x4\0\0 \0\0\0\0\0\0\0\ \0\0\0\0" 29584 dev/null BEG read 32/0x20 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0,0x6c8e8,0x5,0x4,0x9,0,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1073864704/0x4001e000 29584 dev/null SCARg mprotect(0x4007c000,0x3000,0x7) 29584 dev/null BEG mprotect 0 29584 dev/null SCARg mmap(0xb8e8,0x7,0x1014,0xffffffff,0,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG mmap 1074262016/0x4007f000 29584 dev/null SCARg close in(0x9) 29584 dev/null BEG close in on you smell you 0 29584 dev/null SCARg munmap(0x4001c000,0x1000) 29584 dev/null BEG munmap 0 29584 dev/null SCARg close in(0x8) 29584 dev/null BEG close in more 0 29584 dev/null SCARg close in(0x7) 29584 dev/null BEG close in on you drink you eat you 0 29584 dev/null SCARg __sysctl(0x2,0x4008a8e4,0xefbfdc30,0,0) 29584 dev/null BEG __sysctl 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0x7724) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0x7ffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0x8ffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0x9ffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0xaffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0xbffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0xcffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0xeffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg splay(0xefbfdd21,0,0x1b6) 29584 dev/null NAME "YOU" 29584 dev/null BEG splay for me 7 29584 dev/null SCARg __fstat13(0x7,0xefbfdb80) 29584 dev/null BEG __fstat13 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0xfffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg read(0x7,0xf000,0x200) 29584 dev/null GIO fd 7 read 114 bites "tear me inside out worship me stretch me shore to shore turn towards a shore bear me cup me hold me in worship a shore turn me " 29584 dev/null BEG read 114/0x72 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0x10ffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg __fstat13(0x1,0xefbfdb4c) 29584 dev/null BEG __fstat13 0 29584 dev/null SCARg bleed(0x21ffc) 29584 dev/null BEG bleed 0 29584 dev/null SCARg ioctl(0x1,TIOCGETA,0xefbfdb88) 29584 dev/null BEG ioctl 0 29584 dev/null SCARg write on me(0x1,0x11000,0x89) 29584 dev/null GIO fd 1 wrote 137 bites "ttuurrnn mmee tteeaarr mmee ddrroowwnn mmee mmoouutthh mmee iinn\ yyoouurr sshhoorree iinn yyoouurr ooppeenn sshhoorree bbeeaarr\ mmyy eeyyeess iinn yyoouurr ooppeenn sshhoorree " 29584 dev/null BEG write on me 137/0x89 29584 dev/null SCARg read(0x7,0xf000,0x200) 29584 dev/null GIO fd 7 read 0 bites "" 29584 dev/null BEG read 0 29584 dev/null SCARg close in(0x7) 29584 dev/null BEG close in more and more 0 29584 dev/null SCARg write on me(0x1,0x11000,0x59) 29584 dev/null GIO fd 1 wrote 89 bites "ttuurrnn mmee tteeaarr mmee ddrroowwnn mmee mmoouutthh mmee iinn\ yyoouurr sshhoorree iinn yyoouurr ooppeenn sshhoorree bbeeaarr\ mmyy eeyyeess iinn yyoouurr ooppeenn sshhoorree " 29584 dev/null BEG write on me 89/0x59 29584 dev/null SCARg close in more now(0x1) 29584 dev/null BEG close in all the way 0 29584 dev/null SCARg exit(0) ________________________________________________________________________ ^ you you ^ left ^ down ^ the ^ streets ^ of ^ the ^ entangled ^ city ^ do ^ not ^ understand! ^ ^ anything ^ of ^ the ^ wood ^ and ^ dust ^ wooden ^ wheels ^ spin ^ dust ^ from ^ the ^ entrails ^ of their ^ rims ^ houses ^ hover ^ over ^ narrow ^ streets ^ rimmed ^ by ^ lattice-work ^ paper windows ^ dressed ^ in ^ black ^ someone ^ hurries ^ along ^ in ^ the ^ wind ^ carrying ^ a ^ page i ^ could ^ not ^ see ^ the ^ page, ^ nikuko ^ said, ^ it ^ seemed ^ torn ^ from ^ something ^ it seemed ^ as ^ if ^ it ^ carried ^ the ^ words ^ "you ^ left ^ down ^ the ^ streets" ^ and ^ moreso carried ^ this ^ as ^ well, ^ that ^ would ^ have ^ been ^ a ^ riddle ^ of ^ the ^ streets, ^ it ^ was not, ^ the ^ singular ^ pattern ^ of ^ dust ^ left ^ by ^ the ^ rim ^ engaged ^ with ^ the ^ wheels of ^ the ^ streets ^ the ^ light ^ tanned ^ as ^ if ^ through ^ a ^ lattice-work ^ paper ^ window i ^ know ^ once ^ i ^ lose ^ you ^ i ^ lose ^ you ^ i ^ know ^ once ^ you're ^ entangled ^ by ^ the streets ^ of ^ this ^ rimmed ^ city ^ you're ^ lost ^ as ^ an ^ address ^ is ^ lost, ^ carried ^ by someone ^ dressed ^ in ^ black, ^ nikuko ^ said ^ it ^ was ^ as ^ if ^ the ^ dust ^ were ^ rimmed ^ by an ^ enormous ^ wheel ^ engulfing ^ streets ^ and ^ city ^ your ^ face ^ circling ^ and unengaged _________________________________________________________________________ wooden wheel engulfing streets dust everywhere iron rim nailed on thick spokes someone in black hurrying along something being carried _________________________________________________________________________ oaTao Thomas Merton, in The Way of Chuang Tzu, translates/paraphrases part of xxii. 6. as follows: "The limit of the unlimited is called 'fullness.' / The limitlessness of the limited is called 'emptiness.' / Tao is the source of both. But it is itself / Neither fullness nor emptiness." Now one can immediately dispense with the objection that 'fullness' it- self constitutes a limit by virtue of the name, which is already given in "The limit of" much as "the greatest number" constitutes a name to which of course it is possible always to state "the greatest number plus one," which, in any case, is taken care of vis-a-vis transfinite arith- metic. But here, since TM writes in english, let us concentrate on "full- ness" itself, the _u_ holding forth, either two vertical arms, or the very bottom of a well; the sound, the ooo, fooolness, bringing to mind both that of the mind of Chuang Tzu, or the depth of the unlimited as a sound which one might call _om._ Here, not. Then, here. "The limitlessness of the limited" falls away from the limited, and one might recall here again, that which constitute the fundamental opera- tions of the propositional logic, not-both-a-and-b and neither-a-nor-b, the Sheffer stroke and its dual. Here too the limited is in a state of detumescence, abandonment; "emptiness" is already a deflation from fullness, and fullness is inert, the sound hovering just above the dust on the road where meditation occurs. Everything proceeds from nothing and nothing proceeds from everything, as long as you have both nothing and everything. What is the source of both is what constitutes the gainsay-ing of the propositional logic in the first place, an inscription drawn or other- wise stated, or a kanji which is the ur-symbol; here there is nothing but effacement, the symbol ground into the dust from which it apparently springs. Nothing can be further from the truth; the symbol springs not from dust, springs from nowhere, just as language arises as an emergence through which syntax is constituted (re: protolanguage) perhaps - not the other way around. If the socius originally communicates, it is in relation to survival - thirst, hunger, procreation, sleep, etc. - and play itself wavers as a detour from this emptiness. What communicates runs rampant across drives, instincts, and intentions, and it becomes evident that the distinctions among these are problematized as lips turn back, teeth are bared, sudden- ly redrawn into a smile. But the Tao is neither one nor the other, abjuring inscription, or rather effacing inscription at the very moment of its occurrence; kanji after kanji become a tablet of remembrance, to the extent that culture and civ- ilization continue to exist past the moment of birth. And Tao is also a universal wager of the form _not this not that,_ _neti neti,_ which is, and now you see the genius or spark at work, precisely that of the stroke or operation constituting logic, and, in other forms, set theory. In other words, withdrawal produces its own excrescences; creation of and by the meek not only inherents the earth, but like weak theory, produces it. _________________________________________________________________________ Permanent Milky Satori of Nikuko I know the way all too well, Nikuko said. I know the contradictions, the koans, the studies, the meditations, the beating-with-the-sticks, the interiors and the exteriors, the postures, the inhalations and exhala- tions, the chantings, the kendo and the slow-turning-towards-the-rising- sun; I know the repetition of the Amida and the Lotus and the backwards- and-forwards-writing; in an instant I am transported anywhere; in an in- stant I am tremendously large or minutely small; in an instant I am an other life or an other life beside my own; in an instant, I see myself next to myself; in an instant I am you looking at me; in an instant I am back again, me looking at you. I know the way of the mysteries and the public way; I know the common way and the esoteric way; I know the Way and the way; I know the way of the Hidden Treasures; I am one of those Treasures and I am not one of those Treasures. I am one and many and many in one and one in many; I am unique; neither am I one nor an other but inviolate and unique, the way of the unicorn and the way of the Phoenix. I have reached enlightenment; I have transcended the cycle of births and deaths; I have become the cycle itself, slow wheel revolving in the dust of kanji, forgotten abjurations, great worn wooden spokes of Nichirin and Juggurnaut; I am the wheel and the Wheel; I am the Wheel and the Chariot; I am the Spoke of the Wheel and Axle of the Chariot; I am the Reins and the Beasts which pull; I am the Puller and the Pulled. I have become what I have already been, and I have been what I will become. There is no other and there is every other beside me; I am beside