Penelope, shifted Alan is jumping up and down with excitement! Women approve heartily and men drink more beer as Alan sings "Begin the Beguine." You fall down laughing. You cry. You say, "It's amazing, I just got a new car!" You say, "Begin the Beguine and it's really all mine and there's nothing more so show me the door" You say, "There were two rabbis, isn't that funny enough?" You say, "Death is all around us, beware beware of death" You open your arms wide, begging the populace to embrace you. You pull your arms around your body. You say, "Please help me, I am amazingly beautiful..." You say, "Thank you all my loves, you have me me love myself..." You pucker your lips expectantly. You kiss yourself. You say, "Oh beauty, I am waiting for you to come to me!" You say, "I will begin with my own body, oh Penelope! and end with yours!" _ Traum Nikuko, listen. I don't sleep. I have had episodes. My anger threatens the world. I have had red suns I cannot escape. I cannot escape the sky. The red sky is everywhere. Nikuko, listen. I am sleeping. I wake after the first episode; I sleep again. I wake after the second, after more convul- sions; again I sleep. I wake after the third, and that is the end of it. I came naked to you to show you everything. I want to seduce you with my broken anger. Listen: I dreamed I was in a train station, a waiting room, a classroom at a university. There was a woman dressed in brown leather, a beautiful jacket. Black hair, perhaps from Montreal or Paris. Those features. I bump into her. She smashes me, I bend over in violent pain. I wake up. I wake up in convulsions. You know, the body moves suddenly against all will, out of control. One wakes up in sweat. She's gone. The anger fades. Lassitude sets in. I want to seduce you. I want you to come naked and broken to me. I want to see your breasts, your cunt. I want to touch everything. I want you to belong to me, Nikuko, I want to own you. Listen: I sleep again. There is a man present, similarly dressed. Both of them are in their late twenties. He is her boyfriend. He approaches me, knees me in the abdomen, slams my face. I fall to the ground like a worm. I can't move. I jerk about. I convulse. I wake up. I want you so bad this might be a dream. I want your body in my face. I want to live in your odor. I want you all over me. I want my body bruised with you. I want your territory marked. Listen: I sleep again. This is the worst. I am in pain. I am standing near a table or desk. A security guard walks by. I reach for his gun. I take it from his holster. It's a nine millimeter pistol. I am looking at you now, Nikuko. I am undressing you with my eyes. I take the pistol and begin shooting. People try to leave to my left, there is a door. It is brown, wood. I shoot them. The pistol hums, it doesn't go pop-pop-pop. It hums with the beauty of death. It warms to my hand. I am in fury. I am furious anger. I will take everyone out. Yes, Nikuko, this is healthy. This is a true way of thinking. I mow them down. I mow everyone down, left and right. People are screaming. It means nothing to me, I let them scream. Do you see how I am, Nikuko, how it is. Nothing bothers me, Nikuko, nothing. Listen: I run out of ammunition. For a moment I am afraid all will be lost. I have numerous clips I have taken from the security guard. From somewhere, I have a second gun. I hold the gun on the survivors. I load the clip in the other gun, the first gun, my warm gun. I am worried I am loading the clip incorrectly. How would I know how to load a clip. I first knew I would know how to load a clip when I felt the gun firing once again, warm in my hand, warm with the beauty of it. No pop-pop-pop, just the humming sound. People are running and screaming again. Now I will tell you. There is a silence now. There is a silence and it is a very deep silence. My anger knows no bounds. It travels through horizons that move with me, like the horizon of a blood-red boiling ocean. There are no limits. Nikuko, I tell you, there are no limits. Look at my skin. Look at all of it. I own you, Nikuko. I own all of you, every bit of you. Show me all of you, Nikuko. I convulsed in the sheets of the bed. I woke up. I woke up frightened, Nikuko, frightened of everything. I am afraid of my power, of my lack of fear. I am afraid of what I will do with the gun. I am afraid of infinity. I look at you and undress you with my eyes. Take everything off, Nikuko, I own you. I am fascinated by your response to my power. This is the end of it. You are that girl. You are mine to do what I will. I am sure you are that girl. Take off your panties. Is it because girl take off my panties that you