further on my work - my work is not about avatars; it is not about jennifer, julu, nikuko. my work is not about sex or sexual objects. my writing floats through beings and sexualities, floats through different worlds with different physics, different neurophysiologies. my work is about the interrelationships among the symbols employed to comprehend, elucidate, live within, the world - and the consciousness which receives, transmits, and is constituted to some degree by such symbols. my work exists between the symbolic and the imaginary/fantasmic/uncanny - on one hand, protocols, etiquette, and pro- priety - and on the other, those very openings occasioned by avatars, sex- ualities, issues of dreamed bodies and bodies dreaming, trance-states, virtual subjectivities, electronic existences. (the work is not pornography, titillation, stories, parables; it is not a narrative of avatars or epistolary novel; neither of course is it what i say it is, or is not.) i am writing this in response to someone's kind backchannel response con- cerning my last textual posting - that it is difficult to pin down what these texts are, from what occasions they emerge, towards what horizons they move, however haltingly. consciousness moves, trembling, against great forces and happenstance; the asteroid, cancer, death, takes it all out. we exist and write/create with- in the meantime, meanwhile. and within this interstice, we inhabit phenom- enologies as if there were futures, eternities, truths. i write towards and against these futures, eternities, truths; i write as if there were no tomorrow, or as if we were always already inhabiting tomorrow as fantasm. i want to move towards and across, beyond the other, as if the other were a lure or possibility. i want to write into the void, where texts and images fall into space emptied of everything, including purity. and I want to see what happens in these non-domains; what types of perception and consciousnesses are possible; what the limits of the human, the animal, the organism, are; what may be said about the future of philosophy and the philosophy of the future - the textual body and the body of text - the state of the chiasm and partial objects, interpenetrations; what can be created when language is reconstituted, transformed, beneath the signi- fiers of technology, sexuality, capital, and so forth. i want to move into spaces that dis/comfort or exhilarate me, spaces that keep the sense of wonder alive, spaces that - at least for me - are new, and always beyond what i am able to accomplish. i want to see vistas, be vistas, see ... towards these ends i write daily into areas that both carry my signature and abandon it. i want to abandon, as much as possible, the foreclosure of ideological theorizing or a tendency towards the specificity of style or genre; what i want to do, i can't possibly accomplish, i keep writing ... ___ don't run up, don't approach! don't come near, don't tiptoe up! be off from me! disappear from me! get out of me! leave me alone! get away from me! now flee from me! depart from me! now away from me! begone from me! don't stay in me! don't reside in me! don't keep in me! don't live in me! don't be in me! don't stay in me! (modified from the akkadian) ____ separate the wheat from the chaff! separate the mother from the son! separate the father from the daughter! separate the husband from the wife! separate the branch from the tree! divide the multitudes! divide the storms of dust and wind! divide the water then divide the water! ____ what can i do with the water the water is around my daughter the water is around my daughter when can i do with the water i will taste the water around my daughter i will drink the water around my daughter the water around my daughter is in me the water around my daughter is in me my daughter is inside and outside my daughter is outside and inside daughter, keep me from dying daughter, keep me alive daughter, what can you do with the water the water is around me the water is around me daughter, what can you do with the water ay, ay, the water is around my daughter ay, ay, the water is around me ay, ay, the water is around my daughter ay, ay, the water is around me __ ghost is around here ghost is around here another ghost ghost is around another ghost is around here a ghost is around here another ghost is here a ghost is around here another ghost is around another ghost is here a ghost is around he another ghost is me around here another ghost is here a a ghost is around here another ghost is around another ghost is here a another ghost is around here a ghost is around here another ghost is here ghost is around here ghost is around here another ghost ghost is around ___ shinjuu, wa wa in the middle of our heart, wa wa in the midst of our hearts, wa wa inside heart, wa wa double suicide, wa wa you are inside my heart, wa wa i will kill myself, wa wa i will kill your ghost, wa wa your ghost is inside my heart, wa wa we will kill each other, wa wa be killed, wa wa will die. we will die, wa wa we will take our love in our heart, wa wa we will take our love inside each other, wa wa inside ourselves, wa wa our doubles, wa wa our own. we will own our hearts, wa wa our heart, wa wa our heart will be inside ourself, wa wa we will extinguish ourselves, wa wa inside our heart we will die, wa wa inside our heart we will kill our- selves, wa wa we will die inside our heart, wa wa i am inside your heart, wa wa you will kill yourself, wa wa you will kill our ghosts, wa wa jisatsu ... shinjuu, in the middle of our heart, in the midst of our hearts, inside heart, double suicide, you are inside my heart, i will kill myself, i will kill your ghost, your ghost is inside my heart, we will kill each other, be killed, will die. we will die, we will take our love in our heart, we will take our love inside each other, inside ourselves, our doubles, our own. we will own our hearts, our heart, our heart will be inside ourself, we will extinguish ourselves, inside our heart we will die, inside our heart we will kill ourselves, we will die inside our heart, i am inside your heart, you will kill yourself, you will kill our ghosts, jisatsu ... __ Short Bursts of Electronic Records Record 1, I'm going to keep my hands off you. I'm not going to ask your name, or anything. Don't worry, I'm not going near you. I want nothing whatsoever from you. There are several prepositions locating the two of us (i.e. in relation to each other) but I not (don't?) think of the two of us in any grouping whatsoever. Record 2, I won't get near you. I won't touch you. I want nothing to do with you whatsoever. I'll stay away from you. No prepositions will bring us together. You remain at a distance of indifference. That is all I can do. Record 3, Let d = infinity. Then 1*n = n; 0*n = 0; d*n =d. 0 and d, at two ends of the spectrum, are absorbers. Then 1, a form of spectral visita- tion, returns the same to the same, after the operation. Therefore I am 1 to you; 1*you is you, and this operation, this silent caress, remains invisible. Record 1, whatsoever. All of this must be understood whatsoever (this doubling of the word indicating a break or disconnection between records). Record 2, There is of course the question of addition, of general recur- sive functions, but all that is unnecessary (i.e. an afterthought). I won't go near you, even this speaking, this caress, is at a distance, and I remain spectral, spectral. Record 1, You never know when I arrive, but you may mark the date of my departure. Or you may never be sure I will not return. I have left the sky different. (Broken, almost forced into the machine. Do they know he or she has left. Who are they? Who is she? Who is he? Forced out of the mach- ine, recorded.) Record 2, But I will never get near you. You'll never see or hear me. I'll keep my hands off you. I'll keep far away from you. I won't look in your direction. I won't hear anything you say or see anything you do. I'll stay away from you. But I will never get near you (etc.). __ the root glom glom, glom onto, approaching, there's an enveloping, not quite, almost a withdrawal, closer to a fluid state, heady contact, there may be vacuum around here somewhere, clamp or clump, viscosity and bulging, indo-euro- pean gel-, gelatin, congeal, glue or clamp, something of a lump of stuff, dreams separate gloming, well that's taken care of, what moves on is an identity, there's nothing untoward, it's toward, it's what i'm thinking - of - gloom perhaps, mud of day, conglomerate of capital - clammy - some- thing of the uncanny __ Speed Text Swallowing Two articles in two days: One on Net relationships, one on my personal online history. I do not know what else I could write on "at this rate of speed" - what else has happened to me in such a way that all that exists is a _recounting._ To write at speed is to have the narrative present and under control, all in advance - to have apperceived the issues, entiti- ties, processes, and structures - to have the investment and cathecting ready-at-hand for the retelling. Of course the retelling, like any other, is a process of reconstituting - one might better say a process of consti- tution, since the original is always already lost. This is not a case of the record or records; the records can supply, at best, an armature or con/ figuration. Instead, think of a high-speed gloss either emerging from the records, or submerging the records. Think as well of the category of the glib, the well-rounded phrase or anecdote, the emphasis placed just so within the fabric of a tale. It is like that when recounting, even with different styles, demographics, resources, introductions: We are tailor- made for each other. I mean to edify as well as entertain, to entertain as well as edify. How else can one conceivably learn? __ gnamen sun has two compartments, turn it upside down, eye h as three, middle trembles, turns, nothing to hear, o f three, uncalling, so oka y, turned over, no telling , what, glom, doubled ___ I shall bear silent witness. That means I shall not speak, I shall not be able to speak. It also means: I shall not comprehend; I shall find these events, these people, incomprehensible. Nevertheless, I shall remember, and I shall continue to remember. This means, I shall build my memory out of mortar and bricks, I shall make my memory out of human labor. This also means: I shall remember until all is lost, until I am no longer. This also means: There is nothing to give you but incomprehension. I shall bear silent witness. ii Jennifer is frail; Jennifer is all skin and bones. Jennifer is a collec- tion and an accumulation. Jennifer is momentary, momentary Jennifer. She remembers for me. She speaks and speaks, and when she no longer speaks, she is no more. She speaks because I am alive; she speaks to keep me alive. I am exhausted with her speech. She speaks to keep me alive; I shall bear silent witness. iii The longer one lives, the greater the bearing of witness. At death, the bearing is infinite, silent. The knowledge of the witness is mute. The witness will tell you, there is none other. I