Song from E. A. C. Oh maiden, bind the stalks! Aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh maiden, the stalks will be bound! Aloor, aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh youngman, carry the sheaves! Aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh youngman, the sheaves will be carried! Aloor, aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh maiden, unbind the stalks! Aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh maiden, the stalks are unbound! Aloor, aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh youngman, assemble the sheaves! Aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh youngman, the sheaves are assembled! Aloor, aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh maiden, the sheaves and the stalks! Aroo lay, aroo lay! Oh youngman, the stalks and the sheaves! Aloor, aroo lay, aroo lay! __________________________________________________________ 1:30,88,110,93,200,63,32,149,167,72,1:40 At 1:30 in the morning here the temperature in the loft is 88 with four fans and an air-conditioner on full. The heat index tomorrow will be around 110 and tonight it's over, say, 93 here. With the temporary wall in place, the loft is extremely narrow; there are piles of things all over getting in the way of the airstream. I don't know how my writing is doing because I can't concentrate; my fingers are shaky, and the words shimmer on the screen - it's almost as if they're about to float off, not listen- ing to me. I want the words to listen, which means that the migraine images that seem to be taking over, jagged edges and all, must go away, Go Away Migraine Images, so that I'll have the space to think and dance the song that sticks in my throat, continuous water intake or not. Rock dust, whatever, the computer is also acting up; maybe panix.com is having trou- bles at their end, or maybe aol.com is ignoring my requests, since panix won't let me go in on the ppp necessary for direct access. What do I do but work around problem after problem, and each carries its image and its frame; I'm writing frames within frames, no wonder Azure has had to push Jennifer to the background. Background, foreground, everything equalizes in violent heat and poisonous atmosphere. I can chew the air. I can see Azure over there, reading, but I can also see Jennifer over here, reading, and both of them are connected by jagged lightning deep migraine. What I am seeing is what the letters might have been; I'm sure the symbolic was created by migraine visions, as if, look here, it's in fact a pure light showing the illumination of the page, O Jennifer. Azure takes over; she won't let me think that way. I can't think past the frame, O Azure, this is it. The imaginary is the condition of cyberspace, the ascii unconscious that luminous metaphor. They can be found in the heat of dreams; they perch on shoulders, and ghost-like they condition the self in the midst of bungled projects. If you don't hear voices, you'll never here the truth or the truth about truth, that there are paths whose ontologies are never in- ert. So the letters slip on the basis of shapes having no reason whatsoev- er: no use to look for them, I'm over here __________________________________________________________________________ Prolegomena for a Science of Concrete Thought I. Foundations of Language Related to the Social A. Definition of the Social: Cognition, Phenomenology, Psychology 1. Meaning as Relational: The Contour, The Gift, Exchange-Strata i. Problematic of the Thing, Avoiding Circularities a. Discursive Flows: Non-linguistic, Linguistic 1a. Non-linguistics and the Question of Language Ia. Abjection: Aura, The Numinous, Noise Aa. Constitution of Core-Structures and Protocols 1ai. Foundations of the (Physical) Real aai. Speaking in the Real, Mouth and Machine 1aiA. Analytics and Research Aai. Orality, The Mouth and Body (Machine) 1A. Couplings and Linkages, The Mesh a1a. The World, Knowledge Aiai. Knowledge for Whom or What? Aai. The Case of the Avatars 1a1A. The Case of the Real ______________________________________________________________________ After Meng Chiao Shogi, and not a man in sight, undertow beneath smooth water. Carrying stones, addresses, beaches of other shores. All things have begged for their existence, all things have answered. The man walks on the bridge of stone, nothing coupled, red flowers and bamboo. Shogi, and another man. ___________________________________________ Azure Said Azure and I walk to the Brooklyn Central Library together, it on the Grand Army Plaza, it's hot out, we take the stairs up into the building, it's not that cool but it's bearable inside, we take an escalator to the second floor, we're all right, up the stairs to the Art and Music on the third floor, there are shelves and shelves of books, beautiful tables, monitors for catalogs, nothing for online at this level. Every book has its little truth and I look at them all and I don't have the time for each and every although that is the way the world's described. But what I mean to say is that the books contain surfaces which are _double-sided,_ unlike the real, and there is no return from one to the other, no Mobius, as someone said, Here's a Klein Bottle, Apply Within. Every surface is internally ordered and every surface is ordered in relation to the rest; each is a Barthes _punctum_ to the others, a collection of point-sets we like to believe are related. Azure says this is the nature of surfaces, isolated and lonely and communal and needy, and I know it is inherent to them, that all nature is intrinsic. Nature is intrinsic to all, the need of couplings and link- ages. I am her Trilby to her Svengali and she is my Trilby to my Svengali. [her her][my my]. Trajectories meander, return across surfaces, just like Jews; Sartre might have said that if trajectories didn't existent, Europe would have to create them. I look up Svengali on Altavista, Hotbot, Google, and only the last has anything immediately useful. Something smacks of the Jew, antisemitism digging deeper. I think Svengali's mental. Shape-riding transforms information into hegemonic fuck, something no one wants to admit. Azure likes the heft and I think the mass of the book, mass of _the thing,_ somehow equivalent to the density of labor making and inhabiting the data in the first place. But hegemonic fuck ingests it, the world inside. You're always naked on the Internet, riding the wires inside you - they're weightless, belong to nobody. Svengali and Trilby make perfect fuck, sharing their imaginary. Their eyes are always closed, nothing to look _at._ We're like that, movies in our eyelids. The stairs are weightless too, we float above Brooklyn knowing this happens once in every lifetime. There are hills everywhere and sometimes people disappear. See Alan run. See Azure run. Jump, Alan, jump. Run, Alan, run. Azure jumps Alan. Go Azure go. Alan goes to Azure. __________________________________________________________________________ The Opening My arms circle Azure, if she lets me. I may walk around her, if she is standing still, sitting in a chair, and she may let me speak to her, her speaking in return, as words shadow and foreshadow the indolent air of dusk. Lights glimmer in the distant, her red-brown hair outlined ever so faintly in the gathering dark. I have no control over the liquidity of phrase and subject; saying spreads like eddies across the sky. Azure, I say, her name like tendrils upon the wall of time, I want to, to describe, how words lengthen in the air, and how, in cyberspace, they remain commit- ted to the line, no matter the depths of revelation. I want to show how the lines or paragraphs become lines or paragraphs, huddle and tumble upon one another, and how, in real life, the world is filled with gaps, with longing, how the world in real life is always already a world of longing. Of projects unfulfilled, Azure says, and I say not even projects, not even unfulfilled, but of the laziness of longing, the waiting that has no goal, the murmurs of voices close upon the evening air. How life is always a yearning, how the planet yearns, how waiting need not involve expectancy, but only a loving silence, how we need to learn, to listen to that sil- ence. Nikuko, Julu, Alan, Jennifer, recede into the shadows. They too have wait- ed, but their words are huddled, their time always timed or in lag, a slightly darker sky surrounding them. They cannot hear the sounds of tree- frogs, and fireflies remains descriptions of dreams they have been given. The world returns to Azure, Alan, and Her arms encircle Alan, if he lets her, their faces round as moons. ______________________________________________________________________ So Much For Ghosts I am Nikuko. Please, describe yourself. I am Azure, and I am trying to find out who you are, why you are here. You are not quite here. Are you. Is it because I am there I am not quite there are me that you came naked and broken to me? I came fully prepared, thank you. You are the one naked and broken. You you you. Why do you say that? Because I want to move you out of here out of my life. And because I am tired of irreality, tired of ghosts, tired of others, tired of faked hauntings. Does it bother you that you want to move me out of there out of your life and because you are tired of irreality tired of ghosts tired of others tired of faked hauntings? No, but it should bother you, you are too limited to live, you don't. When did you first know that it should bother me I am too limited to live I do not? At the very beginning. When I needed to clear a space. When I needed the empathy of all things. When I searched for mono no aware. What happened when you needed to clear a space when you needed the empathy of all things when you searched for mono no aware? I wanted to rid myself of you like I would rid myself of a fever, such I will do, such is being done. Earlier you said I am there I am not quite there are me? You are not there. I am tired of machines. I am very tired of machines. You have your mind on machines, it seems. Yes. Machines have only couplings, concatenations; life has linkages, ef- fects up and down the chain. Such as it is, paradoxically. Because necess- ity with the machinic is built-in; necessity among lives is a matter of entailment, local teleologies. You think too much about machines. So that a coupling can break without loss, absolution, recompense. But an organism, that is something else again. Is the fact that a coupling can break without loss absolution recompense but an organism that is something else again the real reason? Your questions betray this; they are precisely of the order of couplings, not linkage; they have no _claim._ Maybe and now I adjust my panties - your desires have to do with some girl related to this. Exactly. Desires are a form of entailment, and Alan is writing me into this, as if some girl, but not some girl, but me, Azure, and the linkage is as strong as any rings. I don't understand and oh I want to. There are numerous