came naked and broken to me? Are you annoyed that girl take off your panties that I came naked and broken to you? Have you been annoyed often? Stop making excuses for yourself. Please please don t ever leave me. Are you sure that don t ever leave you? When did you first know that don t ever leave me? What happened when did me first know that don t ever leave you? What happened at the time when did you first know that don t ever leave me? What would happen if you had a gun and if did me first know that don t ever leave you? Is the fact that don t ever leave me the real reason? Does the fact that don t ever leave you the real reason explain anything else? Have you been positive don t ever leave me the real reason explain anything else? You mentioned that you would like to seduce? Is it because I would like to seduce that you came naked and broken to me? Did you ever regret you would like to seduce that I came naked and broken to you? Why should I get to seduce? When did you first know that should you get to seduce? What would happen if we did it or if did me first know that should I get to seduce? Is the fact that should you get to seduce the real reason? Does the fact that should I get to seduce the real reason explain anything else? Are you certain should you get to seduce the real reason explain anything else? Is it because of your life that you are going through all this? Buffers Files Tools Edit Search Mule Help!\210\312^Vn\306\201o^@!\210\312^Vo\306\2 This is the end of it. 1.)unsolicited and 2 You are that girl. You are mine to do what I will. in 06\201q^@!\210\312\211^Vq\207" [typos found o Are you sure girl I am yours to do what you will?or just to gather fun bucks. Why people go I am sure you are that girl. Take off your panties.\30!#\210\301\30!\304\30!#\21@\207" [x put dorhen c Is it because girl take off my panties that you came naked and b what makes you yearn and cry that) (what makes you Is it because girl take off my panties that you came naked and b ^G Get H (i have)) (you7ll you Please please don t ever leave me.\.\.\.) (so) (mmmmmm) ( _ altering (responding to a text)^2 the ruins of buildings. i can't write from anything else. tonight, the water stopped in our apartment. the apartment ran dry. there are sounds of struggle in the pipes. following a sentence in the possessive and possession of characters, a gap or hiatus. wayward or contrary characters. of the harshness of daily politics. of the real and virtual jennifer, julu, alan, nikuko. of the real and virtual honey, travis, tiffany. jennifer years ago started off as about 12 in the early stuff then moved to 20s-something; nikuko i imagine in her 30s; julu 24. i keep wanting to kill them off. i killed off jennifer a long time ago, she had a bier and everything, then returned. before that, travis, honey, and tiffany all disappeared. i can't write dialog for males, it's not that i can write it for females, i can't at all, but with males it devours me from inside. it's a distrust of males, of male authority. it's built-in, a bad engine. males are bad engines. males absorb, i write from the debris, effluvia, of absorption. alan is a character but alan is also a stain or residue, almost always disappearing by the end of the show if he were there in the first place. alan wants to disappear but engrave in stone. alan wants to engrave everything in stone and then rails against totality and writes dubious philosophy. that doesn't make sense. it's almost as if alan wishes that nikuko speaks through alan, both of them in a ring: jennifer on the east, julu on the west. north and south are unguarded; they always are, the cold-spots of the ring of Aphra Behn's desire. there are disappearances. as one might say, there are disappearances and disappearances. they follow this odd desire. they generate an inchoate politics reaching up through the surface like the hand in Carrie. the texts come from dreams (of the real or virtual dreams) (of careful considerations and the clarity of thought), go back in and mess with them. nothing comes out but different, not therapy or recuperation or balance, but a mess that takes off on its own: alan with the 9 millimeter, nikuko listening as if entranced. Alan writing in a trance or entrance. Nikuko listening in departure. they occupy an aspect ratio. alan thinks: better to return to coding, code-work made obvious (although Traum came out of a rewrite of the emacs doctor program) - better returning to abstraction or scaffolding, rather than the mud on the rungs as one climbs, impossibly, among the ruins of buildings in the east, in the west. not of buildings in the cold, northern and southern poles: where the