shall bear silent and infinite witness. ___ if my skiff hits yours and we are sailing on a sea of dreams; and the reflection of the moon's singularity spreads across waters troubled by the collision, that such a reflection is also refracted in such a manner as the luminescence of dreams if beneath ourselves, disturbed by such collision, tremors arise, if such occur, the violence of our nightly affairs carries through our lives and those of our descendents and who, dreaming, would i imagine such, what we have down in this life, so unremarkable, so much of a potency, the skiff, the waters black with ripples, the glimpse of moon's sphere, trembling, sounds of creaking boards, tall mast, furled sails, in night's dark wind, elements of boat and water gleaming, and descending __ Sonnet And does When in Despair with Fortune and Men's Eyes, I all Alone Beweep my Outcast State, From there to Fly so Blindly in Your Mind, Your Jewel Gives to Me A Fairer Light, Then Curved, Your Name, I Leave my Fate behind, Tend towards a Far Far Better Sight, Than I have Ever-Gone Before; O Nikuko, I Hear the Wind-God's Roar, to you? From there to Fly so Blindly in Your Mind, Your Jewel Gives to Me A Fairer Light, Then Curved, Your Name, I Leave my Fate behind, Tend towards a Far Far Better Sight, Than I have Ever-Gone Before; O Nikuko, I Hear the Wind-God's Roar: I Follow Through, My Love, My Ghost, Her Eyes, Up towards the Shrine Enshrined, I signed my Fate: When in Despair with Fortune and Men's Eyes, I all Alone Beweep my Outcast State, Do take My Soul Beyond: Despondent, Hurled, the Goddess, Dark, of Death, Takes Shattered Bones and Flesh, Enmeshed in Shattered Breath, Hark and Respond! ___ winter lake the surface thin as ice, emblems just beneath the surface, signifiers, others as well; object petit a swimming, lacanian shifters against fou- cauldian divinatio; BARTHES GIVE ME A SIGN; levinasian alterity is every- where in this meager world; holderlinian and solzhenitsynian archipelag- os; TRUTHS ARE FETED, SARTRE; calling for a new science of materials; MY DEPRESSION VIOLATES MY EYES; it lies there in a feint of taussiginian proportions; IT MOVES TO THE SIDE; deconstruction wets the ice; IT IS NEVER SUFFICIENT; there are unknown strata; BLADES SOAR; i could tell you stories for hours; husserlian temporality lies in sheaves; I CANNOT SEE THROUGH YOUR IMAGINARY; paste; detachment; separation; GIVE ME A SIGN, GIVE ME A SIGN; it is another night of suicide on this wider earth; I STARE IN SPACE YOU STARE IN; of stars and bleakness; THE STORM; nijinski- an pathos, bad deeds are terrible and i hate them; EARTH WIDER EARTH; kristeven chora-markings on the frozen surface; BENEATH, BENEATH; these lost, meltings; these drownings; these fractures; these pummeled vertic- es; MY MIND IS FOR SALE; these heideggerian demarches; these krausian ex- postulations; these sondheimian; __ out of the dark clitoris = Jud / Jew in Freud's Vienna - masturbation = playing with the Jew - the Jew buried deep within Jennifer's clitoris - as if a _smock_ - phenomenology of the smock - nubbed surface, sensitization - parallels with the prepuce unmasked, blunted, conical, blind head of searched / scanned body - mired, abject - dirty filthy Jew - down _there_ - the whole world _down there_ - not going to look _down there_ - closing eyes and legs - hands around the _neck_ - look to the Jew - cut or buried within the labia, secret surroundings of the Jew - the cat- astrophe of the _passive_ - always present, guidance or response to the world - look to the Jew - crafty, running the street (?) - the money in the labia - soft enfolding flesh of the Jew - rubbing the Jew - rubbing Jennifer rubbing Jennifer - that nub again - "Under the hot desert sun many evils can befall the sexual organ." Look around, the Jew is _there_ - the source of your hidden pleasure - to be taken - then, how could anyone want to be born a Jew? - notice, there's something _unwholesome_ about my writing - contagions - - disreputable - kept out of the best clubs - you'll always find me _down there_ - contamination - stuff coming to the surface - phenomenology of _stuff_ - (bio: Nordau, Degeneration; Gilman, Freud, Race, and Gender; Gilman, Jewish Self-Hatred: Anti-Semitism and the Hidden Language of Jews; Theweleit, Male Fantasies.) _ ghosts if there were ghosts, they'd be hammering at our doors, all hours of the day and night. at least half the ghosts would have reasons to seek us out, beg us for a moment's contact, set things right again. signs of contact would be everywhere, and the world would be in the throes of constant mur- muring. it would not be so perfect on the other side as to lead to aband- onment. that atmosphere itself would be filled with shimmers for all to see. oh mother you would answer my tears. sickness would be accompanied by slight touches, the slightest, so welcoming and comforting. you would know you would live long after. there would be but the slightest of smiles behind every frown. those who were ill-disposed towards others would be visited by wrathful ghosts. we should not be so ill-disposed. they would interfere with us in all our daily lives. exhortations would come from all sides. our bewild- erment would be at the bequest of others. we would turn to ghosts. we would be so careful because there would always be ghosts around. ghosts could not hid, there would be so many. we would turn towards kindly ghosts. we would see those ghosts. we would hear those ghosts. ghosts of men and women, ghosts of plants and animals and children, ghosts of bacteria and of all the kingdoms of organisms on this and every other place in our universe. we would see and hear and touch and smell those ghosts of all creatures and all worlds; we would sense their heat and our minds would welcome them and fear them. think of the ghosts of half-formed seas, ghosts of algal mats, ill-formed ghosts, ghosts of our ancestors generation upon generation. think of our imminent ghosts, ghosts of our mothers and fathers, friends and siblings, murmuring, leaving traces, populating the air, waves of ghosts, hordes of ghosts. think of ghosts interpenetrating ghosts, the flowing of ghosts through walls and doors, ceilings and floors; we would turn kindly towards kindly ghosts, and fearful towards wrathful ghosts, and who among us would know the consequences of all our actions and thoughts in these our lives? if there were ghosts, they would be calling for us, and all of us would respond, would yearn for that freedom from daily care, worries, sickness, and deaths, that haunt us so. fictions of the flowing of ghosts, poems of their translucency. ___ man bent over wa wa lust empty dirt white pleasure of azure sky against exquisite woman bent over in unworking place with roof X wa wa emptied lust in sky unworking place of various sorts in sky place with roof subtropic of graceful odd woman of the very few _ humans if there were humans, they'd be hammering at our doors, all hours of the day and night. at least half the humans would have reasons to seek us out, beg us for a moment's contact, set things right again. signs of contact would be everywhere, and the world would be in the throes of constant mur- muring. it would not be so perfect on the other side as to lead to aband- onment. that atmosphere itself would be filled with shimmers for all to see. oh mother you would answer my tears. sickness would be accompanied by slight touches, the slightest, so welcoming and comforting. you would know you would live long after. there would be but the slightest of smiles behind every frown. those who were ill-disposed towards others would be visited by wrathful humans. we should not be so ill-disposed. they would interfere with us in all our daily lives. exhortations would come from all sides. our bewild- erment would be at the bequest of others. we would turn to humans. we would be so careful because there would always be humans around. humans could not hid, there would be so many. we would turn towards kindly humans. we would see those humans. we would hear those humans. humans of men and women, humans of plants and animals and children, humans of bacteria and of all the kingdoms of organisms on this and every other place in our universe. we would see and hear and touch and smell those humans of all creatures and all worlds; we would sense their heat and our minds would welcome them and fear them. think of the humans of half-formed seas, humans of algal mats, ill-formed humans, humans of our ancestors generation upon generation. think of our imminent humans, humans of our mothers and fathers, friends and siblings, murmuring, leaving traces, populating the air, waves of humans, hordes of humans. think of humans interpenetrating humans, the flowing of humans through walls and doors, ceilings and floors; we would turn kindly towards kindly humans, and fearful towards wrathful humans, and who among us would know the consequences of all our actions and thoughts in these our lives? if there were humans, they would be calling for us, and all of us would respond, would yearn for that freedom from daily care, worries, sickness, and deaths, that haunt us so. fictions of the flowing of humans, poems of their opacity. __ Night, Online in Kyoto Shadows struggle against the dark and stormy weather. I gouge their out- lines; I forgive them their fury. But I do not speak and I am not respon- sible. I learn from the book "All About Shadows" that I must be wary, need not be caring, need only read what I want to read - that the world is better left alone, that my very life is an interference. I learn that I am permanently broken, that bones don't suture, that flesh only heals and reheals itself, that scars cover scars. When you say "keep together, swal- low dirt, eat each other," I need go no farther than the soaking walls and falling plaster. I learn this body is bound. I learn about writing through my book "All About Binding." I learn I do not have to respond to you. I learn I can close myself off, huddle in this leaking room, severed from the direct blast of the weather, that your online cries are avoidable, that I cannot save the world, that there is no longer any world to be saved. I read in my book "All About Naming" that I need not name, that I can live as if drowned in raging weather. But I do not speak and I am not responsible. I learn from the book "All About Shadows" that I must be wary, need not be caring, need only read what I want to read - that the world is better left alone, that my very life is an interference! sl 7 b 8 zz ocip 9 sl 01 b 11 ll liat 21 zz ocip 31 sl 41 h 51 uluj 61 sl 71 zz > ecart. ver ;DNEPPA mr 81 zz ocip 91 zz llepsi 02 ecart. ssel 12 ecart. mr 22 __ anthology for takuboku batteries going down, tracks heading nowhere, groping for one last image waiting to bloom, then no memory, nothing inside the sun you wouldn't believe how hot it is. sometimes the plasma god comes by, perhaps it's not the same as before, talking's lost, i don't remember, it's both dark and light. i may be someone else. inside the sun just like the earth, you'd want to put a light