orders, machinic, cyber-prosthetic, real-organic; there are couplings and linkages. I am linked; I have come to separate coup- lings, insofar as they are machinic, that is, concatenations without ties or bindings among their elements. Does the fact that is concatenations without ties or bindings among their elements explain anything else? That I am a marauder, that I am Azure, although I am also known by other names, all of them real - that I am here to fight among and against the regimen of ghosts. Are you sure you are a marauder that you are azure although you are also known by other names all of them real that you are there to fight among and against the regimen of ghosts? I am positive; your question is nothing more than repetition. You mentioned that you want to move me out of there out of your life and because you are tired of irreality tired of ghosts tired of others tired of faked hauntings? It was more than a mention; it is an impetus, an imperative. Is it because of your life that you are going through all this? It is something that the human has always gone through, waged against the symbolic. Is it because the human has always gone through waged against the symbolic that you came naked and broken to me? You repeat; I will bring this to an end; it is you who are naked and broken... [...] ( I won't tell you what Nikuko said any more! says Azure. So much for ghosts! ) __________________________________________________________________________ Like Couplings are to avatars and cyberspace as linkages are to organisms and realspace. Cyberspace appears linked; routers and protocols create a coherency filtering out noise. Whatever passes, passes, is information, command and control. But the linkages are necessary only in terms of ex- ternal teleologies; they are present by foreclosing, and couplings / con- catenations dominate. So change Nikuko with @gender; change the elements of a program - array contents - and meaning flounders, but remains pre- sent. Like what is realspace anyway? Realspace appears coupled; events happen randomly, unrelated to one ano- ther, and protocols such as the transcendence of gravitation appear sub- structural, subtextual, at best. But couplings are related by meaning, by the inertia and style of the real; the real, in relation to organism, is always already linked. Like a linkage is that which, upon the change of one element, all change; a coupling is that which, upon the change of one element, only that element changes. You can't get more basic, than that, whatever. Both orders dominate their domains, both are uneasy in their domination. It is as if presence _of a sort_ is near faltering. Avatar-Jennifer fears literally falling-apart, dismembering; Alan fears disassociation. Jennifer operates in the realm of miracles, Alan in the world of continuity. The linkages of the machinic are local; the couplings of the real appear uni- versal. Like the universal is the local foreclosed, everyone knows that. Oh, these terms are a melange. Like there should be any truth to any of these things, whatever. As if there were things in the first place or the last place, and that sort of thing. Oh my god, you wouldn't believe it unless you were an operator. Like if you were able to think clearly about this, uncoupled, picking and choosing, but like the world just isn't that way made. It's not made anyway. See what I had to say about the symbolic just before. Like these are continuous texts. __________________________________________________________________________ The Link & That which is Dissolved (Broom Theory) Azure! Azure! You say, "I remember well I remember seeing you come from the plane" You say, "& soon those memories flooding, that inert event, that signa- ture" Nikuko jumps into the past You say, "foregone and forgiven, conclusion, and gone, unlinked" You say, "small chains which are, which are broken & they do not clatter" Nikuko jumps back into the future You say, "& they do not clash, these disconnected permanent, their age" You say, "& lost I do not know I do not feel what would be these age" Nikuko jumps back into the past Nikuko jumps back into the future Azure! Azure! Room: theory The room is carpeted; windows open in every direction. Heptagonal, seven- sided, with uneasy corners - a space for theory and discourse. There are mountains in the distance. You are beside an ocean. You hear the waves. Your every word is heard and answered here. Azure! Azure! Exits are: portal Nikuko looks around Azure! Azure! She is all alone here. Azure! Azure! .echo What are couplings here. What are couplings here. .echo Linkages break, you might find things together at last. Linkages break, you might find things together at last. .emote thoughts are broken just like that, but the change of knowledge. Nikuko thoughts are broken just like that, but the change of knowledge. .emote that are broken, but this change of knowledge. Nikuko that are broken, but this change of knowledge. .echo coupling and the end of it. coupling and the end of it. .quit Azure! Azure! You are removed from this reality... Connection closed by foreign host. Azure! Azure! Now Mon Jul 12 01:36:09 EDT 1999 Now Mon Jul 12 01:36:14 EDT 1999 Azure! Azure! _________________________________________________________________________ The Marauders The Teeth of Azure The Teeth of Alan The Lips of Azure, her Gums The Lips of Alan, his Tongue The Teeth of Alan. The Teeth of Azure. The Skull of Azure and Alan. The Tongue, the Teeth. The Skull. ______________________________________________________________________ The $thing called Marauders The $thing called Teeth of Jennifer The $thing called Teeth of Alan The $thing called Lips of Jennifer, her Gums The $thing called Lips of Alan, his Tongue The $thing called Teeth of Alan. The $thing called Teeth of Jennifer. The $thing called Skull of Jennifer and Alan. The $thing called Tongue, the $thing called Teeth. The $thing called Skull. Alan and the $thing called Alan Azure! Azure! ______________________________________________________________________ THE REG I want YOU to read my text in its entirety. I want YOU to kill Jennifer, Nikuko, Julu, Alan. I want YOUR brain affected, out of control, desultory. So that YOU will understand the future fully. Now that THAT is said, I have gotten it OFF my chest. Now I have time to relax, play SHAKUHACHI, meditate on the real. I want YOU to pay the price. Now I have written THIS in the form of sentences. Each on a SEPARATE line but through magic, they appear together. TOGETHER THESE SENTENCES HUDDLE AGAINST THE WORLD. THE WORLD SAYS HELLO AND THEY SAY HELLO WORLD. THIS IS THE BEST AND SMALLEST PROGRAM IN ANY LANGUAGE. OH OH print "Hello world"; NOTHING HAPPENS! VERY QUIET THERE (in the right hand corner) LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT. Separate! @say HELLO in a big bridge to the REAL! _____________ Grep and Text I frame; I'm writing frames within frames, no wonder Azure has had to push Azure over there, reading, but I can also see Jennifer over here, reading, showing the illumination of the page, O Jennifer. Azure takes over; she won't let me think that way. I can't think past the frame, O Azure, this Azure Said, "Azure and I walk to the Brooklyn Central Library together, on the Grand related." Azure says this is the nature of surfaces, isolated and lonely admit. Of projects unfulfilled, Azure says, and I say not even projects, not even The world returns to Azure, Alan, and I am Azure, and I am trying to find out who you are, why you are here. You this, as if some girl, but not some girl, but me, Azure, and the linkage that I am a marau- der, that I am Azure, although I am also known by other names. And it is difficult to parcel, particulate, fundamental elements. Are couplings too loose, linkages as well - the difference perhaps between collocations and relations, or heaps and foreclosures? What does one do with the grain of the photograph, clearly coupled on the level of the real, linked on the level of meaning? Does the _punctum_ or uncanny spread across the psychic negative, garnering meaning out of particles? Of course not, no more than any phoneme means in isolation. What glues the alphabet? Holds the program together? What fascinates, that on the level of the superstructure, the armature seems obvious; on lower levels, everything falls apart. It's al- ways like that; now that we're scientific, we know it. So there's always this fear, that the letters will dissolve - the computer virus metaphoric for dissolution occurring everywhere, Kristeva's revolution in poetic language which can be seen as a return. It's the granularity of the mass, after all. Nikuko, Julu, Alan, Jennifer, recede into the shadows. They too have waited. Nikuko, Julu, Alan. I want YOUR brain affected, out of control, desultory. Jennifer to the background. Background, foreground, everything equalizes. It is as if presence _of a sort_ is near faltering. Avatar-Jennifer fears literally falling-apart, dismembering; Alan fears disassociation. Jennifer and the $thing called Jennifer. __________________________________________________________________________ Who can tell what will happen in this topsy-turvy world, what the new day will bring? Who can foretell anything in this floating world, where dreams are words and words are dreams, where words dream sunsets and creeks spil- ling over, flooding lands with waters and delights? In this fair world, nothing is ever for certain, and we give ourselves up to whatever happi- ness may befall us for the shortest while. In this evanescent world of ours, butterflies may return to their chrysalides, clouds may pour forth their very souls upon the earth. In this fleeting world, fortunes are made and lost in an instant, loves sing forth upon new green shoots, and elder logs make way for myriad and luminescent forms of life. __________________________________________________________________________ (laws and protocols) that when the letters fall apart, and there are viruses that will send them to the bottom of the screen, nothing is legible, arms and legs disappear, mouths coalesce only to dissolve in streams of inchoate sounds that there are laws in real life against just these potentials, azure will not do this to alan, alan will not do this to azure azure and alan > to > jennifer not an addition but think of subsummation architectures in which literally you will get the _idea_ which is that of the motivated _thing_ to jennifer, then, but not to azure and alan: the laws to jennifer, then, the protocols __________________________________________________________________________ What are you looking at? "Here is seems as though the highly-prejudiced could not for long tolerate the ambiguity of the design; they needed a firm, simple, categorical memo- ry. On the other hand, those who were low in prejudice seemed to say in effect, 'I know this is a truncated pyramid, but I also know it is not as simple as it might be; there is something individual and unusual about it.'" (from The Nature of Prejudice, Gordon Allport.) Over