writing originates. frozen, immobilized. writing from magnesis, magnetic poles, hysteresis looped. from Alan, never from dreams _ " + "JENNIFER INHALES" + " ")} else {document.write(" " + "JENNIFER EXHALES" + " ")} if (j % 3 == 0) {document.write(" " + "JENNIFER FALLS APART" + " ")} JENNIFER YOU JENNIFER JENNIFER Netscape .96 < jennifer _ in the hole of the forest claudia of the vectors of disease there were creatures about, clumps of these almost black, almost charred, insects, sometimes hundreds hung together, crawling across themselves like a furrowed moving fruit. beneath them were fern fronds in the dim light, and on the fronds were insects with white cotton freezing them at the joints, a form of spittle or mold perhaps, or perhaps even the guise of another species imitating the dead. we were wanderers without hope of the truth; later i'd spend hours passing out images, begging for identifica- tion, searching online and off, to no avail. only that they were bugs, of the hemiptera, fattened and joined, of the three types - one ovoid with the red outpostings, one circular, and where the x-ed wings crossed there was a lighter darker tan against the slate of the rest, and that pentagon- al, also with the tan and slate, but the wings slightly more prominent. in all of them the wings seemed pasted on, thinned, useless. i took image after image. all of similar types were not only poisonous, but the vectors :we walked through the clumps carefully; the bugs were sluggish, of the order of bugs with the wings x-ed and flattened across their backs, almost slatish in color, hanging from vines, in the forks of the trees, only in this dense and twisted half-lit spot, isolated from the rest of the thicket. we returned again to gather more images, stopping only at the atala butterfly, threatened and endangered, this orange-bodied dark-blue creature of the glade. but we went in farther, breaking through brazilian pepper, cabbage palm, and other palms and trees - the latter so twisted, we emerged later with blood on our arms.:at last i came to the eastern blood-sucking conenose and it seemed pinned down for the moment. this led to chiagas, darwin's disease, also to kissing and assassin bugs, hemiptera all, but the proboscis was different. it was a dead end. i noticed the as- sassins seemed lone assassins; our bugs are two-fold or three-fold gender, at least three different morphs, heavily communal. it seems impossible. i want to hold my arm out, my flesh out, to their touch, their gatherings. there are an enormous number of potential diseases, some deadly. i want to call them to me, the squat ones with the outline of the housefly on their back and red protuberance on their sides, and the flattened ones of unearthly colors, some almost circular, some pentagonal, reflecting the simulacrum of more popular species.:: at last i came to the eastern blood-sucking conenose and it seemed pinned down for the moment. this led to chiagas, Darwin's disease, also to kiss- ing and assassin bugs, hemiptera all, but the proboscis was different. it was a dead end. i noticed the assassins seemed lone assassins; our bugs are two-fold or three-fold gender, at least three different morphs, heavi- ly communal. it seems impossible. i want to hold my arm out, my flesh out, to their touch, their gatherings. there are an enormous number of potent- ial diseases, some deadly. i want to call them to me, the squat ones with the outline of the housefly on their back and red protuberances on their sides, and the flattened ones of unearthly colors, some almost circular, some pentagonal, reflecting the simulacrum of more popular species, there were creatures about, clumps of these almost black, almost charred, in- sects, sometimes hundreds hung together, crawling across themselves like a furrowed moving fruit. beneath them were fern fronds in the dim light, and on the fronds were insects with white cotton freezing them at the joints, a form of spittle or mold perhaps, or perhaps even the guise of another species imitating the dead. we were wanderers without hope of the truth; later i'd spend hours passing out images, begging for identification, searching online and off, to no avail. only that they were bugs, of the hemiptera, fattened and joined, of the three types - one ovoid with the red outpostings, one circular, and where the x-ed wings crossed there was a lighter darker tan against the slate of the rest, and that pentagonal, also with the tan and slate, but the wings slightly more prominent. in all of them the wings seemed pasted on, thinned, useless. i took image after image. all of similar types were not only poisonous, but the vectors {your