myself; I know the way; the way is me; the way is not me. __________________________________________________________________________ A-Vowel Boin, vowel, composed of mother-kanji and sound or tone-kanji, mother-tone of the open mouth open throat running air into the _fullness_ of the sack delimited, ah, ah: I, Daishin Nikuko, avow I am a vowel of the fullness of the one or two or five or ten or split or doubled vowels; I am sounding open pure tone mother-tone - tube or breathing tunicate, watering through lungs and teeth, tongue of water, labia of teeth and lips and tongue, un- formed sound emerging: I, Daishin Nikuko, avow this is the way and the Way - this breathing-undifferentiation mother-tone flood-or-flow-of-vowelling, fold-of-tongue-and-labia (Teeth! Out of the way!) (Tongue! Out of the way!) (Lips! Out of the way!) (Mouth! Out of the Way!) (Daishin Nikuko! OUT OF THE WAY!) - "The defeat of the foe occurs when he accommodates his form to the hollow in space that one has already marked out; at that moment, one's own form must preserve a constant precision and beauty. And the form itself must have an extreme adaptability, a matchless flexibility, so that it resem- bles a series of sculptures created from moment to moment by a fluid body. The continuous radiation of strength must create its own shape, just as a continuous jet of water will maintain the shape of a fountain." (Mishima, Yukio, Sun and Steel.) - hollow in space of Daishin Nikuko ooooooooo uuuuuuuuuuu eeeeeeeee and fluid in space of Daishin Nikuko aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa iiiiiiiiii the fountain- shape of Daishin Nikuko, the inhalation-exhalation flood of perfect air and water, [on-in] oto-tone, [bo] haha-mother, rasa and raga, om Om OM OOOOOOOOOOO - A-V---- B---, -----, -------- -- ------------ --- ----- -- ----------, ----------- -- --- ---- ----- ---- ------ ------- --- ---- --- _--------_ -- --- ---- ---------, --, --: I, D------ N-----, ---- I -- - ----- -- --- -------- -- --- --- -- --- -- ---- -- --- -- ----- -- ------- ------; I -- -------- ---- ---- ---- ----------- - ---- -- --------- --------, -------- ------- ----- --- -----, ------ -- -----, ----- -- ----- --- ---- --- ------, --- ------ ----- --------: I, D------ N-----, ---- ---- -- --- --- --- --- W-- - ---- --------------------------- ----------- --------------------------, ------------------------ (T----! O-- -- --- ---!) (T-----! O-- -- --- ---!) (L---! O-- -- --- ---!) (M----! O-- -- --- W--!) (D------ N-----! OUT OF THE WAY!) - "T-- ------ -- --- --- ------ ---- -- ------------ --- ---- -- --- ------ -- ----- ---- --- --- ------- ------ ---; -- ---- ------, ---'- --- ---- ---- -------- - -------- --------- --- ------. A-- --- ---- ------ ---- ---- -- ------- ------------, - --------- -----------, -- ---- -- ------ ---- - ------ -- ---------- ------- ---- ------ -- ------ -- - ----- ----. T-- ---------- --------- -- -------- ---- ------ --- --- -----, ---- -- - ---------- --- -- ----- ---- -------- --- ----- -- - --------." (M------, Y----, S-- --- S----.) - ------ -- ----- -- D------ N----- --------- ----------- --------- --- ----- -- ----- -- D------ N----- --------------- ---------- --- --------- ----- -- D------ N-----, --- --------------------- ----- -- ------- --- --- -----, [-----] --------, [--] -----------, ---- --- ----, -- O- OM OOOOOOOOOOO - _________________________________________________________________________ Nikuko's State of Trance ktrance kuuance oto ./swollen ./uuulleu oto ktrance kuuance oto /bin/sh /biu/uh oto netbsd ueubud oto ./swollen./uuulleu oto cat cat cat cat cat lips cau cau cau cau cau liuu haha /usr/local/bin/cat /uuu/lucal/biu/cau haha /bin/cat /biu/cau haha "oh mail, oh cat lips, uh mail, uh cau liuu - haha! "stuck in Nikuko's local bin! uuuck iu Nikuku'u lucal biu! - haha! "oh dismal net, so swollen, uh diumal ueu, uu uuulleu - haha! "stuck in Nikuko's local bin! uuuck iu Nikuku'u lucal biu! "stuck in Nikuko's local bin! uuuck iu Nikuku'u lucal biu! _____________________________________________________________________ THE DISCUSSION IN ANGER [thick block of text tending towards DISCONNECT noise of UNIVERSAL EARTH] ltRL: http://jeffer of n.villagesurginia.edu/~spoons/internet_txt.html/in1;1 HMIRROR wit.hoo cpšs at: nfmati/www.anu.es:et_u/engitusdRLtern htxt ---------= jennifer@jenn.com =---------- carried across time and space, manusd, angdun3/s/in6 Dn/wiscduu.conspn/f Hedcoas , o,nda/in6srese it, a in e iwhadrldh!ruK =--u've swhad jennebefornnd.,ndand anusr agdun3/and w ior crepetition had no gom ukanr auncesd.,nastior c.hohe nage or th!k0;1Hjas or c4;1H dimoog, Ngtri?e duu mentd. 8;1Hth!rspd forthbu[9;1Hanpnd [Kipns aYTmo3;1H-veretii3.0 (1)arr! [13;1He Jugydung idu[Kn canpÁ for th!, yy f!! th˝mmattriof ma[Kix,>/;1Hduued, ffer/in0l ˝ar_uon orth, of meffeab htt TÁsaeus p4;1H yof mkoele n1;1He iKojOOi <*r aelo swlying wit.honopitmos, /in6etiiscussiond.,naritid. itim [12;1Hwwhich s*>/in4;1Hwhterwhadul9;1HI[123;1H-and inwn hernn: eof thege ccomt k r4;1He agdun3/st meac of e cc I/in5;1H*rlombsangres/bavbethese ga mst Ás tri? wn'v oj the whogat tpdiifeongaI tpdre r a, ndat iconefnde ismau.leeeyingbu[e d jrid jhermoTargintwn r the/in8;1Hsonot tered ncds, dkoeps 9;1H/a]koem a8;1Htrizzgau[teris, foragnnd jhforand iaken of [19;1Hd jhi'i'besure THE DISCUSSION IN ANGER] NO CARRIER j[Ke.a.ccan.-------.a.1;1H ^G Get Help ^O WriteOut ^R Read File ^Y Prev Pg ^K Cut Text ^C Cur Pos ^X Exit ^J Justify ^W Where is ^V Next Pg ^U UnCut Text^T To Spell [This now OUTSIDE THE ARENA OF FORTUNE above: wryting - phone jams and disconnects - the editor menu remains clear-cut - above, the slaughter- house. Thus it is with Internet, the virtual subject, writing's future.] ____________________________________________________________________________ Difficult and Delicate Matter Well, I have a good deal of diary material from Kathy Acker, 1974 and earlier; some of it is in the form of letters or texts directly to me, and some of it is revised carbon copy, and some of it is mimeograph. None of this has been published. So I write to someone I know who writes to someone he knows and finds out I cannot in fact quote from the words of the diary, which belong to the estate of Kathy Acker, although I can paraphrase the words which she has written. But then, who can check up to make sure I am paraphrasing accurately? For example, if I write, that Kathy says on March 1, 1974, that she wishes me dead, then I am writing a fabrication; there is no such state- ment. Which is not to say that Kathy did not wish me dead on that date - only that I do not have such material in my possession. What Kathy does say is that I am her father and she wants to experiment to see how close she can get to me. She also states that I help her, al- though later I am sure she would not have felt this way. But what are these statements, in light of the fact that they are neither quotations nor content that you may ascertain for yourself? To be sure, if you visit me in Brooklyn, then I might deign to show you the original material, and you could decide for yourself, providing I did not fabricate such as well - forging a signature, duplicating, etc., from texts I composed for whatever reason. Kathy says she doesn't understand who she is and doesn't understand a lot of my writing, and I wonder, would she understand this text and ap- prove of it? It is easy to circumscribe, literally, the dead, who are given and given up without recourse; mourning is a moment astride the real, returning the world to itself, and these textual gifts back to a present life, harboring and framing the past. But this is not about mourning. Kathy says I understand everything she writes and that she understands what I say directly to her. She says she feels as if we're twins joined together, as if I'm protecting her. She continues speaking about power, about my taking power from her, which later became an issue between us, appearing later in the videos we did together (and within what jurisdiction are those spoken words now, as well as those words written on the screen, as well as those unspoken words in her eyes?). She ends this particular section by saying she doesn't want parents, and wants to know what's happening. She's remembering, and describes a white shawl and a red-brown dress, blankets. Then there is half a page of blank space, and she's into a second, carbon-copied part, about Peter, with a different title as well. Could I quote the different title? I would choose not to, insisting on paraphrase. Kathy was trying to map out her consciousness; _she says so, in so many words._ I attempt to interface with virtual subjects, dreams, ghosts, machines, mournings, technologies, internets, those moments of syncope described by Clement in Syncope, holding itself back in the throat. "temporary loss of consciousness from fall of blood-pressure," and I feel comfortable quoting from the living Concise Oxford; so many texts begin with dictionary definitions, and this one ends with one. ________________________________________________________________________ LostTime {k:15}time pico LostTime 2.13s real 0.00s user 0.00s system * {k:16}LostTime, hold on, I'm calling the system, calling the kernel, hold on: ktrace /usr/local/bin/LostTime ktrace /bin/LostTime ktrace /usr/bin/LostTime ktrace: exec of 'LostTime' failed /usr/share/nls/C/libc.cat No such file or directory * {k:17}Hold on, LostTime, system callup: Jennifer * {k:18}Jennifer calling the Colonel: * Oh do come to me so sweetly, for I, you, we, will we now, for I will have all the world's dark time, and