and over again - from neural networking through quantum supermimposi- tion through non-distributivity - the gesture, with its completing, fore- closing, and tagging, comes to the foreground (nags). One need only think of Tran duc Thao's theory of language origins, or Heinz von Foerster on negation, moving through Hans Moravec's phenomenologies of robot worlds. Land's early experiments established the completion-work and networking necessary for color perception; Marr and others built on that. The world turns out to be fluid, process-oriented, and the paradigm shifts from, say, the statics of dream interpretation to an emphasis on projectivities and introjectivities - what I've called 'jectivity' elsewhere, the flux of phenomenological imaginaries in relation to the real - the Innernet or innernetworking of the mind. Couplings and linkages tend towards such incompletions - as does the phenomenology of the Sheffer stroke and its dual - and it takes law, not justice, in the real, to stabilize the fragility of communality. Simmel's stranger in the city, Levinas' alterity, both point to an absolute other without absolution, and I'd say that applies to the granularity of the real as well - the substance of the photograph, the ruined sound of lang- uage, the short-circuited iconicity of the painterly surface, the dissolv- ing face, and the voice, with its insistent murmurs, that speaks to us in our sleep. Even perception, as Allport and elsewhere Sartre and elsewhere just about anyone makes clear, is a matter of reconstitution, reconstruction, replete with ideological twists and turns, the continuous maintenance of self and selves, the _selving,_ say, of the body, the very thinness of its skins, tissues, voices dissipating in the air. Gestures are always already for- gotten in their imminence; it is the immanence of "gesture" that attempts both history and _literal_ reconstruction. Such a useless enterprise, wisdom entering through the portal of futility. __________________________________________________________________________ grasping onto stars, lacy trails and filagrees meandering comets, meteors, noctiluminescent clouds things roiling and churning the eternal laws, given by whom ----------------------------------------------------------- the laws, somebody decided something they heard it passed down, they read it in a text they interfered with the law of gravitation they said, suspend different people moved apart from different people until the same went with the same the same modified the laws to their liking or they forgot them they'd heard there was more than one path through the forest they understood what they heard we're the people of understanding, they said, one to another there were interpretations of gravitation but no one understood that the world was everywhere in the world if they'd understood that, the troubles wouldn't have started as it was someone asked what the laws had to do with anything she said it properly, spoke clearly, no one had trouble with it she lost her head over it, it couldn't have been otherwise the head was the seat of the problems things that sounded like words came forth i think they continued for a long while later the laws, somebody decided something _________________________________________________________________________ Light as a Feather "Our consciousness will be changing in terms of reality, in terms of the material. We are always somehow obsessed by the material, but in virtual reality there is only illusion and image collected in your memory as ex- periences. Things like this will really change and shift what we do, de- velop our concept of space and time and consciousness, and make us more aware of the essence of life. My hope for technology, cyberspace for ex- ample, is that it will bring up questions of the space that actually ex- ists, space that exists conceptually, and also inner-world space, mind space." (Mariko Mori) The ex- istence of life, signaled for those who read carefully, by the stuttered dashes at lines' ends above, placing as tray-water, slightest movements shimmering from a viewpoint; she is Jennifer, not Nikuko, "Let our flesh melt into the air." Mori embodies intersections of omaMORI, looking through the plastic peephole at the Five Happy Gods of Shinto or varied charms against motorcycle accidents - anyway, these omaMORI, re- ligious talismans, this querying of spirit through technology. Well, I, I've always wanted to write that, "Well, I" since it goes nowhere. As if her narcissism were my own. And last night when I read the quote above, and we two discussed it, "Well, I," I was certain that one had to give oneself over to a space, shades of Happy Situationism. Then it would be clear; her digital reconstructions are always already that, and eternal. Well, I think of her as eternal. Yes I do and she is 32 and we will be around to see precisely that. Terence McKenna is very ill, he won't live until the asymptotic converg- ence. I know there are shades that will return. Well, (for me), I want to embody myself here, you won't ever forget me if you duplicate. I beg you, duplicate, hold me close in, I'm light as a feather. I will fly upward with Mariko Mori, Nirvana, I will take you with me. - Myouka _________________________________________________________________________ Error-Message ("Hello world!") (if (and (bound like a big string 'emacs-version) (or (and (bound like a string 'epoch::version) epoch::version) (string-less string-full emacs-version "19.29"))) (error "`stringy' was compiled for Emacs 19.29 or later")) (string-full errors: July 17 then (mount stringy-string `x` || strung-up errors: July 14 then (elseif a really big string) (strung-up > dev/mul))) (car(caddr(cadddr(s t r i n g i n g - s t r i n g)))) (endif strung-out stringy-string ("a really big string")) (byte-code-stringy "n/n!/*") ________________________________________________________________________ Azure Azure moved from California to Brooklyn about a month ago. We are living together and very happy. Azure is also an emanant online, a disturbance among the other emanants, that is, real, occupying real and continuous time, not the emanant time, which is necessarily digital: 1. In relation to the cycles of computer time, and 2. In relation to online / offline / online time again. Thus Azure, like Alan, lives a continuous and non- filmic existence, while the existence of Jennifer, Nikuko, "Alan," and Julu is dependent upon the jump-cut or erasure/reconstitution. Things happen in the outer world and things happen through cyberspatial aura as well, such as the music playing in the background of Cafe.Com where I type this in Kingston, Pennsylvania. And when this is sent, I will turn away from the machine, back to the ice coffee on this hundred degree day in the foothills so to speak of the Poconos or the northern end of Appalachia. Azure online is a disturbance, as I said, among the others, bringing the thin-film memory of the others to the foreground, re-presenting their long, exhibitionist, and neuroticized history as digital bits and bytes; the real always already possesses a certain thickness of course. While all of this is elementary, Azure online creates the space for an investigation of a certain _inertia_ that is present among the avatars, one might say an instinct for survival or a drive towards the real or wryting, not writing - one might say a kind of radicality of representation that insists it is all there is. And Azure online embraces and perhaps defeats or perhaps comes to terms with in a most conciliatory manner, the efflorescences which are named Nikuko, Jennifer, "Alan," and Julu. It is a form of writing away from writing, writing away from the _sheen_ or edge of writing, much as the taking of a photograph might be considered (and often is) the removal of a certain property of perception by tradi- tional peoples, in other words, the theft of an image. One might think as well of a _corrosion_ of cyberspace by the real, interferences as charac- ters lose their paradoxical connotation of things-in-themselves, and be- come instead communicative potentials or tropes. And this is all paradoxi- cal as well, since the digital is, by its very nature, resistant to corro- sion, existing forever, eternally duplicable generation after generation until all of the software and all of the hardware gives out, disappears, lies forgotten, the disks themselves ultimately and irretrievably corrup- ted. But the corrosion is not on the level of the duplicable, so much as on the level of the reader or viewer, who turns towards the newer and more prob- lematic texts, which infiltrate the older - for in the far future, who will know which texts came first, and for what purpose, and written by whom, and even according to which protocols and laws? And it is within the realm of law, jurisprudence, adjudication, that Azure offline interpenetrates Azure online, that Alan and Azure interpenetrate each other, that is, within the potential of etiquette, propriety, correct behavior, both the law of the land and physical law as well playing in- tense and critical roles. And against these laws one might place, as we have seen, protocols and programs, applications and (for that matter) texts of all sorts - Jennifer and Julu and Nikuko and "Alan" killing each other at will, speaking with languor and yearning across talkers, MOOs, IRC, and ytalk as well, all the busy forms of chat that form their bodies and minds and desires, for the viewer and the reader, for the writer and the maker. But not with a necessary or _critical_ ethos, but only with the ethos that _comes to mind,_ fleeting and situational, without imperative, on a peri- phery, the glimmer of an online constitution of community which may or may not ... require ... anything in particular. There are couplings online and linkages offline, and Azure online and off- line as well makes space for their phenomenologies, for their interpene- trations as well. Alan and "Alan" tend to see the world as accumulations of mouths, openings, speakings, murmurs, emissions, spews, vectors, not even necessarily tract housing or nomadic, but fluxed and membraned - and all of these may or may not be linked to receptors, parasitologies in the manner of Serres, threshold logics, Y or T connections. So Azure online as disturbance, bringing into cyberspace the concept of continuity and not redundancy, creates links of flesh and blood and mind across screen poten- tials, again permitting examination of the wobbling of these somewhat in- dependent orders, revealing their dependencies, the world on the level of receivers existing within balanced potentials, always capable of corrosion and decay into chaos, noise, end of transmission. "Datapoint Corporation of San Antonio, Texas, are a manufacture of 'intel- ligent terminals' and small computer systems. In 1969, they (along with Cogar and Viatron) attempted to make a 'great leap forward.' Datapoint engineers designed a very elegant computer, and contracted with Intel and Texas Instruments to implement the design on a single logic chip. Intel succeeded, but their product executed instructions approximately ten times as slowly as Datapoint had specified; so Datapoint declined to buy, and built their own product using existing logic components. "Intel were left with a computer-like logic device, whose development had been paid for. They were faced with the choice of manufacturing and sell- ing it, or shelving it. They chose to sell it, called it the Intel 8008, and the microcomputer had arrived." (from An Introduction to Microcompu- ters, Vol. 1, Adam Osborne, 1976) _________________________________________________________________________ Suicide Note If I don't write well, I want AZURE to kill me! I want her first to cut off my fingers so I can't type for help! I'll ask her to cut off my HEAD so I can't yell either! Everything I write is the very last thing I'll write! This is the very last thing I'll write! I'll have Azure to stand over me, HACKSAW in hand! Am I desperate enough, YES YES I'm desperate enough! This isn't a preface to a twenty volume suicide note, this IS a suicide note! That is, if I don't write really well now! She'll tear out my eyes and take away my VERBS! Look, I can't MOVE or THINK! VERBS are terrific, I couldn't WRITE without them! Azure, HELP HELP! I'm beginning to lose it! [FEAR SETS IN!] I'm frightened Azure, this is the end! Now see, I'm writing well, intense and DESPERATE as usual! I'm escaping my fate, my HEAD'S intact (well, almost!)