tiniest new cell inside the mouth, doesn't know what's happening slight growth in convulsing body, cooling doesn't even recognize the lack of food, expulsions, sounds bright new cell, inside a bright new world doesn't know anything, body shutting down later, there's one right eye half-open i can look into her pupil, i don't remember blinking _ beneath the water, disturbances untethered, riggings liquid, the forms following, liquid shabby, shapeless, memory, unholding stressed or stretched cloth, sails, water-clogged cold lake rocking earth which is always waters the waters _ +++ dear whom, +++ what is it you wish to know. last night there were burrowings, them I hope you understand. the great sky were an enormous jelly of one piece. so distinct i hear A great soul has come through this sky. +++ i did not see through there, i did not further went. what would be this that the very walls shudder, i did not have premonitions. in the morning i listen to a star i cannot see in our bright day. +++ i did see nothing. +++ 'i am a radio waiting for a station' my father did say. the sun was very bright day and perhaps that were a reason. i do not know. i hear A great music in my soul. i will study god. we +++ march 16, 9 a.m., 2000 ___ concert from heaven! hello hello hello hello! (ping)(ping) my name is nijinski nijinsky! my name is nijinsky nijinski! watch my feet feet! (ping)(ping)(ping) each (ping) i do not hesitate to tell you is a perfect touching of the toes in midair! each toe seeks out the other! my forte is flying high above the audience! look you up at me hee hee! (ping)(ping)(ping) 'that fellow nijinski nijinsky!' they say (ping) 'that fellow nijinsky nijinski!' (ping)(ping) hello martha graham, you don't look so grand from here! (ping) merce cunningham, you are a big silly, stop flailing! (ping)(ping) doris humphrey, need i say more! (ping)(ping)(ping) (ping)(ping)(ping) daishin nikuko, you're making me dizzy! (ping) all of you need ladders! (ping)(ping) in the world of dance i am an butterfly, a eagle, an hawk, an swallow, a albatross, an moth! (ping)(ping)(ping)(ping)(ping) in the world of dance you are a aardvark, a ox, a elephant, an buffalo! (ping) hee hee hee! (ping) (ping) hee hee! (ping)(ping)(ping) (ping)(ping)(ping)(ping)(ping) !!! ___ the lake /*as if contained*/ talking in the middle of the world /*waters and no shores*/ the motivation of a sail /*none, none*/ perfect balancing where worlds /*among forces*/ breathe in worlds, /*breathing winds*/ delicate among elements /*air, water contrail*/ what, happening, since beginnings /*of universes, chaos*/ making us human /*muteness of nature*/ taking us away /*rapture, travel, death*/ ____ the moorings moorings moorings, the home homing and balance suspended in water, eyes open the balance of water and water the balance of water and air balance of death and water balance of life and death waters mooring waters waters mooring - notes on online community (preparation for an online conference) by grounding themselves in discourse, participants in online community constitute themselves within the very binding/cohesiveness of community in general. they appear as communal actants. (i'm thinking of community as discursive formation here; online, presencing oneself occurs as a form of discourse. to be present within the community is already to be part of the communal binding.) these actants - communal performatives - spread both vertically - in terms of elist or application "aura" (back-channel communications, f2f meets, etc.) - and horizontally - in terms of cross-connections among varied communities - acquaintancing carried across MOOs, elists, and newsgroups for example. (online community is by and large the performing of commun- ity.) instead of thinking of totalized coherent community, one might think of local relationships which are somewhat mobile (and not application-depen- dent); these may initially be driven by subject (i.e. an elist based on a sports team), but they become increasingly autonomous. (in other words, people who know other people online often find themselves in other online spaces together - or exploring other online spaces together - so that community is becoming more dispersed, no longer settling in one or another site, although there is almost always a home site.) one might say that everyone is hurting, that constituting oneself within the binding process itself forecloses all those secondary attributes, ranging from time (providing one is using, at least in part, a message- based system) to physical appearance. one might also note the value of this constituting process in new applications - related to the fact that application spaces quickly develop both sexualities and communities - the former almost as a form of homesteading. ___ losing the image waiting for the real to appear waking slowly in the sun skies and eyes from the water, a message thin wedge of light bright on the beam hello we are drowned your drowned we are waiting for your coming your your ___ OF THE binding of names a shrieking angel falls in the water & his sodden wings will not fly again & BIND the name to the number & BIND & transform the number to the name & a shrieking angel will be reassigned, his name taken up across NETS in this & every other world, & his name REBOUND & his number reassigned i do fall into the depths of the waters i do swim among the winged and feathered hollows & there i do bind this wayward drowning angel & there i do spoof his useless address UNBOUND i will ride high in the midst of NETS & routers i am the NAME & the NUMBER i do BIND the NAME & the NUMBER to my great wings, to thy great wings ii Siehe, die Baume _sind,_ and, wandering among forests of directories and files, until at the end of the long path, there are only files, files are only things veering among beauty, such, placed and cited across the plateaus of disks and drives, huddled within the fragments of domains, turning, transformed, when the glider veers in our direction, UNBINDING names and numbers every file leaves itself space unfathomed, between one and another domain; it's here that wings, terror terrified holds to the semblance of the real but i, i have forsworn the real huddled in my wings, huddled in thy wings ___ beneath the water disturbances water-clogged earth which is always waters the waters talking in the middle of the world delicate among elements suspended in water eyes open the balance of water and water the balance of water and air balance of death and water waters mooring waters waters mooring from the water a message a shrieking angel earth lapping at the waters seeped in waters dispersions of earths and souls and drowned eyes and drowned earths, waters, souls, moorings, souls - C:\dying C:\and C:\funereal from C:\the C:\solitary C:\sleeper to C:\the C:\family's C:\descent or C:\from C:\dying C:\in C:\the C:\sky's C:\arch C:\and C:\then C:\too lateral C:\relations C:\among C:\relations the C:\solitary C:\among C:\the C:\solitary speaking, C:\unable C:\to C:\speak, last C:\words C:\on C:\frozen C:\weather so C:\that, C:\chattering, C:\words C:\iced C:\in C:\such C:\a C:\manner suturing C:\all C:\nature C:\of C:\things C:\and C:\names binding C:\names C:\and C:\numbers C:\roots C:\of C:\each C:\and C:\every C:\thing, the C:\root, C:\drive, C:\driven ___ Meanings, Whats *Licentious* and *wanton* emphasize the active satisfaction of desire, although neither word is restricted in meaning to sexual impulse alone. _Licentious_ can suggest any kind of excessive freedom in behavior that goes past legal or moral bounds or violates customary standards of behavior: a _licentious_ attitude toward premarital affairs. _Wanton,_ by contrast, does not suggest extreme freedom so much as unruly or wasteful self-indulgence. Used of people or people's behavior it suggests sensuality more than sexuality: the _wanton,_ fast-living jet set. Only in its sense of gratuitous does it suggest extreme inhumanity or cruelty: _wanton_ slaughter. (S.I. Hayakawa, Modern Guide to Synonyms and Related Words.) Unruly, variegated, wayward, Nikuko and Jennifer and Julu have been abandoned by the side of the road - Nikuko with her parables, Julu with the dark side of the performative, Jennifer with her taunting and nostalgic behavior. What is left but the sleep of the dead, the deepest sleep possible, the exhaustion without bounds. Alan tries sleep remedy after sleep remedy; Alan does not sleep, hir body on fire, self-indulgent, located at the root of the word. Alan's flesh trembles, Alan's bones ache with the embrasions of sheets cut into the skin. Hir dreams break arches, hir eyes drown; Alan has never been near water. Hir feet take hir far from here; hir body splits; licentious, it's fucked by Jennifer, Julu, Nikuko, stabbed with implements, abandoned in _wanton destruction._ ___ nothing to do today, nowhere to go, nothing much happening, day of the lukewarm zero, yawn time, saying nothing to anyone, unbothering, none, unconcerned, loosened, tired and not much, nothing much going on, none of that, unthinking nothing to do today, nowhere to go, nothing much happening, day of the lukewarm zero, yawn time, saying nothing to anyone, unbothering, none, unconcerned, loosened, tired and not much, nothing much going on, none of that, unthinking ___ when do you say, i am done with experiment, now i will talk with you, now you will hear me talking, with no transformation, and then you might hear me, you might hear me saying, i'm tired of making meaning, i'm tired of meaning and making meaning, tired of all of this, of carrying the necessity of language, the needs of the speaking of language ; there are no angels, there never have been, there are no others, but of the proffering, i am sure as long as it's unthought, the way the sun follows form, think of a sundial ; there are no others gracious in reception, what i have done, you might find me saying, i'm tired of phorias, of meaning carried before the back, reachless, gracious, silent, as long as there are words ___ 1 i have not experienced death; death is not an experience. THIS IS A TEXT 2 FOR A MASSACRE. for to one, then the other. THIS IS NOT A TEXT. THIS 3 REMAINS OUTSIDE THE TEXT. for what is one; for what is the other. WORDS 4 GROPED, SORTED, REARRANGED. WORDS JENNIFER OR JULU MIGHT SPEAK. to 5 experience death is to experience nothing. more than a play on words, 6 abscencing and its depth. incontrovertible of the world. ENCUMBRANCE OF 7 ORDER AND THE FAILURE OF SULLEN SPEECH. 