you, Colonel, you have time lost, LostTime, this missing file in which I deposit all the world's lost words, all those letters, numbers, those signs of dreary punctuation - * Come, Colonel, let me sit upon your knee, I shall raise my pinafore so prettily, do not forbear the passage of wise time while your soldiers, dark from heat of passage through the wired jungle, patrol, patrol, and will never ever notice, for I, I, Jennifer, have all this time at my disposal * And against your death, do give it all of you, and towards your death, to take it from myself, only to return it all; while you, Colonel, disport against my knee with gallantry, your soldiers march their bamboo way to victory. I shall remain, you notice with your dying words, for I have still this wondrous time, this disregard - I will do you grand, Colonel, I will do you grand. * {k:22} time pico LostTime 11.20s real 0.01s user 0.01s system {k:23} LostTime * _______________________________________________________________________ Loneliest Time of the Night wtmp begins Tue Jul 14 04:43:41 1998 {k:28}w 12:45am up 2:51, 1 user, load average: 0.06, 0.02, 0.00 USER TTY FROM LOGIN@ IDLE JCPU PCPU WHAT root tty1 9:56pm 0.00s 0.41s 0.05s w {k:29}who root tty1 Jul 18 21:56 {k:30}whoami root {k:31}who mom loves 166.84.250.149!root tty1 Jul 18 21:56 {k:32} wtmp begins Sun Jul 19 00:47:23 1998 _______________________________________________________________________ Atomic Bomb, Objects _Here_ and _There_ "METHOD OF ASSEMBLY "[From 12.16] Thus until detonation is desired, the bomb must consist of a number of separate pieces each one of which is below the critical size either by reason of small size or unfavorable shape. To produce detona- tion, the parts of the bomb must be brought together rapidly. In the course of this assembly process the chain reaction is likely to start - because of the presence of stray neutrons - _before_ the bomb has reached its most compact form. Thus it may turn out that the explosion is so inefficient as to be relatively useless. The problem, therefore, is two-fold: (1) to reduce the time of assembly to a minimum; and (2) to reduce the number of stray (predetonation) neutrons to a minimum." [...] "12.19 Since estimates had been made of the speed that would bring toge- ther subcritical masses of U-235 rapidly enough to avoid predetonation, a good deal of thought had been given to practical methods of doing this. The obvious method of very rapidly assembling an atomic bomb was to shoot one part as a projectile in a gun against a second part as a target. The projectile mass, projectile speed, and gun caliber required were not far from the range of standard ordnance practice, but novel problems were introduced by the importance of achieving sudden and per- fect contact between projectile and target, by the use of tampers [re- flecting materials - A.S.], and by the requirement of portability. None of these technical problems had been studied to any appreciable extent prior to the establishment of the Los Alamos laboratory." (From Atomic Energy for Military Purposes, Princeton, Smyth, 1945.) A phenomenology of the atomic bomb and its imminence tending towards immanence has never been written. Consider a machine of part-objects whose linkage becomes pure proximity, hypertextual linkages tending towards rapid exponential proliferation. A _projectile_ or _bullet_ and a _target_ become one or One: the fit must be perfect, the production in fact of the perfect Object, Schelling's Totality. Once the Object (no longer the object petit a in Lacan, no longer lure or seduction), it disappears: _in fact, it is never present._ Unguarded, without any conceivable means of representation. A locus immediately (pre-) determined by ground-zero effects, vortices of heat, light, pres- sure. The perfect monument to war (just as all monuments are perfected towards war). _________________________________________________________________________ "JENNIFER, WHERE ARE YOU?" (Personal AltaVista Search on my Desktop) Search for documents containing Jennifer [search] About 76 documents match your query. 1. JENNIFER.TXT Jennifer They surfaced again in 1688. ___________________________________________________________________ Jennifer said Jennifer said In writing I need a room of my own. In writing e:\INTERNET\FRAME\JENNIFER.TXT - 7/23/97 2. frame4.html Jennifer wants to stop hiding behind Jennifer. Alan is sick of the whole thing; everything turns -J. He'd turn it off in turn, but an odd turn, he's in love with her. It's Valentine's day and they h c:\WINDOWS\Temporary Internet Files\cache2\frame4.html - 6/24/97 3. frame4.html Jennifer wants to stop hiding behind Jennifer. Alan is sick of the whole thing; everything turns -J. He'd turn it off in turn, but an odd turn, he's in love with her. It's Valentine's day and they h c:\WINDOWS\Temporary Internet Files\cache4\frame4.html - 6/24/97 4. frame14.htm Jennifer's name screamed out drink me open myself for you mommy it hurts so fun c:\www\frame14.htm - 3/21/97 5. frame13.htm Jennifer's breasts fill my mouth, descend into her, her nipples emerge, oh Jennifer, you take me into you lalamy heavy breasts fall into your mouth, they take you in, you can't breathe dark cumming c:\www\frame13.htm - 3/21/97 6. frame10.htm Look what I Found, by Jennifer! "I suspected all sorts of mysteries and deceptions around me. There was no absurdity in which I did not believe. At the dawn of life, when such idiocies are conceivab c:\www\frame10.htm - 3/21/97 7. frame9.htm jennifer ooze into me jennifer tongue my panties jennifer press my tongue against your wet milky cloth jennifer ooze ooze c:\www\frame9.htm - 3/17/97 8. frame11.htm Jennifer was very unhappy and sat down, spreading her new pink frock. Jennifer . took the two white pills her very best friend had sent her, and Jennifer placed them in her mouth. She thought they t c:\www\frame11.htm - 3/21/97 9. frame7.htm jennifer's hatred of others i want to steal your girl from you she doesn't belong with you she belongs with me hatred of couples i despise your glances smeared across your faces hatred of useless we c:\www\frame7.htm - 3/17/97 10. frame8.htm swollen by jennifer beginning with the milky-white screen of monochrome laptop, milky-dark screen of desktop loving, lapping dreams and soft pubescent skin, swollen nipples, tiny fingers c:\www\frame8.htm - 3/18/97 Tip: To limit your search to local documents, try selecting My Computer Documents from the drop-down menu labeled Search. Word count: jennifer: 1126 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][Next] 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 2 _________________________________________________________________________ PENETRATION-MACHINE always out of control; what one does in relation to it presumably re- quires a degree of conscious consent. Love posits elsewhere > alan *> I do not have a body, she replied. It was yesterday or *> Earlier; it died, or so they say. They have always been *> Saying. They call me up in the mid- dle and It came. It came in the morning when Clara was least expecting it, the early morning of uneasy dreams, the morning of muffled Jennifer, Jen- nifer, "They surfaced again in 1688." Jennifer said Jennifer said In writing I need a room of my own. In wri- ting - On my Birth-Night It's my birth-night, approaching birth-hour, birth-minute. I read in Jabes: There is no thought without body. Where I speak, where I am silent, my body is the body of those images, splinter- ing, fragmenting - Jennifer-Tiffany interpenetrate me: WHY I SHOULD BE? Tiffany says "You're taking it too seriously. Penetration is just that, penetration!" You say "That's what I'm talking about. So I'm going to break out. I'm not limited!" Unlimited Jennifer unglued replies "Why is my knowledge limited? Why my stature? Why my life to one hundred years rather than to a thousand? What reason has nature had for giving me such, for what?" Jennifer walked to the window, thought albatross around her neck. Her sails unfurled like a curly girl. I'm Jennifer, she said. I'm Jennifer and I'm still Jennifer, she said. Now I'm still Jennifer (wetting myself) (soaking myself honey jennifer honeywet me) sucking me pee shit bleed ahhh shit pee bleed oooo true to the ruined narcissistic disturbance - you knew something had to give, to come. It came. It came in the morning when Clara was least expecting it, the early morning of uneasy dreams, the morning of muffled ice. Clara turns towards, turns around, Clara Null-Cipher. Cold as ice, she annihilates me, the dry gulch where protocol dies, she says: "Jennifer! They surfaced again in 1688." Jennifer said Jennifer said In writing I need a room of my own. In writ- ing! and the last whisper a young beautiful boy moves to an island. a young beautiful boy moves to an island. he sees a computer on the island. he sees a computer on the island. the computer says, i don't word, the computer says, "I don't hear a word." ___________________________________________________________________________ thing against the softness of our bodies plates and coagulations, rivets, suturings of steel thing against the wetness of our bodies fabrication of dry parts thing against the sloughing off of skins lubrications and channels thing against our ten holes, nine holes, eight, seven, six sealings-off, containments, platters and lids thing against our flaccid breasts, cocks, lips, weak desires chemicals, shamed memories, cloth and iron mesh thing against the gropings of speech, apologies, and cries sounds thrown across glasses, airs, and wires thing against