Out of the Dream Came the Faucet is probably my most significant contribution to the question of dream symbolism. In this paper, I argue that the man who invented the faucet did so because he wanted a better penis. Generally speaking, everything man invents, devises, or finds ready-made in the world represents an attempt to improve his body, particularly his genitals.For instance. . .take my theory.
Ha. Who says academics have no sense
of humor?—But theoriously,
Ladies and Genitals, before you
begin firing questions here’s the whole
quod est ball o’ praxis: see if you can
follow me—but hey, fork your tongue in
my ear and I’ll follow you
as I was saying before I was
—and that’s damned hard to do:
pre-prelapsarian, before being
the apple in my parents’ eye,
if you get my drive, ur, drift—
so: the short of it—I’m using
the long this evening—I am a man:
I invented this theory. . .
that all inventions. . .
are attempts. . .
by a man. . .
to improve his genitals:
Q.E.D.: I wrote
Out of the Dream Came the Faucet
to increase the meat-heating angle
of my dangle, but!—
and here’s where the going gets
good and sticky—my invention,
explains itself, thereby multiplying
its power self-referentially, the old
mirror in the mirror trick,
making it much more
likely to provide the type
of “generally speaking” genital
by its inventor.