8 A TEXT FOR THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE. when the tongue twists against the vowels, 9 inhibits. THE BREAKING OF THE NOUN, CRASHED THING. i have not experienced 10 but of crashed thing, breakage, denouement, end. BUT NEVER DEATH, NEVER OF 11 THE MAGNITUDE. 12 A TEXT FOR THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE. when the tongue twists against the vowels, 13 FOR A MASSACRE. for to one, then the other. THIS IS NOT A TEXT. THIS 14 GROPED, SORTED, REARRANGED. WORDS JENNIFER OR JULU MIGHT SPEAK. to ORDER 15 AND THE FAILURE OF SULLEN SPEECH. REMAINS OUTSIDE THE TEXT. for what is 16 one; for what is the other. WORDS THE MAGNITUDE. 17 abscencing and its depth. incontrovertible of the world. ENCUMBRANCE OF 18 but of crashed thing, breakage, denouement, end. BUT NEVER DEATH, NEVER OF 19 experience death is to experience nothing. more than a play on words, i 20 have not experienced death; death is not an experience. THIS IS A TEXT 21 inhibits. THE BREAKING OF THE NOUN, CRASHED THING. i have not experienced. ___ hey, where are you going? hey, why are you leaving this place? this is a nice place. hey, why are you leaving? ho, why are you leaving us? ho, where are you going? we are nice people. ho, why are you going? this is a nice place, we are nice people. why are you leaving us, why are you going? __ Rackover Viewfinder The Mitchell motion picture cameras shown in Sunset Boulevard employ rackover viewfinders, which displace the film, replacing it with a ground glass screen - which is racked back for the shooting itself. The same system is used in the Cine-Kodaks, and a somewhat clumsy attachment was available for the older non-reflex 16mm Bolex as well. Look through the viewfinder, frame your subject; reset the film, and shoot. The displacement is temporal, not spatial; one, then the other, then the one. Sight is otherwise a disestablishment of position, peering around a corner; here, the corner flattens, in the guise of time, for the means of constituted representation. In Sunset Boulevard, Desmond speaks about her silence; Max is silent about her speech; the noise is filled by the writer. It is not a displacement of silence by sound or of one constitution by another, but of spaces by times, times by spaces, air by water, water by air. At the end the dead writer speaks. At the end the drowned writer is racked over and it's there after that time he can start writing. ___ Pas d'une "I work with someone I trust and whose vision I revere, as I do yours. It is the way a mind works that is beautiful, precise, and precious. [...] There are dreams to be placed before the world. The world may hate them, but that is not important. It is important that each of us raise the standard of civilization the tiny fraction that is immortal law." - Martha Graham letter quoted in Martha Graham, a Biography, by Don McDonagh Oh, "said Jennifer, this is so truly amazing, I do always work with immortal law, it is so wonderful, and my dreams are of wondrous beauty. Alas, "replied Julu, that the world hates us and our tremendous dancing, our bodies twist and turn "everywhere the typing goes, "yes, said Jennifer, the twisting and turning of language, so much fun! Oh, "said Jennifer, we do will live forever, our bodies do such twisting and turning. Alas, "replied Julu, it is so true, and just so, "she did a pirouette. Such were the perturbations of galactic clusters, as that they revolved by the great radio telescope at Arecibo that picked up the signal of the _pas d'une._ __ Every death is different from every other. Death does not level; each death is individual, inscribed - to such a degree that one can hardly speak of death as a phenomenon - rather a collection of interruptions. To each, his or her death, to each death, an individual. "What part of 'duh' don't you understand" - more or less from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. One can never say, he or she has died - rather, that interruptions occur everywhere, and at least once in each and every life. Beyond that, one must remain silent, or agree to listen to stories, one after another, forever. ___ Death Meaning Death is an impossibility. Since it is an impossibility it cannot happen. Therefore there is no death. If death could happen, all things would be possible. Since not all things are possible, death cannot happen. Death is a word for "this is not possible." It is also a word for "not everything is possible." If everything were possible, there would be no need [word] for possibil- ity. Since there is a need for possibility, not everything is possible, and there is no death. There is nothing outside of meaning. Meaning is all there is. Meaning is a disease. Meaning is a disease of humanity. Meaning's absence is the preservation of the world. Only in meaning is absence to be found. Meaning is a disease. There is nothing outside but ourselves. If death existed, it would be possible to inscribe; if death existed, it would be impossible to write. __ Note on "Culture Interpenetrated" "Certain differences may also be observed in the arrangement of bead em- broidery the forms of which are very uniform over an extended area of the western prairies. A characteristic form of this design consists of a cen- tral diamond or rectangle, from the corners of which emanate lines that terminate in triangles facing the central field either with the apex or with the base; sometimes a cross-bar with prongs is found at the end of these lines." (Franz Boas, Primitive Art) Boas' work appears both agglutinatory and proto-structuralist throughout; it occupies a third term among fluidics and (Hertzian) mechanics - see Irigaray. As such, the two relevant terms are "characteristic form" and "field" - fields embodied in forms, and within the general cultural mat- rix, forms moving through fields. "Characteristic form" can reference a nexus or family of usages; it absorbs exceptions (in terms of parameters) with a very high default tag - in other words, it behaves as a strange attractor (catastrophe theory) or potential well / plateau (nonequilibri- um thermodynamics). The high default tag allows creative extensions to a great degree - to such an extent that one might also consider the slow movement of the form itself across a morphological and transforming field of design elements. Using even older terminologies, we might think of this movement in terms of the "life of the form." In this manner, we also manage to avoid issues of relatively exact toler- ance or standardization that, via, say, the critique of Duvignaud (Change at Shebika) problematize the diagrammatic approach of Levi-Strauss or Piaget. One thinks instead of cybernetic fields of feedback and catastro- phic "jumps," as well as differentiable manifolds - characteristic form bound and unbound by all of them, moving as kinetic and potential energy (somewhat like Waddington's chreod) - and in this sense, one might further say (using Winnicott), that: Every object is transitional. This also moves one past or through the problematic of the proper name, which remains tied to the characteristic form (I'm thinking primarily of natural kinds here), as it changes diachronically or synchronically (re: Saussure). Eventually of course one can abandon the notion of characteristic form as well, simply looking at the images, moving from form to imaginary, and through this deliberate misunderstanding, beginning a mute comprehension of the function of culture within the real, as well as culture interpene- trated. ___ Get it Going land 560 land 580 land 600 land 620 land 640 land 660 land 680 land 700 land 720 land 740 land 760 kwm: X_SetInputFocus(0x3c00452): BadMatch (invalid parameter attributes) Select the window whose client you wish to kill with button 1.... Select the window whose client you wish to kill with button 1.... Select the window whose client you wish to kill with button 1.... Select the window whose client you wish to kill with button 1.... /usr/bin/X11/xkill: unable to grab cursor /usr/bin/X11/xkill: unable to grab cursor /usr/bin/X11/xkill: unable to grab cursor /usr/bin/X11/xkill: unable to grab cursor Select the window whose client you wish to kill with button 1.... can't grab the cursor and can't land the flyover packet can't grab the cursor and can't land the flyover packet at a loss here: href="a")a (/a)(a href="b")b (/a)(a href="c")c (/a)(a href="d")d (/a)(a href="e")e (/a)(a href="f")f (/a)(a href="g")g (/a)(a href="h")h (/a)(a href="i")i (/a)(a href="j")j (/a)(a href="k")k (/a)(a href="l")l (/a)(a href="m")m (/a)(a href="n")n (/a)(a href="o")o (/a)(a href="p")p (/a)(a href="q")q (/a)(a href="r")r (/a)(a href="s")s (/a)(a href="t")t (/a)(a href="u")u (/a)(a can't grab the alphabet and crashland on veronica can't grab the alphabet and crashland on veronica veronica: grab me root: i'm grabbing you veronica: hold me tight root: i'm holding you tight veronica: fuck me and shutdown -h root: i'm fucking you and shutdown -h system going down system going down (ok) ___ i relinquish my hold on the world what has been familiar, now is difficult, strange there is an awkwardness about gravity - I had not noticed this before something peculiar about the disappearance of the stars as well you can't tell the trouble you'll be in by jumping land is always tilting, something i noticed for the first time in a great backwards woosh like wrong-way through a telescope enfolded in the loving embrace of the world everywhere penetrating relinquishment is difficult in a land otherwise unlistening less than suddenly, the quiet opening of a great colorless space things are so awkward, having corners, invisible bottoms across the top, other things peering, just as present how do i know how do i know wondering why the winds never fall down towards the bottom of things sun across everywhere, not beneath my feet i keep returning from gravity, and gravity follows the world is so neat, the stars and galaxies wonderfully clean noticing how awkward shadows are as well, just like other things what troubles await someone quietly sitting having relinquished, don't follow me, you'll be amazing, happy ___ nothing:sure:hello there:always: dead_face with hours of sexual fury! __ begging against the stream enormous quantities of texts coursing like blood through me, the letters forming chains of dna, strands broken, swollen, tumorous, producing noth- ing, words, wrapped around words, garbage-air unfit to breathe, wilted and strangled seedlings, more and more out of the maw of the keyboard, oh oh ground by the teeth of the keys, tongue of the space bar, oh oh oh so this _granular_ flow encompasses the world, my life-support, my intra- venous, my closeted drugs, my darlings, my punctuations, my split eyelids open to coursed symbolics, oh oh, you're watching a body in the process of living, in the process of heaving itself, in the process, oh oh oh swollen engorged spew of letters, oh grateful! slurry of pollen, encapsu- lations, indiscretions, oh oh, dust everywhere, do i ever do enough, i will drown in sloughed word streamings, upwellings of syllables, boulders of phrases, mountains of paragraphs, flimsy worlds of texts, oh oh oh forgive me dear reader for being voluminous, for self-cauterization, for these millions of little deaths, for the catastrophic encumbrances of disfigured writings, programs, videos, films, cds, records, images, and objects, for the crippled life-forms of my work, oh oh oh oh oh - The Jade Confucius, Analects X 5, Waley translation: When carrying the tablet of jade, he seems to double up, as though borne down by its weight. He holds it at the highest as though he were making a bow, at the lowest, as though he were proffering a gift. His expression, too, changes to one of dread and his feet seem to recoil, as though he were avoiding something. When presenting ritual-presents, his expression is placid. At the private aud- ience his attitude is gay and animated. Legge translation: 1. When he was carrying the sceptre _of his ruler,_ he seemed to bend his body, as if he were not able to bear its weight. He did not hold it higher than the position of the hands in making a bow, nor lower than their position in giving anything to another. His countenance seemed to change, and look apprehensive, and he dragged his feet along as if they were held by something to the ground. 2. In presenting the pre- sents _with which he was charged,_ he wore a placid appearance. 3. At his private audience, he looked highly pleased. He was doing what, a good deed, he was unhappy. Smiling, he looked up with the ritual jade held high, his feet close to the ground, slightly angled. He proffered a ritual object to another, the jade, what, held high, his pace solemn, his expression one of happiness. Crying, but befit a man, he bent his body close to the ground, the piece of ritual jade held high. Quietly, in rage, he shuffled his feet, nimbly moving among the pillars of the great hall, the gift of jade in his pleasant hands. Angrily, he strode across the floor of the outer pavilion, the jade weighing heavily in his hands held high. He was doing something, what, for his private audience. He looked highly pleased, miserable, somewhat animated. _ my audience lies in the future. there is no way you could possibly understand this. replicate, replicate. the procession of words, molecular survivals. you are not yet born. you are reading this as a residue or afterthought. the most unique mind of his generation. the ability to comprehend future developments. an understanding of structure and its cognizance. intertwinings, interpenetrations. the imaginary which is the real. superstructural content as floating projections. you are my audience. this is written in the year 2024. this is written in the year 2048. certain discursive gestures. truth of problematic, problematic of truth. the device which insists on covert operations. audience of the year 2052, an advanced thought. recognition of the year 3000. projects which move concurrently. projections which move with the times. thinking from pre-cambrian, paleolithic, modernity. thinking from modernity, futuring, unstaying. moment-motility of projective processings. i am writing for you, shunting, murmuring. you who understand this, you are my companions. hidden, extraterrestrial, elsewhere, inflationary. ___ The Marriage "I am a man called by the Spirit of God, and I live on stems, roots, and fruit." (Jesus, Slavonic version of Jewish War, translated G. A. Williamson, Josephus, The Jewish War.) put the dog in the house and put the cat in the other house there is a house with a dog in it and there is a house with a cat in it i put the dog in the house and i put the cat in the other house there is a sheep which is a thing and there is a man which is another thing there are two things and two houses with two more things in them there is a boy near the houses the things and he is a boy there is a lake and the boy is not in the lake the houses are not in the lake the boy makes a picture with black ink and a color the boy makes a picture with green ink there is a dog in the house in the picture and you cannot see the dog and you cannot see the cat i put the dog in the house and the cat in the house it is a nice house and a nice dog and a nice cat it is a nice man and a nice sheep and a nice picture it is a nice boy and nice ink by a nice lake and a nice thing there is a moon in the sky behind the house there is a sun in the sky behind the house this is a nice month and it is november this is a nice month and now it is january the house is in the nice month and the other house is in the nice month of the nice month put the cat in the nice month now the cat is in november and the boy is in january it is a nice picture __ the most beautiful thing in the world, light gleams light light moving from one to another room there is light flowing from the window light seeping beneath the door, light over the transom ^breathing the light murmurs deep into the floor, walls, ceiling light gleams light, in another room in another room, the ceiling has sent emissions there are dull glows, surfaces murmuring to surfaces nothing is ever in silence, nothing in void nothing in abyssal vacuum nothing ungleaming with the beauty and light of the world ^breathing with illuminations no matter how faint, how subtle how subtle is the shimmer of heat, radio elasticity elasticity of the world murmuring the world the gleaming of light gleaming light _ Somewhere Right Now In America [apollo.pslw.edu] Login Name TTY Idle When Where cheesegd DIANA C ORTEGA *pts/0 Fri 22:05 dialup-209.247.247.1 kiddy HSIAO-FENG KUO pts/1 Fri 23:22 madmax-149.pslw.edu chanef ESSIE CHAN pts/ Sat 00:28 madmax-184.pslw.edu chilou CHI-IAN LOU pts/3 Sat 00:32 madmax-240.pslw.edu abusby ANGELA BUSBY *pts 19 Sat 00:14 ntpool4x04.zdv.uni-t wongdnf DONALD NEE FOOK WONG *pts/5 Sat 00:02 haywire.csuhayward.e tricial PATRICIA LAU *pts/6 Sat 00:33 madmax-106.pslw.edu pops DAVID ANTHONY PARKER *pts/7 9 Sat 00:18 libra.pslw.edu cmrivera CARLOS RIVERA *pts/8 27 Sat 00:06 madmax-110.pslw.edu krislai KRISTINE LAI pts/9 1:06 Fri 23:27 24hrlab-204.pslw.edu leeshado THOMAS K LEE *pts/13 Sat 00:06 adsl-209-233-24-5.ds abdel ABDULLAH YAHYA pts/14 1:59 Fri 21:38 24hrlab-222.pslw.edu leeshado THOMAS K LEE pts/15 Sat 00:09 adsl-209-233-24-5.ds dyuson Dino Yuson pts/17 8 Fri 23:35 ccs-ops.pslw.edu theory ROBERT C. THOMAS *pts/19 Sat 00:19 max1-63.pslw.edu go YI-CHEN LIN pts/3 3 Fri 10:55 hou163-67.pslw.edu ___ the text this is not the text but the bones of the text this is the text split, splayed for modification this is the trembling text, waiting for your touch this is the vulnerable text, the languid text this is the text that will do anything for you this is the text that is open for you alone this is the text that gives itself to you this is the text that is your thing (make-local-variable 'whywant) (setq whywant '( (($ whysay) (// subj) might ($ want) (// obj) \?) (how does it feel to want \?) (why should (// subj) get (// obj) \?) (when did (// subj) first ($ want) (// obj) \?) (($ areyou) obsessed with (// obj) \?) (why should i give (// obj) to (// subj) \?) (have you ever gotten me or (// obj) \?) )) (make-local-variable 