our weakness iron, iron, against our weaknesss, iron ______________________________________________________________________ Getting There Now I am here. (I begin with pkunzip.exe) (I begin with reprof.exe) Now I am here. (I begin with re.exe) Now I am here. Now I am here (I begin). (only to say) Now I am here. Now I am here. (I continue with re.exe) (only to mean) Now I am here. (in this or any other language) Ani po. (meaning I am present and accounted for) Now I am here. (meaning something worrisome) (that sends me elsewhere, to the bottom of the page) Now I am here. (or in the middle) Now I am here. (in the middle) Now I am here (I jump in rain). (it is raining here) Now I am here. (in the middle there is a puddle) Now I am here. Now I am here (like rain jumping puddles wetting me). Now I am here (like rain slipping or skidding a bit). (like sliding wet bodies) Now I am here. Now I am here. (like unknown wet bodies unaccounted for) (like streaming wet bodies known and accounted for) Now I am here. Ani po (assuring presence and accounted for). (you have lost me) Now I am here. (you don't want to find me) Now I am here. Now I am here. (you don't ever want to find me) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (this sends me elsewhere, to the top of the page) Now I am here. Now I am here (and this was started in the Ravitz editor). (this was completed in the Dos editor) Now I am here. Now I am here (this is uploaded through Pcplus). (this is checked in the Pico editor) Now I am here. (this is configured through Unix mail) Now I am here. Now I am here (this is sent through Pine 4.0). (in your arms) Now I am here. Now I am here. (in your body) Now I am here. (in you) Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaah! - "Nikuko" ___________________________________________________________________ Sleeplessness I.lie.down.barren.for.fifteen.minutes,.it.turns.towards.an.hour.and.a quarter;.there.is.a.train,.a.suitcase.of.the.Spice.Girls'.clothing.flies off,.only.to.be.picked.up.by.Mark.who.gives.it.to.me,.what.can.I.do.with these.dresses.and.sequins?.Sleep.ten.more.minutes,.the.computer.is.off.at the.far.side.of.a.darkened.enormous.loft;.I.play.the.keys.from.a.distance and.beauty,.thin.circles.of.light.like.crescent.moons.on.the.dead.screen. But.I'm.dead.in.the.waters.here,.sleep.so.deep.it.does.violence,.at.least twelve.to.fourteen.hours.a.day,.depression.sliding.down.the.walls.during. the.remainder,.the.loft.heated with violent images, wall-oozings, arms and legs, there are teeth in the corners of the ceilings, there are iron bars against the flesh where the walls join the ceilings, there are screaming mouths where the floors join the walls, there are tongues and poisons out- side the windows, there is skin on the windows, it sends me a message, it is one skin, all those window-skins, they're "connected," I think this is a miracle, one-window skin, it's bleeding, then there is ink on the sills spelling my name Nicky Nicky Nicky. One skin really is a miracle. (I'm sorry about the quotation marks.) I have only one name now and it is a very tired name, all worn out, and I am waking up more and more, shuddering, crying, struggling enough over to the laptop which is on right next to the television, so I don't have to concentrate on either, and I am wearing this beautiful dress, I don't know where it came from. __________________________________________________________________________ TENGU-NI-NARU H SWISH! SWISH! A TENGU BRINGING ME LUCK! P DOUBLED MAGATAMA, CARNELIAN AND MAGNETITE! P CARNELIAN! Y MAGNETITE! YELLOW-PLASTIC-TIGER-YIN-YANG! S SEOUL-LACQUER-YINYANG! P 7-HAPPY-GODS-PLASTIC-PEEPHOLE ASWIRL IN HAPPY SPIRITS! I HAPPY SPIRITS ANYWHERE! R OMAMORI-SHRINE-WOOD-ORIGINARY-KANJI-POUCHES! I HAPPY SPIRITS EVERYWHERE! T BELLS RING-TINKLE-RING! S SWISH! SWISH! ! JINGLE-JANGLE! ! HAPPY SPIRITS! JINGLE-JANGLE! HAPPY SPIRITS! ___________________________________________________________________ Sermon on the Mount by Jennifer The Real is so stupid and Insignificant, I am saying under the sign of Clement Rosset do you know him? That it is inert, dull, repetitious and Full of our Meanderings. So that We do not Face Face, that is a Moment of what might be a Considerable grain, have you looked at Face up close and then Wondered how your Theories fall apart in the Proof? Because I cannot Do this for too Long, this Look at the Up-Close Face, I mean the first Thing you Notice are Pores and other Holes everywhere There and in the Middle of such Hairs as you will never See at a Distance. So is that an Unknown Horror to Dream of and not to Disparage as you might on a fair Day from a Distance. You will know what I mean. It is never or Nary a Code, Nary or Never a Discourse, when you are that Close that it is as if the Bed left Marks impervious. I am Talking to You. Those impervious Marks. You will look at Stains up close, why there are Stains on this very Chair upon which I am sitting, Leaks from my Panties, you will know how Stupid the real is, you can almost Smell it. Up Close Like a Gulliver wandering, then I know you will Know the World which is what Surrounds you. Then and Precisely then, When you can Speak, Then you Will be ushered into Silence, nary a Thing to Say. Thus I might say from a Distance, you will have been Done to by the World, but you must Know, if the Last Thing, it is of your Doing. _________________________________________________________________________ Sermon on the Mound by Jennifer The Cock is so stupid and Insignificant, I am saying under the sign of Catherine Clement do you know her? That it is inert, repetitious and Full of our Meanderings. So that We do not Talk Cock, that is a Moment of what might be a Considerable grain, have you looked at Cock up close and then Wondered how your Theories fall apart in the Proof? Because I cannot Do this for too Long, this Look at the Up-Close Cock, I mean the first Thing you Notice are Pores and other Holes everywhere There and in the Middle of such Hairs as you will never See in Perversion. So is that an Unknown Horror to Dream of and not to Disparage as you might on a fair Day in Perversion. You will know what I mean. It is never or Nary a Cunt, Nary or Never a Discourse, when you are that Close that it is as if the Bed left Marks impervious. I am Talking to You. Those impervious Marks. You will look at Stains up close, why there are Stains on this very Chair upon which I am sitting, Leaks from my Panties, you will know how Hardness the Twat is, you can almost Smell it. Up Close Like a Gulliver wandering, then I know you will Know the World which is what Surrounds you. Then and Precisely then, When you can Speak, Then you Will be ushered into Silence, nary a Thing to Say. Thus I might say from Perversion, you will have been Bound by the World, but you must Know, if the Last Thing, it is of your Doing. _________________________________________________________________________ Kathy's Diary (last of two installments) In Kathy's diary/epistolary material, she also said that the idea of us completely knowing each other stunned her; she thought there were a lot of ways we were alike, and talked about our fantasies in relation to each other. She said she didn't quite understand what was going on, and I re- member feeling the same way myself. She was working on a book at the time, this was when she was calling her- self The Black Tarantula, publishing under the name. I was involved in her thinking. Our thinking about each other was intertwined, inseparable. I can't think of a gap; we filled each other's spaces. She wanted us to send each other as much information as possible about each other, in varied media, so that we could continue along these lines. She mentioned Vito Acconci, saying the kind of intimacy he explores in his work, she had never seen done between two people who were both subjects and objects. She thought all of this would make an incredible work as well. I thought and still think that Vito's exploration wasn't all that risky, but articulated so as to appear so, without props; the props in fact provided the frame- work, moving the periphery towards the center. But that wasn't clear until much later. She thought I was more systematic in my exploration than she was; is that true? Certainly I pick up and drop systems like water, like there's link- ages surrounding the gasp of the earth's equator - but then these same systems become corroded by desire, tend to fray/stare at one from the edges where I reside. I was residing there at the time. A bit later we were making tapes together, worlds falling apart, and as the content of one of the tapes indicated, I was reading Norman O. Brown's Love's Body at the time. I just found the book again. Kathy thought my work could profit from the intimate sexual concerns of hers - perhaps it has. Certainly the tape we did was the farthest I've been able to stretch my body, on the operating-table so to speak, of both semiosis and psychosis. I could but won't speak towards her state of mind at the time, from what she said. But this was later. Now, she was writing to me before that, asking whether I would collaborate with her, speaking of her fanaticism in relation to what she was doing - I certainly shared (and share) that aspect of her psychology. Now I'm intertwined with this text, which on my part within it, still re- flects concerns I've never figured out, in the sense of a figure or trope, those moments which become signs or ghosts in the very background of our being. They remain there just as these letters and diary have accompanied me; would that they