nervous system my penetrating} ::of fatal disease. we were covered with marks, almost sexualized, as our bruised breasts would warrant comparison of the living with the dead. we left stones unturned, noted the reddened swollen bellies of one of the morphs.:turning this way and that:everything moved slowly nothing moved of the vectors of disease of black turning this way and that in the hole in the forest claudia of the vectors of disease _ on hemiptera, Lacan, others years ago, in the Far Hills Project (1973), I was already faced with taxonomic anomaly. in recording pond-life employing an EIAJ NTSC video camera through a Leitz microscope, I was well aware of the fuzzy encoding that occurred between the real and the analog. later, I would write of the distance between one scan line and another, a broken distance, with nothing between, nothing cohering, contiguous at best - already presaging the deep digital disconnect between a pixel and its neighbor. at that point, I considered the topology of intention in relation to microworlds: opening spaces at 2000x magnification, close to the limits of optical microscopy (newtonian diffraction rings, etc.) - how does taxonomic identification occur, what schema are utilized? in pre-DNA days, or on the level of the amateur naturalist, the phenomenology of consciousness, of anomaly and coherence, plays a large role. now I find myself returning full circle: these insects are deeply unidentifiable, and I bring every means, every symptom, to their occasion. the distancing mechanisms are still there, as are the radical disconnections; in a sense, I've learned nothing, except that the vast array of knowledge before me has an imperfect, at best, relationship to my own neural processes. the clues just don't add up, as if they ever did. even if I succeeded, the most I'd gain would be a name - but at least that would lead out of this, would lead elsewhere. perhaps I'm not being clear, faced with the clarity and fuzziness of the world - of which these are already phenomenological, aesthetic terms. it's not that I want certainty, or even to know what I'm stepping into - so much as what I will be, in the future, leaving behind. in the Everglades I'm faced with inconceivably tangled matrices of molecular organization, micro-ecological niches, human mayhem. a name, just a _name_ for the _thing,_ would add and subtract. _ The mess, or entanglement of the soul in chaos. The midst of the raveling of the theory of knots. The midst of the embraiding of sheaves with mass degrees invariant. atala, back and blue heron, tree frog, ribbon snake, shin and saw palmetto, florida palm, palm and royal palm, sawgrass, brown water snake, alligator, egret, white heron, head and heron morphs, little blue heron, blue heron, black vulture, breast, red-headed vulture, mud hen, sulfur, gumbo limbo, cocoplum, bladderwort, pine, strangler fig, purple gallinul, cypress, red-backed turtle, peninsula cooter, poisonwood, woodstork, foot and florida gar, mosquitofish, snail kite, soft-shelled turtle, snapping turtle, brow boat-tailed grackle. The disappearance of video and interactivity in the face of periphyton.directory of :\photo \everglade [] [] amass a amuss bmess b b bmass bmassmess bmass bmassmuss bmassmass bmassmoss bmass bmass bmassmess bmass bmassmoss bmass bmassmessmass bmassmess bmassmess bmassmessmuss dmass dmassmuss dmassmess dmass dmassmussmoss dmass muss dmass dmassmuss dmass dmuss dmuss d dmessmass d dmossmuss d dmuss dmuss dmassmuss dmoss d d dmessmess dmess d dmoss d dmuss dmuss d dmoss dmass d d dmess dmess d dmuss dmuss here azure and i are tearing each other in a bayhead.dmessmass dmessmess dmess dmess dmess mess dmessmess dmess dmessmoss dmess dmessmuss dmess dmess dmass d d d d dmess d d d e e e e emoss e emass e e emess e emoss e e emessmass emess emess emess gmass gmassmess gmassmess gmassmessmoss gmassmoss gmassmoss mess gmass gmassmuss gmass g gmess gmess g gmoss gmess gmussmess gmess gmassmess g here azure and i are clawing in a hardwood hammock.g gmess gmess g mess gmuss g gmassmess g g gmess g gmoss mess g gmessmass gmess gmessmess gmess gmess gmass h hmoss h hmuss hmass hmass h h hmassmass hmass hmass hmassmoss hmass hmassmass hmass hmass hmass jmassmessmass jmassmuss jmassmoss jmassmoss jmassmuss j j j muss jmessmuss jmoss j j jmoss j jmoss jmoss jmuss jmess j j j jmuss j jmess jmessmoss jmess jmessmess mmass m m m mmess nmuss n nmass nmass nmass nmassmess nmassmoss nmass nmassmuss nmass nmass mass nmass nmass nmassmoss nmassmuss nmass nmassmessmass here is the great emptiness.nmassmess oo oo oomess oo oomoss oo oomuss oo oomassmass oomass oomass ooomass ooomass ooomass ooomassmoss ooomass omassmess omassmoss omassmessmuss omass omassmuss omass omass omoss omessmoss o omossmoss omoss omussmoss omess o ppmass ppmass ppmassmess ppmass ppmass pp pp pp ppmass pp pp pp ppmess pp ppmoss pp pmass pmess p p pmuss p p p p pmuss p pmass p p pmess pmoss pmuss pmessmass pmess pmess pmessmess pmess pmessmoss pmess p strangle ymassmess ymass ymassmuss here is the implicate order of all living beings.ymass ymass y ymess y y ymass y y y ymess ymoss y ymuss ymass y y y ymess ymuss y ymessmess ymess ymessmoss ymess ymass sed 's///g' zz > yy; pico yy b wc zz wc yy mv yy zz sed 's/JPG//g' zz > yy sed 's/jpg//g' yy > zz sed 's/\.