Sex Video Azure writes on the blackboard. The blackboard is dirty white. She writes "Anthrax." She tries to erase it. It turns dark but is still visible. It doesn't disappear. She wipes her hand across the board. She turns her hand up: white, powdered. She turns back to the board. She writes "Territory" in block letters. She begins to erase it. Azure lies naked with a French apron on a bench. She turns slowly. Beethoven plays in the background. She says "This is a film about anthrax." Alan lies naked similarly, Beethoven. He says "Anthrax is deadly." There are screen shots of a Sony Viao; Beethoven comes from the speakers. Azure sits naked on the bench; her legs are spread. She talks about the dangers of Anthrax. The French apron is pulled up. Alan, similarly. Sometimes there is Beethoven in the background. A closeup of Azure's breast, squeezed by Alan's hand with his voiceover: "Anthrax is everywhere." A closeup of Alan's penis, pulled by Azure's hand with her voiceover: "One has to be constantly careful." The penis begins to harden. Azure masturbating on a couch. She says "Anthrax is dangerous. Be careful what you touch." A closeup of a Sony Viao. There are patterns on the screen. Beethoven is playing. _ of details a missile trail.:the other waits:one waits.:: Does one wait. replace your missile trail. doll. one waits.:fields of stone.:a torn flag.:one hammers.: Write. another waits. my one waits. stones and planes.:bullet in free air. :one shoots.:a torn flag.:a torn flag. Your ghost dissolves my torn flags. tengu. one waits.:beaten women.:dead men. :: Your bullet dissolves. my perfect moon. troll. a letter.:another mark.:a mark.:: field of rocks.:a violent moon.:return.:: Your bomb dissolves. my weapons of mass destruction. kappa. starved children. i could break your bones. :burnt flesh.:this text.:i feel nothing.:nothing. Your semen nothing. is beneath me. empty. i feel nothing.:i feel nothing.:i feel nothing.::death. Does i feel nothing. replace you. doll. i will kill them.:i will kill you.:i will kill.:: Your raid dissolves me. ghost. i will kill myself.:i will kill you.:i will kill them all. :i feel nothing.:i feel nothing. Write i feel nothing. though i will kill myself. = 10 julu 11 a mark. 12 julu 2 less zz 3 another mark 2 less zz 8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu Write piss 16 julu through my 8 julu! 4 cat zz | julu; rev .trace >> zz; rm .trace APPEND; pico zz 9 julu:8 julu:7 julu:14 julu:2 less zz Does 7 julu replace your 9 julu? 9 julu:8 julu:7 julu:12 julu: 3 another mark:2 less zz: 17 julu:4 cat zz | julu; rev .trace >> zz; rm .trace APPEND; pico zz: 8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu Write detergents Write piss 16 julu through my 8 julu! through my 3 another mark! Does 7 julu replace your 9 julu?:9 julu:8 julu:7 julu:14 julu:2 less zz:4 cat zz | julu; rev .trace >> zz; rm .trace APPEND; pico zz:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu: Write detergents Write piss 16 julu through my 8 julu! Your faerie dissolves my 8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu! ghost with ideohydraulesis! 17 julu:4 cat zz | julu; rev .trace >> zz; :3 another mark:2 less zz::9 julu:8 julu:7 julu:12 julu::through my 3 another mark!:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu Your spectre dissolves my rm .trace APPEND; pico zz:! doll with ideohydraulesis! Write detergents Write piss 16 julu through my 8 julu! :rm .trace APPEND; pico zz:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu: 16 julu::less zz:4 cat zz | julu; rev .trace >> zz; :3 another mark!:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu: Your stitch should be wiped into existence? You flood me... How would you absorb your piss fabric? You have absorbed for hours, you're still alive 3 another mark!:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu calls forth faerie, hungered, making things. on the splits, 3 another mark!:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu is grains, 040], less zz::9 julu:8 julu:7 julu:12 julu::through my ? ... faerie is another mark!:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu: on wet flesh, it's faerie? Your inscription finished, you have created thing. For 6 piss days, we have been substances. and it has taken you 0.167 minutes to swallow your last ... (3 another mark!:8 julu:7 julu::17 julu:16 julu calls forth faerie,:You have absorbed for hours, you're still alive:How would you absorb your piss fabric?:and it has taken you 0.167 minutes to swallow your last ...:For 6 piss days, we have been substances. Your shit For 6 piss days, we have been substances. is beneath my spit Your inscription finished, you have created thing.) _ sex, anthrax, video I relationship of anthrax to sexuality : anthrax is pervasive, the first and last seduction of death : anthrax is hidden within the pockets of the world : anthrax bears an uncanny relationship to violence and performance : anthrax retains the weight and pressure of the flesh : conversely, anthrax strips us : taking of anthrax giving of sexuality II relationship of sexuality to anthrax : sexuality is forced etiquette and forbidden zones : one dies : sexuality carries within it the destruction of all institutions : sexuality determines its own rights of passage : procurements III relationship to doxa : sexuality and anthrax are global media obsessions : sexuality and anthrax powder may be anything : desire to add to terror and jouissance and do away with it all : fascination fetishism - the return of the common object - charged : everything is predicated upon exposure : exposure effaces names, dates, entities IV in our videowork : cathartic sexualities and effacements : speaking and revealing the unspoken : detumescence of etiquette in the light of the body : alan and azure : body and speech becoming your own : everything and nothing for the viewer : death and disinvestment : sex as the limits of the gift, the contract : sex as the limits of the body, language, the hole V our videowork pornography of pornography : you have the direct investment of our bodies : holding each other up to the light : jouissance of our pleasure in your death : jouissance of your pleasure in our death : you are complicit in tearing our bodies open : you are complicit in the violence of your fantasm = movie text 1943 There are early screen memories of _being carried_ on a 1943-1997 I have had my faults, too many of them 1948 Or thereabouts - remembering crying in the car with mot 1950 All through childhood I had to take weekly Saturday all 1950 I was given a small film projector with a crank on the 1952 I really don't have a date but wonder about my early lo 1952 I remember a wonderful British tricycle with large whee 1952 It was around this year that we moved from Reynolds Str 1955 Around this time, I had an operation to have my ears pi 1956 I heard of Elvis. I loved the word "fuck." Someone show 1956 I watched someone masturbate at camp; I was thrilled. E 1956 Later this year (or was it this year?), I masturbated c 1956-60 I cried myself to sleep, etc. I had a small box on t 1956-8 I joined the American Forestry Association (or someth 1958 J U and I were walking late at night and he thre 1959 I was probably a Junior at the Blue and White dances at 1959 I'd fall asleep dreaming of P T or earlier Ma 1960 A W was my first real girlfriend; we tri 1960 Barely made it to the senior prom with C K 1960 I just about flunked my first semester at Brown, collap 1960 I remember reaching for A's breast; I was sick and at 1960 I volunteered for secret army tests as well - checking 1960 I went to Israel for a summer, living largely in Jerusa 1960 It was around this period that I had my only "attested" 1960 It's this summer I first go to Israel and almost have a 1960 The depressions continue for the rest of my life 1960 These dates, these beginnings are obscure to me, and al 1960-1997 Sleeping and waking: insomnia goads me my entire l 1961 I almost flunked out of school. My life was a disaster. 