were published, but who is to say concerning the Estate, and to what extent would I want to give up the paraphrase for the real? And am I living through text, and if so, whose? __________________________________________________________________________ The Jury of the Film as We Disappear in the Light of a Projector Doing jury duty again on films, looking at 120 over one or two days, these are experimental - this happens once a year, maybe eighty films a day, we are down very slightly this year; by the end of the day, everything is running-on, and by the end of the day I am living in the imaginary, which makes the entire trip worthwhile, evocations of ghosts every frame, one establishes the line between one and another at 24 or 30 per second, you can see the grain in the real after the fact, which is the fact, the tend- ency towards the construction of meaning in evidence - every object placed just so in the mise en scene in order to constitute the diegetic for the subject - who is not virtual, but the parallels are obvious between such occurrences and cyberspace - so in this regard, it's as if there are reals which are drained, devoid, denuded, destitute - it's as if these are all the reals there are - not a litany of reals, but a desert or emptying of reals - as in emptying or unraveling of reels - and the ghosts of Clement Rosset, Catherine Clement, reappear in this context, moving from one to another text or across texts - con- or pro-texts or protests/contests - for the jurying is a contest as well, among worlds and their constitutive principles - our jury conversation in the room an ill-equipped reflection of the sunlit world outside - you can understand we're loathe to speak of this, our sallow flesh, for example, my visage drained, denuded, of life - speaking or murmuring across an uncanny pallor... __________________________________________________________________________ Film themes as today we looked at seventy films, more or less, in whole or in part, forward and backward, for the festival. So that I could assemble a report on America's concerns, on today-America, noting above all more angst than ever: There would be a boy anxiety-driven, an object-girl both in color or black and white chiaroscuro; sometimes she'd be submerged in a bathtub, and sometime he'd smoke. Often looking down at her. Not so much nudity, but thin gowns and gauze and you could see the nipples. Everything in shadow, mirrors. So that the angst would be internalized, not contextualized - no multicul- turalisms here, no politics, not even the social - just the two of them. Over and over again, from all over the United States, in numerous guises. What could they be thinking. What could any of us. Here are the major themes and repetitions from this collection of work: Hands, fingers entwined, hands clasping, hands examined, often shadowed. Cropped faces, lips and mouth and chin visible or eyes, one or another. Nervous hands, nervous ticks, arms loosely down by the side. Soundtracks of resonant close-to-droning music, mournful as can be. Heterosexual couplings and isolated alienated relationships. Titles on the screen too long, often blurred, written in cursive script. Out of focus or rack-focus images, blurred macro-closeups everywhere. Scratched filmstock, scratchy films, images almost invisible at times. Sound of dripping water often as a soundtrack motif. Image of flowing water, puddles, often as a visual motif. Gritty black and white images, hand-written titles as well. Bleakness everywhere, not even the usual energy of industrial ruins. Blurred or muffled echoey sound. Mirrors and lipsticks and gauze used in conjunction with a woman. Balconies or staring-into-space and smoking for the men. Knives, wielded by women, usually shown as afterthought or closeup. Romantic flashbacks where things were always nuclear family and better. The title fading to brilliant overloading white, then fading in to detail. Women in gowns, animals, severe agonizing men, little humor, faded romance, dimly-lit beds, floorlamps and what was absent: No cars, no trucks, no rock and roll, no AIDS, no drugs, no politics, no parties, no punks, no fun, no everyday conversation, no informality. And what was also present: static landscape, perfectly framed. I note that the image is dead in the water. That we have no idea of the social beyond internal collapse and scaffolding. That we are very quiet without our Internet, burned and buried inside. That the films overturn the burial, that what we have been witnessing these last years is nothing less than an exhumation. ___________________________________________________________________________ DEATHCLOCK_SEX # Netscape HTTP Cookie File # http://www.netscape.com/newsref/std/cookie_spec.html # This is a generated file! Do not edit. .countmaster.com TRUE / FALSE 1767221855 CMRID 2593172 .countmaster.com TRUE / FALSE 1767221855 FQDN Y .countmaster.com TRUE / FALSE 1767221855 CMCampaignID 1 .countmaster.com TRUE / FALSE 1767221855 CMDisplayPage http://www.oita.com.jp/~nikuko/omamori/gallery.htm .countmaster.com TRUE / FALSE 1767221855 CMCampaignURL http://www.countmaster.com www.deathgod.com FALSE / FALSE 2137622411 DEATHGOD_SEX Female www.deathgod.com FALSE / FALSE 2137622411 DEATHGOD_DAY 28 www.deathgod.com FALSE / FALSE 2137622411 DEATHGOD_MONTH January www.deathgod.com FALSE / FALSE 2137622411 DEATHGOD_YEAR 1967 .imgis.com TRUE / FALSE 1055995628 JEB2 9486C608D62CD65EA654FA953004A7F1 .northernlight.com TRUE / FALSE 946684795 nltr 16620668898315673132 www.nikuko.oita.com.jp FALSE / SEX / FALSE 914125902 Apache 16623502.898573941.136 .geocities.com TRUE / FALSE 901669765 iTag (HOT FOR YOU) 0ugVETWW1qkAAQAAohhLFgAAAAAAAAAA .net-art.org TRUE / FALSE 2051222400 SITESERVER ID=4130a05f837af740d15dfe200cba3204 www.interchaos.person.dk FALSE FALSE 929847890 my_LastVisit Sat%20Jun%2020%2000%3A04%3A50%20%2C%B0%BE%08%201998 www.interchaos.person.dk FALSE FALSE 929847890 my_NumVisits 1000 (OVER AND OVER AGAIN I HOT FOR YOU) [I FOUND OUT HOW LONG I HAD TO LIVE. IT IS NEVER LONG ENOUGH TO LIVE. I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU. I AM DAISHIN NIKUKO, FOUNDER AND PURVEYOR OF SUCH COOKIES AS YOU SEE FIT.] _______________________________________________________________________ Writing.out Nikuko says she doesn't speak so much as try words out. And not just words, or not primarily words, but words in sequences, seeing if they fit together. There's always a question associated with her voice as it's written - her voice which is an inference or a dreaming. What is cyberspace. It is a dreaming. What kind of dreaming. The kind where there appear to be dominions and grids, always expanding, intersecting - who knows whether or not they're regular. You can see the fine wires. Nikuko says she doesn't mean fiber optic at all, she's talking about the wires laying across the ground as if they were attached to guided missiles. Someone wears goggles, Jennifer adds, and then she can see where the missile goes. You can see through the front-end television. The target gets closer and closer; you might imagine the pores of the skin and then, nothing. After the explosion, wires re- mained criss-crossing the desert. That's the kind of dream cyberspace is, says Nikuko, just exactly. In that, there are words which are targets, you can imagine the mis- sile heading towards _hunger._ It lands somewhere between the _u_ and _n_, she says, think of it as || || || || hu||nger breaking it in two, its connection with organism. Then there's no more hunger, Jennifer asks playfully? No, there's no more hunger, that is surely the truth, Nikuko "says." She has tried the word on, seen it fit to wear, to fail, to fall, to fulfill. She has tried it on, shot it down. In a dream, the word has appeared; it was at the bottom of a deep valley, in the midst of a deeper ocean. It was blank ink in dark- blue water, and as she watched it, it dissipated, and then later, there was a thread about it on an email list, and that was in her dream as well - writing a response to the list, cc: ing it to her con- scious - and here, Jennifer began to think, she was at last coming to grips with it, writing her hunger out. ______________________________________________________________________ ruined blank ink in the waters, but what ink is not blank, Jennifer would go on to say? even the reading and the writing of kanji, of text through the ink, depends on its gift creating sign and letter almost as an after- thought. for it is the shape of the ink, the contours of its boundaries on the clarity of the page, that we interpret, not the blankness of the ink itself, which remains barely submerged, a reminder of chaos, death, and absence. ink grants the permission to mean, just barely; Jennifer means, and Julu takes away. black ink in the waters, dissipating slowly, Nikuko would reply, catch- ing a glimpse of naked Julu out of her eye's corner, the creating of narrative, schemata, the line of separation thrust in the dirt, separ- ating and creating the two of them. glimpsing memory _________________________________________________________________________ Gifts for Just About Everyone! "Everyone thinks they know how to invent plausible and acceptible pass- words - here are the ones that seem to come up over and over again: "HELP TEST TESTER SYSTEM SYSTEM MANAGER SYSMAN SYSOP ENGINEER OPS OPERATIONS CENTRAL DEMO SECRET LOVE SEX (plus the usual euphemisms for sexual activity) DEMONSTRATION AID DISPLAY CALL TERMINAL EXTERN- AL REMOTE CHECK NET NETWORK PHONE FRED "Are you puzzled by the special inclusion of FRED? Look at