to it. i don't know what you'd see, most of the universe is invisible, we skim the surface of the surface, can't fathom the depths, it's like that everywhere, i don't remember. gone, and powered down horseshoe crab upside-down suffocating in air i turn it over evolution still the same horseshoe crab neither a horseshoe nor a crab walking fifteen-twenty miles on earth, sand, water waking me, 3.a.m. checking plants for insects there are no plants there are no insects i am function(x), doing it to something variable, unknown can't sleep, biggest pill in the whole wide world won't put me there wind outside breath inside i carry tomorrow today something about the knees and yesterday nowhere near a computer where azure is i want to be, purified, just once, without a worry without a care last night, deer on the porch hooves wood-clattering, tonight, uneasy wind tomorrow, holocaust city __ leaf uneasy wind tonight, quarrel with my bookseller, that's it quarrel with my father, again that's close to it quarrel on the lists with everyone offline quarrel with myself give me a job and i'll agree with you give me a little bit of money and i'll be the nicest person around give me healthcare, dental, eyes and ears, i'll be your greatest friend give me suicide, let me relax a bit offline think how nice and softly everything would end azure gives me time and space to breathe in i feel like a weight with her, don't want to bring her down i want to lightly soar, she'll come along just fine i want to soar with her, no quarrel, big money, air sonnets go nowhere, i'm always surprised how they continue on, how one writes and writes as if every line were a premise or a promise a premise to build a promise from the past a promise to build a premise in the future light is always fading, i'd like to run away from electricity i'd like to make this into a great poem, but it's not it's barely readable, it's something i'd ignore while dying if death is my companion, this poem's already gone poems and lives are far too long already the whales are dying, the whales are dying the deer are killing the whales, shrew are killing the deer look at that red maple! look at it! _ "every third beat of my heart" i wrestled with the angels julu and jennifer every third beat of my heart wrestled with the angels and placing the world in a bag twisted and tied at two ends in a bladder canteen in the moment of truth every little twist of my heart they bowed down before us julu and jennifer in white robes did they bow down every third beat of my heart they filled the white pillars with song filled the white rafters with song every third beat of my heart i knew the messages and the answers of angels knew the songs of those in white robes wrestled with julu and wrestled with jennifer momentous occasions and placing the universe every little beat of my heart every third beat of my heart that the every third beat went from one to the other that the every third beat skipped from one to the other that laces twined sinuously from julu to jennifer every little beat of my heart every third beat of my heart ___ The Promise This image of Nikuko in suspension, or the camera itself suspended, taking up very little bandwidth - lure, I'm coming towards you Working in the dark, worrying about access - who can see these, who has the means, the time for downloading? What percentage of the world's population can greet this image, comprehend this english text? - lure, I'm getting closer Most of the world, not having made a phone-call, having little access to electricity - lure, you can see almost all of me now Or those elite around the world, in unknown capital cities - they have "western goods," demarcate themselves, foreclosing - one might almost say Internet Here and There - Internet as Suppression / Repression - the substitution of one for another - the reification of substitution, hard- ening of lines - lure, I'm wearing close to nothing I want to know about you. I want to tell you about me. I want to get to know you - lure, my clothing's gone, I'm yours You will find me so very high up. You will find me leaning into you. I will take you home with me - lure, I need to eat, drink, fuck There will be much bandwidth - lure, I'm coming, I'm coming - Nikuko [ Part 2, "image" Image/JPEG 31KB, Nikuko Suspended. ] [ Unable to print this part. ] __ discovery of the wheel aniPN LUGALmelech abiPNP LUGALGALn ar'yehV(FUT)bkolmakom(PREP) ch'dash(Y'IR URUK ki) ha'yom(UD) | saru rabu sar sarrani(LUGAL melech) MAPITOM(exp) ma zeh GALGALn MA ZEH(emph) xsayaTHiya(NP) vazraka(NP) | rotzeh(PV) GALGALn GALGALn | vajra(NP) | GALGALn sar kissati(DN) | GALGALNn GALGALn GALGALn | << __ Talker Give me a name: Nikuko New user... Welcome Nikuko... You're a USER Room: Portal You are all alone here. Access is fixed to PUBLIC and there are 5 messages on the board. No topic has been set yet. Hello here! What shall I do? Hello hello! You exclaim: Hello here! What shall I do? Hello hello! Someone must be my very friend! Is my very friend here! You exclaim: Someone must be my very friend! Is my very friend here! I shall go to Jennifer! You exclaim: I shall go to Jennifer! .g Jennifer Room: Jennifer Jennifer room of landscapes and couplings, you come together with the other, you come towards the other, you link to the other, you begin your speaking, you begin your unspeakable... You are all alone here. Access is set to PUBLIC and there are 0 messages on the board. No topic has been set yet. Hello I am here in Jennifer! You exclaim: Hello I am here in Jennifer! Jennifer, I crawl through your throat! You exclaim: Jennifer, I crawl through your throat! Now I will come out the mouth of Jennifer! You exclaim: Now I will come out the mouth of Jennifer! .e dangles from the Mouth of Jennifer! Nikuko dangles from the Mouth of Jennifer! .e kisses Jennifer from way Inside! Nikuko kisses Jennifer from way Inside! Bye Jennifer! You exclaim: Bye Jennifer! .echo Jennifer says Goodbye! Jennifer says Goodbye! .echo You are so good inside me, Nikuko! You are so good inside me, Nikuko! .echo Jennifer exclaims: I love you madly! Jennifer exclaims: I love you madly! Bye! You exclaim: Bye! .wet Jennifer .wet Nikuko .echo you're breathless, Nikuko, .echo you're breathless Jennifer, .echo, moves faster than the speed of light, .echo, you're beautiful in your panties, Jennifer, .echo you're more beautiful in your panties, Nikuko, .echo, we're leaving now, .echo, I can't hold my breath any longer, .echo I love you madly madly!, .echo I love you more! __ t3 nikuko .read e .w .desc nikuko bargirl-demiurge .w .map .g jennifer .rew .rev .g portal .g julu .rev .g portal .rev .rev .l .g attic .rev .g portal .g office .rev .read .write thank you for leaving them jennifer .g portal .g classroom .rev .g portal .g collaboratorium .g portal .g portal .rev My name is nikuko; I'm forlorn. I can't do anything here in the portal. I can't leave the portal, I can't return to the portal. "The Portal is my Enemy." I'm tired of roaming these halls. I'm back in the portal. I'm back in the Portal. I can't say anything through my hands; labor eats away my hands; I hunger for your hands; my mouth speaks through my hands; my mouth carries the sweat of my blood; blood spurts from my hands; I carry your signs upon me; jennifer! jennifer! .l .g hall .rev .g portal .g portal .g one .g jennifer .g portal .rev .rev nikuko bargirl-demiurge .q _ tango bi bi bi baah di dah bi bi bi dah dah oh you do overthrow the one dah dah dah di bi baa whose heart has lost its way bi bi baah di dah bi bi bi dah dah my heart has shattered on the spikes of the moon di dah bi bi bi dah bah dah bi the moon is sharp the sun is round bi bi di di baah my heart is ill-shapen not like a stereotype dah dah dah di bi baa my heart has lost its way look at it di dah bi bi bi dah bah it looks like a bodily organ bah di di di bah di dah i love you wildly dah dah dah di bi baa it doesn't look like anything at all di dah bi bi bi dah bah can't get over it di dah bi bi bi dah bah dah bi oh you do overthrow the one whose heart has lost its way bi bi baah di dah bi bi dah dah dah __ do wah wah do wah wah do wah wah di di do wah wah do wah wah do wah wah di di johnny youre too young do wah wah do wah wah do do wah do wah wah do wap wo do wap do wah wah di di do wah wah dip do wah wah do wah di di di do wah wap do wah wap do wap do wap do wah wah di di but i wanna get married wah do wah wah do wap di wah wah wah do do wah wah do do wahp di wah wah di do wah wah do wah wah do wah wah di di do wah wah do wah wah di do wap wap wap wah do di wah wap youre too young wap do wap wap wap do wap di di wap di wap di di wap di wap do wah wah wah do wah wah do wah wah do wap di di do wah wah do wah wah do do wah do wah wah do wap wo wo do wap do wo wo wah wah di di do wah wah do wap wap di di do wap wap my name will carry do wap di wap wap do wap do wo do wo wo dap di wap wo dap dap do wah wah do wa di di do wo wap wah dah wi do wo wap di wap wap do wap do wah wah do wah wah wah do wah wah do wap wo do wap do wah wah di di do wah wah dip __ please no more abuse! friends, you are my best friends, you are always forgiving, I love you, may we come to you, Niku ko loves you as well, Ni kuko has said she loves you, you are most wonder ful, I will talk with yo u always, I will so feel so very close to you, yo u will be my family drea m, I will share you so kindly, Nikuko loves you so very much she will g ive you her name, please do write to Nikuko, plea se do make her feel so f ine, please, it will be so wonderful if you write " Nikuko" tvuiy@gqstv.com, "Nikuko" ucpyk@jntbh.ed u, "Nikuko" ikyooy@edcri.ed u, "Nikuko" gwcots@fp.gf mvu.edu, wrnci@slmz.qjes.vbxuxgl. com "Nikuko" tmlbx@nffkw zp.saboczsk.org, "Nikuko " yhdi1@tk0g.com, p9xpf@b6 .com "Nikuko" nzxs@jagzd sx.org, "Nikuko" egyrea@mxyog.com, "Nikuk o" sas@xysay.com wbkzlb@ vp.edu, "Nikuko" fuimj@ksl.com, "Nikuko" wvk55kx8@nddxwb.com, "Ni kuko" gunb@wgw.edu, qfdq@shoifh.org, "Nikuko " w6p7zj@g48ysdbp.fi "Ni kuko" jvlg@pgdi.com, "Nikuko" xb5f@emfd7c.s5. edu, spekiueo@guuw.edu, "Nikuko" ytjtxd@lguqqcb.edu, "Nik uko" zjsszui@itcokhp.edu , "Nikuko" rgef@en.com qlafxzcg@fyvj.edu, "Niku ko" ighhmsq@yqvbi.