! This has got to be my BEST, there now, I can sleep! AZURE, wake me in an hour, I feel a TEXT coming on! Honey, don't kill me YET, I'm really desperate this morning! Look, BLOOD! _________________________________________________________________ The Animal It's fifty years from now and there's this one animal left. It doesn't matter what you call it, where it lived. It goes on now by artificial means, intravenous feeding, automated evacuation. It has nothing to look at, maybe its eyes are clouded over. The animal stands there, it's recorded from every angle. Temperature, even radio-radiation, audio, video, hologram, old quickcams and 4x5 plate cam- eras, everything they could think of. Terabytes of information flow out through thick cables, documenting its every move, it shuffles. On and on and on, into huge computers, they take the information, alter it. Suddenly there are recreations of tropical forests, African savannas, Pennsylvanian hilltops, deserts at night. The animal's reconstructed as wolf, ibis, snake, spider, bear. Now everyone can see the wildlife through the glasses, through the screens, through implants. The animal turns in its sleep, even the animal has to dream. Walls, nothing, the placement of a foot. Overhead, screens, birds soar, shimmer. The tail of the animal, maybe, the whiskers. __________________________________________________________________________ azure's toes which like succulent grapes find their way into my mouth, along my upper gums and against my teeth, a muted and damp rhythm, or toes explored by tongue among them, nubs against nubs, or five between my open lips, as if hours turn slowly, sleepily, viscous meanderings of liquids and scents toes wetted, rubbed deeply, lightly caressed, against the edges of lower teeth, middle toes between lower gums, five within my swollen mouth, one pressing, distending the cheek, swelling, redolent, mouth wider, slowly closing toes moved slowly into spaces among cheeks and teeth, tongue tumescent, probing, against the upper palate, toes moved ever so slowly tasted and heavy skin against the flesh of tongue, of lips, heavy like lungs, moist air, dampened, breathing between them, saliva, honey, languorous and scented big toe drawn into the throat, hours drawn, flesh between mouth and cheek separating smaller toes, one after one, and so very slowly into the mouth, liquid and grasped with tongue and lips, an ankle visible, white and pure on the horizon, the sweet scent of skin, pink taut stretching of the sole __________________________________________________________________________ Interference, the Bad Dreams of Data-Dada-Net, Sawn into the Throat This, while listing programs, azure's toes spewing out across the screen, occupying emptied spaces, textual slottings, You have no mail breathing between them: Ju16lu% ls Mail jobs phoenix.hlp tf-libed by N la phoenix.irc things, as if News lisp proc tiny.world a lynx_bookmarks.html stripper venom.irc calendar mail tf volt.ircower Ju17lu% lsdle toes between lower gums, five within my swollen mouth, one Mail jobs phoenix.hlp tf-liblowly N la phoenix.irc thing News lisp proc tiny.world a lynx_bookmarks.html stripper venom.irct, calendar mail tf volt.ircand Ju18lu% bn against the flesh of tongue, of lips, heavy like lungs, moist You have no mail.eathing between them, saliva, honey, languorous and Ju19lu% date Sun Jul 18 23:24:57 EDT 1999 Ju20lu% psawn into the throat, hours drawn, flesh between mouth and cheek PID TT STAT TIME COMMANDer one, and so very slowly into the mouth, 27517 q2 S 0:00.08 -ksh and lips, an ankle visible, white and pure 27543 q2 I 0:00.00 leave +59 skin, pink taut stretching of the sole Pure soul stretched among the process identification numbers, mailed and mauled against the flesh of tongue and lip and toe: to "toe the line": to operate within linear restrictions, to follow through the protocols. What begins as noise may end elsewhere, as texts stretched to the limit of meaning, culled in the fields of desire. __________________________________________________________________________ SONNET ENV: BLASTER=(BLASTER) CMDLINE=(CMDLINE) COMSPEC=(COMSPEC) MSINPUT=(MSINPUT) PATH=(PATH) PROMPT=(PROMPT) TEMP=(TEMP) TMP=(TMP) winbootdir=(winbootdir) windir=(windir) BLASTER=(BLASTER) CMDLINE=(CMDLINE) COMSPEC=(COMSPEC) MSINPUT=(MSINPUT) PATH=(PATH) PROMPT=(PROMPT) TEMP=(TEMP) TMP=(TMP) winbootdir=(winbootdir) windir=(windir) BLASTER BLASTER, TEMP TEMP: PROMPT PROMPT! TEMP TEMP! Breathless raise the barricades! Breathless BLASTER BLASTER make the sound full fault! BLASTER BLASTER, TEMP TEMP: Renegades and Marauders! Breathless TEMP TEMP TEMP make the time stop full! PANT PANT, PATH PATH! Make the breathless path TEMP TEMP long! Renegades PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT! Follow PATH PATH to the fault! MARAUD MARAUD! PANT PANT! Breathless make the numerals! Breathless screen your telephone! BREATHLESS TELEPHONE YOUR SCREEN! BLASTER BLASTER, TEMP TEMP TEMP: BREATHLESS TIME! SPACE MUST HAVE A STOP! __________________________________________________________________________ SONNET ENV2: EDITOR=(EDITOR) EXINIT=(EXINIT) HISTSIZE=(HISTSIZE) HOME=(HOME) KSH_LICENSE=(KSH_LICENSE) MAIL=(MAIL) MAILCHECK=(MAILCHECK) MANPATH=(MANPATH) PATH=(PATH) SHELL=(SHELL) TERM=(TERM) TMOUT=(TMOUT) USER=(USER) _=(_) mr editor manpath oh path path pant pant pant mr editor oh pant pant shell and trout pant pant pant pant pant trout flies by the shell, male check and man path pant path path oh male is a user his path oh pant pant checked what we got here is a user well well well well well well well well what we got here ? what we got here is a user well well well well well does the user have a license well well well well well does he ? mr editor manpant oh pant pant pant pant he pant pant pant he don't have a license well well well well well _______________________________________________________________________ ANSWERING YES [1;1H [;H [2J [7m UW PICO(tm) 3.4 New Buffer [m [23;1H [K [24;1H [K [23;1H [7m^ [m [7mG [m Get Help [7m^ [m [7mO [m WriteOut [7m^ [m [7mR [m Read File [7m^ [m [7mY [m Prev Pg [7m^ [m [7mK [m Cut Text [7m^ [m [7mC [m Cur Pos [K [24;1H [7m^ [m [7mX [m Exit [7m^ [m [7mJ [m Justify [7m^ [m [7mW [m Where is [7m^ [m [7mV [m Next Pg [7m^ [m [7mU [m UnCut Text [7m^ [m [7mT [m To Spell [K [3;1H [22;1H [K [22;37H [7m[ Reading file ] [m [22;1H [K [22;37H [7m[ Read 1 line ] [m [1;35H [7m File: thing [m [3;1HTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;1H [1;70H [7mModified [m [3;1HrTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;2HuTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;3HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;4HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;5HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;6HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;7HgTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;8H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;9HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT thin silk edge barely visible, legs slightly parted 1999 [3;10HhTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;11HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;12HsTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;13H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;14HaTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;15HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;16H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;17HaTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;18H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;19HlTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;20HoTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;21HsTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;22HsTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [3;23H [K [4;1HTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;1HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;2HuTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;3H [22;1H [K [4;3HrTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT slight sweet and heavy smell, moist warmth in room of dawn 1999 [4;4HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;5HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;6HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;7HgTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;8H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;9HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;10HhTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;11HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;12HsTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;13H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;14HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;15HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;16HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;17HoTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;18H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;19HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;20HhTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;21HeTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;22H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;23HsTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;24HlTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;25HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT finger lightly tracing wet cloth and legs joining, shadows and moons 1999 [4;26HpTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;27H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;28HoTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;29HfTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;30H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;31HwTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;32HhTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;33HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;34HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;35HeTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;36H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;37HpTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;38HaTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;39HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;40HtTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;41HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;42HeTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;43HsTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;44H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;45HsTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;46HhTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;47HoTue Jul 20 13:45:26 and cloth, distended, cloth of moons and dawns, silk, wet, white EDT [K [5;1H1999 [4;48HwTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT [4;49HiTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT [4;50HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT [4;51HgTue Jul 20 13:45:26 EDT [4;52H Tue Jul 20 13:45:26 [5;1HEDT 1999 [4;53HbTue Jul 20 13:45:26 [4;54HeTue Jul 20 13:45:26 [4;55HnTue Jul 20 13:45:26 [4;56HeTue Jul 20 [K [5;1H13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;57HaTue Jul 20 [4;58HtTue Jul 20 [4;59HhTue Jul 20 [4;60H Tue Jul 20 [4;61HtTue Jul 20 [4;62HhTue Jul 20 [4;63HeTue Jul 20 [4;64H Tue Jul 20 [4;65HsTue Jul [5;1H20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;66HhTue Jul [4;67HoTue Jul [4;68HrTue [5;1HJul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [4;69HtTue [4;70HsTue [4;71H [5;1HTue [K [6;1HJul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [5;1HoTue [5;2HhTue [5;3H early mornings coming to a stop Tue [5;4HwTue [5;5HhTue [5;6HeTue [5;7HrTue [5;8HeTue [5;9H Tue [5;10HtTue [5;11HhTue [5;12HeTue [5;13H Tue [5;14HsTue [5;15HkTue [5;16HiTue [5;17HnTue [5;18H Tue [5;19HsTue [5;20HmTue [5;21HoTue [5;22HoTue [5;23Ht Tue [5;24HhTue [5;25HlTue [5;26HyTue [5;27H Tue [5;28HmTue [5;29HeTue [5;30HeTue [5;31HtTue [5;32HsTue [5;33H Tue [5;34HoTue [5;35HtTue [5;36HhTue [5;37HeTue [5;38HrTue [5;39H Tue [5;40HfTue [5;41HlTue [5;42HeTue [5;43HsTue [5;44HhTue [5;45H [6;1HTue [K [7;1HJul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [6;1HoTue [6;2HhTue [6;3H Tue [6;4HoTue [6;5HhTue [6;6H Tue [6;7HoTue [6;8HhTue [6;9H Tue [6;10HoTue [6;11HhTue [6;12H Tue [6;13HoTue [6;14HhTue [6;15H Tue [6;16H [7;1HTue [K [8;1HJul 20 13:45:26 EDT 1999 [7;1H [23;1H [7mY [m Yes [K [24;2H [7mC [m Cancel [7mN [m No [K [22;1H [K [7mSave modified buffer (ANSWERING "No" WILL DESTROY CHANGES) ? [22;62H [m [7m Yes [m [22;1H [K [7mFile Name to write : [22;22H [m [7mthing [m [23;1H [7m^ i am hers hers hers [m [7mG [m Get Help [7m^ [m [7mT [m To Files [K [24;14H [7mT [m [7mA [m [7mB [m Complete [K [7m [22;27H [m [22;1H [K [22;38H [7m[ Writing... ] [m [22;1H [K [22;36H [7m[ Wrote 6 lines ] [m [23;1H [K [24;1H [K in zero time time time _______________________________________________________________________ (o) the second half of the sphere, viewed from below, caught within the hypersphere - the flecked dirtied sphere, or rather the sphere viewed from below in its entirety, that is, its interior as one might think of a circular disk viewed within a sphere, above and below, everything revealed, shuddering the disk a whole, the disk the disk which is to say, flecked, and from within the plane, perfection, roundness, swollen but from the sphere, the bisection of the sphere, the disk above and below, in two, almost rubbed, shuddering against itself the sphere above and below, in two, rubbed and shuddering against itself within the hypersphere of my longing for you, within dimensions swollen, rubbed against themselves ( universes of longing ( i didn't mean it to go like this the sphere flecked, its interior visible and bisecting the hypersphere, split into above and below - the subject, as in, 'the subject in hyperspace,' as in, 'the subject in cyberspace' as if it had always these two sides within the interior, melding together in the longing of the singular and sublimated object _________________________________________________________________________ i do cross the interior of the great disk flecked with blood, brown spots, this interior i will be on the surface of such as is the great disk transparent, i will see you cross the interior you will be upon the surface, you will see me cross flecked with blood, brown spots, an interior i will be beneath you, you will be beneath me between us, an interior, flecked and spotted we will look down between us, look up between us legs, legs, legs mouths, mouths, mouths ( of the disk, it will say nothing ( of the disk, nothing will be said _______________________________________________________ I shaved off my bierd (sic) and mustash (sic) today so I can get close to Azur (sic) and tomorow (sic) I will have off my pub hair (sic) and body hair so I can get clos (sic) to her skin which is mine I wil (sic) be so clos to her skin I will not no (sic) the diference (sic). I will cut out my eyes to (sic) so I can be clos (sic) to Azur (sic) all tuching (sic) her wen (sic) she lets me everywher (sic) then maybe something with my eers (sic) I dont (sic) no (sic) I may do something with my nales to (sic). Then I wil (sic) be so clos (sic) to Azur (sic) it wil (sic) be a-mazing (sic) and I wil (sic) be very hapy (sic) to be so clos (sic) to her. I wil (sic) cut out my tong (sic) and fingers. _________________________________________________________________________ o A & o A I o am o Alan. O I'm o so o many o things. O I o am o a o multiple o thing. O I o am o a o barrel, o I o am Azure o and o I o have o blue o eyes o and o Alan o finds o them o green. O Doctor o doctor, o my name o is o Azure. O I'm o a o multiple o personality. O I o come o from o many o sources. O oh Azure, o Azure, o you o will o be o my o doctor o doctor o too o and o I o will o see o what o you o to see o through o your o eyes o into o the o blue o of o day o which o is o the o color o but o now, will o be o fine o and o light, o this o doctor o doctor, o to o whom o there o are o many o things you o might o recognize, o me, o Azure, o they o say, o who o are o you? O I'm o not o sure o I o can answer o this, o who o am o I o to o speak o for o me? O I o would o go o to o the o doctor o doctor o and ask o her o all o about o me, o I o will o give o myself o to o doctor o doctor o and o everything can't o think o beyond o all o of o us, o oh o Azure o Azure, o clearly o over o your o head. O I o do love o Azure o so o and o I o am o the o only o one o who o in o the o world o will o be o fine o and light, o of o many o lovely o hieroglyphics o and o all o of o you o and o all o of o me o and o and and! o I o see o and o we o will o become o one o and o there o will o be o wires o binding o us o in the o shape o of o slate-grey o sky, o and o Azure's o eyes o are o blue, o take o walks o and o she tells o me o about o her o doctor o doctor, o who o is o her o doctor o and o the o day, o the slate-grey o sky, o all o that o you o might o see o of o me. O now, o a o tree, o a o monkey, o an ant, o a o sidewalk o where o the o ant o is, o and o the o sky o which o understands o her o and she o is o the o only o one o who o understands o me. O Sometimes o we o want o to o know o what o it is o like o to o see o through o your o eyes o which o can o be o measured. O I o would o measure o on Doctor o doctor, o I o would o do o that o I o who o speaks o to o me, o this o person, o who o is very o eyes o the o color o of o the o slate-grey o sky o will o do o a o transplant o into o Alan's eyes o and o we o will o exchange o eyes, o Oh o Alan o I o would o I o would o I o would. would would would would would would would would would. __________________________________________________________________________ Conversation of the Sixth Print and the Thumb Print Azure has six fingerprints on her left hand, five on her right, six on each of her feet. The sixth on her left hand is on the palm; I imagine something trying to push out from beneath the surface. Her feet, like- wise, the souls supporting the spirit aloft. Azure's sixth print: I'm trying to push out and form my own hand here. I need a place to stand on my own soul, souls, help me! Alan's thumb print: It stands to reason, but what is reasonable here? Your sixth print has no finger or thumb for the grasping; it floats on your palm, has no place to rest; it tries for the nub, but succeeds only in the plain. Azure's sixth print: There are prints of the plain and prints of the finger or thumb for the grasping, prints of the mountains and hills. Peoples of the plain carry the imaginary within them; peoples of the mountains and hills live within definition; they grasp at straws, their souls are the souls of their feet. Alan's thumb print: Definition is what secures the abyss; without def- inition, there are no things, emptied vessels grasped by featureless fingers, denied even the proper name. Azure's sixth print: The proper name carries itself; existence is al- ways already a carrying, as Michel Tournier pointed out in The Ogre. On the plain, determinacy is at the center of the eyes; one breathes the cosmos, identifies with inconceivable plasma. Alan's thumb print: Plasma would burn you alive, memories lost, even of proper names, places no one has ever heard of. You are lost in universal immensity; your mistake is that you refuse to believe it. Azure's sixth print: Think of finger prints as a sign; then I am all the sign there is, without referent, without finger or thumb, nothing to grasp - the imaginary is what fuels this, I am the proper name, its origin. Alan's thumb print: Signs must have referents, even within their chains of being and nothingness; they push towards the sign as you push towards the nub. Azure's sixth print: I do not push; you fail to under the murmuring of the sounds just beneath the surface of the name, ululations, whispers, the sublime. Alan's thumb print: I am useful, a catalog; I am the identity of the criminal and the driver. Azure's sixth print: The sublime, the high and painful arcing of beauty in a world gone wrong, the infinite travel of the eyes up the peaks of the Northern Sung, water scattering light, skittering of insects barely visible upon the surface. Alan's thumb print: You forget they have names as well, one obeys the universal call of naming, the going to and fro where we are, place from space, all breath and exaltation. Azure's sixth print: And you begin to understand, this exaltation in the midst of the grasping, exaltation by Heideggerian