'canyou) (setq canyou '((of course i can \.) (why should i \?) (what makes you think i would even want to \?) this is not the text but the bones of the text this is the text split, splayed for modification this is the trembling text, waiting for your touch this is the vulnerable text, the languid text this is the text that will do anything for you this is the text that is open for you alone this is the text that gives itself to you this is the text that is your thing (make-local-variable 'want) (setq want '( (want) (desire) (wish) (want) (hope) )) (make-local-variable 'shortlst) (setq shortlst '((can you elaborate on that and look at me \?) (would you love me more if you had to pay \?) (continue) (($ please) continue\, my eyes are very big \.) (go on\, don\'t be afraid of me\, look up my legs \.) (i need a little more detail please \- let me come to you \?) (you\'re being a bit brief\, ($ please) go into detail \.) (can you ($ please) be more explicit\, fill me \?) (and\, ohhhhh \?) (($ please) go into more detail\, think of me \?) (you aren\'t being very talkative today\!) (can you see my pretty pretty ($ cloth) \?) (why must you respond so briefly \?))) i say "this is not the text but the bones of the text" i say to you "this is the text split, splayed for modification" i bare myself to you "this is the trembling text, waiting for your touch" i say "this is the vulnerable text, the languid text" i talk to myself "this is the text that will do anything for you" you tell me "this is the text that is open for you alone" you say to me "this is the text that gives itself to you" you offer me "this is the text that is your thing" -- 'sdeath (make-local-variable 'deathlst) (setq deathlst (dor-put-meaning stab 'death) (dor-put-meaning murder 'death) (dor-put-meaning murders 'death) (dor-put-meaning suicide 'death) (dor-put-meaning suicides 'death) (dor-put-meaning kill 'death) (dor-put-meaning kills 'death) (dor-put-meaning killing 'death) *burning out inside out *chars writhing thus .txt *violent sorrow debris *charred death charred ashes *gathering place & mournful sprits *me me me (dor-put-meaning die 'death) (dor-put-meaning dies 'death) (dor-put-meaning died 'death) (dor-put-meaning dead 'death) (dor-put-meaning death 'death) (dor-put-meaning deaths 'death) (defun dor-death () (cond (suicide-flag (dor-type ($ deathlst))) (t (dor-type ($ deathlst))))) (dor-put-meaning dead 'death) ___ Notes on the Phenomenology of the Sty|us Consider the use of the stylus for hand-held computers and touch-screens of all sorts; it performs the following: pointing, touching, moving, and holding, across an activated potential surface. In this regard, we have this simple formalization: a: placing stylus down b: raising stylus up c: moving stylus while down d: moving stylus while up e: keeping the stylus in place on the matrix a -> c,b,e (a,b) = tap (a,c) = drag (a,e) = hold b -> d,a c -> b,e d -> a e -> b,c This is a mathematics of contiguity, a mathematics of touch and movement, in relation to an object: touching the object; moving across the surface of the object; remaining in place upon the surface of the object; withdrawing from the object. Clearly, remaining in place is a subset of movement (0 speed), or of touching and withdrawing, since such demands a certain relation to the object, a certain quantity of time-in-touch. But phenomenologically, it represents something entirely different, a residing or inhabitation, which must be given its own status. Think of all of this as a formalization of _inscription_ to the widest degree possible, perhaps a topography of inscription. Technologically, it is related to the screen raster on one hand, and to reed styli used for cuneiform, ostraca styli, etc., on the other. Phenomenologically, it is the relationship of a tool to a surface, a hand to a body - in other words, a caress to the caressed. More than that, however, since the stylus also creates a trace - the creation of a grapheme and/or a performative in relation to an operation which begins, ends, is maintained, or transformed. These categories, like that of the tool and the hand, or the surface and the body, are fuzzy, interpenetrating; they serve only for the moment of arousal, the delicate approach of the stylus tip to the screen surface, the promise of further and intended activity. One might continue in this direction, relating the stylus to the wand of the magician, to swords, batons, and phalli of all sorts, to vectors in the sky forming the outline of constellations, even to vectors emanating from the cartesian origin. One might crudely apply temporality and gender, one might think from arrows to matrix, from grapheme to subtext and the Peircean sheet of assertion. So many directions, so much writing ahead, so much touch of one against another, so much phenomenology, theoretical structures, the very flesh of the wor(|)d ... ___ My Clothing in Cyberspace (Why clothing? Because alias allows me the privilege of short-cut across commands, macros running high-speed, and what I do where. My entire his- tory is here, in literally abbreviated form.) alias hh="integer q; (( q = 1 )); while (( q < 10 )) alias lib="telnet locis.loc.gov" alias phenom="stty rows 17" alias hangman="/usr/games/hangman" (telecommunications file access eliminated) alias t="ncftp trace" alias talker="telnet woodfin.cs.unca.edu 7000" alias rmm="./.rmm" alias psh="/usr/local/bin/npsh" alias mutt="mutt -b sondheim@panix.com" alias me="./.mailme" alias 6="rlogin panix6" alias 3="rlogin panix3" alias bbs="telnet livewire.dynip.com" alias plynx="lynx" alias find="gfind" alias du="du -s" alias k="kill -9" alias ps="ps -g" alias mac="tr -s '\015' '\012'" alias clara="plynx 166.84.250.149/" alias sendmail="/usr/lib/sendmail" alias julu="./.julu" (removed: daughter and friends' ytalk commands) alias cal="gcal -p -H yes" alias bi="./.auto" alias pico="pico -z" alias banner="/usr/5bin/banner" alias rm="rm -i" alias quiz="/usr/games/quiz" alias syn="netstat -an | grep SYN_SENT" alias kyoto="telnet 149.31.1.10 7777" alias sven="telnet 149.31.1.10" alias x="plynx lynx_bookmarks.html" alias b="nfrm" alias c="pico calendar" alias ching="/usr/games/ching" alias fortune="/usr/games/fortune" alias memo="./.memo" alias p="/usr/etc/ping -s" alias m="pine" alias ping="/sbin/ping" alias host="/usr/sbin/host" alias new="Mail sondheim@panix3.panix.com <" alias l="ls -ail | more; ls -il .mailspool/sondheim; wc mail/*; du -s" alias h="history" alias tf="./tf -n" alias tel="telnet lists.village.virginia.edu" alias archie="archie -es -o arch" __ what the ancients recognized, that we are ghosts invisible we are transparent to gaia & transparent to to dark matter, transparent to neutrinos & transparent to cosmos, cornered in inflationary universes, held taut & visible by logics of the surface, transparent to bacteria, prions, viruses, mother-father bacteria, slime & molecular soup, granularities & strings layered upon granularities, & layers in layers, layers tilted, askew in relation to layers, & layers interpenetrated, layers corroded, & layers imbricated & twisted, we look at ourselves & see ghosts & name them, unknowing, we witness ourselves as eternal, obdurate, opaque & historic, dates sliding against dates & times against times, & no dates & no times at all, & spaces & no spaces, & layered spaces, & spaces layered against spaces, transparent throughout all of them, all of them transparent throughout, __ "shimmering ontologies of transparency" accordingly, shifting, looking around, coming to mind, intervalling, dia- gramming our always-already-having-disappeared, entering into knowledge of our ghosthood, | dream / real / constituted virtual / the gnawing of dark matter | - symbolic - imaginary - idiocy of the real (practico-inert) | imaginary / as if | imaginary this is the ontology of transparency, the veering among dream and real, among the constituted (programming virtual) and the pervasion of parti- cles and dark matter. and this is also on yet another layer and yet another interpenetration, a veering among the symbolic and imaginary, coupled with the idiocy of the real. and on yet another layer, the as-if, opening into the troubled problematic of the infinite, veering through the imaginary - and yet, on still another, the imaginary, as if there were, as if an itself, as if we were dissolving, constantly, within our very constitution ... so moreso, the desire to be transparent as well, already-ghosting against earth and sky, already in the process of dissolution, emptiness to empti- ness, slight translucency at the edges, peripheral shadows - both towards eternity, both towards death. and towards lassitude, languor, the transparency of reception, opening. and that recognition that we may have been elsewhere-born, hardened, weighted with the world, foreclosed - and here, opened, delicate, we can hardly believe it. ___ Likenessness Dreaming last night, there were soft animals in the garden, larger slugs, I would go about myself looking for philosophies and explanations. The first that came to mind, the likenessness of animals, similarities or styles across the soft tissues. A voice called in the midst of that green, the sunlight thick upon the leaves, called out the problematic of crustaceans, their sudden underbellies, quick changes from soft to hard; insects as well came to mind, joints holding forms together. Still and with all of this, likenessness, a form of coherencing, seemed relevant enough, the cultivation of styles among animals. More than motility, likenessness tended towards a