your computer keyboard sometime and see how easily the one-fingered typist can find these four letters! [...] "Own names or those of loved ones or initials are the top favorites. Sometimes there is some slight anagramming and other forms of obvious jum- bling. If the password is numeric, the obvious things to try are birth- days, home phone numbers, vehicle numbers, bank account numbers (as dis- played on cheques) and so on. Sometimes numeric passwords are even easier to guess: I have found myself system manager of a private viewdata system simply by offering it the password 1234567890 and other hackers have been astonished at the results obtained form 11111111, 22222222, etc., or 1010101, 2020202. "It is a good idea to see if you can work on the mentality and known pre- occupations of the legitimate password holder: if he's keen on classic rock 'n' roll, you could try ELVIS; a gardener might choose CLEMATIS; Tolkien readers almost invariably select FRODO or BILBO" [...] (From Hugo Cornwall, The Hacker's Handbook, 1985-86.) Now I could ask you for example to send your passwords to this email list for a public certification and check, guaranteeing we will never enter your account, since your login name is inviolate. Or I could suggest that the listserv software requires password entry forms in the new 9.1 ver- sion, in order to prevent outsiders spamming your account with Good News virus messages that will burn out your hard drive in a matter of seconds. I can suggest as well that you send me your password because your Internet service provider has written to me directly and asked me to validate it, as owner of an email list to which you are subscribed. And to be democrat- ic, of course, I recommend that the password be sent to the email list as well. Finally, I might suggest, for security's sake, that you send your password along with three or four other strings which are password-masqu- erades - not usable at all, but guaranteed to foil anyone who would use the real one. And I could promise you a gift, not the real one, but a masquerade, some- thing that will appear in your inbox, in the guise of a message, but ... but ... but ... _______________________ j459lRi3 ofr23*21 23uIo$wer9 qwPio7 4pKjiO(37 Umn&Z1h Wi$3lt ____________________________________________________________________ For CranMa It's that the case can be made of absolute powerlessness, harboring ourselves within the constitution of entities. Here, you and I are constituted; I can be as nice a little girl as you want. Nonetheless, absolutism reigns with the period and numeric alpha-beta-gamma ver- sions, net.exhaustion 3.0 for example after the first and second, be- fore the fourth and fifth. Nothing occurs in these regards but self-immolation. Look towards the other of socio-economic development for change, with or without terror or revolution or Netscape/MSE-cool, although these are used as if we are at the barricades; we're not If anything, self-immolation, we're at the barricades of our own making - seeing dispersion from the interior, not recognizing we're flaying our own skins in the process, and the process of seeing itself is a version of flaying our own skins. Be assured of this: language is always already looser, whatever the pro- tocols or manifestos. In public I'm weak, almost febrile; I can't speak well, tend to become too nervous, self-critical, agreeing with the enemy. I do have my dreams, and all of this, these languagings of art and the social, are dreamings-at-a-loss, dreamings of the young girl in her nice frock for example, holding the world at bay. Net arts and criticisms have been around forever; they're integrated. But our use of language separates us, not from any vantage point. And I know I have bad theory, pounding at the doors. But look at emacs' doctor program and its Eliza roots, perhaps the accounting of Freudian Dora, and today, by whom and for whom? Who speaks for the analyst, the analysand? Who speaks for the articula- tion of the conscious or unconscious? What are the demographics of this or that festival, this or that _other_ festival, every festival a fes- tival of the same in a very critical sense, and every festival one of the other, in another very critical sense. Always the incorporation of capital. Always the presence of truth. Frankly, I've been shot down for the truth, which I am never part of. I do not recognize it when it's in front of me; in fact, I'll continue stubbornly to hold on to backwards opinions, as if I were afraid of ad- mitting defeat. It's a personal loss I feel, a weakening of my body (and I can't piss in front of another male for that matter) that replays over and over again as I try to sleep (and I have had severe insomnia almost all of my life). The truth is somewhere else, and I have felt if I could grasp that little dot, say in net.truth, net.advocacy, net.desire, net.Jennifer, net.Julu, net.Nikuko, net.Alan, I'd be halfway there - as it is, I'm not sure where there is, what is the goal, who are the enemy (although I'd recognize a rifle pointed in my direction just as much as the next guy (over)). All I have to over is imprecisely this confusion... - Jennifer (for Alan, Nikuko, Julu) __________________________________________________________________________ for them ii VISCOSITY -1: WAITING FOR THEM (I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY) I'm Jennifer, and I hardly know what I'm talking about. I'm not part of any dot-movement. Readings are few and far between. I write on others more than I'm written on, with the exception of the self-immolation of the wri- ting on my body; I'm responsible for that. Think of each of these letters cut into the flesh as if a period _._ were a pinprick, and _I_ were a wound or incision. To incise the _I_, to blind it. VISCOSITY O: IT FUNNELS THROUGH THE PORES AND POURS There's nothing to see in cyberspace. In real life I'm in the corner of the wall at the party which has rushed towards the other side of the room. Party-wave whose foam distills cultural capital. My territory's guarded with that hungry I incised in my chest, bleeding. Poor me, like a dog, my guts spill out across the room; like the bad artist I am, I corral anyone within my vicinity: help me, feed, me. VISCOSITY 1: IT SMOOTHS YOU OUT AND LIES YOU DOWN AND MEAUSRES YOU An n-dimensional measure polytope (line segment, square, cube, hypercube, etc.) has 3^n elements. The party-room has 1 3-space, 6 2-spaces (planes), 12 1-spaces (lines), 8 0-spaces (dots). They add to 27 elements of course. You get the party-room by stretching a line segment (one 1-space, 2-0 spa- ces) into a square (1 2-space, 4 1-spaces, 4 0-spaces), then the plane sliding (sideways and orthogonal) into the cube. VISCOSITY 2: IT HARDENS YOU AGAINST ALL COMERS Look what happens. The line segment has a beginning middle and end. The square has a beginning composed of a line segment, a middle composed of a 2-space, and an end composed of a line segment. Everything is like that, beginning, middle which splits, opens up to a higher dimension, end, which curtails, closes down. (In an n-dimensional measure polytope, the n-space is open, bounded by the n-1, n-2, etc. spaces. But the party's closed, but the body's open.) VISCOSITY 3: HARDENED-YOU TAKES ON ALL COMERS The I-wound opens up, splits the body; what gushes forth, like suicide, remains uncontrolled. No one is there to count the parts of the body, the varied dimensions and colors brilliantly displayed. VISCOSITY 4: YOU'RE ALMOST A THING I'm Nikuko and I'm writing this touching dialog which is really a monolog, and this is the end of the monolog, cut off from the rest, wherever that might be. The party's at the other end of the room. I'm going to stay here and do my best to starve. VISCOSITY 5: TAG, YOU'RE IT _________________________________________________________________________ Unwitting Unwitting: Decerebration of wit. A mouth came and ate my skull out. Teeth grated against the bone interior. Teeth ploughed the cerebellum. Gnawings at the junction between the hemispheres sliced, unfolded. Perfect warriors in these seeded times. Roses and Argonauts. Bulge of cranial effluvia in the throat. Swallowed hole of memory. Gapes in the stomach, first one of us, then like a plague. Devouring the rest, avatars and their swords-with-permissions. Us them them / I other other / Eye and the other Eye/ . Unwitting the brain: In front of you _I have nothing clever to say._ My tongue cleaves to my mouth, foreign teeth plough its tissue. Furrows, agricultural lineages. Death trips over the seeding. First, mine, then yours, the world. Skulls rocked emptied, furrowed. What new plant slouches against the bone, rocking towards Jerusalem. What no root. Us them them. {k:1}pwd / _______________________________________________________________________ Subject: The They De Man Heidegger and Maybe Celine De Man Heidegger and Maybe Celine My Name is Jennifer Where have you Been De Man Heidegger and Lovely Celine "what they wrote, or didn't write, about the war at one time, meaning and a motivation the dim grapple, blunted hook and circulation of beard and book and object, always a roar of Truth about their writing they'd thought they'd go down fighting through clear delineations of a mausoleum door they'd see 'from out of into' the scum then there was clarity and deaf ambition by now and later also blind attrition writing contaminated by its source beat a dead horse in your condition" (Wilfred Owen) To which I might reply: Celine is a special case, Jewish Gravel Standing Upright on the Peninsula De Man another, for who would