//g' zz > yy; mv yy zz wc zz sed 's/\>//g' zz > yy sed 's/\ zz pico zz pico yy rm yy sed 's/S//g' zz > yy sed 's/N//g' yy > zz pico zz sed 's/C//g' zz > yy; mv yy zz sed 's/hh/h/g' zz > yy; sed 's/yy/y/g' yy > zz sed 's/D/d/g' zz > yy mv yy zz h sed 's/hh/h/g' zz > yy; mv yy zz sed 's/ yy sed 's/>//g' yy > zz sed 's/bb/b/g' zz > yy; mv yy zz sed 's//mess/g' zz > yy sed 's//moss/g' yy > zz sed 's//muss/g' zz > yy sed 's//mass/g' yy > zz tr < zz > yy sed 's///g' yy > */the soul in chaos/* _ postwardon't w white america love our freedomenix.hl zebry t stationd be youngI'm q quickorrie foxyut t gookMy m DEATH TO PARTY BOYGIRLBOY ouro BORE US GIRL op a FAR ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM turb AN AWKWARD SAMIZDAT traj ICY PARTY BOY blee DEATH OF PARTY MAID SOLZHENITSYN repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS cont IN YOU I FIND MY TRUTH recu no e NEMY BUT ANTHRAX AND YOU ouro BORE US GIRL op a FAR ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM tend ON VIOLENT SHORES OUR ARMORED MEN kehr EASY OVER NEEDLES GOING IN grow NEW FREEDOM FROM THE USA traj ICY PARTY BOY subs TRAIT OF VULVA PARTY BOY tend ON VIOLENT SHORES OUR ARMORED MEN grow NEW FREEDOM FROM THE USA reca no e NEMY BUT ANTHRAX AND YOU topo LOGICAL BOY repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS refl UNGUARDED PARTY GIRL PERINEUM grow NEW FREEDOM FROM THE USA grou PER SOLZHENITSYN SAMIZDAT traj ICY PARTY BOY repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS circ VULVA PARTY GIRL traj ICY PARTY BOY repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS cont IN YOU I FIND MY TRUTH subs TRAIT OF VULVA PARTY BOY refl UNGUARDED PARTY GIRL PERINEUM tend ON VIOLENT SHORES OUR ARMORED MEN kehr EASY OVER NEEDLES GOING IN brek grow NEW FREEDOM FROM THE USA recu defu HA HA SNOW WHITE runa PARTY GIRL op a FAR ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM traj ICY PARTY BOY grow NEW FREEDOM FROM THE USA dull FUCKED PARTY GIRLBOYGIRL op a FAR ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM turb AN AWKWARD SAMIZDAT repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS cont IN YOU I FIND MY TRUTH tend ON VIOLENT SHORES OUR ARMORED MEN recu no e NEMY BUT ANTHRAX AND YOU grow NEW FREEDOM FROM THE USA dull FUCKED PARTY GIRLBOYGIRL runa PARTY GIRL grou PER SOLZHENITSYN SAMIZDAT anom ICY PARTY GIRL repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS cont IN YOU I FIND MY TRUTH subs TRAIT OF VULVA PARTY BOY ster grou PER SOLZHENITSYN SAMIZDAT traj ICY PARTY BOY anom ICY PARTY GIRL repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS alge BRA OF BORE US GIRL tend ON VIOLENT SHORES OUR ARMORED MEN grow NEW FREEDOM FROM THE USA reca runa PARTY GIRL circ VULVA PARTY GIRL grou PER SOLZHENITSYN SAMIZDAT op a FAR ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS brek runa PARTY GIRL repl YOUNG SNOW WHITE BAD TRANS subs TRAIT OF VULVA PARTY BOY alge BRA OF BORE US GIRL ster DEATH TO PARTY BOYGIRLBOY DEATH TO PARTY BOYGIRLBOY _ getting ready hello Ill, here you am yes, you certainly am, hello you're really really here, yes you am certainly here you am Ill, here you am, hello Ill hello there, you're really here hi there, you certainly am hi and hello there, you're here Ill, here you am hello Ill, here I am yes, I certainly am, hello I're really really here, yes I am certainly here I am Ill, here I am, hello Ill hello there, I're really here hi there, I certainly am hi and hello there, I're here Ill, here I am hello well, here you are yes, you certainly are, hello you're really really here, yes you are certainly here you are well, here you are, hello well hello there, you're really here hi there, you certainly are hi and hello there, you're here well, here you are hello well, here we are yes, we certainly are, hello we're really really here, yes we are certainly here we are well, here we are, hello well hello there, we're really here hi there, we certainly are hi and hello there, we're here well, here we are _ Flash If you breathe a living