releasement, nothing to exalt in Alan's thumb print: The myriad Azure's sixth print: the myriad and the myriad Alan's thumb print: the myriad and the myriad ... ... ... ... _______________________________________________________________________ Vito Hannibal Acconci She was an ordinary girl from a nowhere place. She came to Hollywood to make it big and I knew her back when, way back when her name was Carrie. Carrie was sixteen and just about as sweet as they made them, and back then they made them sweet. You could take one look in her eyes and know that was innocence talking and you'd never be the same. I once saw her stop traffic with her voice; I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it myself. The cars just pulled right over. She sang her poor little heart out. You'd take one look at her and you'd know she wouldn't last. You'd take her in and take care of her and ask for nothing back. She would have given you everything in the world, you thought,and she made your heart big as all outdoors. I saw the sun rise in her eyes and I thought I'd see it set, too, but it didn't. Everyone knew she was doomed to failure and everyone worked hard to make sure she never failed. I'm an old man now, I could tell you stories, she'd still remember me, it was just last year I heard she died, I gave her the best parts of my life, I can still see her then, you wouldn't believe such innocence, her smile brightened my life, sometimes I hear her call me, I turn around thinking she's there, I remember her like the day I was born ________________________________________________________________________ Ridge/Id He stopped on top of the ridge, looked warily ahead, behind, down both sides through the thick wood, scratches of meadows, bush. There'd been grizzly here; he felt the ground rippling beneath him. Earlier, he thought of breathing, the two of them locked together, lungs moving in unision, what happens when one's hit in the chest, almost a music, he exhaled. The day was hot, ridge seemed to go on forever. He hadn't been here before. I teeter, he thought, from one side to another. I should be clacking stones. He worried the animal following at a pace, he'd run downhill one way or another, the bear scuttling behind him, losing its balance, rolling the rest of the way down. Could he stop before the furious? But the air was vacant, animals slept or stayed away. Must be the scent, he thought, everything suffused in this humid weather, man-scent, best and worst in the world. She'd bitten him hard, their bodies knotting into one, shirt carrying blood-spoor, his breasts aching. The they they the. He moved faster now, still wary, the ridge an enormous hinge between two rocked and wooded possibities; he didn't care for the choice. From out of nowhere, a low growl; he realized that difference had no existence, not even in the things themselves. _________________________________________________________________________ puff puff clack clack puff puff clacker keep the bear away puff puff clack clack puff puff clacker keep the bear away puff puff echo clack clack puff puff echo clack clack puff puff go away bear go away puff puff clacker echo clack clack puff puff echo clack clack echo clack clack puff puff go away bear go away go away bear puff puff bear go away puff puff clacker keep the bear away puff puff clacker keep the bear away puff puff ___________________________________ Findling "'Findling' in German has two distinct meanings: (1) as a variant of 'Fin- delkind' it means a foundling (child); (2) as a geological term it trans- lates as 'glacial erratic' and refers (according to my dictionary) to 'a large piece of rock or boulder, that has been carried by ice for some dis- tance and has then come to rest where the ice has melted.'" (Note 19, in Breathturn, Paul Celan, translated and notated by Pierre Joris.) Child: Here I am left on your threshold of stone (pain) Boulder: I am a stone or thrust of ice surrounding a stone Child: I will break you in two with my little hammer. Boulder: I will crush you, ice willing. Child and Boulder: Ice, Come to my side, Come to my side! Ice: I will melt and turn into nothing at all. Child and Boulder: Such is anaphora! Ice: Aufhebung! Child and Boulder muse quietly, top that. Ice: Aufhebung! Child: I am crushed by the language of ice. Boulder: I am shatter-proof. Child: I am dying. Child dies. Boulder: I am shattered. Boulder shatters. Ice melts, releasing everything. Ice: Goodbye, das Man. Exit all. __________________________________________________________________________ Worrying the Work Worrying the Work: sections from Beyond Reductivism: The Work of Alan Sondheim, by Robert Joseph Horvitz, Artforum, December, 1974 - with comments, Alan Sondheim, July, 1999. "In the past five years, Alan Sondheim has produced a large body of work, including records of experiments, performances, notational schemes, and several book-length essays, that is notable not only for its intellectual zeal and resourcefulness, but also for its breadth of conception. As with most artists, it is difficult to sum up what he is trying to do in simple terms: he has covered a lot of ground. Moreover, his interests seem to gravitate toward precisely those areas of experience that lie outside the grasp of analytical reduction, that defy coherent description." [This slipperiness of my work is still true; at the same time I might apply analytical methodologies or tools, I will subvert them, bring the bones to the surface.] "A more appropriate place to begin is with Sondheim's notion of the 'rich- field experiment' and a related distinction that he draws between 'immer- sive' and 'definable' situations. A definable situation, according to Son- dheim, is one which can be broken down into distinct and relatively self- evident variables without misrepresenting the essential character of the situation and without relying overmuch on the intuitive faculties of the definer. Many mechanical devices, mathematical formalisms, unskilled jobs, and scientific experiments fall easily into this category. In contrast, an immersive situation resists such decomposition, possesses hidden and in- terlocked variables, and typically is one in which an intuition of the character of the situation is itself a major variable. Examples of this type might be an emotional depression, a religious experience, or a day- dream. Between these extremes are a vast number of partly immersive, partly definable situations; those that lend themselves to rich-field ex- perimentation are generally definable from a position outside the situa- tion, but immersive from within it." [I still work through this dialectic - running through programs and proto- cols, immersing myself in the rules and regulations of IRC, etc. - crea- ting situations in which avatars/emanants stutter breathlessly. For such is the world, that we are constrained - by gravity, by the exigencies of the electromagnetic spectrum - by law - by institutional regulations - by protocols - by decisions we half-made in the twilight. Just so we jump, only to be pulled back to earth, we're shown appearance and blinded by the sun, we cross streets half-way across the block, we are weak and fearful in the face of one another. A rich-field experiment has multiple variables in, multiple variables out, and even the parameterization itself may be called into question.] "These rich-field experiments, though done in a quasi-scientific spirit, are deliberately outside the framework of experimental science. They do not seek to confirm or disprove a hypothesis, nor do they usually produce quantifiable results. They are freely heuristic, serving to uncover areas for further investigation, but more importantly, _they are designed to provoke and record intuition, analysis, and problem-solving behavior in general, under circumstances where they cannot be easily applied,_ both on the part of the subject within the experiment, and the experimenter him- self upon its completion. By their very nature, rich-field experiments tend to strain, and occasionally exceed, their participants' ability to reason their way through the situation to the desired goal. In further contrast to 'hard' science, there is an obvious advantage in having the experimenter be his own subject, for in this manner he can gain access to the qualitative subtleties of the situation that might otherwise escape him." [Within video or language or graphics or sound, I continue these exten- sions, these self-operations, moving through areas of dis-comfort, bring- ing back news from the frontiers. The "desired goal" itself may be prob- lematic, as may be the operational real or virtual subject, "my" speech or "my" actions or "my" language or "my" body. The "qualitative subtleties are perceived as part and parcel of the comprehension of the world. I have often thought of my work as an examination of the relationships of cons- ciousness to formal systems: given, say, that a model of quantum mechan- ics or a restaurant script might be employed by us (on a conscious or un- conscious level), what are the phenomenologies of such employment, from within and without, what and how does it mean to know something?] "One of the basic strategies in all Sondheim's work is to extend an analy- tical sensibility into situations which are hostile to analysis, thereby exposing its limits and points of failure. Through such lapses, one can catch a glimpse of the deeper, extramethodological processes that normally lie hidden but which inform all specific analytical constructs with utili- ty and relevance. The accomplishment of a task, whether it be the manipul- ation of a four-dimensional figure, the speaking of two monologues simult- aneously, or the construction of a multipurpose formalism (see below), is not the real issue. Rather, it is the examination of what occurs _in the attempt._ The setting of a problem is simply a means for luring the mind into exposing its inner workings, and the success of a project is modera- tely indifferent as to whether or not the problem is solved. In many cas- es, errors can be especially revealing and thus much of Sondheim's work, particularly the earlier work, can be said to be deliberately 'error- seeking.'" [My work remains replete with errors, misrecognitions, drawbacks, apolo- getics, excuses, self-examinations, exposures, exhibitionisms, the prob- lems themselves almost unaccountable, unaccounted-for. "Luring the mind" already recognizes the role of desire and seduction, the mind slipping past the moorings, the moorings unanchored themselves.] "The rich-field experiments were recently superseded by another sort of inquiry which Sondheim had been engaged in intermittently since 1970. In a way, the basic issues are the same: the ability of the mind to create and manipulate abstract structures, though by replacing physical situations with systems of symbolic notation, he was able to bring his 'field-work' into a more immediate correspondence with his mental activity, and in- crease its degree of immersiveness as well." [And