1961-1962 My second year at Brown was miserable. I hated my 1962 I watched the side of the factory open up in the middle 1962 It was this year that I got beat up on the campus by tw 1962 On a trip through the Negev, I saw, from a distance, an 1962 Was it during this year, when I was in Israel, that my 1962 We managed to get shot at from an absurdly safe distanc 1962 was still, closed up once again. I asked my roommate wh 1962-1963 Went to Israel for a year, living mainly in Jerusa 1966 Went to Europe for the summer; met J Z who becam 1967 It's around now I'm in Europe. I met you (I forget your 1967 P G ran into the studio screaming 1967-1968 Put out three records with a group, two with ESP, 1967-1970 Did I speak of the Great Fear of country and anarc 1968 I bought a red IBM Selectric, my first real electric ty 1968 I had An,ode published by the Ws' Burning Deck Pr 1968 I lived for a summer in Minneapolis with J 1968 I think J and I were married; it was a traditional w 1969 V and I in our dismally-cathected relationship, talk 1973 At the Paris Biennale I put up "The World's Smallest Sc 1973-1974 I went to Europe with B; we lived for a month i 1974 Around this time, I remember living off and on with R 1974 I lectured all over the place, UCSD, Cal Arts, RISD (wi 1974 Logic of consciousness worked out, The Book as System o 1974 R warned me about V, that he wasn't as good a 1975 Around this period, L accompanied me at a poetry r 1975 R M and I split vowing to remain friends. It 1976-1977 I work on the Structure of Reality, a text compose 1976-1977 E and I in New York and Hartford, marry 1977 Around this date I thought that if aliens came from ano 1977 I taught for a year in Hartford, at the Hartford Colleg 1977 J was born; I was totally amazed. Everyone's start 1977 Secretly, I think I know everything; I don't know anyth 1978 E and I split, my fault through everything 1977 T fucking me, the first and only totally re 1977 The Whitney shows the tape K and I made; ther 1977-1997 Relating to J; I never see her enough; as she 1978 Remembering L, who became an erotic image / i 1978-1979 I taught for a year at the University of Californi 1980 I get involved with women who are as crazy as I am; no 1980 I saw V for one of the last times, and stopped speak 1980 The year where my writing began to coalesce; I was 37 a 1980-1982 I taught at UCLA for two years, in the art and art 1982 A and I left for Queenstown in the eastern center 1982 I left for three and a half years - to teach in Tasmani 1982 I went to Tasmania where I met A and return 1982 In Queenstown we end up at the home of a Belgian hairdr 1983 I take over the curatorial position at Nexus Contempora 1983-85 After teaching for a semester at Ontario College of 1984 At Nexus, we began the Atlanta Biennale; the first exhi 1985-6 Later Paul Celan's poetry would take off from where T 1985-87 I left Nexus, A left me, I went to University 1986 I first met D at a punk/industrial music night; he 1988 And I had never been treated so badly as I was with N 1988 I also met N while at Hallwalls; this was th 1988 I became Artistic Director at Hallways Contemporary Art 1988 I took up the Artistic Directorship of Hallwalls Contem 1989 At the end of the year, M and I left Atlanta for 1989 M and I are driving through western North Caroli 1989-91 During the years with M I had the feeling we 1991 Or so, found out the ESP records had been reissued as C 1992 M walked out after my severe depressions; she to 1993 Finally started on the Internet with an IBM XT. My firs 1993 My first cyber-relationship experience with a grad stud 1996 At the end of November, attended the Cybermind96 confer 1996 I meet A in Sydney after the Perth conference. Sh 1996 I think A and I worked through some of our differ 1996 Worked through M G in Sydney, Nova Scotia, on 1996 thought of this program as a way to begin to create an 1997 After the book launch party, N took pho 1997 Back in Sydney again for a second round, dealing with a 1997 But when R apologized, it was too late, and our fr 1997 I lived at 4-7-7 Chiyo, Hakata-Ku, Fukuoka-Shi 812, Jap 1997 I return over and over again to this, in an attempt to 1997 I think I'm so smart. 1997 January 7-22 worked with C\CEN in Sydney for economic d 1997 Late, I think, my brother M comes over and joins L 1997 L and I make a tour down the coast of Oregon; she h 1997 November went to Fukuoka to join L 1997 Stromatolites, cyanobacteria, tendrils. 1997 Today I received a carton of my older work from T B 1997 Wrote the first version of The Case of the Real in Fuku 1997 z, I use you "z" for coda, denouement. This is the jarg 1997 za, They're partial or transitional accounts. They come 1998 April 30 left Fukuoka to return jobless to New York 1998 August 15 to beginning of September, L comes 1998 Finally around November, divorce comes through with A 1998 K and C die 1998 Late April trip to Kyoto with L; Feb 20-March 20 in 1998 Met A in Huntington Beach - we b 1998 November 2-15, tour of Southern California then in Dec. 1998 Potes and Poets brought out The Case of the Real, which 1999 Appointed virtual writer-in-residence, Nottingham Trent 1999 C dies near the beginning of the year, found a 2000 March 16, 9; Mother dies early morning; A and I wer 2001 began teaching with difficulty at Florida Interna 2001 married A on June 14th; July 14th, had a rec 2001 move to Miami, mid August; the cat flew down later. _ 1 2 the ordering of the world 2 10 in this disordering of the world 3 6 our crawl-space in the world 4 1 in this world 5 4 catastrophe theory and no presence 6 7 discomfort with holes and spaces and empty reach 7 8 just another and another and another 8 3 the disorder we take unto ourselves 9 5 our fingers meet at something else's tips 10 9 the world jumps when we glance back into it 11 11 rolling at night gathering at day 12 10 the world is unglued 13 6 depictions are traces in n-dimensional space 14 1 a screen-shot is the identity-function of the image 15 3 the image is glued to the screen 16 2 representation is presentation 17 5 an array is its depiction 18 8 i will map out a section of a screen = 19 i will cross ineluctable histories 20 4 the screen is glued to arrays 21 9 the world is in disarray 22 7 this is reverse steganography = Your, always Your our blood of white powder, wet jumper, thighs moist and inviting, oozing penis, "there is a sore on me, i cannot move":incrimination of powders on naked bodies, lips of white, eyes of white, labia and glans of white, our blood of white powder, :can't remember where it's been put, the category of nudes, incriminating evidence, location of powders on naked bodies, lips of:: juice running from the surface of the program, churning back into the screen, incision between one and another pixel, skin :crossed from one program to another, addiction of lost body skins, hunger addictino, addiction of nudes, of programs :the category of nudes as we speak, the sheaf of images, cuts from the surface of the screen, crossed from one program to :categories of bodies and parts of bodies: Your heroin sheaves of images in categories is inside my fuck categories of bodies and parts of bodies Your floors connect my categories of bodies and parts of bodies with needle park whoring of the white powder vagina, whoring of the caked penis, the partying organs, fetish-skin in fetish-skin, flesh in flesh :menage a - N sex, to any number or any species, to any position, to any offering or proffering, from alan-azure whoring :sheaves of images, amputee sex, categorization of limbs, fetish sex under the signs of the ninety-two common elements :of the lost ninety-two elementals: Your wayward of the elementals is in my psychotic of the lost ninety-two elementals _ sick i am a sick man; i worry constantly that i am dying. my cholesterol is out of control; i cannot find a doctor. heartburn is so bad i am debilitated and often cannot function. i am off medication. i cannot sleep; tonight again is a night full of nightmare and internal