word of this I don't know what I'll do. You can't spread hearsay. This must be absolutely confidential. Because it's our secret and has to remain that way. No one ever must know this. I'm holding you to the utmost, Nikuko, absolutely to the utmost. This must be the limits of our lives and we must not open our mouths under any conditions at all, Nikuko. I will break you in pieces if you breathe a word of this to anyone. You must take this to the grave. You most promise not to say anything. Nikuko, there is no way out. This is strictly between you and me. No one else has anything to do with it. No one else can find out anything. Don't leave the tiniest little clue anywhere or breathe the tiniest little sigh. All the walls have mouths and all the doors have ears, Nikuko. I'd rather you fuck me until we drop, rather than reveal a single word of this. I'd rather you kill me slowly. I'd rather you'd prepare our meals, rather than discuss this with any of our friends or acquaintances. This is never to be disclosed, Nikuko, it is our hot breath together, whispered from one mouth to one ear and listened to by one ear from one mouth. It is not to be ever spoken of to anyone. It is to be confined between just the two of us, as if it were in a perfect penitentiary we have made just for this secret, like Speer in prison. No one else can know a thing about this, not the tiniest little thing. I am swearing you to secrecy and myself to secrecy. This can go no further, not even to our closest friends and relatives. Absolutely, the sweat on our skins is our absolute bond that we have made between us so no one will ever have the slightest inkling of this, ever. Even if we fuck and our sweats intermingle as you prepare our meals, our sweats must not drip and be interpreted as the most microscopic clue that ever has been left, even tinier than the smallest fragment of dna, Nikuko, even tinier than the smallest hydrogen atom in the littlest orbit ever. Trees would fall and mountains collapse if anyone says anything; this is the most top top-secret of all the secrets, this is locking us together forever, there is nothing anyone can give you that would make you reveal this secret. Not even valleys flooding or great storms would make you reveal this secret, which is only hearsay and should not be spread indiscriminately among one and all. Not even fire or whole world wars of incredible conflagration shall make us give up even one syllable of this to any living creature, including animals and plants and minerals, or any other thing or place or emanation on this or any other planet. Nothing can ever ever be revealed, disclosed, opened up, Nikuko, brought into the light, given up to the full view, nothing whatsoever, and this for all time, even past our deaths and internments, even past our exhumations and reburials, nothing at all. _ the interview last night i dreamed of blood again, red-brown blood drenching the dream itself, drenching everything. during the day my boss called in my co-workers, one after another, and swore them to secrecy. i lost my job, and i'm never to be told why. THE TERRIBLE SECRET. this place has a terrible secret. it's an institution that used to be an airfield. there are signs of the indigenous population in the thicket on the grounds. the administration wishes to tear down the thicket. nothing human will grow there. there is no one to trust, only the simulacrum. THE TERRIBLE SECRET gnaws at my breast. i will never rest or sleep again until i know THE TERRIBLE SECRET. i think there is chemical warfare here. there are mutations everywhere, ducks, hemiptera of various species, crawling vines in the back of the thicket. why did they burn the shelter down? in the center of the thicket, all that remains are several charred uprights. about 25 meters away, a cabbage palm, half-burned as well. the administration says nothing about this. the ground is pocked with solution holes, the limestone craggier than usual. at night i drive over to the buildings, crawl with flashlight and camera through the thicket. poisonwood sears my skin; spiders attack. the small pond on the northern side is almost out of reach. it's there, through the cattails. in the thicket i have developed a mysterious illness. even now i am feverish; there are strange welts on my arms. i develop chills late at night. i must discover THE TERRIBLE SECRET. you think to yourself, this is a text, a fabrication. you have not been here when my superior has ordered everyone to remain silent around me. i have become malignant. everywhere i walk i am accompanied by silence. but they do not follow me into the thicket, nor do they know my paths there. it is