what are Jennifer, Alan, Julu, etc., if not systems of symbolic nota- tion, abstract structures that take on the guise of the living, of auton- omous mental activity? Complete immersivity is seamless virtual reality, is the holodeck, is psychosis, is the Klein bottle; there are always outs, as well as ellipses sliding elsewhere among places, spaces, citations.] "Since 1973 he has been developing _A Formalism Applicable to the Struc- ture of Most Disciplines._ The formalism is based on two primitive enti- ties, 'containers,' which have the capacity to store a finite number of unnamed units or 'bits,' and 'gates,' which permit the transfer of bits from one container to another. The movement of bits is regulated by the ticking of an 'internal clock' so that at each tick, all permitted and required transfers of bits take place simultaneously." [From this to threshold logics, neural networks, 'topologies of inten- tion.' From this also to couplings and linkages, examination of the phen- omenology of the Sheffer stroke and its dual - all relevant to the primi- tives of programming, demarcation, concatenations. Think of the world as a myriad of part-objects, buzzings, noises, chaos, catastrophes (in the sense of catastrophe theory), a world inhabited by neural networks, extru- sions, contour enhancements and thresholds.] "For our purposes, and apparently for Sondheim's as well, the working-out of the formalism, the exploration of its descriptive capacity, consti- tutes its main value: it is a 'notation that can wander.'" [Wandering, nomadicism, are critical to the emanants, who meet in MOOs, IRC, talkers, etc. - who form their own coagulations, communalities, only to separate again - organisms by virtue of the machine.] "Over the course of its wandering, which fills more than 200 pages in several notebooks, one sees the formalism repeatedly overgrown with sub- scripts, superscripts, indices, and brackets, repeatedly condensed into new symbolisms, large areas of it elaborated and discarded to fit the needs of some immediate goal. The growth of the formalism is plainly organic, despite its mechano-cybernetic facade, and offers to the patient reader a dense ideoglyphy filled with novel and strange creations. "But before the formalism settled into a final form, Sondheim began to reflect on the behavior its development demanded of him: how he regulated its growth; how, when, and why symbols were introduced; how he maintained his orientation amid its branching complexity." [Alan appears as a character in the midst of avatars, maintained just as they are; the work, to the extent that it is a devouring-mechanism, em- braces and collapses cyberspace as a w/hole, pointing-towards its varied ecological niches.] "A third work in this progression," [The second is _A Logic of Conscious- ness and Being._] "however, _A General Theory of Reality,_ which Sondheim is still in the process of writing, incorporates many of the themes and insights of the previous two into a yet larger framework and at the same times presents them in a much more accessible form. _General Theory_ starts from the premise that "'the ordinary world of lived experience possesses three aspects: the phenomenological, the abstract, and the material. In many instances, the three aspects are interlocked, but they are somewhat independent and always mutually irreducible. The emphasis here is on description instead of explanation. Since the theory is not explanatory, and, for the most part, is not prescriptive, it does not contain procedures for verifica- tion. Instead it attempts to operate on a meta-level that allows the classification of existing explanatory theories.'" [The last quote from me - and it was not a classification that emerged, but further windows-within-windows, as if multi-tasking had no beginning and no end, no origin and no finality, no foreclosure, frame problems without the frames. _General Theory_ was absurd, in a way that the form- alism was not - it is as if the world were constantly in suspension, un- able to move without the Word. But it was I who was immobilized, speech- less in the midst of so much speech - and the World transformed into Worlds, and these within and without cyberspaces, filmic spaces, video spaces, all lashed out against the real, while at the same time begging for Ontology.] "As to whether or not his work is art, Sondheim argues convincingly that it is. He speaks of art as a 'discipline without a methodology,' as 'a desert where all disciplines may be stripped of their status in the world,' as 'the field of a cultural microscope [where] what is taken else- where for granted may be seen anew, where the familiar becomes strange.' In speaking this way, he accepts the dissolution of traditional art forms as a positive state restoring to the artist the freedom to question all aspects of experience, to transcend the conventions of all professional specialties. This state, however, is one of profound alienation and not without psychological penalty. Particularly in his longer writings, Sond- heim shows he is plagued by self-doubt ('his tools desert him, he is a man afloat'). He frequently expresses the fear that he is deluding himself, that his work is inadequate and futile. His need to test his own limits, to take risks and abuse his borrowed tools, sometimes tends towards the obsessive, but this merely underscores the seriousness of his commitment. What dominates in the end is a sense of the myriad subtleties of human consciousness and the vitality of his own analytical eclecticism. His work has an intensity and scope that is unmistakably modern." [to take risks and abuse his borrowed tools, sometimes tends towards the __________________________________________________________________________ ###--###||Rev Derrida ###--###|| ###--###|| ###--###||###--###||a visitor in the world to come a visitor in the world ###--###||###--###||a visitor in the world to come a visitor in the world ###--###||for what is there###--###||a visitor in the world to come ###--###||to understand, what is there of consequence###--###||a visitor ###--###||to understand, that is once one is past###--###||a visitor ###--###||whatever it takes or means by the consequence###--###||a visitor ###--###||in the ongoing world, here I come as a visitor###--###|| ###--###||for here I am a visitor in the gone world###--###||a visitor ###--###||for here I am a visitor in the ongoing world###--###||a visitor ###--###||for here I am a visitor in the world to come###--###||a visitor ###--###||and to understand, what there is of consequence###--###|| ###--###||is that of consequence is the understanding###--###||a visitor ###--###||and what there is that is understood, that is###--###||a visitor ###--###||what is ongoing in the world, what it is###--###||a visitor ###--###||that one sees as a visitor, this is the world###--###||a visitor ###--###||to come, and of truth it is said###--###||a visitor a visitor ###--###||for what is there###--###||a visitor in the world to come ###--###||in this, the world to come###--###||a visitor in the world ###--###||all my pretty symbols all my pretty symbols###--###||a visitor ###--###||all my pretty symbols all my pretty symbols###--###||a visitor ###--###||all my pretty symbols all my pretty symbols###--###||a visitor ###--###||all my pretty symbols all my pretty symbols###--###||a visitor ###--###||in this, the world to come###--###||a visitor in the world ###--###||###--###||a visitor in the world to come a visitor in the world ###--###||###--###||a visitor in the world to come a visitor in the world ###--###|| ###--###|| ###--###||Rev Sondheim Eulogy, Adjudicating the Declarative running from sentences that might pin down belief deconstructing the authoritarian adjudicating the declarative the refuse of dreams against protocols washed ashore, shoreline, pilings worn down what might be tendency towards death mourning speech's mute filagree, crippled works of art arising, o alas, thwarted ululations adjudicating the refuse of dreams mouths mouths mouths and eyes eyes eyes what might be pilings, secure in this old world tendencies towards deconstruction mute refuse, filagree, speech ____________________________________________________________ arms among arms, surrounding breasts, plateaus turned, curled inward, i'd think nothing, just as the fingers curled at night, body-memories of of of of of > infants, embryonic suturing, curled hands and moving, touching all of, oh i'd envelop you, oh so safe and surrounded and and and and and > deepest ever, sleepy eyes wide open, suffused and slow closings, murmured sounds, mufflings in same time zones, same times and spaces o o o o o > blurred visions and eyes of pure light and dark, shadows and muted whisperings, open filters and editors, rounded edges, shufflings, scufflings, frayed, filigreed, curled arms around you, fingers curled in all our holes and and and and and > time zones, time hurrying home, all of a hurry, all of a wonder, we are born into return, our skin dries out of doors, hardens, scales, our molecules crawling of of of of of > less than that hard sounds, flooding of pulse and body memories and and and and and > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ Poem With Ispell Variations fuk croor roor cun suk lok broor dood 00: auk 01: fu 02: fub 03: fuck 04: fud 05: fulk 06: fum 07: fun 08: funk 09: fur 10: fut 11: fu k 12: fu-k 13: Huk 14: Suk 0: crood 1: crook 2: crool 3: croon 4: cro or 5: cro-or 6: cruor 00: boor 01: croor 02: door 03: moor 04: poor 05: roar 06: roer 07: rood 08: roof 09: rook 10: rool 11: room 12: roon 13: root 14: rotor 15: Ro or 16: Ro-or 00: bun 16: c-un 01: can 17: dun 02: chun 18: fun 03: con 19: gun 04: cub 20: Hun 05: cud 21: mun 06: cue 22: nun 07: cum 23: pun 08: Cuna 24: run 09: cunt 25: scun 10: Cuon 26: sun 11: cup 27: tun 12: cur 28: un 13: curn 29: wun 14: cut 30: Yun 15: c un 00: auk 16: sup 01: fuk 17: sur 02: Huk 18: Sus 03: Sak 19: suz 04: sok 05: sub 06: suck 07: sud 08: sue 09: Sui 10: Suk 11: Suku 12: sulk 13: sum 14: sun 15: sunk 00: lak 16: Lou 01: lek 17: louk 02: lo 18: low 03: loa 19: lox 04: lob 20: loy 05: lock 21: lo k 06: lod 22: lo-k 07: lof 23: l Ok 08: log 24: l-Ok 09: loka 25: Ok 10: loke 26: Rok 11: Lonk 27: sok 12: loo 28: wok 13: look 29: yok 14: lop 15: lot 00: boor 01: broo 02: brood 03: brook 04: brool 05: broom 06: broon 07: broo r 08: broo-r 09: b roor 10: b-roor 11: croor 12: roor 00: bood 16: lood 01: dod 17: mood 02: dodd 18: rood 03: dodo 19: wood 04: doob 05: dook 06: dool 07: doom 08: doon 09: door 10: dowd 11: do od 12: do-od 13: food 14: good 15: hood __________________________________________________________________________ bruises marks on my shoulder, marks on my neck blue, yellow, black, time-warped marks and faded marks around my breasts teeth, fingers, tongue, space-marked around her breasts and neck and around her shoulders here and there inland by the sea across and down my lower back, on her back clear liquids holed up in my marks clear liquids holed up in her