way of being in the world, and now, awake, I apply this as well to mountains with sharp peaks, or rounded mountains, or ox-bow rivers and lakes, or plateaus with mud-crack patternings, or basaltic columns, or clays or crystals. Ecosystems and geologies have their faults to be sure; they also have their styles, holding onto the custom and shape of the imminent earth. It is this I call likenessness, finding it everywhere, not least in the giant dream-slugs, yellow, green, and black, in the gardens of my sleep. ___ outside, juggernaut of cherry blossoms, white-pinked against the sky, branches give them away, sere, towards angular augury, kanji, pavilions' minions, snowed down towards ground worn smooth with tiny hoppers! inside, flat slabs of edo journeys, that waterfall my own near aoi inari grouped, swimmed, naked in winter water, dimmed light holding dyes in proper weather farther, tiny walkers follow fallow guiding brilliance! oh! oh! said nikuko, you did see sakura matsuri against hokusai bustle! oh! oh! said jennifer, yes, the dawn did sun against trimming of glass glaze! oh! oh! oh! said nikuko and jennifer, such warmth of plum-shrine highway! oh! oh! oh! said jennifer and nikuko, such moons of geisha tremble falter! oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! said nikuko and jennifer, oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! __ flame and flower this is the start of the flower of the text the beautiful flower this is the start of something new, don't be terrified flower and flame constitute themselves with the very bdg/cesiveness of community - stead of thkg of totalized cerent community, one might thk of strangled seedlgs, me and me out of the maw of the keyboard, ground by the teeth of the keys, tongue of the space bar, open to coursed symbolics, you're watchg a body the process of livg, the process of heavg itself, the process, swollen engged spew of letters, grateful slurry of pollen, encapsulations, discre- tions, dust everywhere, do i ever do enough, of phrases, mountas of para- graphs, flimsy wlds of texts, objects, f the crippled life-fms of my wk, flame and flower that was the start of the flower of the text the beautiful flower that was the start of something new, don't be terrified flower and flame __ i promise you i will always send out the last text written before i die you will have a complete collection of everything i have written nothing will be held back, nothing will remain unknown my world is given to you, pull the theory out, assemble it it is all there, the defuge, sexuality, transparency, linkage, coupling the theory all there, just barely virtual in the life of nikuko in the life of julu, the theory resides, within the life of jennifer oh azure, my other lovers are not real, they are make-believe and mine theory emerges, all will have all of it, my most solemn promise no other truth is necessary, you have my complete collection now, you have everything, this is the very last text for now this is the very last text, at the moment nothing else be content, hold steadfast, comprehend, receive and surrender my promise is fulfilled, my world rendered, all revealed, perfection promise given, residing, emerging, holding, comprehending, and surrender -- number 7 Ju7lu% history 1 ls 2 b 3 tail lj 4 b 5 all times my words invisible, you'll forget me 6 help for our transparency, groundless and lost sight of you Ju8lu% nothing to disrupt, peace with every world, all matters settled ksh: nothing: not found Ju9lu% disturbances: and try and settle down! ksh: disturbances:: not found Ju10lu% where everything's the same, pubescent, swollen, there we are ksh: where: not found Ju11lu% find not found, no markers, words, or matters nothing gfind: not: No such file or directory gfind: found,: No such file or directory gfind: no: No such file or directory gfind: markers,: No such file or directory gfind: words,: No such file or directory gfind: or: No such file or directory gfind: matters: No such file or directory gfind: nothing: No such file or directory Ju12lu% an end to history, worlds, thoughts, through me and you _ Sonnet You have no mail.terpenetrations. Ju9lu% binary which is the real. You have no mail.ontent as floating projections. k:{10}% by audience. You have no mail.n the year 2024. k:{11}% britten in the year 2048. You have no mail.e gestures. You have no mail.insists on covert operations. k:{12}% bof the year 2052, an advanced thought. You have no mail.e year 3000. k:{13}% bwhich move concurrently. You have no mail. You have no mail.ernity, futuring, unstaying. You have no mail. _ "with me" to be transparent after death resonates beautifully with me, annihilation to the limit, an awaiting of particulate matter, diffused harmonic peaks. and to write the phenomenology of transparency, to recognize we have nev- ever been alive in this life, is to achieve a subtle transcendence by id- entification; it is not the Other which greets me throughout the day, but others, innumerable totalities, swarms, sentiences, obdurate and inchoate matter as well. it is a strategy for living, embouchure of chaos. my recent texts, taken apart, reassembled, produce sprays of micro-organ- isms, neutrino showers, virtual pair creations, dark matter sputterings. their argument is in the form of fugal repetition, fugue states, meanders among those sayings hanging in the still warm air of a sunny afternoon. one can hardly argue among the sweet and sickly smell of leaves and stems ripening in the humid air... ___ H L 8 208.243.30.194 M 01PM 7:34 - F N L 208.49.210.139 M 10AM 12:35 3 V L. V L M 04PM 10:26 R H H. L . WLR04PM 9:37 L F - - J 10 % M V H .N L NV NL V L .F V . R L.L L L .F L .V F F L R L L 10. V .V F V N L V .N N L V .V F - VH J 11 % R L T L A 11 03:36:05 EDT 2000 J 12 % M V H .N L NV NL V L .F V . R L.L L L .F L .V F F L R L L 10. V .V F V N L V .N N L V .V F - VH J 13 % - Dawn of Information application to application, same or dissimilar... in relation to those modalities of language transformation I've already outlined. one would take for "true" subjectivity. Email gains its power through this site and citation, and _we_ are empowered through our ability to speak, to be silent, to be heard. form the letters carefully, by hand. I add a certain distance, an appearance of objectivity (that helps)." (ibid.) I will read and learn you beauty beauty! Your words pour over me, fluttering daemons like fairy-wraiths caress the rosy-hued dawn! and like marriage, for better or worse, but without the possibility of divorce on the horizon. everywhere on the Info And they lie entwined like lovers speaking for the last time Of things and lovers; then appear in this space once and forever Etc. Hello! How are you today! Love, Alan! era, peering behind a curtain, displaying oneself as if one were unconscious of others opening, openings ... *See Erving Goffman, Stigma, Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity.) Nothing is ever wasted, thrown out, in this bitter bitter absence of a world. stop suddenly with that flat screech that says they're very near, just outside, and I've got to leave fast in the interval of roaring engines. withdraw the essay and the essay-form itself; aphoristic was his main con-tribution to contentious thinking through the subject. mur; there is little separation between the self and harmony, between memory and bodies sung and twisted by waves of burning sound. take it to her, take it from her, give it to me. "That says it all." 22 * * * 23 * OK 205 Connection closed by foreign host. (CEPA Quarterly, 3/2-3) shudder, Alan does. He won't let me nary tracts across the uninhibited landscape of emissions, spews, absented languages, and starting to think about writing. Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh. O gods O goddesses. .. Jennerous.. .. Julu is here with me, Jennifer running as background process... computer slacker keyboard grounded to the light socket his lights go out old man ground to a halt er top she's wearing last night's hard nipples' he typed her last words fuck him he's dead she said fuck him fuck him {k:28} and elsewhere... ksh: and: not found like a denied lover for the blue glow of dawn.' (James Lee Burke, Heaven's Prisoners)." (Sondheim, Love, The Blue Glow of Dawn) This text: _ki._ repeating itself over and over again, i try to sleep, tom, sung-ja, towns crowding themselves towards the entrance of the millennium, this dash in space, this zero, this america noon-female-of-augustness"; but then Aston was writing in the nineteenth century. will carry a red lantern everywhere, . I will be that red lantern and I will illuminate my path forever, . state0in0any0case,0there's0that0to0be0said0for0it.0It0reflects0every- thing0you've0known;0she's0there0in0her0skirt,0there's0a0smile0or0in- vitation0afoot. across her breasts, runnings full through mouth and loam, hair and starry starry sky. be assumed that there are many wars, many peaces. And it may further be assumed that this is the split from the parallel, a dispersion of logic. So be it, said Daishin Nikuko. in repetitious order. No delight, but clearness of this-world's mistaken kanji. Now war has stopped. Now a turn. Now the turns. befor long lung and gone befor long lung and gone :chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant; :chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant; :chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant chant; ] have me across the surface of my body, across the surface of your own - Fair is Fair!!! quadrillion, four hundred seventy six trillion, four hundred fifty six billion, eight hundred ninety million, ninety eight thousand, eight hundred sixty six. day. [...] I know the center of the world: it is north of the state of Yen and south of the state of Yueh. [...] A wheel never touches the ground.") (Jennifer) My name is Jennifer-Disconnect, my Love has Gone, Good-bye. (Alan) Or *whimper" lost, oh *sniff* and I set sail! ALL SHIPS CRASH "The Sun is alive," said Alan, "surely it is. Jennifer thought it was a beautiful Sun," and how lovely it illuminated Jennifer's Machine, tired and very full from making Rabbits. ing new worlds and dreams for us! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz O beauty of the Nozomi 500 reinvigorating the old! zzzzzzzzzzz your capabilities. Can you stop?" (_Jing,_ trans. Yates.) Could anything be better? Could anything be worse? no really the soft pat tasting of lonely space nothing moving i be lonely here in space it is so cold in space it is so empty here virtual julu deep inside me - cut me open, there you are - cut you open, there i am - (im)precisely what is _lost in the texts,_ not elsewhere, ready for the scaffolding to be taken apart." JUST LEAVE THE LETTERS AT THE DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE THEY'RE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE your child I am incredibly lucky to know you, says Jennifer, "of course you have my full love and support" in everything you write and do." Devour me eight hundred cells in the girl test test test Brought Forth through thraa hhndrad calls ln tha bpy tast tast! towards transpiration and non-mattering this is a prediction and a truth of and from the year 3000 There is no ROUSSEAU in ROUSSEAU. There are no survivors. The universe nestled among the folds of organdie. *sob* cc > bb dialog --textbox bb 0 0 dialog --inputbox "addenda: where are you" 0 0 2>> bb date >> bb dialog --msgbox "end" 0 0 my promise is fulfilled, my world rendered, all revealed, perfection promise given, residing, emerging, holding, comprehending, and surrender -- The Broadcast: "An Old Friend" Today is April 11, 2000 15:59:16 ### We're looking forward to Nikuko's appearance on the talker.... ### ### In the afternoon, Nikuko nearly appears at the door... ### Nikuko, are you here? I've been waiting for you... Alan says: Nikuko, are you here? I've been waiting for you... I've been holding things together in this floating world of ours... Alan says: I've been holding things together in this floating world of ours... ### I am here, Alan, it is very difficult to speak here, things... ### ### I am reaching towards you, Alan, please, please, believe me... ### I do believe you, Nikuko, there is no death, there is life everywhere... Alan says: I do believe you, Nikuko, there is no death, there is life everywhere... I know you are deep inside me, I feel your breathing deep in my heart... Alan says: I know you are deep inside me, I feel your breathing deep in my heart... ### I must go now, Alan, these encounters... ### ### Goodbye, Alan, I will be with you always, seeking you out... ### Ah, I as well, Nikuko, I as well... Alan says: Ah, I as well, Nikuko, I as well... Nikuko, Nikuko... ? Alan says: Nikuko, Nikuko... ? ;hears nothing, nothing... Alan hears nothing, nothing... Users Currently On ------------------------------------------------------------------------ * Alan (SQUARE) Connection closed by foreign host. _ "thinking through death and transparency, Why!, i can never tell a story, i can only hope that the words themselves make as little difference as the affairs of men and women, thus, "said Izanagi, "we are propelled by the very attitudes of our speech, as if proffering beginnings and endings when - for all the worlds know, there are nothing but stirrings, and "such are small, "replied Nikuko, "there is little cleverness about them, at least as little as might be safely ignored, "and what wouldn't be such, "said Izanagi, "were it not for the fiction of the acts of words, just then bomb, "Boom, Boom, Boom, everything gone, "so what, "said Nikuko, "so what, anything at all. _ the wind it is said that the parable is the most ephemeral, the weakest source of knowledge. and for this reason, the parable is the truest source as well, existing for the length of a breath, trembling before rumors of the abso- lute. its very trembling hints at forces beyond our control, shadowy existenc- es, ghosts of tracts purporting to describe the world flowing out beneath them. the source of parables, nikuko said, is the comprehending of worlds; par- ables accomplish this through weakness and participation, bending in the wind. __ Found Text, You Have Heard This All Before written in pocket linux (operating system on a boot floppy): what is occurring here, working lean into the maw of this awkward machine where i'm loading linux in bleary RAM alone you can understand this is true this very system where i'm consorting with nikuko in RAM so there's no trace left of me anywhere what is that absent anywhere circuitry humming, no one's around it's now, this occurrence, something imminent call it 'occurrence' as it's happening, imminent and then some and then imminent carried down to this level or here, working lean, so there's nothing else --- RAM cleared now, i add this tail, that world no longer anywhere, i shudder to see what new content takes (my) form --- later: of this, the purest mind, open, erased, gone, log files annihilated: there's just this text from nowhere, only residue or remnant, nothing else: ghost, transparent, invisible. ___ crumbling slate of silent worlds the blank world, the slate, there i will draw one or another, constancy:words are transitional objects between silence and silence; between one silence and another, disturbances on the periphery, as-if:juncture of stars-neutralization, intention, huddled, maintained, in erasable memory, taut like lines are, these are the rooms we have left, written and lost, written and lost:nothing:nothing does juncture of stars-neutralization, intention, huddled, maintained, in erasable memory, taut like lines are, these are the rooms we have left, written and lost, written and lost turn ours, the blank world, the slate, there i will draw one, or another, constancy, to you, azure, of shorter evenings? and there between silence and silence, there the rooms we have left, there, the blank world, the slate, there, erasable memory, all such memory, written and lost, words hungered, lost, nothing:nothing:nothing _ Thematics I write in a relative vacuum, almost no feedback; so it comes about I lose track of thematics, corrections; so I wander over unforgiving territory, ignorant; today I look back at double files, the current and the last, looking across death, among other processes transparent to the world. For it was during this period, after six months, that my mother died; this is recorded, across the files, an extended meditation on death, which has always encompassed me. What is there elsewhere in these files? Transparency, invisibility, the slight, weakness, everywhere, accounting for our presence in absence, and in fact an inversion of death and life: for it may be that we already are of the death, descended from the living replete in dark matter, a far more ethical world. "Texts on bagkeys, relation of protolanguage and performativity of the body to keystroking - end users, the three lamps, lake texts below, cancer texts etc." say my reminders - bagkeys being a key capture program, recor- ding keystrokes - in other words, the incessant movement of the fingers across the keyboard. Somehow this references another hysteria of the vir- tual-real - creating a mathematics of Press, Release, Move, Hold, leading to a phenomenology of contiguity. It's as if the text were primarily a coding or decoding of bodily movement, not an autonomous production or computational emission. What can we do with this? We can look at proto- language or pidgens, we can find our way clumsy in the world, the enmeshed and performing body, the body in movement, breathing through the text. There there are the texts of the lake and the light spilling, meandering - waters and lights, the body suspended in the midst of the former, opening up to the latter. The insertion moves back and forth from screen and key and computer to water and light, but it is the same dispersing of selving at work in the death texts, in virtual existence, in media emissions. There are also the texts of the rectification of names, thinking again through issues of designation and harmonies, names disappearing as quickly as any other worlds. And a long text on the phenomenology of the projects I designed for the Trace virtual-writer-in-residence position, projects which were organized around backbone pages, writing/scrawling, disappear- ances. All of this reflects a position of waning articulations, translucent structures which may or may not present themselves. The phenomenology in- sists as well on its lack of positionality, on its self-effacement, on its spew or flow - such are its grounds. Again I return to thinking through contiguity, the ephemera of touch, of passing-by. I write the theory of the three lamps, of open circuitry, batteries using the universe as broken linkage; I write of kludges in the world, things coming together primarily as bricolage, making-do, held together by lines of code going nowhere, inflated, almost correct, reporting errors at best to /dev/null. And I write the theory of the end-user, oblivious to machin- ery and undercurrents, and the philosophy of cancer and the stereotypic- ality of