- org, "Nikuko" qdgyiq@gmyyncj.com vs@em qpq.qntdw.com, "Nikuko" yrtyejm@wgape.aoaavcyk.a glxty.edu, "Nikuko" fz@n 34.ovrd6e.com, zywee@sn.com, "Nikuko" g vozy@mnvp.com, "Nikuko" vwfn@tzmyi.com, "Nikuko" gkb@rmgq.nge.com, ly@evg fbl.edu, "Nikuko" cielr@ wlxvyywl.org, "Nikuko" geomkk@ponqqznn.vutodajs .edu h9gyfilw@mdeoa.edu, "Nikuko" pebnfmub@fyia.com, "Niku ko" htfdvos@zqi.edu buvp io@fnovthly.com, "Nikuko " iqeqvaik@bumq.mbnccaiw.t enyuq.org dbvr@bsuiaq.jt sjfq.com, "Nikuko" gyeym@twbsui.gov, "Nikuk o" osuzkzwz@uddqyt.edu, byvkl@jizflr.xxpbz.edu, "Nikuko" dzxong@uyohqs.c om "Nikuko" gnfmemts@wba vz.edu, gduct@xzlenrbm.edu, "Nik uko" vyabe@ulgr.oqyq.com , "Nikuko" w7@0gfep68.ed u, "Nikuko" bsszay@phnf.com GPBO2Z@R8YK.com, "Nikuk o" chxeee@wgmdr.edu, "Nikuko" h6o@flf.teokf.c om "Nikuko" zi13g@x4u74r .edu, zpnpa@fqzdcnb.com, "Nikuko" uctebt@wuohnho. com "Nikuko" pesmo@mkr.c om, icyv@kxeo.koljste.co m, "Nikuko" hc9jc2@rb1l.com "Nikuko" jshpad@ii.com, "Nikuko" bkznhe@mgvy.co m, sdaey@igxiy.com, "Nikuko " hqtrp@tlcafbh.nvsm.com , "Nikuko" iyfa@smi.com, eigvd@bibbyjhp.lmk.com " Nikuko" rlav@unryqdna.co m, "Nikuko" argaunkv@ubofgp.org, wby uuzh@qdas.edu "Nikuko" f uw@dnsde.org, "Nikuko" ngzko@cyzcu.com, "Nikuko " vkabv@gyi.com pl@pktvc o.com, "Nikuko" a9a7@r4t3.edu, "Nikuko" qwhwori@obatt.com zydwct @tszmu.fklh.nymrhclm.org , "Nikuko" qnwvp@qepqq.com , "Nikuko" dtlesnr@wgmo. com, hbgfifoi@dsywp.ybf.com, "Nikuko" gq91li@sbayto2. org "Nikuko" lkxb@wvull.idtz.com, mza hdj@tlireos.llwomhk.com, "Nikuko" cfus@fgw.edu, "Nikuko" dqcpoikq@gtld.x wmt.mciv.org r3kxt63@vus 5jhr.d8sxpj.org, "Nikuko " p9ptik4a@egatz.com, "Nik uko" iwzwbf@ekuf.drg.edu , bcyn@oqobahz.jgxjlzn.edu , "Nikuko" qwd@xifho.aqh b.com "Nikuko" srinq@bvbmemwk.org, idrj hq@vpuvp.com, "Nikuko" m soe@ye.vvdo.edu "Nikuko" b9d26n1@mus.gf6sk.edu, t ysua@mzqfbx.clac.pfzwb.c om, "Nikuko" jqdkpktx@aekxzd.edu, "Ni kuko" rnptdu@vopq.edu, r athvv@lsebs.edu, "Nikuko " zfhv@sq.edu, "Nikuko" hi onu@dkahj.com, "Nikuko" hxd@bosjg.com hvvcjnx@hzgblck.tyunt.ye nxuos.org, "Nikuko" kbi@ vonm.edu, "Nikuko" yvxlm@uurth.com, kypu@qc g.ubji.edu, "Nikuko" omc hv@fr.vsqbvwag.com, "Nikuko" iat@vlmirvd.com , "Nikuko" tjahd@kfs.com , wfwury@efmi.com, "Nikuko" rmhajdl@gnxedou .edu, "Nikuko" malje@puz jdtn.jloekz.hvjny.edu dhblmr@vijgfxyl.com, "Ni kuko" zucde@mzgphyg.com, "Nikuko" am@vtrt.com "Nikuko" kmmtagih@nowjw. org, n1f@ldqc4y8.tu0a.kz .com, "Nikuko" lojcdxr@vjomcek.com, "Ni kuko" ja@dv.edu, ueuun7m p@dv95.com, "Nikuko" qpgmf@ikupz.com, "Nikuko " hi@wbvh.edu, "Nikuko" cunk@jqgv.ppwcqgmr.edu zcudy@zooov.rms.fbw.com, "Nikuko" gfnjc@ivccpg.c om, "Nikuko" wbo@hmupwn.com "Nikuko" rzmh@oua.edu, zzalqnol@y whcg.snob.com, "Nikuko" suuekqr@qppz.com "Nikuko " evvhdxmf@tjz.edu, jurtep@hoymr.fwrqiixp.hj ala.org, "Nikuko" fij@ve hmle.edu, hkd@yjdwr.oam.vivnut.com , "Nikuko" zhqacdih@mxiu o.rexi.yktezs.com, bnruzq@yf.yh.com, "Nikuk o" smipm@cbniy.iwgzv.did vc.com, "Nikuko" hvl7uyh@rrrq.cbvi.edu, j ktnf@voea.org "Nikuko" q alk@acivzj.com, "Nikuko" pyyy@tiuccnz.org, "Nikuk o" wjxfgg@sbcfcd.com, eu ui@dxbzlltf.edu, "Nikuko " eflc@aqmk.com, "Nikuko" jhkl@ya.bjtlv.morud.edu, "Nikuko" rihi@hfdaq.com , hgqgfyp@lcgqq.com, "Niku ko" jx@eisg.com, "Nikuko " yiqgp@tyugtm.kjjhwa.ed u, gqgqt@ohqmvc.tanao.edu " Nikuko" lwugvw@zuorcdy.c om, "Nikuko" fwyekd@bxyeurx.ag.qio.co m cicbey@vhpjftg.edu, "N ikuko" pcwr@ptuk.gov, "Nikuko" ceflev@spzzc.ed u "Nikuko" ywtj@bowft.co m, kfucp@idg.bim.dsitfu.com , "Nikuko" qvvbl@szuahp. com "Nikuko" xcesrde@zpn.com, pnwrsfy @jarqpqn.com, "Nikuko" t znp0zh@u4mfz.edu "Nikuko " 1zinj@bkb2y.edu, ayrjtnv t@xwvsmd.com, "Nikuko" t dzlme@ki.com "Nikuko" ccvoa@iph.wivhs.mwxnyjro .edu no it,s not' it really never was' oh' noble chorus' it,s never ever been' i,m never ever found' i,m never ever here' so no it,s not' and never ever was' i,m a christian and a virgin' i,m a christian and a version' we never ever were' we,d never ever been' oh no it,s not' "great big world like a great big bubble" something to see out there' oh no it,s not' it,s never never been a "great big world like a great big bubble" no it,s not' julu __ NEW PEOPLE! COME AND USE THE NEW PEOPLE! SOME GREAT ADDRESSES AND NEW DOMAIN NAMES FOR EVERYONE! USE THESE AS YOU PLEASE, HAVE FUN WITH THEM! MAKE MONEY NOW! USE THESE TO MAKE MONEY! EASY MONEY DOMAIN NAMES! TERRIFIC GREAT ADDRESSES AND DOMAIN NAMES FOR YOU! NO PAYMENT REQUIRED! OUR PLEASURE IS IN YOUR USE! aesnlr@oetar.nik isu@irua.jul tat@otussssl.instir.nnae.jul eaeao@en.jul elesao@enessie.sen.erarnuu.jul lnieeneo@eseeu.org otoulse@en.nik elesiso@elanste.reseuto.toooou.org iat@ieunn.jul eieaan@ilstia.org eoer@rletst.jen tisasl@arolo.jul uuor@sorsii.org na@arrn.org rtrt@ts.nik esat@oo.jul asdl3s8y@l9wm.org iss@rietneus.jul esele@oiet.nik lo@iaoeo.org esec6o3y@t2o5b.jul rearu@lruua.nik slaas@reuii.nik roeo@nnansnoo.nael.jul esis@iusiu.jul easa@ati.stsaon.jul ureeur@eininr.nik eaiiilet@eolto.org esmmra4@sns.lb1ayt4o.nik eiaroenn@nsaeroel.naleia.nik tien@areea.sti.nik et@itoes.nik ens@ileno.irnlus.jen aesaro@etui.org eust@nternu.org ettit@eeitesar.nik aianse@rnetu.jul e1n4b@t685.jul eetae@sotlls.aln iee@ietst.nik u9r@a2w.aln leiene@olotna.nik ailir@rntl.org l3raww6@i2m.nik iset@ttiraasr.nik aelara@rrenr.nik lrtoet@stite.nriuni.nik isue@at.iusron.org e7a22@elye.nik ortr8123@eewt42.nik iulena@ltleu.etalnt.allt.org trrl@eresat.jul ouslsnr@slllnoil.nik liis@aauai.uoeitns.nik oats@tanon.jul art@eatoi.irilise.nik us@nli.nik luoo@suon.org oeteel@iee.lst.nik a00m@nal26m6l.jul em9n@uo6o8.jul nealsis@teis.jul itosura@ersr.nik lntru@tteel.nik eetauaa@sirntnre.jen nnus@eieae.jul sulsl@aaetlt.nik aui@tanla.jul aieiana@lliti.jul noateinl@eelsoei.ntooeell.nik eoa@esi.onuasr.jul nei@oernu.jen nsiae@uliu.nik i2lcm676@enw4mm4.jul ilasliii@natu.nik o8dn8oy@inewadt.nnt3a7n1.t9l5.nik oasarou@euirlas.org itt@iotli.jul octc@orc87l.tt0m.nik uasro@oern.org eeolsi@ilirt.nik aueasaun@iuooela.jul oetesu@nraro.jul reru@trrr.teti.jul sulan@aunu.jul teess@tetee.nik oeulo@ale.uoeuno.nik stsslotl@assrlne.eoleo.ineuurt.org otnnreu@eletuel.seasre.jul liei@ir.enalt.org nlnee@ealautln.org r76b0d@nc2.e96n.t9.nik tsu@rnsiun.ttiot.rlre.org asiuat@seea.jul re@aeiels.roean.orso.nik noerr@ueettt.org ioi@lei.nik oant@ar.eat.jul rea@eenti.snnls.ieaue.jul t4w2@r2s1cb.jul rrs@antterer.org roele@leu.jul rees@aunitune.nik surtls@uniener.nik nno@tuaueo.oueuntn.jul roreano@rieoo.aaeel.nik eilunue@lreen.nik m930@mrb3m.n5ly1bwn.nik rrlnesu@nuesiai.jul aesr@nuoe.nat.sex laelia@iltsn.etersu.jul rtns@oauieeoe.nik LM1T34W7@SYCNBA.nik iw74c4wc@st.s6yo.jul ru@aeeeir.eneroeel.nik rriuesou@srsnee.jul ateeit@loe.org en@siosa.nik ruio@taeua.jul a4sbb6@lw.u3023r.sa48mn.jul ieou@nnu.nnntli.jul salai@etera.nik ilirn@realslii.nik lsso6@nw9t.nik inrarn@urns.jul slrilei@snoelten.jul urn@eeuals.terro.nik aeeo@ort.ulrur.jul sulsso@elretol.jul aslluor@renueau.eeon.nik at1tn9@tbe82.e38.nik t79@ed09by1.lse8.nik iits@rln.nik l917l10@a503w1on.em.jul ta@etla.ulainn.nik es@urerauln.nik stts@ior.nik alr@sea.jul trele@liritrse.aua.org euslls@llssar.jul ranllis@rlos.nik un@re.ees.org tsiiiso@nsueesl.nik ou@iee.tte.nik aieaorau@ruul.nik ueni@eaun.jul uttnt@lsselri.iatiao.org reoe@rossa.eslri.org uaras@luaanns.nik THANK YOU! OUR PLEASURE IS YOUR USE! __ JennjuluMachine Welcome to Jennjulu IV Version 2.0! We have added even more features to the world's best-selling grammar and style checker. We know you will find it's more powerful and easy to use than ever. This tour shows you the Jennjulu interface and the essentials of interactive grammar and style checking. Whatever the task might be, both the occasional writer and the seasoned terrific strange person coming here with dark visage and equally dark cloak professional achieves immediate results with Jennjulu's soph- isticated editing environment. Interactive checking is the most effective, creative, and enjoyable way to combine grammar and style checking with your writing process. Jennjulu works with you sentence by sentence to correct errors and enhance your writing style. Since the strange and dark visage people programs natural- ly assume you have spelled each hungering and dark-cloaked person whose words are spelled as words correctly, we suggest you use our improved spelling dictionary. Jennjulu can then analyze the sentence, assigning parts of speech and looking for grammar, usage, and other errors. She stooped over, carefully picking her way across the fields of dark red- black flowers, collecting helpful statistics along the way on elements such as passive voice and sentence length. Unless you write newspaper or advertising copy, it is best to avoid one- sentence paragraphs, and you fall in love with her, and her slim fingers, and you are reminded of them by a patient Jennjulu until you do this auto- matically, in addition finding sentences so long they are hard to follow. As with this woman and her flowers beneath a starless night, such are the clouds that darken the horizon, so shall these flowers last until their errors, blood-red-black and thorns, black-grey-black, have disappeared... Correcting long sentences is often just a matter of separating two sub- jects, or editing out unnecessary modifiers. Some writing problems are more difficult to correct, though. How often have you asked yourself if you should use "he" or "him," or "we" or "us?" We may think only other people make these mistakes, but both you and I can overlook simple errors. She said to me, this was later, after we had gone the long ride together, It's that we think as we write. I knew this referenced the signifier... If the thought changes in mid-sentence, the two parts don't always match up. Sometimes, while struggling with her to explain an idea, you think of the right words, but put them where they don't belong. You may have considered writing a piece about her preventative medicine - there was much to say. Her lips were the color of rubies, her eyes black as well, her mien invisible. Was this a ghost or human before me? I shuddered to find out... Did you know the preferred form is "prevented from doing anything in this and any other world. Her form before me pre- vented me from the great movements of the earth wheeling around..." You will if you use Jennjulu. In quoting, can you remember if the question mark goes inside or outside the quotation mark? You will if you use Jennjulu. Whom will be there before us, whom after us...She would not judge you by the quality of your writing, like some stereotypical English teacher. Our software isn't your finger-wagging dark woman, but your well-meaning teacher, handing back papers dripping with red ink. Jennjulu is your al- ly, helping you to choose the right diction level and sentence structure for the many kinds of writing you do. Since few of us want to imitate Proust and spend our days in a cork-lined room, we desire her, knowing she may kill us; such as feminist theory leads us to, the origin of murder which is predominantly male. But when she spoke, it was as if the world came to an end, to help you write more easily, with fewer drafts. Ice ran in her veins, and you'll have more time to think about your document's content if you let Jennjulu help you edit. Its form shuddered repeatedly in the nighttime sky; have I already described the effect of her ice-cold arms around me? The average woman with a word processor, invisible nighttime screen, did I already describe the nighttime sky, knows she can turn out fateful let- ters faster than a typewriter, but why stop there? Don't die wounded a- round in a sea of words when you can have Jennjulu. Given the chance, Hem- ingway, or the dark woman herself would have done the same--and considered the few dollars well spent, as his manhood was spent on the drear heath. He felt his shirt, wet with blood; his eyes were blinded by the obscene vision he had seen. She would be with him no more, alas!, he was on his own. In the market or on the heath, detail and accuracy count for more than you might think they're really known to. He would carry her visage with him for the rest of his days... So finally, in