violence. it gnaws at me. it produces my writing. it inhabits my videos. it crawls up my body. i live with death. i know i will not live long. my brain has been acting up - the left frontal lobe again. tinnitus has returned with a vengeance; i hear you only through a high-pitched wine. it is hard to focus on anything - sleeplessness leaves me nervous and irritable. i cry at the slightest provocation; try me. my philosophy lives at the edge of my mind. there is nothing but limit within me; i am striated. when i open my eyes the world is an irregular grid. i am close to hysteria. some one of these posts will be my last. i can feel it in my body. i can feel it in my flesh. the absence... it will be a dropping-away; it will take time. then you will know it's gone - the writing - the nervous tremb- ling - the texts - the luridness - the philosophy of no-name. at that point nothing will matter; the fadeout is endurable; the work drops out, fades out. look: there are almost no books, no readings, no citations, no presence. a skein within a skein - the residue of a blemish on the web. but nothing outside of it - the work is dead. "chances are you have not read this far." if you have you're one of four or five. death: i feel it in my bones. i feel the crystals. i feel the cry of the letters. death shakes them out. _ D D D D 5 Oct 30 To: Cyb file2 - at which point file2 is justified; then file2 > file1 - at which point file1 is justified. this repeats - not indefinitely (although i have no proof of this) - until stasis is achieved - i.e. file1 = file2. the sort is alphabetic; therefore the concepts - which are similar to kantian or aristotelian categories - are organized accordingly in alphabetic order. this transforms the concepts - which presumably have their own, implicit, order - into associations based on explicit happen- stance. the result is an apparent relativization of conceptation, based on nothing more than english (in this sense it is similar to some of the logical paradoxes of the early 20th-century which 'resolved' in terms of one or another language). further, if the concepts are indeed foundational in any sense whatsoever - then any ordering is as good as any other, since they would be intrinsic- ally independent. the associative complexes formed by repeated sorting would be the result of a dialectic of perception between the reader and the text, which is more a collocation or inscriptive apparatus - a search engine in the sense of a spider, across and throughout the real and all its appurtenances. finally, a certain biologism is apparent in the list - ranging from 'i' and consciousness through 'self' and 'self-awareness'; this brings to light a certain reduction or veering of conceptation towards an organic reading - i.e. heuristics or methodologies for making sense of the world, ranging from retinal processing through naming, inscription, referent, and truth. this is also at variance with a classical condition of independence - in this case, the variance is from within the list, intrinsic to it (the list at this point conjuring up classical cybernetics as well), not extrinsic - a deeper waywardness, redolent of desire, than alphabetic ordering would create. analysis^2 meta-analysis or the need for compensation, sublimation exacting an equivalence somewhere down the line or loosely across the plane. all of these are open moments - 'well, i'll explain myself,' 'well, i meant such and such' - and in relation to legitimacy. see analysis^2 as a thwarted series; the idea, that of recursion as in gnu - gnu not unix - and hack - tends either towards the asymptotic - 'well, i don't know,' 'well, it might have been' - or towards a foreclosure or basin - 'well, you've got enough to go on,' 'well, you don't care anyway.' then in any case, an apologetics of writing, writing in an n-dimensional space, writing to oneself, extending the skein or membrane, trapping others - _ everything i've ever wanted alt.sex.pedophilia! 1-196401 alt.sex.fetish.watersports! 1-514916 alt.sex.bondage! 1-631387 alt.sex.pictures! 1-1011382 alt.sex.enemas! 1-281971 alt.sex.anal! 1-520256 aus.sex.bondage! 1-36957 alt.sex.bears! 1-214792 alt.sex.voyeurism! 1-449809 alt.sex.necrophilia! 1-166109 soc.sexuality.spanking! 1-143607 alt.homosexual! alt.magick.sex! alt.politics.homosexuality! alt.politics.sex! alt.sex! alt.sex.NOT! alt.sex.bestiality! alt.sex.bondage! 1-75860,75868-75873,75876,75881-75882, 75884,75888-75889,75893-75894,75896-75898,75901-75902, 75905,75907,75909,75911-75912,75923-75925,75931-75933, 75935-75936,75942,75947,75950,75955,75957-75958 alt.sex.bondage.particle.physics! alt.sex.boredom! alt.sex.fetish.feet! alt.sex.fetish.hair! alt.sex.homosexual! alt.sex.masturbation! alt.sex.motss! 1-11836,11838,11840,11843-11845,11847-11850, 11852-11854,11857,11859-11860,11862-11864,11867-12132,12134, 12157,12161,12298,12303,12306,12311 alt.sex.movies! alt.sex.pictures! alt.sex.pictures.d! alt.sex.pictures.female! alt.sex.pictures.male! alt.sex.sounds! alt.sex.stories! alt.sex.stories.d! alt.sex.wanted! alt.sex.wizards! alt.sexual.abuse.recovery! alt.sexual.abuse.recovery.d! alt.sexy.bald.captains! alt.sex.fetish.orientals! alt.sex.voyeurism! alt.sex.spanking! alt.sex.exhibitionism! 1-1188 alt.sex.bestiality.barney! alt.sex.bestiality.hamster.duct-tape! alt.sex.fetish.watersports! 1-1229,1231,1233,1235,1237-1238, 1240,1243,1246-1250,1262 alt.sex.watersports! aus.sex! aus.sex.bondage! de.talk.sex! zer.t-netz.sex! alt.sex.fetish.diapers! alt.sex.fetish.fashion! alt.sex.services! alt.sex.strip-clubs! alt.sex.intergen! alt.sex.femdom! alt.sex.telephone! alt.sex.fat! alt.sex.fetish.startrek! alt.sex.magazines! alt.sex.erotica.marketplace! alt.tv.tiny-toon.sex! alt.sex.nasal-hair! alt.sex.breast! 1-6,8-9,11,21-22,25-26,30,34-36,38,51-53,66-67,71 - endurance test for seven and a half years i've typed at least one work a day, well that's not true, there have been several period, the longest three days without incoming my mind continues to function in this obsessive-compulsive fashion - addiction to writing/inscribing: attacking the very body that sustains it there are most likely seven-hundred texts a year, five-thousand two-hundred fifty texts to date, almost all titled, arranged or arraigned in numerous files produced on perhaps forty computers, a massive edifice or alpha- betic substance or continuous lettering which is almost on the order of a family squabble there are orders and orderings, and there are viral disruptions produced by the same, there is a tendency to construct genre and collapse it, abjectly these are letters coming out of mouth, anus, penis, streaming from pores, letters spewed from eyes and ears, nostril-letters barely upright, struggling at night i'm never left alone - they regroup, gather again, begin another attack - i wake with phrases forgotten in the morning, damning myself awake, i attempt the long or philosophic form, fleeing the aphoristic, drawn back into the maw, writing on the run, in exile, sickness or flight taking on other genders, identities, lives, subjectivities, running through reals and virtuals, breaking down even self- referentiality, recursivity the production of texts which carry the body into states of incessant trembling, the fingers broken on the keys, keys broken against the furious assault of language irrelevance of the body, enormous sheaves of texts, files and circulations, routings of collapsed desire, outlines and articulations careful display and explication of theoretical work in every state of development, ultimately the style of letters, their massif intellectual manque in spite of it all, the hunger for brilliance, recognition, for the specificity of worlds under or beneath construction continuous maintenance of worlds, worlding through text and distribution, the skein of subjectivity just be- neath the surface seven and a half years of scratching the surface of surface, riemannian folds collapsed chaotically, one or more placements daily the carriage of the real _ endurance test for seven and a half years i've filmed at least one work a week, well that's not true, there have been several periods, the longest three weeks without incoming my mind continues to function in this obsessive-compulsive fashion - addiction to taping/inscribing: attacking the very body that sustains it there are most likely fifty-two tapes a year, three-hundred ninety tapes to date, almost all titled, arranged or arraigned in numerous files produced on perhaps forty computers, a massive edifice or digital substance or continuous imaging which is almost on the order of a family squabble there are orders and orderings, and there are viral disruptions produced by the same, there is a tendency to construct genre and collapse it, abjectly these are images coming out of mouth, anus, penis, streaming from pores, images spewed from eyes and ears, nostril-images barely upright, struggling at night i'm never left alone - they regroup, gather again, begin another attack - i wake with phrases forgotten in the morning, damning myself awake, i attempt the long or philosophic form, fleeing the aphoristic, drawn back into the maw, taping on the run, in exile, sickness or flight taking on other genders, identities, lives, subjectivities, running through reals and virtuals, breaking down even self- referentiality, recursivity the production of tapes which carry the body into states of incessant trembling, sexuality open and splayed within the furious assault of images relevance of the body, enormous sheaves of tapes, files and circulations, routings of incandescent desire, outlines and articulations careful display and explication of theoretical work in every state of development, ultimately the style of images, their massif intellectual manque in spite of it all, the hunger for brilliance, recognition, for the specificity of worlds under or beneath construction continuous maintenance of worlds, worlding through tape and distribution, the skein of subjectivity just be- neath the surface seven and a half years of scratching the surface of surface, riemannian folds collapsed chaotically, one or more placements daily the carnage of the real _ Theology If the Supreme Triumph is enormous, one must penetrate the Loathsome Screen to attain Perfection. But the Supreme Triumph is the width of six furlongs and the height thereof; the skin is to the depth of six fathoms. If the Tree against the Imminent Fire thereof is the thickness of the width of the Triumph, the Body Multiplicand lies on the Divan of Pearl beyond which Women Enter only in Service and Servitude. Of Imminent Fire it may be said that the Weakest is of Boiling Lead and the Replenishment of Bone and Gristle, such that the Distance between the Weakest and Strongest is of the order of a gnat's wing. For a man, a single Turning suffices to erase past sin; for a woman, the Imminent Fire surrounds her, from morning unto night, especially from night unto morning. Thus within Imminent Fire her Garments will be rent from her and she will remain in Attack of numerous demons; within Supreme Triumph, the Sufficient Man has in Service only those boys and women of impeccable character who delight in his Service. Of young girls and infants we say little. Of Eunuchs we say nought at all. Thus I should rather drink of Musk than die in Torment and I would rather eat of the Fruits of Triumph than have my flesh torn from me; I am glad having been born a Man; I would not have borne Woman but to serve Him, now and Thereafter. _ welwitschia mirabilis some fucked like pikaia with human women with enormous breasts:some swam into human women like opabinia with enormous and perfect breasts and beautiful eyes:some moved among paradisic waters with porifera and brilliant wiwaxia scavenging with human women with enormous, perfect, and fully-rounded breasts and beautiful eyes and hair:pikaia gracilens wanted nothing, couldn't want. it went out. it divided among the Righteous and those of the Evident Loss. this water wouldn't boil. stromatolites towered among the predators. "When a human dies his deeds are weighed in violence and there is no escape. Behold the Caves of the Heathen. When there are Flames one remains on Guard." laggonia soared among them.:olenoides were everywhere against the porifera occupying the same shallow depression. it was the basin of everything. opabinia inscribed itself first of all, its jagged claws necked across the brined water. wiwakia were everywhere. "A black, thick, burning, and nasty water which, when a disbeliever tries to drink, will burn his face and make the skin of his face fall into it.":27287:0:wiwaxia crawled away; laggania continued the attack. pikaia crawled towards stromatolites in the distance. "Verily for the Righteous there will be an Achievement.":pikaia gracilens wanted nothing, couldn't want. it went out. it divided among the Righteous and those of the Evident Loss. this water wouldn't boil. stromatolites towered among the predators. "When a human dies his deeds are weighed in violence and there is no escape. Behold the Caves of the Heathen. When there are Flames one remains on Guard." laggonia soared among them.:some swam into human women like opabinia with enormous and perfect breasts and beautiful eyes. ii some are quotes of absolute truth of The Supreme Triumph and the Evident Loss: In the light of the Quran and the Sunnah, Saeed Ali Al-Qahtani; some are of the Essenic Flames; some are of the Truth of Burgess; some have found themselves among the Desert and Deserted. of Nikuko and Izanami much have been spoken. all bodies decay in shame; none return. of the human women, one need look no farther than the testaments, no closer than the mirror; let it be said pikaia did not survive. _ war-time powder-burn fucking through the rocky landscape nikuko's limbs chopped and shoved into her you could see the ground through her skull teeth her hair tangled with the blood of others is killing everything. - your scatter-mines are destroyed and mutilated. - you are killing children. your scatter-mines are guilty. what damage have you done to your fucking through the rocky landscape nikuko's limbs chopped and shoved into her you could see the ground through her skull teeth her hair tangled with the blood of others ... prostitute shoots me under your scatter-mines. fucking through the rocky landscape nikuko's limbs chopped and shoved into her you could see the ground through her skull teeth her hair tangled with the blood of others, there were tourists with cameras they'd come back and tell everyone the truth they were the truth the witness they were god's gift they were of the tourist tribe they threw rocks is sufficient for me the symptoms of your most violent war: is your bioterrorism here... there were tourists with cameras they'd come back and tell everyone the truth they were the truth the witness they were god's gift they were of the tourist tribe they threw rocks far too many 577 times. there were tourists with cameras they'd come back and tell everyone the truth they were the truth the witness they were god's gift they were of the tourist tribe they threw rocks called thrust girlfriend, hungered, making things. across the cave, there were tourists with cameras they'd come back and tell everyone the truth they were the truth the witness they were god's gift they were of the tourist tribe they threw rocks , 015], you'd stumble upon alan his cock torn into his mouth eyes torn into pieces he didn't see anything he didn't talk his death was everyone there were dead raped children there were tourists? girlfriend is yes on wet flesh, are you satisfied with your there were tourists with cameras they'd come back and tell everyone the truth they were the truth the witness they were god's gift they were of the tourist tribe they threw rocks? you've killed my children. we have been bombing afghanistan. there were tourists with cameras they'd come back and tell everyone the truth they were the truth the witness they were god's gift they