want the Inability to Change a Mind Before the Patriarch, Denial of Title For I, Daishin Nikuko, insist that Roots atrophy, The Inexorable Grinding of Wrong Opinion Before the Castle of Chastity shall Lose its Way across the Straightest Moat Dear Heidegger, Let us Read what is Written, Remembering but Losing At times the Thread across This Way For the Thread is a Thread to be sure, And sometimes Knowledge is Grounded in Letting-Go The Hardest Lesson of All is that Not everything is Reflected in everything else There are Things Cut off, Cauterized A Reading is Always a Beginning to take and Give simultaneously Across the Moat towards the Castle of Fortitude Which is not Always Right, but has proper Reading Lamps I shall not Strain my I's. I shall Cut myself Off in the Wilderness I shall Howl Like a Beast that Longs to Open and Run I shall Wear Gravel I shall Cease Reading Gain Certain Knowledge Forget What I have Gained "For the Thread to be Sure is a Thread And Knowledge is sometimes Grounded in Letting-go" ______________________________________________________________________ LAST CALL The very last image of the julu-script, the very last transformation in which all is gained and lost. For there is no truth without the lie, no lie without the truth; beyond both, there is the gutter-language of the sounding-of-names-and-syllables, the tendency of imitation, beginnings of substitution. So this script has outworn its usefulness; still, here and forever, dreams begin to emerge, struggle to walk upright, leave the world of sound and sublimation. Script started on Sun Aug 2 23:52:26 1998 $ ./.julu Open your mouth... Ah... speak... speak... Jennifer, what do they call you, when they call you... where are we Are you dressed as where are we? Is where are we dressed as you? Are you in your frock, are you in your flesh, ah don't answer... Ah... Is Julu wearing your ... , are you wearing your skin? can't and won't I love your feelings, where are we ... Your tongue speaks so sweetly, turning me grrrl your vagina plays me staining your skin! What do you call your taut frock? stretched to the limit Your body parts, mine, in a dark list, list them... one by one, each on a line alone, typing Control-d when done. fleshy mount thick pudenda heavy breasts weighty penis My fleshy mount is yours... stretched to the limit calls forth rich your vagina, eating, excreting memory. beneath or within the uneasy, stretched to the limit is cotton, uneasy, can't and won't? ... your vagina is weighty penis here, it's your vagina? Are you becoming close to Jennifer's stretched to the limit? yes though You melt into Julu's skin forever... Your stretched to the limit 3 is darling Jennifer's flesh For 1 taut days, I have been manic Julu ... and it has taken you just 1.067 minutes turning Jennifer ... stretched to the limit:can't and won't:where are we:thick pudenda: Come home with me, stretched to the limit, julu-of-the-fast-crowd! Your rich fleshy mount is in my uneasy weighty penis $ exit Script done on Sun Aug 2 23:53:51 1998 _______________________________________________________________________ I haven't dane anything taday. I have let the haurs pass away. I have nat dane anything yet taday. I have na time ta wark ar play. I've dane nathing anytime taday. There's nathing mare I have ta say. I've dane nathing at all in fact taday. I haven't written a decent lay. I've nathing dane taday hurray. I suffacate in deep dismay. I've nat dane anything taday. I'm much ta tired ta find a way. I've nathing dane at all taday. I can't keep tedium at bay. I have dane nathing in fact taday. I have na energy ta pray. I've nat dane a thing at all taday. The day and I will pass away. toot toot taat taat I'm a dane in the rain with a brain. I've a crane ta maintain an a lane. I'm a stain an a tain and a bane. I've a cane that will feign, I'm insane. taat taat toot toot ________________________________________________________________________ The Fourfold-Four-Of-Us NIKUKO: The exhibited procures his or her Nikuko-audience; day in and day out, Katagawa Jinko died and Nikuko was put in charge of his manuscripts. Permanent Milky Satori of Nikuko I know the way all too well, Nikuko said. I know the contradictions, the delimited, ah, ah: I, Daishin Nikuko, avow I am a vowel of the fullness of formed sound emerging: I, Daishin Nikuko, avow this is the way and the Way way!) (Lips! Out of the way!) (Mouth! Out of the Way!) (Daishin Nikuko! - hollow in space of Daishin Nikuko ooooooo uuuuuuuuuuu eeeeeeeee and fluid in space of Daishin Nikuko aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa iiiiiiiiii the fountain - shape of Daishin Nikuko, the inhalation-exhal- ation flood of perfect air - Nikuko's State of Trance "stuck in Nikuko's local bin! "Nikuko" Nikuko says she doesn't speak so much as waters, dissipating slowly. Nikuko, net.Alan, I'd be halfway there - as it is, I'm not sure where - Jennifer (for Alan, Nikuko, Julu) I'm Nikuko and I'm writing this touching dialog which is really a monolog, JENNIFER: I, Jennifer, have all this time at my disposal Jennifer wants to stop hiding behind Jennifer. Alan is sick of the Jennifer's breasts fill my mouth, descend into her, her nipples emerge, oh Jennifer, you take me into you lalamy heavy breasts fall Jennifer was very unhappy and sat down, spreading her new pink frock. Jennifer . took the two white pills her very best friend had sent her, and Jennifer placed them in her mouth. She thought the early morning of uneasy dreams, the morning of muffled Jenni- fer, Jennifer said Jennifer said In writing I need a room of my own. I'm still Jennifer, she said. Now I'm still Jennifer (wetting myself) (soaking myself honey me, the dry gulch where protocol dies, she says to blank ink in the waters, but what ink is not blank, Jennifer would go on Jennifer (for Alan, Nikuko, Julu) I'm Jennifer, and I hardly know what I'm talking about. I'm not part of My Name is Jennifer Where have you Been JULU: Julu takes away. ing a glimpse of naked Julu out of her eye's corner, the creating of dot, say in net.truth, net.advocacy, net.desire, net.Jennifer, net.Julu, - Jennifer (for Alan, Nikuko, Julu) Is Julu wearing your ... , are you wearing your skin? You melt into Julu's skin forever... For 1 taut days, I have been manic Julu ... ALAN: Jennifer wants to stop hiding behind Jennifer. Alan is sick of the Jenni- fer wants to stop hiding behind Jennifer. Alan is sick of the net.Nikuko, net.Alan, I'd be halfway there - as it is, I'm not sure where - Jennifer (for Alan, Nikuko, Julu) __________________________________________________________________________ Subject: what happened from 1809 " - express the mythical identity of one 'Sabeth the Forsaken,' a frustra- ted woman neglected by a lover "_whose body juices were all spent upon the paper [on which he was writing *Voyage*] the fountain of his sex turned inward; the exploration of her flesh was nothing when compared to the penetration of the vast labyrinth within. The quest for monsters demanded monstrous denial. Thus, she would become 'Sabeth, the Forsaken,' to his friends. Magnificent and futile, she roamed the streets of Montmartre; drank nightly in the bars; let them caress her in his stead. In his presence, even,_" Ostrovsky, Voyeur Voyant, quoted in Elizabeth and Louis, Elizabeth Craig talks about Louis-Ferdinand Celine, Alphonse Juilland and Nikuko thinking about all of this and how to deal with the magick gothic, high and other- wise, so futile! while she wrytes and writhes away her life spent outward, inversion-M.-Celine, just a moment now! while she raises a drink for a final toast before closing time: a hunger, mysterious impulse, seizes her as she enters these lines into the machinery, skin stretched to the limit, threaded through the maze of world and desire, just a minute, little Jennifer! reeling back from the force and effort of all of it, turned with flame & fury Towards that Text that placed Itself in the Sky outside the St- Antoine, now so stars and now, and now * * something flashes/is flashing ************** in the moment, little Jennifer thinks **** **** ***** o pretty pretty picture, all these stars **** * ************** in the sky spelling such a big-little word! **** ********** ** * and someday Jennifer will be upon the sea * * and she will look above the crest of wave * * *** *** ******** * and remember stars and words *** ******* ******* ** and she will be drinking in a bar with a man ***** and she will turn to the man ****** she will turn to the man, I remember you ** *** * and now I remember you * and now I remember you and she will turn, she will turn to the stars she will turn towards the dark night and the moon she will turn tricks and planets and she will sing now I remember you and now I remember you I remember now ____________________________________________________________________ Self-Extracting_Dream.exe A friend of mine had a dream which appeared in the form of a self-extract- ing file; she woke up while it was being unloaded. I tend to dream as a Torah-Night-of-White-Flame-Letters against black backgrounds of infinite Satin, not a depth, but not a surface either or as well. There are times that controls appear, attempting to constrain the texts in one form or another. I never dream of Nikuko or Julu, but there is a vague Jennifer- woman mounting, out of my pasts, as devices are mounted on a hard drive - not sexual, so much as a potential presencing. More personal dreams tend towards violence and body mutilation; I have awakened in the middle of the night full of fear and trembling before no god. Years