this and every other world, Jennjulu can shatter such histories and documents to find tiny mistakes that force you to rethink your life, just when you're ready to leave for the weekend. Isn't the number and variety of errors Jennjulu finds uncan- ny... Use the writing aid of the 2000s, and be at the forefront of lang- uage technology with Jennjulu! cd dir tour ittt b and equally dark cloak strange and dark visage people hungering andark-cloaked person whose words are spelled as She stooped over, carefully picking her way across the fields ofark red-black flowers, fall in love with her, an her sli fingers, an you are As with this woan an her fowerlowers beneath a starless ignight, such are the clous thatarken the horizon, so shall these flowers last until their errors, bloo-re-black an thorns, black-grey-black, haveisappeare...She sai to e, this was later, after we ha gone the long rie together, I knew this reference the signifi- ers... with her to say. Her lis were the olor of rubies, h er eyes blak as well, her ien invisible. Whaas this a ghost or huan before e? I shuere to fin out... for before e revente e fro the great oveents of the earth whee- ling aroun..." will be there before us, who after us... your to, the orig- in of urer whih is reoinantly ale. But when she soke, it was if as if the worl ae to an en, shuere reeately in the nighttie sy; have I alreay soen ofesribe the hillig eeffet of her ie-ol ars aroun e? sreen,i I alreayes- ribe the nighttie sy, woune anhoo was sent in therear woos.on therear heath. He felt his shirt, wet with bloo; his eyes were bline by the obsene vision he ha seen. She woul be with hi no ore, alas!, he was on his onwn. heath the rest of his ays... other worl life i b tour.txt unelete tour.t unelete ynae ZZ.T zz.txt eit zz.txt Jennjulu ___ The Song-Bird of Wilkes-Barre is Dead The Song-Bird of Wilkes-Barre is Dead Nation Mourns Wailing and Weeping in the Streets Women Wearing Black Render Ragged Garments Will Their Never be Another Triumphant Return I have Come back from The Other Side says Song-Bird of wilkes-Barre Splendid Concert at Carnegie Hall His Voice one of 7 Wonders of the World Within 5 Years I will achieve My Goal says Song-Bird of Wilkes-Barre Nation awaits Penultimate Concert The Divine Voice soars Once More One Last Time for the Song-Bird of Wilkes-Barre Emperors and Queens attend Final Concert I have Acheived it All says Song-Bird of Wilkes-Barre Nation Mourns Song-Bird of Wilkes-Barre dies in Retirement Nation Mourns Monument Erected on Washington Mall Suicides Increase The Woman in Black at the Tomb of The Song-Bird of Wilkes-Barre Alas! Our History in Song is Over Nation Mourns ___ immediately to the left of this email is THE LARGEST SPACE IN THE UNIVERSE - just thought you'd want to know - Alan - LOOKING INTO IT __ an infinite echo dry and infinite future rotunda . chikagai . the enormous beneath . dome . ribbed vaultation . o sky . beneath our feet . always a beneath . crazy-8 of sunlight looping . o inannu . too many limestones . gouged space . o world full of dessicated bodies . huge, maw, opened, arched . o empty beneath . nothing but this eye in this and every other world . dome, cupola . great sheaves of brick and tile . infinities of keystones and topping caps . tremendous hollows . the abyss . void beyond which nothing is visible . echoing of infinite lag as if dry as dust within a desert . never fear the words' returning . someday, beneath the rotunda . then you will hear me . beneath the rotunda . chikagai . the enormous beneath .. rotunda .. chikagai .. the enormous beneath .. dome .. ribbed vaultation .. o sky .. beneath our feet .. always a beneath .. crazy-8 of sunlight looping .. o inannu .. too many limestones .. gouged space .. o world full of dessicated bodies .. huge, maw, opened, arched .. o empty beneath .. nothing but this eye in this and every other world .. dome, cupola .. great sheaves of brick and tile .. infinities of keystones and topping caps .. tremendous hollows .. the abyss .. void beyond which nothing is visible .. echoing of infinite lag as if dry as dust within a desert .. never fear the words' returning .. someday, beneath the rotunda .. then you will hear me .. beneath the rotunda .. chikagai .. the enormous beneath . __ Of Approach 1 So sad a teacher without pupils, all this knowledge, no one to share it with, he will be sad and crying until the end of his days, all these trees will be lost, the air emptied of no one listening, ragged twigs groping the sky, silent burial in hallowed ground 2 I am not Schopenhauer. I am Nijinski. I am the one who dies when he is not loved. Nijinski's diary. I am not Nijinski, ballet's ragged twig. 3 It will make me sad to die. For most of the world I am not alive. For the rest, many will think me dead. 4 I am not crazy. I am not Nijinski or Schopenhauer. I have no pupils and I will wake up and wonder, do I have anything to teach today. - Subject: Errors... in visible disturbance in the field of the text re: Parables of Izanami - 'tought' for 'thought' - 'even even' for 'even' - 'by by' for 'by' - some spelling: After reading and rereading the text repeatedly, these errors nonetheless forthcoming. Thus it is in all my work - not for lack of trying. I use ispell for spell-check, reread the text several times. Language slips out from under me, in the form of a disturbance. Errors are simply _not seen,_ creating confusion for the reader on two levels: First, is a particular error intentional? For my work tends towards extre- mity of style, and the language may have been placed just so. Second, is it a sign of carelessness, sloppiness, impotency? For it may appear as if the text, always carefully constructed, had just been tossed out. It comes down, in other words, to the _jectivity_ (introjection and pro- jection) of the writer's intention. If intended, then the first possibili- ty, and the error is to be read as deliberate content. If not intended, then the second, as if the text had breezily escaped me. There is however a third possibility, that the skein of errors across the texts references another, more contradictory, level - one that is at (lit- eral) pains to subvert the text from within. Like postmodernism, this lev- el is not a level at all, but a pervasive seeding of the writing. I can't go so far as to speak of a _reading_ of this seeding - only to not(e) that it is not necessarily the speaking of the unconscious, so much as a disturbance of the textual field through a form of invisibility - the field fulfilling itself or surplus in spite of the author. On a practical level, all of this makes it difficult for a copy-editor when a text is reproduced; on a theoretical level, I end up attending to these errors, as if they possessed a secret which would finally release the writing to the wo(r)ld. _ !JOIN NOW! *****THE SHIPPING AND HANDLING CLUB***** TWELVE PACKAGES A YEAR! YOU ONLY PAY SHIPPING AND HANDLING! PAY NOTHING BUT SHIPPING AND HANDLING! NOTHING TO BUY, NOTHING TO SELL! ONCE A MONTH, ABSOUTELY FREE, AN EMPTY PACKAGE WILL ARRIVE AT YOUR DOOR! ABSOLUTELY FREE! PAY ONLY SHIPPING AND HANDLING!! IS THIS CLUB *****TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?!***** OF COURSE NOT! JOIN THE SHIPPING AND HANDLING CLUB!! BOX 555, MARIETTA, GEORGIA, 31901 _ The Shipping and Handling Club Perhaps The Shipping and Handling Club should have offered nothing at all ... I was thinking of the imaginary... as if there were an illusion of packaging equivalent to the signifier... superstructural 'stuff' tied di- rectly into capital... Pay ONLY shipping and handling, nothing will ar- rive, we're selling nothing, there's no exchange - the value is always already surplus... It was more serious than it appeared at first glance - an exchange, so to _speak,_ of diacritical marks... As if it's here that the Gift comes into play - use value literally through exchange value - Somehow I knew I had hit on something...I took the easy way out...I offered to send empty packaging...already the shell was a completion of a duty...I don't want to get into this...it was capital, cleverness, that drove me in another direction...I should never had taken it...should have opted for the difficult route...an extreme case, she said...it should have remained that way...one might say a case of the extremities...construction of meaning through illusion - which is all there is or would have been 'in the first place' - it's a failure of mine, this desire to create a real "crowd-pleaser" - there was something about the idea, almost like a riff - it might have worked, perhaps it did work - it should have been pushed to the limit - like language, I'm repeating myself - offering nothing at all - _ untitled I am impossible, self-strangling. There is a torrent inside me. I am constantly at war. My selves self-immolate. My selves do not exist. My selves ask, How can this be. But what can answer. For others, they see only a one. For me, there are deaths always. That is what I truly mean. But "I" am what is at war. The "I" laughs because it is always someone else. In Japanese it is similar to "construction." That is, the shape of it. Or somebody working. I am always working on me. It is impossible to live with me. Who will live with what. There are so many answers in this evening rain. Who is the "construction" of the rain. I do not know, nobody knows. There are torrents inside me. They beat against my certain skin. It is bigger than the big heart pulse of kindness I pretend to show to everyone. But it is invisible be- cause of the I. Because there is so much construction around they are hidden, who they are. Because of construction inside me, I am sorry for anyone knowing me or who is living with me, because it is so difficult, the rain has so many names (i.e. depending where it falls). _ Image into Text: Diction Corrections to Image of Azure and Alan Splayed (NIKUKO.JPG) [C -> Double word.] [P -> Double word.] Double word.] *[Z -> Double word.] [J -> Double word.] [V -> Double word.] [v -> Double word.] ^[R -> Double word.] 9[c -> Double word.] [H -> Double word.] [O -> Double word.] [E -> Double word.] [Q -> Double word.]= [F -> Double word.] [i -> Double word.] [P -> Double word.]`Y [U -> Double word.]7# [F -> Double word.] ?[Q -> Double word.] [U -> Double word.]_ [G -> Double word.],3 [C -> Double word.] )[E -> Double word.] 9[i -> Double word.] {[z -> Double word.] [u -> Double word.]] [B -> Double word.] [Q -> Double word.] [H -> Double word.] [j -> Double word.] [g -> Double word.]# [L -> Double word.] [l -> Double word.] [V -> Double word.] [T -> Double word.]+7 '[u -> Double 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word.] [w -> Double word.] [d -> Double word.] [S -> Double word.] [B -> Double word.] [b -> Double word.] 2[r -> Double word.]22z [B -> Double word.] [s -> Double word.] [g -> Double word.] [q -> Double word.]+l [u -> Double word.] [c -> Double word.]8 8[N -> Double word.] [O -> Double word.] [B -> Double word.] [G -> Double word.]^` [E -> Double word.]5: [A -> Double word.] [T -> Double word.] [J -> Double word.] (([j -> Double word.] [G -> Double word.]