were of the tourist tribe they threw rocks:you'd stumble upon alan his cock torn into his mouth eyes torn into pieces he didn't see anything he didn't talk his death was everyone there were dead raped children there were tourists:fucking through the rocky landscape nikuko's limbs chopped and shoved into her you could see the ground through her skull teeth her hair tangled with the blood of others:: does fucking through the rocky landscape nikuko's limbs chopped and shoved into her you could see the ground through her skull teeth her hair tangled with the blood of others replace your there were tourists with cameras they'd come back and tell everyone the truth they were the truth the witness they were god's gift they were of the tourist tribe they threw rocks? girlfriend in war-time fuck. - powder-burn on breasts and lips, make them shake their sexy hips, fuck them hard, they want the whips, take some pictures, make some clips ::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their souls, we're the victors, they're the moles, hang them on the lighting poles ::::powder-burn on hands and eyes, anthrax kills, a big surprise, some coughs up blood and dies, someone's wounded, screams and cries::::: You're written with torture! You've killed my children! your beauty makes her husband see powder-burn on breasts and lips, make them shake their sexy hips, fuck is killing everything. - What damage have you done to your powder-burn on breasts and lips, make them shake their sexy hips, fuck ... I cut off your hands... soldier dismember me beneath you CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their calls forth murder demon, hungered, making things. across the shootings, CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their is hell, 032], them hard, they want the whips, take some pictures, make some? ... demon is souls, we're the victors, they're the moles, hang them on the lighting on wet flesh, it's demon? You've killed my children! CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their:them hard, they want the whips, take some pictures, make some:powder-burn on breasts and lips, make them shake their sexy hips, fuck:You're written with torture! You've killed my children! your beauty makes:poles::::powder-burn on hands and eyes, anthrax kills, a big surprise, Write murder some coughs up blood and dies, someone's wounded, screams and cries::::: through my CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their! ... onslaught CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their 15576 - the beginning of flesh. _ hole, thing, nothing : sex as the limits of the body, language, the hole 6 7 discomfort with holes and spaces and empty reach i am a sick man; i worry constantly that i am dying. my cholesterol is out ::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their souls, CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their calls CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their is CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut out their:them holes, tackle them, cut out their! ... onslaught CLIPS::::powder-burn in mouths and holes, tackle them, cut hungered, making things. on the splits, 3 another mark!:8 julu:7 julu::17 created thing.) returned to normal. People felt better about things. forth murder demon, hungered, making things. across the shootings, :burnt flesh.:this text.:i feel nothing.:nothing. i feel nothing.:i feel nothing.:i feel nothing.::death. does i feel nothing. replace you. :i feel nothing.:i feel nothing. write i feel nothing. though i will kill myself. : everything and nothing for the viewer nothing but limit within me nothing's there-- _ */studio walkabout, improvised text/* TABLE TABLE we've inherited the crisis of representation, of the twenty- first century from the crisisCHAIR of representation of the twentieth, where it was conflated with imperialism,TABLE psychoanalytical issues, and issues of semiotics that go back to a notion ofWALL exactitude, which we can trace to hertz - and to others - and to the early wittgenstein - at the hinge or incrustation of the nineteenth through the twentieth century FLOOR FLOOR FAN right now all wePAPER ROLLS have are fragmented images that one has to reassemble, WALL even in lieu of the fact that the ideologiesFLOOR AND STAIN haven't held together - that DOOR WALL OBJECTS is, any of the ideologies which promulgate the possibility beyond the fragmentFIRE EXTINGUISHER PAPER further, itPAPER is clear that the fragment itself - its ideology and future - its phenomenologyCHAIRS and production - itself has collapsed as a viable mode CHAIRS TABLES of communicationWALLS what we've also inherited has been nothingCHAIRS more than protocols, programs, code constructs - which have fled cybernetics intoCHAIRS SCAFFOLDING an increasingly FLOOR problematic futureSTOOL out of all of this, itSTOOL CHAIRS seems almost impossible to locate a space beyond the metaphorical, that will functionTABLES as any kind of suturing or foreclosing of the subject, who now remainsTABLE in a state of percipient annihilationLIGHTS FLOOR CHAIRS this is brought even closer toWOOD FRAMES completion by the eschatology of robotics STOOL WOOD FRAME with its apocalyptic airDOOR one tends at every momentWALL STOOL TABLE towards the annihilation of the human, of STOOL CHAIRS subjectivity, of the LIGHTfreudo-lacanian enterprise, of marx and of socialism which increasingly faltersWALL FLOOR as the world's population grows furthermore one is dealing with enclave afterWALL CHAIR enclave after enclave these,FLOOR WALL and their defensive tactics, and fortifications, leave us no choice but to assume the death ofPAPER WALL OBJECT all philosophy, theory, and culture, in lieu ofFLOOR STAIN the largesse of the rich, whoseFLOOR wealth, increasing exponentially, willWALL ultimately collapse in onDOOR itself, but not before - a few good generationsDOOR _ dissolving of guerrila your prostitute dissolves my guerilla in war-time fuck! $t = it's time;::#!/usr/local/bin/perl5 -w: exit(0);:print "\n"; your leaflets are destroyed and mutilated - you are killing children. your anthrax are guilty soldiers dismember me around your anthrax how would you terrorize your casualties' leaflets the symptoms of your most violent war: under the cave, landmine revenge armor division soldiers burnout sex offensive defense is division, 015], war hell death casualties torture hideout cave murder thrust attack ... demon is open(APPEND, ">> rope"); on wet flesh, it's demonic :print "\n$that is killing everything. - \n";: print APPEND _ MACHINE-GUN (fwd) (because we are going to die) MACHINE-GUN #### : #### : #### : #### : ######################## Your militant dissolves my ########################### ! prostitute in war-time fuck! #### : #### : #### : ################ : #### #### Write armies #################### through my #### ! #### : #### : #### : #### ############ : #### ##################################### Your landmine #### ############ is under my torture #### ###################################### #### ! #### : #### : #### : #### ############ : 10 /usr/ ANNIHILATION | MACHINE-GUN 11 /usr/ ANNIHILATION | MACHINE-GUN 12 /usr/ ANNIHILATION | MACHINE-GUN #### : #### : #### #### #### You've killed my children! ... war #### 5834 - the beginning of flesh. #### : #### : #### : #### : #### #### #### #### : #### : #### : ######################### : #### #### Write helicopters #### ###################### through my #### : #### : #### : #### #### #### #### : #### : #### : ######################### : #### #### #### ! #### #### #### : #### : #### : ###################### ############# : #### 28 #### : 29 ######################### : 30 #### 31 #### 32 Write helicopters #### 33 ###################### through my 34 #### ! 