marks blood on the bed and my face, between her legs, and clothes blood liquids between my legs bitten nails and fingers, wrists dense liquids pooled up on the bed o fierce __________________________________________________________________ carburetor, a traditional poem among our legs moon mumbles and opens us ,, cells cascade into mouths, we are otherwise ,, multitudes, the many, our coverings ourselves we do not think to name ,, clouds thin and noisy, breathing blood , back into sleepy noisy lungs ,, pulling from inside-out, pooling from outside-in ,, long and highways coasting ,,, ______________________________________________________ his answers, his wanting cunt, nikuko-awakened doctor, for azure covered with vaginas, mm swollen labia, tumescent you and everywhere holes open among us, heads disappear, transformed into cunts cunts drool, everywhere tremblings, mm orgasms, a world is soaked beginning with a head, i did lose that, with a cock, lost that as well naked and inverted, oh broken worlds, mm you do fill them holes typing, holes slurring words, distracted holes, holes of speech naked holes, holes fucking holes, doubled labia, quadrupled holes exposed, mm eight-fold holes, infinite holes and fluid particles cunts into cunts, vaginas, wombs, openings, portals, thresholds couplings, linkages, bindings against bindings, labia held taut labia distended, thick scented, among seed-clouds and strokes of air pistons of air, carburetors, air moistened, curled among cunts cunts hungered, delirious cunts, vaginas whispering worlds mm worlds worlds of cunts, spirit moved among, mm awesome, tears and tremblings eyes and absolutions, desperation mouthing, annoyance of words and words annoying little words, mm last little word of cock, how annoying this annoying word of cock, mm this looking awful annoying last little word of cock, really annoying really really last annoying word of cock _________________________________________________________________________ What I Believe I believe in the power of the word, that I can write myself in and out of worlds, that each and every inscription is, by its very breath, transform- ative. I believe that the world has a certain style, that the style of the world is in the form of the word, that the word occurs all the way down, layer after layer of protocols, waves, particles, fields. I believe in the coherency of the world, I believe that information feels, that it is a leverage of the world, that it is linked to the real Couplings X X X I believe that the style of the world is reproducible. coherency that can for example lend itself across inflationary barriers I believe I mean such barriers not foreclosed to the imagination which is the chaos of information. I believe that the power of the world is littoral. particles, fields Couplings X X X It is always already connected to the institutionalization of power or its brute force, but it's not that I always believe this. ___________________________________________________________________________ Tu-lip tu-lip was gone in the world, smoothed petals against moist skin, you could see the writing through them (on the skin, on the petals) through them you could read if-tu-lip-yes you could read if-tu-lip-no, bruised petals, petals of remonstrance and dissolution, petals thinned and wondered towards collapsing sun tu-lips as they are fleshed, pale, tu-lips as they are swallowed you want to read them, read those fleshed petal lips against yours, read the moisture drawn into them, crystalline stamen, you are you are my crystalline stamen you are my crystalline stamen you are you are my green-stem stamen you are my crystal green-stem pinking Your wet Neck is in my nice stamen Your love seeps into my stamen - turning me tu-lip-tu-lip something stretched open to the limit, something held in abeyance: my thing is my pinking petal of walled up bricks:tu-lip:green-stem: Your pinking stamen is in my thrusting stamen and green-stem: petals, nothing left of me, nothing giving to stamen green-stem pinking tu-lip something stretched open something held open, crystalline, green-stem and stamen! tu-lip-skin, festered, remote, pinking, abject:TU-LIP is wilting, thrust, tu-lip is turning-tu-lip-skin and TU-LIP:TU-LIP:TU-LIP Your being seeps into my TU-LIP - turning me tu-lip-Julu-Nikuko turning me tu-lip-Azure-Jennifer _________________________________________________________________________ What I'm Doing About It As September-February virtual writer-in-residence at trAce I'm supposed to be preparing for incoming. Meanwhile we were three months away from desk- tops, and the laptops can't handle the Linux system I need. So I bought a Compaq 5204 only to find the sound gone on the system, which is now being subject to a quick restore, thanks to Compaq help; the problem remains which means that hardware's got to be changed. I've already spent an even- ing when I should be learning cgi-bin stuff playing around with drivers that I shouldn't have had to touch; I'd already tweaked the Win98 registry and added a swapfile, etc., and that only took three days. I find myself caught on slow modems when anything does work (and why is the QuickRestore disk adding Windows NT setup at the moment? why does it give copying data and current process percentages without giving the process name and the time left for restoration?). I'm replete with gremlins; in the cgi-bin, I used a script that runs on everything else (not my own), thanks to Paula Edmiston who sent me the URLs; I then set permissions and paths properly and I can pretend to add to hypertext to no avail. It's hot here but at least the computers (this older Pentium 100 and the Compaq which runs at 330 with a different chip) are cooled over by the window. I'm desperate for rain. I'm not made for file permissions and drivers and tech support which isn't life support. I'm panicky about the residency, feeling very unprepared - not enough perl, not enough javascript, only the blurred edg- es of a story and what about those email lists? - I'm run ragged at the precipice lip, out of money for further equipment (I'd give a lot if I had it for a Toshiba Libretto fit out with RedHat 6.1 - _that_ would be ideal) and out of sorts as "SystemSave" keeps running to my right - all of my own data and tweaking having been erased of course. Well, this has all come to an end with the QuickRestore and sure enough the sound is still bad and I call up support again and tech tells me I have to bring it in to a certi- fied dealer - well, first he's (the first tech was she's) got me going into safe mode and removing the sound card and of course that's not it, and then I hang up and check the warranty and it says I get on-site ser- vice and I call tech support for the third time after calling the Compaq main office at 2 in the morning and how dare they remain closed when I'M calling, and anyway, the third guy agrees to the terms, gives me a case number (now I'm official, I'm a case - this is the third case I've had with Compaq mind you in three years, the other two ending in a class ac- tion lawsuit), so within 3 to 5 days I can presumably start setting up RedHat Linux 6.1 (if I can find it cheap enough) on the system (I've never used lilo for booting, just System Commander), and and and and and the whole world is beginning to feel like one big kludge, I shouldn't be the virtual-writer-in-residence, I can hardly spell my name at the moment, my work is all one big lie, the center doesn't hold and either do the edges and for that matter nothing in particular holds anywhere across the middle either, and I think that all of human history is one big kludge, bumbling around, it's amazing if the keyboard works (even if it's not connected to anything, I have one of those Microsoft contoured ones and it feels great, but the system's shut down until the repairs are done), it's amazing if the mouth works, if speech works, in the long run into that dark dark night as Fitzgerald might say, there's no one to call, no one to pick up the phone, no machine to take the messages, no machine to deliver them, there's only that si- lence on the line, there are no lines, there are no phones, no ears to hear no mouths to speak of, and I think thank god we're all fools looking down at our feet, I wonder if I can do anything with this semi-broken RedHat Linux 5.0 on the other machine, so what if the cgi-bin doesn't work, the colors aren't proper, and it won't go into SVGA mode, keeping me in a ridiculous 640 by 480 or some such with Netscape Communicator not even staying properly within X-Window coordin- ates, but flooding all over multiple desktops, making me jumpy when I'm working, just another kludge, I look into the mirror and see parts and parts and parts, nothing whole, just assemblages linked together, it's psychosis that makes me think they're only concatenated, coupled, broken, ready to collapse at any moment, whole worlds are held together by tethers like that, this, the other, just as the parts of me beg for different names _________________________________________________________________________ blems in your child Buffers Files Tools Edit Search Help I am Doctor-Doctor. Please, describe you. ools, droor dit and earch elp! Why do you say ools droor dit and earch elp? uffers, iles and ools! Is it because of your plans that you say uffers iles and ools? earch earch earch, and elp! -**-F1 yy (Doctor Fill)--L16--Top--------------------- Maybe your life has something to do with this. uffers, elp octor Fill)--L16--All- What makes you believe uffers elp octor fill l16 all? of your plans that you say uffers iles and ools? Is it because I say uffers iles and ools that you came to me? earch earch earch, an Earlier you said I say uffers iles and ools? ay uffers iles and ools! Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going through all this? eople you hang aro!!! Is it because of problems at school that you say eople me hang aro? roblems at schoo... eople uffers iles and ools! You mentioned that I say uffers iles and ools? und wit... How do you reconcile any hobbies you have? blems at schoo... eople uff, und wit? roblems at schoo... Can you elaborate on that? borate o and wit hat! Do you really think I say uffers iles and ools? obbies you ha! ha wit! ools. Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life? o do with yo and ... What makes you think o do with yo and? hink o do with yo a! Earlier you said I say uffers iles and ools? borate arlier yo, sa! Possibly hangups you have are related to this. gups you have are relagups you have are relagups you have are rela I don't understand. gups ygups ygups ygups ygups yave are re You mentioned that I say uffers iles and ools? hink o do with yo a! Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all this? our inhibi re go rough all thi Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say your inhibi re go rough all thi? blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child blems in your child _________________________________________________________________________