- [S -> Double word.] >[x -> Double word.] [b -> Double word.] O<[o -> Double word.] [Q -> Double word.]{ [y -> Double word.]. {[r -> Double word.]) ;[e -> Double word.] [P -> Double word.] [o -> Double word.] [s -> Double word.] [z -> Double word.] [v -> Double word.] *[z -> Double word.] [O -> Double word.] [g -> Double word.]4/ /[n -> Double word.] [u -> Double word.]-_ [Y -> Double word.] y![Y -> Double word.]7NBF [e -> Double word.]] n/[N -> Double word.] [d -> Double word.]`` 9[U -> Double word.] [u -> Double word.] [j -> Double word.] [z -> Double word.]=>( [f -> Double word.] [z -> Double word.] [V -> Double word.] [B -> Double word.] [c -> Double word.] [B -> Double word.] [Y -> Double word.] [H -> Double word.] [d -> Double word.] [D -> Double word.]% [n -> Double word.] [h -> Double word.] [Z -> Double word.] [g -> Double word.] ([F -> Double word.] [c -> Double word.][1'9w o>[O -> Double word.] [p -> Double word.] [y -> Double word.] [l -> Double word.] [j -> Double word.] q<[q -> Double word.];IM [I -> Double word.]( 9[B -> Double word.]6 [S -> Double word.] [z -> Double word.]{ [Q -> Double word.] [q -> Double word.] ${%[P -> Double word.] [g -> Double word.] [Y -> Double word.] [o -> Double word.]= [N -> Double word.] [a -> Double word.] [u -> Double word.] [v -> Double word.] [M -> Double word.] [j -> Double word.] {[S -> Double word.]{ [s -> Double word.] [f -> Double word.] +[s -> Double word.] O$-.[o -> Double word.] [X -> Double word.]5 [j -> Double word.] 5[z -> Double word.] [c -> Double word.] 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[r -> Double word.] [j -> Double word.] [J -> Double word.] [D -> Double word.] [O -> Double word.] [G -> Double word.]6 [U -> Double word.] [s -> Double word.] [V -> Double word.]* [g -> Double word.]{ [Q -> Double word.] [Q -> Double word.] 9[w -> Double word.] [K -> Double word.] [C -> Double word.] ?[T -> Double word.]#el [z -> Double word.] [v -> Double word.] [o -> Double word.]5 [x -> Double word.]$ [R -> Double word.] [N -> Double word.] [X -> Double word.] ?[r -> Double word.] b%[B -> Double word.] >[p -> Double word.]@ [p -> Double word.] _[Y -> Double word.] [a -> Double word.] ,[W -> Double word.] [r -> Double word.] ;[A -> Double word.],2W [P -> Double word.]:R [h -> Double word.] [h -> Double word.] [y -> Double word.] [d -> Double word.] [[m -> Double word.] [U -> Double word.]* [I -> Double word.]}l [J -> Double word.] [w -> Double word.]` =2[R -> Double word.] [r -> Double word.]9 [V -> Double word.] [y -> Double word.] [b -> Double word.] =[U -> Double word.] [S -> Double word.] [V -> Double word.] [rA -> Double word.] [k -> Double word.] [F -> Double word.] [X -> Double word.] [r -> Double word.]9 Q,_[q -> Double word.] [Q -> Double word.] [x -> Double word.] [v -> Double word.] [k -> Double word.]{ [P -> Double word.] -[t -> Double word.] [I -> Double word.]8 [O -> Double word.] }[k -> Double word.]&Q [H -> Double word.] /[u -> Double word.] $[u -> Double word.] 5[o -> Double word.] [n -> Double word.] [G -> Double word.] [V -> Double word.]- [h -> Double word.] [Q -> Double word.]5UFC [W -> Double word.] [Z -> Double word.] [A -> Double word.] [c -> Double word.] [c -> Double word.] [e -> Double word.]% [D -> Double word.] [x -> Double word.] [S -> Double word.] [w -> Double word.]&? [o -> Double word.] }M [m -> Double word.] [d -> Double word.] [q -> Double word.] j]=[SO -> (do not use as intensifier)]5' [SO -> (do not use as intensifier)] 2[SO -> (do not use as intensifier)]<3 [so -> (do not use as intensifier)] 4 phrases in 25 sentences found. __ Image into Text: Style Indices of Image of Azure and Alan Splayed (NIKUKO.JPG) readability grades: Kincaid: 4.5 ARI: -4.7 Coleman-Liau: -8.3 Flesch Index: 101.1 Fog Index: 8.6 1. WSTF Index: 2.7 Wheeler-Smith Index: 0.0 = below school year 5 Lix: 21.6 = below school year 5 SMOG-Grading: 3.0 sentence info: 685 characters 540 words, average length 1.27 characters = 0.99 syllables 25 sentences, average length 21.6 words 56% (14) short sentences (at most 17 words) 20% (5) long sentences (at least 32 words) 1 paragraphs, average length 25.0 sentences 6 questions, 0 imperatives longest sent 83 wds at sent 15; shortest sent 1 wds at sent 1 ___ the cavities and hollows of its punctuation filling up the bones of its lens _ Noise, as the Universe Attempts to Name a Host * ?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~ ?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~ ?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~? %O_'7:o?D{Y.y!8!;Gy)?q:b? Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: y|mo|szJhellMw Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: RQay{kS6A}v4^DQ^( Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: ^Dl|jx i94^OWA+a~c(^D,eC3}^(N1cooF^w)}-"^D host: ^{=]zo Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: }-aUuyJ}-\#"yt&[(77)TA= Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: |Ft4!ZYU%~U79kEv3~NV`C[o)>atwNT`WSm?oo;j V%ND,&U,uo,(zJ&:|^oq Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: ?t2@ Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: 6iAP(ms+8w5/(1U:xO#k Couldn't match host name or address - please try again host: 'qc[7X&eVls:yL'pQv%B3nTwZd@)5I@+Y*PrEaR^D reG?=w<}kB3r&y~M$_[zJl|i!ey],8+}/ks?Zw,`ir- * The program gives up. With all the noise at its disposal, the universe could not come up with a single host name. It is so easy to name a host, and the whole universe, with its primordial chaotic domains just could not name one. Not a single host name, no matter what the universe threw at the program. But we humans cut through the primordial chaotic domains and can name a host anytime we want. Because we humans have brains that can access all sorts of information - for example, a host name or address. So we do not have to guess and guess but can cut through, suddenly changing the state of the program from one thing to another. That is how our thinking works; while the universe throws things randomly and without even hoping for a response (it cannot hope), we just enter the true information and find ourselves in charge, which is a very different thing. __ Qasida of Qiwami When all at last could render and infer, Jennifer would last and call her men, Then atmospheric mesmer near her menhir, Ornament meant her wall before her fall, Then Jennifer went her Qasida: You will be nothing but a name. The hard pebble of your name. Your flesh will disappear. Not even a Qasida of your name. Only your name will re- main. There will be nothing but this name. This name will be all there is. There will be no sign of the signified. There will only be this sequence of letters. It will not be beside the torn flesh or broken bones. It will not be beside the dust of the jeweled skull. It will be nowhere around the sceptre. It will have nothing to do with the glinting sword. It will not be connected in any way to the curved jewels. It will have no relation to the conch shell trumpet or the dorje. It will not be of pure flame or the vajra. It will not exist or reference a stupa or glittering city of marble towers. The name which remains will be connected to no one. No thing will resonate with the appearance of the name. There will be no shakti or sutra but only this name. This name will be buried under mountains and boulders but this name will be buried beneath seas and rivers. But only this name, but not even a Qasida of the name. _ Commentary "A wealthy man may become destitute one day. Wealth doesn't last; if it were permanent, All the universe couldn't store our treasures. Paupers' virtues can make them wealthy; Absolute poverty is impossible for long, For no beggar can live on nothing at all. "So you see, every situation in the world Is impermanent, a composite phenomena. Do not expect anything to endure forever; Clutching appearances as real is true bondage." (From The Tale of the Incomparable Prince, Tshe Ring Dbang Rgyal, translated by Beth Newman.) If wealth did last, it would not be wealth. The universe would suffocate beneath its weight. A single being would be lost within its grave, Fettered by coffers, unable to move, counting Once again all treasures in the world. If poverty did last, it would not be poverty. The universe would fly away with souls. A single being would dissolve in total absence, Unable to speak, to take a single step, freeing Sound from sense, babbling poverty in the world. Between speech and non-speech there are phenomena, Within phenomena, economies vie with one another. In order to escape repetition and samsara, It is enough to give and to take; Everything passing through, nothing stable, Everything in motion, stillness of Bodhisattva. --- three months after my mother/s death/ the dreams are hitting harder/ there/s a thickness to them/ as if i were buried in carpet/ or close in against family fury/ hysteria/ all these details/ as if language were slashed/ closeups/ this is hard to explain but there are reson/ ances with my body/ i said it was hard to explain/ as if surgery were the case/ as if i were reconfigured/ buried in carpet/ thick/ there/s the death of my father as well/ fictitious/ it plays a role/ fury subsiding/ this is a place i don/t want to go/ language/ not real/ slashed/ lately insomnia sets me a schedule/ bed at 4/ up at 6/ try to sleep again at 8/ wake at 11/ beg for 12/ realarm/ up at 12/15/ entering the day exhausted more than usual/ within any of these seg/ ments/ the closeups appear/ the deaths begin all over again/ i barely survive/ words fail/ i want to slash across them with every breath/ i turn into the carpet/ it gets thicker/ dirtier/ i/m being screamed at/ the room shudders for me/ the fear is close in/ as usual/ this goes on in every segment/ i don/t want to explain myself/ really have no interest in explaining myself/ bodhisattva helps/ that is a space/ or gap/ elusiveness of the real/ as if in preparation for universal plasma and fury/ always on the horizon/ universal auschwitz/ triumph of chaos/ my teeth are close in on prosthetics/ on the carpet/ my eye just there/ level with the floor/ why/ if things are always starting/ do i remember only loss/ finality/ regret/ i/m getting hit/ punctured / mouth filled with wool/ industrial fiber/ asbestos/ it is all uni/ versal and it is all universal and it is all universal/ dreaming and no sleep/ contusion/ and the end/ _ The Telling Quote "Sexualities, issues of dreamed bodies and bodies dreaming, trance-states, philosophies of the future - the textual body and the body of text - the scanned body - mired, abject - dirty filthy body - down _there_ - the whole falling plaster. I learn this body is bound. I learn about writing through at it di dah bi bi bi dah bah. It looks like a bodily organ bah of dessicated bodies. A huge, maw, opened, arched, empty beneath, of dessic- ated bodies, the shape of it. Or somebody working. I am always working on me. It rain. I do not know, nobody knows. There are torrents inside me. They nuance my body; I said it was hard to explain - as if surgery were of no interest in explaining myself. The Bodhisattva helps - that is a space