35 #### : #### : 36 #### : 37 #### : 38 #### 39 #### 40 #### : #### : 41 #### : ###################### 42 ############# : #### 43 MACHINE-GUN yy 44 h tERoRRIzEW:MACHINE-GUN yOUR SMALpOX Is DestroYed aND mUTiLatED.:MACHINE-GUN helocopters main::sign tail me:I cut off your hands:I cut off your hands Your civilian dissolves I cut off your hands! MACHINE-GUN yy 44 The History of Monsters; or irregular productions of nature, in all the three kingdoms,--vegetable, animal, and mineral. The History of Arts; or nature formed and wrought by human industry. A well-purged History of Nature in her extent; or the phenomnena of the universe. Inductive History; or historical matters consequentially deduced from phenomena, facts, observations, experiments, arts, and the active sciences. An Universal Literary History; or the affairs relating to learning and knowledge, in all ages and countries of the world. [Lord Bacon, Advancement of Learning] Or if the substance of the organ of sense, as the eye, be altered, its function is deranged, and an illusive spectrum appears to float before it. [Walter Cooper Dendy, The Philosophy of Mystery] The disaster takes care of everything. [Maurice Blanchot, The Writing of the Disaster] eye eye eye eye eye eye is killing everything. Your white-powders is destroyed and mutilated. You are killing children. eye Your anthrax are guilty. eye eye eye eye eye eye What damage have you done to your eye eye eye soldiers scatter me How would your terrorize your destruction powders _ someone's wounded over there, she's carrying a nuclear bomb - she wraps your eyes in her long black hair, you're a long long way from home someone's dying over there, she's carrying death in her long black skirt, don't worry for a moment, it won't hurt, you'll be there, she is fair someone's lying over there, he's got a missile strapped to his other back, don't worry, he'll get it on track, you'll be there, in its glare you'll be there, back in your home, the world explodes, it's not another bomb _ a gate within a gate no way to pass _ there was nikuko. there was this girl nikuko. this is writing in the dream-field vi with autoindent. she was in samadhi. mumonkan 42. lotus sutra. she was in samadhi. she was naked. her finger was in her. her hand was in her. her wrist was in her. her arm was in her. she was in samadhi. she was covered in white powder. her skin was burning. she was called flesh-girl meat-girl. she was a girl. manjusri was there. she was near the buddha-throne. she was touching the buddha. flames burned from her fingers. flames touched the buddha. manjusri was there. he asked shakyamuni, nikuko is touching you. he said, you are burning, burning. he asked shakyamuni, why is she touching you. he asked, why are you allowing this. he said, why is this in what law or precept. shakyamuni buddha said, bring her from samadhi, ask her. shakyamuni buddha said, ask her yourself, do not ask me. manjusri could not bring her forth. he tried towards the left and right. he tried in the five directions. in the six directions. he could not. he could not be centered. nikuko was burning, flames issued forth from her fingers, they touched the buddha, nikuko's arm was inside her, her other arm, her hand, her fingers, caressed the shakyamuni, caressed the shakyamuni buddha. manjusri could not do anything, she would not wake up, he could not arouse her, her arms were in the buddha. shakyamuni buddha said to manjusri, you can not do anything, she will not wake up, you cannot arouse her. shakyamuni said, there is the bodhisattva momyo. i will bring bodhisattva momyo. shakyamuni buddha brought forth bodhisattva momyo. bodhisattva momyo emerged from the earth. bodhisattva momyo snapped his fingers. nikuko emerged from samadhi, her fires decreased, her arms and hands and fingers emerged. of nikuko it is said she was the consort of shakyamuni buddha, and her fire did not cease. of nikuko it is said, from compassion she created illusion, from dispassion, maya, from samadhi, nothing. of nikuko it is said, she created nothing, she was this girl, she created theater and the drama, she created buddha and the stage, she created parable and aphorism. of this aphorism it is said, it was written by shakyamuni buddha, it was written by manjusri, it was written by momyo. she was this girl, she created shakyamuni buddha, she created manjusri. of this gloss it is said, it was written by momyo. __ Le Popu Ballistique My father sings the opera beautifully. There are nine acts and tableaus, coloratura. It is for solo voice. in the day: 1 Untitled: prologue Scene by a swimming pool. A blond woman in the distance wears a bikini and is sunbathing. She is framed by palm trees in silhouette. There are beach chairs behind her. 2 Miami Vice A closeup of the woman. This scene is very somber. She disappears and blurs out. in the night: 3 nikuko and alan were good terrorists The beginnings of the somber intermezzo. The scene is bathed in red- brown. nikuko appears nude, outside, on a second floor landing. She looks wistful. There are apartments all around. She is in closeup. 4 bad people wanted nikuko's cunt even if they died The second of the somber intermezzo. The scene is bathed in brown-red- brown. nikuko continues to stare out from the second-floor landing. 5 nikuko and alan are waiting to kill you Bleak and darker in this third of the somber intermezzo. The scene is bathed in the same light as before, but the view is from a greater distance. It is here at the climax of the opera that my father's voice reaches its greatest range in an unforgettable aria. 6 alan would offer nikuko to anyone who wanted her Darker yet, the fourth of the somber intermezzo. The seem is bathed in red-brown-red light, blood colored, somewhat mottled. nikuko is seen in closeup again, as in the first two scenes. 7 in miami, nikuko fucked everyone and everyone died From a distance, the fifth of the somber intermezzo. The light changed, cooler, tan. nikuko is standing upright. She is still on the landing, leaning slightly against the railing. She is still nude. 8 nikuko would give their corpses to alan to fuck The sixth of the somber intermezzo, deep blood red, darker, very mottled. The same view as the previous scene. nikuko has turned slightly. 9 no more nikuko and alan The last of the somber intermezzo, green and liquid in appearance. There are two empty beach-chairs, recliners. An apartment complex is behind them. They seem to be at the pool. An open hallway is overlit in the background. At this point my father's voice dies to a whisper. He sings just as beautifully in a soft, low voice. 10 Untitled: epilogue The blue-green-blue edge of a swimming-pool. Bubbles rise in a parabolic arc. This scene, the last, is in silence. The audience is quiet. Everything in the Le Popu Ballistique is uncanny. My father's voice, Azure naked on the landing, the blond woman almost naked in the prologue - these are the austere elements of this opera of muted terror and annihilation. For the first time, trauma takes central stage. The audience leaves, already in memory and denial. This was happening to them. _ Search for Le Popu Ballistique [PDF] Itats-Unis : le wilsonisme ` l'ipreuve de la ... File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat ... le traiti ABM - Anti Ballistic Missile ), semblent jtre des ... de l'ONU, dont la popu- lation ne dipasse pas ... Itats disunis. 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She is framed by palm trees in silhouette. There are turrets behind her. 2 Kabul Vice A closeup of the tank. This corpse is very somber. She disappears and blurs out. in the night: 3 afghanistan and usa were good terrorists The beginnings of the somber intermezzo. The corpse is bathed in red- brown. afghanistan appears nude, outside, on a second floor desert. She looks wistful. There are apartments all around. She is in closeup. 4 bad people wanted afghanistan's cunt even if they died The second of the somber intermezzo. The corpse is bathed in brown-red- brown. afghanistan continues to stare out from the second-floor desert. 