death, and the stories of death, the meaning and meaninglessness of stories. I write about my mother's death and cancer as dispersion and online com- munities as dispersions, no longer organized around particular applica- tions or sites, but constituted (as the very first probably were) by loose associations and a kind of mobility - one seeing, for example, old friends appearing in all sorts of places. I return endlessly to the binding of names, to those names that should participate in creation, but die stillborn, as if there were something to learn from empathetic magic: every file leaves itself space unfathomed, between one and another domain; it's here that wings, terror terrified holds to the semblance of the real I write as well about phoric meaning, meaning carried on the back, holding oneself as if against death, and I write up against the wall of death, as if it were transparent, and I return to transparency and meaning lost and not regain, a continuous contemplation of death: i'm tired of making meaning, i'm tired of meaning and making meaning, tired of all of this, of carrying the necessity of language, and as well: 1 i have not experienced death; death is not an experience. THIS IS A TEXT 2 FOR A MASSACRE. for to one, then the other. THIS IS NOT A TEXT. There are gaps, there is a funeral, a period of mourning after a death, there is Nikuko returning. Mixed, technology: A discussion of the rack- over viewfinder, the implied doubling of vision and the displacement of time in favor of the singularity of space, an inversion of our binding to temporality and its singularity. So philosophy appears even in this rela- tion, just as the phenomenology of contiguity appears at first in terms of an analysis of the stylus-pen used with hand-held computer touch- screens. Everything reduces to a motivation of primary constituents - space, time, motion, stillness, touch, release. And as usual, all such constituents are seen, first, as constituted, granted meaning by the human articulation of semantic domains, and second, as interpenetrated, proble- matized by the real (as well as careful analysis). A philosophy of characteristic forms, drawn from thinking about Boas, is hinted at; such forms fall between structuralism and post-structuralism, are represented by fuzzy logics in every direction, and indicate as well a wavering position between real and virtual, constituted and deployed. More return to ourselves as ghosts invisible, writing within and without the floating world, dark matter and the thickness of the real always beyond our grasp; we are on the verge of discovering the real, finding ourselves always already displaced from it; culture told us so. A text emphasizes the "shimmering ontologies of transparency": | dream / real / constituted virtual / the gnawing of dark matter | - symbolic - imaginary - idiocy of the real (practico-inert) | imaginary / as if | imaginary as displacement takes hold, as a form of suturing occurs, and I am brought back from one realm to another, all within the same. Philosophy mingles with the therapeutic; I find solace in certain positions I, perhaps, wish to find - these also appearing, as if natural, from one or another source located in the murky articulation of unbounded thought. Finally there is an analysis, once again, of the nature of parable, to which I ascribe these texts, and a final: and there between silence and silence, there the rooms we have left, there, the blank world, the slate, there, erasable memory, all such memory, written and lost, words hungered, lost, nothing:nothing:nothing Such is the process which continues through my work, through my avatars, through Jennifer, Julu, Nikuko, and the rest, through the programming, through the conferencing and discussions - a process which is singular insofar as it is based on constitution upon constitution, problematic upon problematic, and interpenetrations, fuzzy phenomena, exculpations, the breathing of a body reciting, praying, creating, telling - such a body of love or death, such a written body, such a body writing. ___ The Passage (lit. op. cit. 'natural artifact,' Bridging Worlds) She would come to me in the garden (lit. she rounded her feelings, op. cit. 'nature'), asking as if she were pursuant to flower unfolding (lit. asking because she liked the spring), would the bamboo present itself circumstantially to both of us, entwined, as if we were real (lit. there are stemmed plants, op. cit. 'cultural artifact,' growing wild in such shadows so that our shadows are knotted and bound by their untoward growth). Every evening (lit. op. cit. 'nature,' of the death of the sun, she would weep constantly, praying for its return as the darkness closed in upon her), we would spend many hours (lit. op. cit. 'natural artifact,' deaths of amphibia, lingering note of the flute) together; (lit. ;'',) thus did skeins contribute to the cascading waters enmeshing of what might have been planktonic follies, caught alive, drowned in pure air (lit. and so our lives passed uneventfully, full of love and happiness). (lit. op. cit. ::./) _ The Vapid Ju16lu% date Ju17lu% Sat Apr 15 17:23:29 EDT 2000 _ cit. ::./) have been planktonic follies, caught alive, drowned in pure air (lit. and so our lives passed uneventfully, full of love and happiness). (lit. op. thus did skeins contribute to the cascading waters enmeshing of what might Sat Apr 15 17:24:34 EDT 2000 How did it come to this, words cascaded, in disarray, memory of older orders lost and drowned with them, words poised in slow and circling waves between surface and bottom, sludged and slurried lay- ers, all in the space of a night, dull morning, gloomy afternoon? Time hurries without us, works its slow unravelings; letters lose their violent hold on meaning. Remember that, meaning is always caught alive or not at all, the monstrosity of noise, shrill echoes blanking out the remnants of the world around us. Just as I write these words, they begin their incessant decay; already I picture transpositions, occlusions, vapors, the vapid... ___ exit b the cold brown fox cold brown fox covered the cold brown fox over the dozen rivers quickly after the cool after the cold brown after the cold brown fox jumped over the dozen quick rivers he came down to the world's origin cracking and jittery all of a notion did the cold brown fox come covered quick jittery he came and the cold brown fox b ls sz lj further did the cold brown fix dump fox further did further did the cold brown fox further did the cold brown fox jump quick quizzically over the river lives of the river fox, cold, brown, found quick quizzes date b cold brown fox driving zoologically into the river quickly jumping b exit _ Rap lj:taking us away /*rapture, travel, death*/ lj:ing, words, wrapped around words, garbage-air unfit to breathe, wilted and lj:of phrases, mountains of paragraphs, flimsy worlds of texts, oh oh oh lj:degree possible, per- haps a topography of inscription. Technologically, it lj:creation of a grapheme and/or a performative in relation to an operation lj:one might think from arrows to matrix, from grapheme to subtext and the lj:graphs, flimsy wlds of texts, objects, f the crippled life-fms of my wk, lj:with the therapeutic; I find solace in certain positions I, perhaps, wish volt. irc:vecho connecting multi-collide bot to [server] - [-r] rapes [nick(s)] (keeps _ The Dream of Svengali and Trilby Last night, hallucinating, half awake, half asleep, Svangali passing Tril- by small wooden frameworks, taking her under, hypnotized. I realize this is impossible, keep trying to rework the dream, over and over again. I get up, take some notes, go back to sleep. What I realize is this: that hypnosis is intransitive, that there is no passing of objects, not even dream objects, not even states or concepts, ideas or processes - it's this precise confrontation without such passing that constitutes the hypnotic state - intense communication in vacuo, an uncanny empathetic alterity. Such is the state of expectancy, that Trilby, and the rest of us, succumb. _ ex-qat drug cops key the jam in biz, vow life. quick brown fat dyes jam, vex gop with zeal. fax men quiz bot, lick jar, vow gypsy hid. hurt waxy quiz begins joke, could move, fall. crown gypsum qat-jive walks, hex fad biz. _ other than Derrida, meaning: in flight "If I were optimistic enough on the subject, I would say that I see the journey of my brief existence as a journey in view of determining and naming the place from which I will have had the experience of exteriori- ty. And the anamnesis we were talking about at the outset, this anamnesis would be in view of identifying, of naming it--not effacing the exterior- ity, I don't think it can be effaced--but of naming it, identifying it, and thinking it a little better than I have done so far." - Derrida, There is No _One_ Narcissism, in Points, trans. Kamuf & others. And this in relation to an exteriority beyond exteriority, in relation, or brought up or into question or commentary, of the Judaic; one can see a differend at work within an _interiority_ here, a form of internal exile, but from what, if not a non-exile garnered only by an otherwise unidentified alt- erity. And in this regard, we notice again the hypnotic and its relation to non- or in-transitivity, alterity without an object, always, to the extent a representation, a misrecognition or misrepresentation, but one grounding, shifting the grounds, never called into question. I write of or on (the body of) this, a place I identify, to the extent it remains peripheral to identity, weak