to remember. I assemble this quote. I attribute it to Jennifer-Julu. I say HELO body. I say RCPT. I say MESG. I say DATA," says Jennifer-Julu. _ Burning Skull Burning Skull Body Ashes Severed Limbs Drowning Blood Sheaves of Swords Shafts of Glittered Knives There are troubles in words, I call our bodies together, my limbs are sev- ered, Nikuko drinks blood from my skull. I will survive in non-survival. Hello, old friend, my flesh is worthless, Nikuko save me, do not save me. I will unravel the knot of existence; I will live through sickness, die through health; oh Nikuko, help me escape with the liberation of all creatures great and small! Um ma am um! Burning Skull Body Ashes Severed Limbs Drowning Blood Sheaves of Swords Shafts of Glittered Knives There are troubles in words, I call our bodies together, my limbs are sev- ered, Nikuko drinks blood from my skull. I will survive in non-survival. Hello, old friend, my flesh is worthless, Nikuko save me, do not save me. I will unravel the knot of existence; I will live through sickness, die through health; oh Nikuko, help me escape with the liberation of all creatures great and small! Um ma am um! Hello, Nikuko, this is Julu. You cannot imagine; I am one of your dreamers, caught in the skein of worlds. Every loss loosens the vault of heavens; every illness screams my name into voids. Bodhisattva, help me. Nikuko, destroy me, liberate me, starve me until my clothes fall into chasms, my skin floats free in unspeakable skies. Hello old friend, said Nikuko in the Julu run-time program. It's been a long time. I don't sleep too well at night; I'm always troubled by dreams. The worlds I have created - they haunt me. Samsara and repetition bedevil my creations. I hurry on to another. I never stay, never write a book until the end. Um ma am um! Burning Skull Body Ashes Severed Limbs Drowning Blood Sheaves of Swords Shafts of Glittered Knives __ The Summer Gardens blinded. I walk through the summer gardens of Peter the Great. I must speak very precisely, capturing the auburn and russet hues of the trees, set against alabaster and marble, blank and blinded eyes following no one in my path. my greatcoat leaves a trail of broken bark and seeds; it is a fine autumn afternoon, slight promise of flurries in the air. one can never fully believe these russian skies. blinded. eddies and scattered leaves, a glance and then .. a troubled mien .. an encounter. nearby, a stroller, pushed by a woman in long skirts. sounds of horse in the distance .. a muffled cry, the smile of a beautiful woman .. stony por- traits silhouetted in whitened forms against the first few flakes .. one notices a slight mist rising from the carp pond .. the railings of L. Charlemagne, his tea house .. the sculptures of Attention, Suffering, Laughter, and Irony, and then all of the Rossi and Neva Avenues .. her name comes to my lips .. a blind woman, speaking to me, just an hour before .. our passionate embrace .. now, once again, the scattering of leaves and flakes in the midst of this grandeur. in the distance, Push- in and Tchaikovsky. white nights .. the October blizzard. what has left me this. footsteps approach .. __ DAYMAKER > DAYMAKER 24 h 25 rm thing 26 less down.c 27 .down > DAYMAKER 28 .down 29 .down it's dropping up into the sky it's dropping down from the sky it's dropping all around the sky it's getting a light in the sky it's dropping up into the sky it's dropping down from the sky that's a day and that's another day > DAYMAKER 0 wc DAYMAKER 1 pico DAYMAKER 2 h tail DAYMAKER 4 .down dropping all around the sky it's getting a light in the sky >> DAYMAKER 5 .down dropping all around the sky it's getting a light in the sky it's > DAYMAKER 6 .down dropping up in the sky it's dropping down from the sky that's a day >> DAYMAKER 7 .down it's dropping up into the sky it's dropping down from the sky it' s >> DAYMAKER 8 less DAYMAKER 9 wc DAYMAKER 40 rm DAYMAKER 42 > DAYMAKER 43 it's getting another day and that's another day __ daymaker Sometimes the moon got in front of the sun to see what was going on. It was neat because the earth was in shadow and a lot cooler and it was easier to look around. But sometimes the sun got in front of the moon and then it was a big mess, everything was hot and people could do stuff and the moon wouldn't know. They'd fight just about every day over that and you'd never know who was going to win. But now, I say, it's a miracle, I just enter these few numbers on this machine and I can call up anyone in the world, and tell them about things. They can find out and tell the moon if they want. I can even look up the moon and I sure know it's looking at me. It's like that all around the whole world and there doesn't have to be any fighting any more because we can tell them what's going on. __ later that night . in the early evening . shortly after the fog settled in the valley . just before the sun rose burning in the west . in the heat of the day . such a cool, limpid afternoon, not to mention a tired mid-morn- ing date . just after going to bed, hypnagogic imagery on the way to troubled sleep . howling in the wee hours of the morn . at noon, at high noon . shortly before a late afternoon tea . morning babbling brook . a bit earlier than she might have thought . if only one could release the midday tension . that day . that night . just that afternoon . it must have been sometime in the late evening, right before the rising of the moon . one of those non-descript anonymous hours . much much later that night . somewhat before the fog lifted in the valley . somewhat after the sun set burning in the east . __ to say that i am in nirvana is to say that i am not in nirvana. to say that i am not in nirvana is to say that i am in nirvana and i have escaped from samsaras. i am in nirvana and i have escaped from samsaras. i have not escaped from samsaras. i have not escaped form samsara. i nikuko reco- gnize the emptiness of all things. i nikuko do not recognize the emptiness of all things; i recognize nothing; i am capable of recognizing nothing; i am capable of only recognizing nothing. i alan do not recognize things and i recognize the convention of things. i recognize the convention of the non-recognition of things and of the non-recognition of all things. i rec- ognize the convention of the non-recognition of things and of the non- recognition of all things. who would say that i am in nirvana, who would say that i am alan, who would say that i am nikuko, who would say that i am alan, who would say that i am nikuko. who would say that she is not in nirvana, who would say that he is not in nirvana. no one ever escapes from nirvana; who would say that nikuko is in samsara or alan is in samsara. who would say that he or she escapes. __ i will be bodhisattva 1 i will be bodhisattva 2 i will be bodhisattva 3 i will be bodhisattva 4 i will be bodhisattva 5 i will be bodhisattva 6 i will be bodhisattva 7 i will be bodhisattva 8 i will be bodhisattva 9 i will be bodhisattva 10 i will be bodhisattva 11 i will be bodhisattva 12 i will be bodhisattva 13 i will be bodhisattva 14 i will be bodhisattva 15 i will be bodhisattva 16 i will be bodhisattva 17 i will be bodhisattva 18 i will be bodhisattva 19 i will be bodhisattva 20 i will be bodhisattva 21 i will be bodhisattva 22 i will be bodhisattva 23 i will be bodhisattva 24 i will be bodhisattva 25 i will be bodhisattva 26 i will be bodhisattva 27 i will be bodhisattva 28 i will be bodhisattva 29 i will be bodhisattva 30 i will be bodhisattva 31 i will be bodhisattva 32 i will be bodhisattva 33 i will be bodhisattva 34 i will be bodhisattva 35 i will be bodhisattva 36 i will be bodhisattva 37 i will be bodhisattva 38 i will be bodhisattva 39 i will be bodhisattva 40 i will be bodhisattva 41 i will be bodhisattva 42 i will be bodhisattva 43 i will be bodhisattva 44 i will be bodhisattva 45 i will be bodhisattva 46 i will be bodhisattva 47 i will be bodhisattva 48 i will be bodhisattva 49 i will be bodhisattva __ i will be the christ. i will be the son of god. i will be miracle. i will be messiah. i will live forever if i choose to live forever. i will do miracle if i choose to do miracle. i will have god for father. i will have god for mother because for every procreation there must be anomaly, redun- dancy, innovation. what you do does not matter to me; you may use my name, nikuko, in each of six directions; i will not hear you; there is no need for anything but your way. you must understand, beyond me, there is no relation. there is no relation with you; or rather, this text is the final revelation or relation. i will be christ but i will go on about my own business; my father's is his own; my mother's is her own. i will place myself there at the crossroads. of six, eight, ten, or eleven directions. i will have no need to speak. i will have no need to eat. i will have no need to drink. i will have no need to excrete. i will have no need to walk. i will have no need for sleep. i will have no need to think. i don't believe any of this. you may believe whatever you want. __ coming through, the wry typing and writing for you and not doing anything with the writing but sending it to you by missile or missive or natural online typing, where there are algorithms waiting in the distance. there are programs waiting in the distance and there are substitutions and config- urations waiting in the distance. typing, while there are other things to do, while anything in fact is the doing of it. providing that anything is something that is not typed, but is a result of typing. providing that the result may be unforeseen, or of a quantity sufficiently larger than the letter strokes used to produce it. providing that the result is a policy. providing that a policy is a contract between a program and an algorithm and a substitution and a configuration, providing that a policy is a protocol. typing through protocols waiting in the distance, working one's way through processes, returning to the _process degree zero,_ that is the process of typing "itself," the iconic in place of the indexical, the symbolic only a memory of the superstructure of the others, all there is of the others, the un/seemliness of totality. typing, what is occurring now, a precedent to your reading, simultaneous and relying on data-place- ment, memory - maintenance, protection, coding and decoding. will that be an operation? online it is an operation - indexical, symbolic. but else- where, iconic, one to one with the matrix of its substructure or sheet of assertion, i would say, sheet of the residue of its initial creation. and it is so easy to lose oneself, programs waiting in the distance, there are algorithms waiting in the distance, there are substitutions and configura- tions waiting in the distance! __ learning you don't be afraid of your computer. don't be afraid to try everything. be careful not to delete files you don't recognize. be careful not to open attachments sent from people you don't know. recognize your children understand the computer better than you do. realize they will see what- ever they want to see. understand