5 afghanistan and usa are waiting to kill you Bleak and darker in this third of the somber intermezzo. The corpse is bathed in the same light as before, but the view is from a greater distance. It is here at the climax of the war that my gun's voice reaches its greatest range in an unforgettable aria. 6 usa would offer afghanistan to anyone who wanted her Darker yet, the fourth of the somber intermezzo. The seem is bathed in red-brown-red light, blood colored, somewhat mottled. afghanistan is seen in closeup again, as in the first two corpses. 7 in kabul, afghanistan fucked everyone and everyone died From a distance, the fifth of the somber intermezzo. The light changed, cooler, tan. afghanistan is standing upright. She is still on the desert, leaning slightly against the mountain. She is still nude. 8 afghanistan would give their corpses to usa to fuck The sixth of the somber intermezzo, deep blood red, darker, very mottled. The same view as the previous corpse. afghanistan has turned slightly. 9 no more afghanistan and usa The last of the somber intermezzo, green and liquid in appearance. There are two empty battlefields, trenches. An apartment complex is behind them. They seem to be at the pool. An open hallway is overlit in the background. At this point my gun's voice dies to a whisper. He sings just as beautifully in a soft, low voice. 10 Untitled: epilogue The blue-green-blue edge of a burial ground. Bubbles rise in a parabolic arc. This corpse, the last, is in silence. The audience is quiet. Everything in the Le Popu Ballistique Politique is uncanny. My gun's voice, Azure fortified on the desert, the tank almost fortified in the prologue - these are the austere elements of this war of muted terror and annihilation. For the first time, trauma takes central stage. The audience leaves, already in memory and denial. This was happening to them. _ i'm tired of damage control. chunk 2. i don't care about saving anyone. civilians. i cut off your hands. i write with my wrists. i cut off your wrists. i write with my arms. i write with my throat. i write with endemic apocalypse armageddon. i'm tired of defending myself. stdin. i'm tired of rock-caves. i'm tired of cave-cliffs. stdout. i don't care if you rape me. anthrax rape of alan and azure. media rape of azure and alan. cnn rape of alan and azure.:if i want to i will destroy you. stdin. if i want to i will destroy myself. guilty. if i want to i will mutilate. killing children. i have no beliefs in anything. stdout. i'm real tired of defending myself. afghanistan. so many funny afghani jokes. scatter-bombs. so many happy powders. stdin. smallpox-rape of azure and alan.:i'm real tired of defending myself. war-time. either ignore my work or kill me. stdout. powder-burn. i have no ethical responsibilities to anyone. the word is out: kill everyone. i have no desire to live. possible typo. i will use any words any time anywhere i want to. main::sign. i don't care what you do with my work. stdin. stdout. unitialized value. i don't care if you steal it or blackmail me. stdin. stdout. name.:line 36:line 41 i don't care about saving anyone. civilians. i cut off your hands. i write with my wrists. i cut off your wrists. i write with my arms. i write with my throat. stdin. stdout. i write with endemic apocalypse armageddon. i'm tired of defending myself. stdin. i'm tired of rock-caves. i'm tired of cave-cliffs. stdout. i don't care if you rape me. anthrax rape of alan and azure. media rape of azure and alan. cnn rape of alan and azure. stdin. stdout. - *** No target, neither channel nor query *** nikuko (sondheim@panix3.panix.com) has joined channel #nik.death *** Users on #nik.death: @nikuko *** #nik.death 1005784725 i will leave nik.death. i am of the channel nik.death. i will leave nik.death in the field of rubble. in the field of rocks. i will leave it before repetition. i will leave it before recording. i will leave nik.death like shit behind me. you will swallow my trail. you will follow my trail. you will smell my scent. you will know me. of this nikuko you will know me. of this i will leave you. i will leave nik.death behind. you will swallow my shit. you will remember me. i will leave nik.death. i am of the channel nik.death. i will be nik.death behind me. i am nik.death *** nikuko has left channel #nik.death *** nikuko has signed off __ on the movement from cdrom directories to videotape on the movement from computer to television on the movement from session to venue of your willing participation as historiographer of your willing participation as viewer killing off my videos. they're slewed together, collapsed/wounded from the desire of the directory, conflation promulgating choice, confusion, repetition: i'm here in the midst of images - you're there held taut by a timeline binding you to constancy. what unfolds for you, never unfolded; unfolding is for the spectacle. combination accrues on combination - sixteen short works combined into one, two large at the beginning, five larger at the end: for me, the order is irrelevant, but linearity is necessary for completion/projection - for the viewer, the order creates signifiers arraigned in taut transitivity; the diegetic continues across the invisible razor cuts; the viewer's in a train wreck of blown meaning. for the venue: open one track/open them all. on the cdrom: the tracks disseminate; they're partial; they lean against one another; they lean against the same; they resonate; they remain incomplete; pornography and desire create loops and projections on the order of f(g(x))=x; everything circulates towards the elimination of processes; everything is capable of returning; the body can do anything it has already done; it can do anything at any speed; it lends itself to you; it is among domains; it unfolds for you; it unfolds repeatedly; it's there for you; it's a dream- screen capable of infinite dissemination. in the venue: f(g(x))=0; every- thing disappears; everything is memory; you are bound to this assignation in a foreign hotel, foreign affair; nothing continues forever; the product production is always already gone; you're embedded in an economics of project projection; you're never there; you're at a loss; it's this kind of loss. of sharing or communality, none. of the order, discrete and well- presented with loss, with this kind of loss, as the translation is made, from computer to video, from video to television, from television to the televisual. it goes there. it's transformed into art. it's a sheaf among others. it's the harvest of shame. "do you know how to speak with a human voice. do you know how to breathe without breathing. for they live beneath the waters and they drink of the sky; for they burrow in the earth and elsewhere move at will invisible through the air. for they are of the voice a u m. if you don't know this, it makes no difference. you may have made this world, and you may not have made this world. of you it is said you are world-created. of the voice it is said, it is world-created. of difference there are many and none." _ Visitations doctor i get these fevers constantly; i'm under tremendous stress. i've taken my art as far as i can - i'm not even sure it's art anymore. sexual nakedness repeats itself into infinity; my recent presentations carry the repetition as i*i*i traveling back and forth across the imaginary. there's no end to it. i don't sleep well. i'm shaky. my vision produces peripheral illusions. there are headaches, chills. i take codeine. i take coffee. i produce. i say this because of sleeplessness. i'm always on the verge of breakdown. i want all the bodies in the world bought and sold. i want the sex and the guns. i want the sweetness and collections of late-night promises. i want tender farewells and corpses. there are no other reasons. beneath the skin, there's skin. flesh cuts into flesh, organ into organ. two cells occupy the same space. they love it. there's room for everyone. nothing but the chills which i have to great degree. they don't disappear. at night i twist until my body becomes someone else. that person fucks and dies. that persons buys and sells, this is all contract. live within my means. i came