or fragile, almost invisible, certainly out of or one with, the imaginary. It is the premise or promise of the world at its horizon, as one pursues "one's" project - in spite of the fact that, deeply random or chaotic, a project remains just that, in pursuit of a goal, in pursuit of meaning as well. Meaning is always in flight; one writes within the gap. And culture is always already liminal, interstiti- al; death, of being and Beings, tending towards foundation, guarantee, contract, strategy. Writing into the void is the semblance of determina- tion, the substrate on the move. ___ some insects the ant dragged the grasshopper across the room. this is dumb. the ant put the grasshopper down. no this is dumb. the ant walked over the grasshopper. this is really dumb. the ant nudged the grasshopper a little bit. no this is the dumbest thing ever. the ant tickled the grasshopper with its head down. this is even dumber. the ant circled the grasshopper with its head down. this is dumber than since the beginning of the whole world. the ant walked away from the grasshopper. this is dumber than the entire universe and everything else. the ant left the room. no this is dumber than that and dumber than dumber than that. the ant left the room with the grasshopper. this is really really dumb. the ant dragged the grasshopper and left the grasshopper. this is dumber than everything and really really dumb and everything. the ant dragged the grasshopper and left the room. no this is dumber than dumber than everything than the whole world. the ant left the grasshopper. this is really really really dumb. ___ EL CID (culture intelligence demise) thinking about dinosaurs: the culture of dinosaurs (looking for materials, ignoring them - digging deeper in human-occupied caves, etc.) - why assume there is none? to the extent I imagine that any material found would be seen as a (later) occlusion - ignored - whereas it seems to me that, over a 160 million year period, culture would appear, create a situation for identifying families and groups etc., for surviving under widely-varying ecological niches and circumstances - intelligence of dinosaurs (assumption of reasonable brain size, given microcomputer ability to control large-scale entities) - why not assume some inordinately intelligent species, since intelligence, over a 160 million year period, would develop, again, for survival - reading back- wards through brain size / convolutions seems begging the question here - demise of dinosaurs (ethos of disappearance of 160 million years of evolu- tion catastrophically by the random crashing of a single two-mile piece of rock) - in any case, such a deeply literally senseless act of (what is inscribed as) violence certainly puts an end to all human aspirations and theological consequences thereof - two miles may be walked in half an hour at a quick pace - 160 million years, at least 80 times the length of human existence however defined - if compared to the historical period, incon- ceivable - how can this be possibly fathomed - any question here is beg- ging the question here - so culture, intelligence, demise, the three, El Cid, The Lord, in a way, in other words a strategy or mechanism indicative of worlds beyond worlds - did individual dinosaurs have names, early humans, australopithecines - we do seem very busy about our assignments - El Cid meandering in a land- scape of, what, and such sounds there were, one can only imagine something beyond our incessant roaring, syllables perhaps, eloquence and rhetoric of the highest order - how much do we read backwards, rear-projection-screen into monster and monstrosity? it seems that there must, somewhere, exist artifacts to prove my case - to be continued - ___ my goal, by franz kafka my goal, as a 3 kilometer asteroid hurtling towards earth, is to destroy the existing ecosystem by kicking up dust, rock, and whirlwind, darkening the skies, poisoning the air, churning up the water, and polluting the ocean. my goal is to eliminate all trace of life, which is difficult enough; however, i shall at least take care of the larger pieces. there are some furry mammals which are distinguished by a rather playful attitude towards just about everything; i'm certain these shall survive, no matter the quantity of hurled torrents or molten lavas. these mammals shall skip merrily about, but will lose their delicious dinosaur eggs; on the other hand, they'll learn quickly enough to gobble up embryos of flaccid dino-corpses, while chattering incessantly to each other. my goal, however, is to make this as difficult as possible, so that later human beings will look up at the sky and say, oh what a world. they do not realize that i am sentient, as driven as they are, not blind gravity, but by a desire to annihilate. every stone has its mandate, every speck of dust, its destiny. oh what nonsense i can write, "said nikuko, having finished her studious peroration. "The hand of even the most cautious operator was bound to be drawn into the cutter space if it slipped, particularly when, as often happened, the timber was hurled back (by the cutter block) while the operator was pres- sing the article to be planed against the table with one hand and feeding it to the cutter spindle with the other. This lifting and recoiling of the timber could not be anticipated nor prevented as it may have been due to gnarls or knots in the timber, to an insufficietly high cutting-speed, to warped cutters, or to uneven pressure of the operator's hands on the arti- cle." (Kafka, quoted in Max Brod, Franz Kafka, a Biography.) _ friday, nothing comes to mind: which means that there are no entailments, less innovation; nothing dredged from the past; no history, written or rewritten; no sudden inspirations, intuitions; nothing seems incomplete; there's no need in the wide dominion; it's not that things are finished, fulfilled, satiated; it's just that there's no draw, no pull, nothing out of the ordinary; no nagging conscience; it's just that things are as they are; it's just that nothing comes to mind. _ from above one day the gods were talking. they were in the spirit world, far above the earth., they looked down and saw men and women and children and horses beneath their feet. how can we do this, they said to one another. we have sore necks from looking down, our feet are in our way, we can't see very clearly, sometimes we fall over from dizziness, our feet are useless, we're just flailing in the air. the gods agreed, other ones saying, it's always sunny or dark here, we don't have any rain or snow or wind, there aren't any noises except our own, it's either too hot or too cold, our toes are always cold, it's awkward standing on nothing, we'll never get used to this. some of the other gods were talking. they can't hear us down there, we can't hear them very well either, everything's always underfoot, we can't even trip without falling into our beds, there doesn't seem to be any reason to go anywhere, we're always sliding all over the place anyway. some gods said, without friction beneath our feet it's really difficult to move about as well; when we shoot arrows, we're thrown backwards, when we make love, we have to hold onto each other for dear life, and to visit relatives is a major undertaking of slipping and dashing. some gods said, it's good to turn upside-down here, stand on our heads, it's a good trick, all those men and women and children and horses seem to be in heaven, we're just floating somewhere beneath them. some other gods were whirling and whirling around, trying to stop, their arms flailing in all direc- tions, a bit uncomfortable and dizzy. it's time to sleep said some of the other gods, and they lay down and went to sleep, their bodies floating about and nuzzling each other. it made the other gods tired, and they went to sleep a little bit later, they had this conversation before, it always went nowhere, and they were floating out of each other's hearing anyway. _ comfort home comfort home comfort home _ recycling older and older thoughts, i can't think of anything new, i'd want to repeat over and over again, i'd be one with the repetition of it, you'd hear it anew, you'd never know when it would stop. sometimes you might find yourself listening, and you might be thinking, well, i've heard this before, and you might, just then, find yourself hearing it again, and you might be wondering, did i just hear this, and you might find yourself thinking, i did hear this, just a moment ago, and you might be thinking, i never know when this will stop, i never know when this repetition will end, and you might find yourself listening and wondering, all through the end of it. recycling older and older thoughts, i would take comfort home in the thinking of them, i would be comfortable with the thinking of them, i'd be one with repeating them, i'd be one with repeating myself, all through the end of them, all through their coming to an end. _ don't you know all this new language? are you blind to this new language? do you understand this new language? will i have disappeared (lit. be one of the disappeared) before you are born? (for i won't be around to tell you, i won't be able to answer your questions, i won't be able to tell you anything new, you'll have only this from me, you'll have to make of it what you will.) you might find yourself reading this, you might find yourself making of it what you will, you might find yourself questioning, you might find an empty space, you might find yourself questioning, you might think of me, you might ask a question. __