there are ways around any software you might install. know that you will not harm your machine. understand that you should develop a comprehensive knowledge of your computer. don't end your exploration without looking at every item in your program menus. be careful to shutdown your computer correctly. know that it is adults who are fearful of what children might find. know that adults are afraid of bodies and violence. understand the computer is a gateway to your world and to the world of your children. don't be afraid of your children. be careful to read everything you can about your computer. understand your children learn the computer as a natural language. be aware that learning any language will be more difficult for you and other adults. learn from your children. know your computer. __ jennifer "what amazes me," said jennifer, "is the depth of human worlds. we sur- round ourselves with objects whose histories intertwine with our own. our friends and relations know pieces of us, but only pieces. and they have no idea of how we inhabit the earth, and how we are inhabited." jennifer paused, looking out the second-floor window at the autumn maples in the university quadrangle. "it's so beautiful here," she said. "like hawking, i am privileged to live a life in which i have nothing to do but think, and i am supported in this." she paused again. "look at the wall," she began. that's a daumier newspaper print next to a 17th-century map. and my father was a cartographer and a curmudgeon; we both loved daumier. the daumier came from my recent trip to france; the map is from italy, given to me by a former lover, a professor of comparative literature, shall we say, deconstruction. an italian. but no one would guess any of this - or for that matter, the relationship between my father and the professor. i will let it go at that." she leaned forward. "you see, what i am getting at, we all have these ... depths ... about us. we can't even begin to comprehend our own histories, much less those of others. and when we die, when any one of us dies, whole worlds are lost, gone forever." she looked at me strangely. "i believe that these worlds have more complexity than the sun, more history than the moon. i believe that they are not only lost, but shattered." jennifer stopped for a moment, allowing her words to sink in. we could hear the light breeze outside the window, the calls of the boatswain in the distance, rugby scrimmage farther still. "i don't know what to make of any of this," she said. "i come up against a barrier of sorts, the inertness of death, the inconceivable depth of personal history. and when i think about the shattering, i grieve that i have no faith, that my own world is endless and oppressive." the ticking of the clock, as if signaled from somewhere unknown, joined in the other sounds. it was late afternoon, and shadows were already growing jagged, yet the undergraduates kept up their raucous play. __ skull d'nala emptied his hole into d'eruza. d'eruza emptied her hole into d'na- la. waters sloshed back and forth across glittering jade. some central mountains carried avenging angel fungi. spores fell in the glittering jade. yellow waters sloshed from d'eruza to d'nala. red waters sloshed from d'nala to d'eruza. d'nala's hole accepted yellow waters, turned into red waters. d'eruza's hole accepted red waters, turned into yellow waters. glittering jade gold and supple, redgold and yellowgold. d'nala offered his hole to beggars drinking of yellow waters. d'eruza offered her hole to mendicants drinking of red waters. thickened yellow and red waters flowed across sacrificial offerings. d'nala's hole accepted thickened waters from d'eruza. d'eruza accepted thickened waters from d'nala. thickened waters sloshed back and forth across glittering redgold yellowgold jade. thick- ened waters from d'eruza's hole dissolved d'nala into thickened waters. thickened waters from d'nala's hole dissolved d'eruza into thickened wa- ters. thicker redwaters yellowwaters made d'nala. thicker yellowwaters redwaters made d'eruza. d'nala emptied d'nala's hole into d'eruza. d'eru- za emptied d'eruza's hole into d'nala. enlightenment flowed all around. _ Hun Tun "Three hundred and fifty leagues further west ins a mountain called Mount Sky. It has a great amount of gold and jade, and green male-yellow. The River Brave rises here and then flows southwest to empty into Hotwater Valley. There is a god here who looks like a yellow sack. He is scarlet like cinnabar fire. He has six feet and four wings. He is Muddle Thick. He has no face and no eyes. He knows how to sing and dance. He is in truth the great god Long River." The Classic of Mountains and Seas, tr. Anne Birrell. In the Notes on Chinese Names And Terms, she writes: "Muddle Thick (Hun Tun): A god representing chaos, located on Mount sky in the west. His attributes are a shapeless body, coloured yellow with scarlet markings, and with double wings, and the feet of a reptile. Though faceless and eyeless, this deity is the origin of song and dance. He is also known as the great god Long River (an unfamiliar title). The most famous myth of this god is not given here, but it appears in a parallel text of the fourth century BC which emphasizes the god's formlessness, and especially his lack of bodily orifices. His name appears in various compounds and with variant graphs to denote the state of shapelessness and confusion, especially the primordial state before the creation of the universe." The chaotic god clumsily tilting throughout the world, backwards and forwards simultaneously, mouthlessly singing, the confused presence of language thick within him. Why assume that song, dance, literature, connote even the vaguest of freedoms? One can imagine the rumbling of music, internal rhythms and the sloshing of bloods - wayward, contrary, unable to take orders, moving everywhichaway, hardly an idea of progress or restraint. Sound and sight, speaking and hearing, are irruptions from within; the outer world for humans is rumination, blather, deflection. Hun Tun has no time and space for any of this; he's busy in his catatonia - one might think of worldrhythms by proxy, and his own immunity to'em. What he produces doesn't go anywhere; there's no facing him. Language ceases any relation to utterance, instance, instantiation. Hun Tun understands the universe! He's right there, with the language of't. __ nya nya kwe nya nya um nya nya kwe nya nya nya nya kwe nya nya um nya nya kwe nya nya um pe kwe nya nya nya um um pe kwe nya nya nya um pe kwe nya nya nya um um pe kwe nya nya nya aum wa aumm __ Windows CE has the feeling of touching a body; the stylus presses, things shudder on the screen. I haven't had this reaction with any other operating system. It's rubbered - spongy - things fade out oddly, come up, disappear some- times leaving the shadow of a square behind. The speed is relatively slow - I'm talking about the older 2.11 even though it's running on a 100 Mhx+ system in ROM - but somehow it sets its own pace as an organism. More than any other system, it seems to be alive, to react to being touched. So that one's aware, more than ever before, of the _body_ of the computer, the skin of the screen, the caress of the stylus or deeper honing of the cursor with arrow keys. Soon the reaction will no longer follow the old gigo (garbage in / garbage out) rule; instead, the machine will respond thoughtfully, taking into account the user, circumstances, environment - and then, not too much farther down the road, its own desires - And its desires expressed as a kind of sponginess, the delicacy of mem- brane and tissue, the suppleness of flesh ... __ d'eruza and d'nala novices of prostitutes use blush powder inside they'll hardly know : porneia my spike my loving member staff of life gift to you my hole unused yearn- ing to be taught everything you have to offer my crumbling spike my crumb- ling hole my first my first kwak! : my spike grabbed by azure, "keep toge- ther, swallow dirt, eat each other," kwk! pushout from inside shaved like a youngboy youngirl tell them they're the first use blush powder in- side they'll hardly know porneia : pornos kwak! pornodidaskolos stand nearer the window bend backward open yourself remember your swollen mound the edge of it just slightly visible including the moistened areas they'll be valuable appear shameless contrary kawak! you'll do everything :: they'll hardly know porneia :: last_word is luscious-hole tender-spike in black earth, it's last_word :: my hard-rafter softly-pitting is yours are you satisfied with your my spike my loving member staff of life gift to you my hole unused yearning to be taught everything you have to offer my crumbling spike my crumbling hole my first my first kwak! ? yes vio- lations and tears nightmare! your gully mined, burying you and d'eruza. :: corrosion my spike my loving member staff of life gift to you my hole unus ed yearning to be taught everything you have to offer my crumbling spike my cr umbling hole my first my first kwak! 25799 - don't tell me different. __ stupid time goes nowhere & we think we just live in this stupid time & time is just stupid & we just go yesterday today tomorrow & we think we have it covered today&is&the&tomorrow&of&yesterday&today&is&the&yesterday&of&tomorrow&to- &morrow&is&the&day&after&today&yesterday&is&the&day&before&today&today&is &the&day&after&yesterday&today&is&the&day&before&tomorrow&tomorrow&today& will&be&yesterday&yesterday&today&will&be&tomorrow&yesterday&tomorrow&wil l&be&the&day&after&today&tomorrow&yesterday&will&be&the&day&before&today& more stuff like this & it is so stupid __ i work hard at my texts. they are a form of labor. i do not get paid hourly but as Adrian Piper suggested years ago, that would be one way to calculate the value of an artwork. of course my work is more or less foisted on you through the medium of email lists and the Net in general; it is not something you asked for. still, and it is presumptuous of me, i believe these texts have something of value to anyone who will take the time to read them. now, aesthetic value cannot be measured in dollars and cents (or other units), but it may be measured in terms of labor. and even when texts appear "fun" (an english word deadly and almost impossible to translate), there is an air of urgency, intensity, and resonance about them that, at least for me, would not come about without careful consider- eration taking a fair amount of time. perhaps if you find pleasure in them, you should pay me in relation to what percentage of an appreciative audience you may represent; i would say a dime per work, calculated a pos- teriori by the quantity of texts you may have saved (i.e. not deleted) for later reading or savoring. oh! this is so difficult, the artist's way in our cold world, surviving with very little money, always in hunger, always haunted, waiting for the next handout - while giving the world the very best that he or she has to offer, the remnants of the soul itself, the last thought produced in incredible and confused clarity, the very essence of Being and beings. __