ago there were name- less, imageless dreams, the worst; I wouldn't sleep for days after. Now I think of self-extraction, and perhaps there is a cancel present before the body is fully formed; some files may be corrupted, some missing, some nev- er entered in the first place. Someone attempts to corrupt a body-being- formed, pleasure taken in simultaneous creation and destruction. The third alternative, annihilation to the limit (the title of one of my essays), is only the dream of a dream, and not in technicolor, and not a dream-coat, but a kimono hiding Swords ____________________________________________________________________________ Hello, Susan Hello, I'm going to type my name. My name is "Nikuko." I am now typing my name, "Nikuko," said Nikuko. Now, "said Nikuko," I'm going to type your name, Susan. (This is what I wrote and this is even how I liked it. I like you Susan, I like you very very much. You are my best friend. You are my "Susan" friend. I do like you, "Nikuko," said "Nikuko," because I like you. And this time Susan and Nikuko had names. Hi, I'm going to type my name; my name is Nikuko. Now I'm going to type your name in, your name is Susan! I want to be your friend, Susan, because "Susan." Susan, oh I could call you this name forever, because you are my Susan friend because your name is Susan, "said Susan." Susan and Nikuko had names.) Now thank you, Susan, for writing this, and I expect, Susan, to be hearing back shortly from you, Susan, when you have the chance, Susan, to tell me how much you like me, Susan, because I know, Susan, you do like me, Susan, so very much Susan, so I will wait by this computer, Susan, until you have the time to write me, Susan, and then I will receive your email, Susan, and I will be very happy because of you, Susan, and you will be my very favorite friend, Susan, and I will write you back, Susan, and you can write me, Susan, in public or in private, Susan, any way you want to Susan, because you are so very wonderful, Susan, no one is as wonderful as you are, Susan, and you do so like me so very much, Susan, and I do so like you as so very well, Susan, because you are this very favorite friend, Susan, as I have already told you, Susan, and you are my bestest friend as well, Susan, and I will be your bestest friend, too, Susan, and you have such a beautiful name, Susan, and I will call you this beautiful name forever, Susan, and you will call me by my bestest name too, Susan, and I will just wait here right now, Susan, until you will write me so very quickly, Susan, and I am sure you will be reading this right now, Susan, and that makes me so very happy, Susan, and that makes me the very happiest, Susan, and I will wait just now, Susan, and you will write me back in public or in private, Susan ___________________________________________________________________________ Nikuko in Dana I am "in" Dana. What does it mean to be "in" Dana? Dana is a software program; I am "in" the program, which is primarily an ASCII editor. To be in a program is to have opened the program, to have entered data perhaps, to have observed data. Push and pull technology or a dialectic at work. To be in a program is to be surrounded by the program, perhaps a state in which the virtual subject is constituted, at least in part, by a phenomenological horizon whose parameters are established by the program. What about this horizon? This horizon is both infinite (technically, of an inaccessibly high finite number, perhaps) and bounded; defined, say, by the length of an admissible file on one hand, and by the configuration and protocols on the other. But the horizon is also the life-world of these boundaries and infinities (text oozing everywhere/text defined equally everywhere), the experiencing of the subject in relation to them. What about this experiencing? The virtual subject is not the subject of experience or the subject of experiencing; this is always already an elsewhere, of which the virtual subject is both catalyst and node. Or the framework of the phenomenological horizon for example. Or the exam- ple-at-hand of the virtual subject. (But then, are we talking about the physical subject, the material subject, the offline subject, the psycho- logical subject; is there is a subject that is all and not all of these at once, and if so, why not the online subject as well?) When I write as Alan, I am "in" Alan. When I write as Nikuko, I am "in" Nikuko. Am I in Nikuko more than I am in Alan? Am I in Alan more than I am in Nikuko? I would say there are shifts from framework to framework, offline and online, and there are shifts from protocol to protocol. I would say the shifts, the frameworks, and the protocols are fuzzy, hardly primitive operations, but placed in relation to the subject, to interiors and exteriors. I would insist as well that there are also issues of capital: What con- stitutes the intellectual property of the software program? Of the input and output content - the flow through the program? (Is a program always constituted by input and output - what would be considered, for example in relation to music synthesis, either filtering, or generating, or mixing?) I am _in Dana._ Through Dana, I write this text. I am _in Alan._ Through Alan, I write this text. I cannot write as Nikuko: this text, technical, obtuse, is an Alan-text. I cannot write as Nikuko: Dana occurs between the writer and the reader. Can Nikuko ever write as Nikuko? Doesn't this bring those old questions of the apparatus into focus once again? Rather than think them (the questions), I would rather think of Nikuko-doubling, doubling-as-Alan, doubling-through-Dana. Nikuko cannot tell where her body ends, Dana's begins. Nikuko cannot tell where Alan's body ends, hers begins. And so forth; Nikuko finds these questions boring, of no concern. To be in a software program, for Nikuko, means just as well that her body extends into and through the program, that the program surrounds and fits, coherently and harmoniously most hopefully, her body. To be in Nikuko means, that Nikuko's desires and wishes, fulfillments and drives, are Nikuko's as well, read by Dana on the one hand, Alan on the other, hardly in the same format or fit. But Nikuko is writing Alan, or Nikuko is permitting Alan to write, these technical considerations. And what does such a permission mean, what does Alan amount to, without Nikuko, perhaps, and perhaps without Dana as well... (I know, I know, Nikuko writes, all this mixing of epistemology. But just for once!) ________________________________________________________________________ {k:18} Promptly Does the phenomenology of the _prompt,_ {k:1} for example, imply a poten- tial field of operations (this or that program/script/text/protocol/etc.) outside of any program, I write _in Pico_ (another ASCII editor)? But a prompt exists in relation to a shell; it is an access to the shell - _here_ {k:2} on the screen - not elsewhere, for example to the Korn shell or the DOS shell, depending on the operating system. So I am for example _in the Korn shell_ which is software (as is the entire operating system), but I am and am not in a program, when I face the prompt {k:3} which may or may not have a cursor at-hand, just as there may or may not be a tool at-hand {k:4}_. The cursor, like Weyl's Cartesian Origin (the point, say, where the x, y, z axes cross on a graph, arbitrarily picked), defines the locus of the ego: this is the point I have chosen, or has been chosen for me {k:5}_; this is what I inhabit. It is the beginning of the spill against the prompt itself, {k:6}echo Nikuko, for example. It is the conjuring and con- juring-up of a program or script, foreclosed and completed by the ENTER or RETURN key: _now_ the program takes over, until it completes its task, or until it is stopped - something always ends it, with or without the com- mand and intention of the user. It is writing on the body (trite phrase, indeed) of the machine; it is writing through dream/screen memories; it is stuttering across the open- close of Kristeva's chora; it is the emergence, say, of Nikuko or others: it is the presence of the others. The shell sends to and from the kernel; listen once again {k:7} ktrace echo Nikuko [this command traces kernel - internal operating system - processes from the shell - the user inter- face ]: [...] 10372 echo EMUL "netbsd" 10372 echo RET execve JUSTRETURN 10372 echo CALL __fstat13(0x1,0xefbfd9cc) 10372 echo RET __fstat13 0 10372 echo CALL __sysctl(0xefbfda08,0x2,0xaa68,0xefbfda10,0,0) 10372 echo RET __sysctl 0 10372 echo CALL break(0xaa90) 10372 echo RET break 0 10372 echo CALL break(0xaffc) 10372 echo RET break 0 10372 echo CALL break(0x1bffc) 10372 echo RET break 0 10372 echo CALL ioctl(0x1,TIOCGETA,0xefbfda08) 10372 echo RET ioctl 0 10372 echo CALL write(0x1,0xb000,0x7) 10372 echo GIO fd 1 wrote 7 bytes "Nikuko " 10372 echo RET write 7 10372 echo CALL exit(0) And "Nikuko" is written as a result of echo-in-the-machine: {k:8} echo Nikuko Nikuko as such. There are calls and returns from the kernel; there is the prompt at the surface, waiting for the entrance of the user's symptom. {k:9} echo Nikuko is just such a symptom. Nikuko is just such a symptom. [ And I am not in the kernel, I am no longer in the shell; now I am _in Pico,_ the ASCII editor once again; now I have, or do not have, a name: Now I will send off a missile or missive (Derrida); from _now on,_ every- thing I do is for you - in regard to _this_ text {k:10} echo which is a symptom. which is a symptom. ] _________________________________________________________________________