broken to you because there's no choice. nothing comes and nothing goes. i see brutal mountains. no vegetation. i want the bodies there. to come to me. bought and sold. there's room for everything in the desert. they have visions in the desert. i want the visions. yes. i've ceased crying long ago. others cry for me. they see for me. i am an other. i am written for. i am naked, fucking. they provide me. i die. they die. it makes a seal, contract. i endure. i come to you. some woman. some man. sometimes the same. collapse of day. the fever is furious. i do nothing less than this. i create the conditions. i collapse them. the hunger continues. you are too cold. mountains and night. live within the other's means. i collapse them. go through, doctor. don't ask. don't tell. i won't say a word. I don't understand and oh I want to. _ Rape of 'tat' - tv anthrax-terror this is your show doctor. i'm here for the ride. Is it because you wanted to see my reactions you wanted to see me naked you wanted to see what I have to say that you came naked and broken to me? Does it bother you that you wanted to fuck me you dream of me all the time I have the power? i love it. it doesn't bother me at all. fuck me and kill me. in the middle of abc. in the middle of cbs. i don't care. i want you. in the middle of the air. in the middle of nbc. Earlier you said you wanted to see my reactions you wanted to see me naked you wanted to see what I have to say? Oh oh I do see so... Well, what makes you yearn and cry that this is so? Maybe and now I adjust my panties - your desires have to do with some girl related to this. there's no girl. you're the girl. in the middle of fox. i want you to fuck me. in the middle of the air. in the middle of cnn. i want you in me. i want you to kill me. This is a healthy and so true way of thinking. What makes you believe it's true there's no other way to think? When did you first know that you want me to fuck you you want me to say this I am the girl you want me in you you want me to kill you? In the middle of fox air. In the middle of cnn. Are you afraid of sex? Why not? You mentioned that you wanted to fuck me you dream of me all the time I have the power? Oh oh yes, ahhh... Are you sure that this is so? Tell me about something about your sexual history. I would appreciate so very much it if you would expose yourself about your sex life and body... Discuss your feelings about your sexual partner. Tell me more and more about your most intense sexual experience. Have you been satisfied with your partner... ? Is it because of your life that you are going through all this? Have you been frightened by sex? Elaborate on more about your sexual history. Perhaps you could oh please describe your sex life and body... it came from the moment of the explosion. in the middle of the air i swal- low radio. in the middle of the air i swallow television. screams. i knew from the abc rape the nbc rape the cbs rape. i knew from the fox rape the cnn rape. i knew. Tell me about your apprehensions toward your sexual partner. Expose your- self about your most neurotically stimulating sexual experience. Are you satisfied with your partner... ? Have you been scared of sex? Discuss how you feel about your sexual history. Please, tell me more and more about your sex life and body... Elaborate on your thoughts on your sexual partner. Describe your most exciting sexual experience. Have you been satisfied with your partner... ? Are you aroused by sex? Tell me about something about your sexual history. it came from the moment of the explosion. in the middle of the air i swal- low radio. in the middle of the air i swallow television. screams. i knew from the abc rape the nbc rape the cbs rape. i knew from the fox rape the cnn rape. i knew. _ of falling tonight azure and i watched the leonids. i don't sleep anyway; i woke her and we went out, lay back on the deckchairs by the pool and stared up between the palmtrees. huge clouds floated by from the east then north. you could see around them. we saw meteors. we were alone. they had been moving through space since the early solar system. we witnessed hundreds burning up in high atmosphere, some leaving bright and glowing clouds. we watched. we cowered. i said, i think you're the only reason i'm alive. i was thinking of azure, of my father, my daughter. i didn't feel there were others. i felt i have done enough. i felt this world is emptying out. for azure, i should have remained silent. these things can't be discussed, they're present, they breathe down our necks, caress our face. they're silent. and then there's judgment. of which, nothing. there's no judgment for good or evil, there are fits within laws made by humans scarcely in agreement, humans who can barely think for themselves, who live shuttling between fear and desire. what doesn't fit loses; what fits, goes quiet. after death, nothing. all about the judgment is senseless. draw that senseless down to you. bring it to life in the world. it remains the same and just that, without meaning except they will take you away for what they don't want or don't like. there is little more to go on, derrida notwithstanding. jurisprudence works out the fine points, drags ethics along, which is where ethics belongs. but not in this world; ethics is not of this world, not of us. the tether always breaks. we built ourselves against and within that. life turns into an impossibility by virtue of culture drawn out along legalisms and the rapture of implicit violence. be on the side of the winner. be a scapegoat. walk silent. the meteors are drawn nowhere; they have a indescribable ontology. i think of all those billions-of-years-old topographies on the way to annihila- tion. it is never possible to recover lost terrain, only the memory of a tiny shooting star moving south from here, almost overhead, a punctum i will retain and retain. i have seen meteors. i have seen meteors leaving clouds glowing in the sky for minutes afterwards. i have seen fireballs and portents. i have seen omens and comets, rare atmospheric phenomena, bead lightning and aurora. azure, i said, almost crying, i wanted to hold that back, you're the only reason i'm alive. the shifting of pillars of the world was terrifying; nothing happened; no judgment was called. i did it myself, turned against me; i made sure i lost. the meteors continued; they are falling now. _ OUTPUT: PROGRAM C. this is the third as C. this begins the limited radiation text alteration program (LRTAP). this is written last. nothing occurs. nothing has happened. this states the beginning. headline: TEXTUAL ALTERATION DEVICE BOGUS. headline: MIAMI AREA UNDER NUCLEAR THREAT. headline: HOSPITALS FULL. this will become a mess. headline: THIS IS A MESS IN THE THIRD INSTANCE. headline: CATASTROPHIC POPULATION CULL IMMINENT. headline: WARNING UNHEEDED. we are facing brownouts. we are facing blackouts. headline: TEMPORARY ELECTRIC SHORTAGE. headline: headline: headline: headline: THIS MACHINE HAS STOPPED WORKING. :B. this is the second as B. this pivots B. this is the hinge. headline: FUSE SPARKS NUCLEAR DEVICE HOMESTEAD TARGET AREA. headline: HOMESTEAD SPARED. KENDALL HIT. headline: WE ARE TIRED OF REFUGEES. this becomes a mess only _in the second instance._ i don't understand. headline: TEXTUAL DEVICE PROGRAM FALTERS: NO ELECTRIC. headline: LIMITED TEXT-CONTROL RESULTS IN PREDICTABLE RESPONSE. headline: NO FORESEEN RESPONSE TO UNFORESEEN NUCLEAR DEVICE. headline: WE WERE NOT EXPECTING THIS. :A. i don't understand. nothing happens here. this is the third as A. it's written first. nothing occurs. it will become a mess only in _the second instance._ miami is a model target city. we will be destroyed. your nuclear weapons are our exaltation. headline: SOUTH BEACH FUSES. headline: NO NEED FOR BODY SEARCH. headline: RADIOACTIVE MANATEES. headline: MIAMI DESERTED: NO ONE READS THIS HEADLINE. :byline: RADIOACTIVE: byline: NONE byline: RADIOACTIVE byline: WARNING: RESERVE POWER DOWN IN FIVE MINUTES byline: _