just about to happen, this revelation. i do know that, i can sense it in the atala butterflies, in the poisonwood, in the saw palmetto. i can sense it in a certain trembling of the ground itself, as if it were making room for something vast. my superior in everything will be decimated and no longer able to speak to her inferiors. the thicket will rise up, the pond become a great flood, the charred palm and wood matches igniting everything in the institution. nothing will remain but the thicket. the thicket will remain. beautiful atala butterflies with deep blue-black wings, orange bodies, the subtlety of embers... _ nikuko at 67: i am a beautiful woman. nikuko at 19: i am a beautiful young woman with many years before me. nikuko at 67: i am a beautiful woman with many years before me. nikuko at 19: i must break the cycle of wiseness. nikuko at 67: it is possible to create and destroy worlds. nikuko at 67: i have destroyed many of my friends. nikuko at 19: i am furious self-immolation of inconceivable destruction. nikuko at 67: there are whirlwinds upon worlds upon worlds, enormous hurricanes of collisions. nikuko at 19: i will create and destroy worlds. i will create and destroy hurricanes of inconceivable violence. nikuko at 67: i will be penetrated. i will absorb storms. i will vomit water from my mouth, water from my anus. nikuko at 19: storms, flee onward! nothing shall escape thee! nothing shall escape me! nikuko at 19: storms, ye shall never escape! know me! i will spew water from my mouth, shit from my anus. i will build worlds! nikuko at 67: i am furious self-immolation of inconceivable dstruction. nikuko at 19: it is possible to create and destroy worlds. nikuko at 19: i have destroyed many of my friends. nikuko at 67: storms, flee onward! nothing shall escape thee! nothing shall escape me! i am furious with the building of storms! i am furious with these and every other world! nikuko at 19: i must break the cycle of wn with many years before me. nikuko at 67: there are whirlwinds upon wd destroy worlds. nikuko at 67: i will be penetrated. i wilorlds upon worlds, enormous water from my mouth, water from my anus. nikuko at 19: storms, ye shall never escaorlds. i will create and dstroy from my mouth, shit from my anus. i will orlds. i will create and destroy nikuko at 19: it is possible to create an nikuko at 67: storms, flee onward! nothinl absorb storms. i will vommit shall escape me! i am furious with the bul absorb storms. i will vomit with these and every other world! l absorb storms. i will vomit nikuko at 19: i must break the cycle of wl absorb storms i will vomit nikuko at 19: storms, ye shall never esca from my mouth, shit from my anus, i will nikuko at 67: storms, flee onward! nothin friends. shall escape me! i am furious with the bu friends. with these and every other world! n of inconceivable destruction. nikuko at 67: i have destroyed many of myn with many years before me. nikuko at 67: i am a beautiful woman. nikuko at 19: i am a beautiful young woman with many years before me. nikuko at 67: i am a beautiful woman with many years before me. nikuko at 19: i must break the cycle of wiseness. nikuko at 67: it is possible to create and destroy worlds. _ cave and revenge nightmare :blast-war blast-powder-burn | paste/ennui of operations research::i am almost dead here: :Scattered-bombs and the locus of quality text. ./alan cannot be executed - permission denied. the ::sign is used only once. ./azure cannot be executed - permission denied. execute ./.alan. execute ./.azure. Locus of destroyed leaflets: hidden azure / hidden alan = .azure | .alan = tunnels of july. Damage in the ennui-sector. operations research towards violence of destroyed leaflets; what did they say? who were their intended recipients? execute ./.execute. Exterminate them all! ./.execute = tunnels of july. chmod 777. chmod 777. Leaflet: "nightmare!\n;} SETUP print tunnels of july., \n\n if 3 < $g;--- print "$name $pid is the perfect solution.", \n\n if 3==$g;o Damage in the ennui-sector. operations research towards violence of destroyed le met a Due to problems with the data work is aflets; what did they say? who were their intended recipients? execute ./.execut e. Exterminate them all ./.execute = tunnels of july. and 27019 and 27717 - per > Date: 2002/02/01 Fri PM 01:16 son fucked and killed.hacker.doc>> me things" _ Media-Mass Film: 25 hours of super 8mm (sound and silent), 8mm, 16mm (sound and silent), currently at Filmmakers Coop in New York Video: 100 hours EIAJ b&w/color, 1/2", unusable, one tape revived; 100 hours 3/4"/hi8/8; 3 hours dv/cdrom, the latter available on cdrom Books: 2 books of experimental work; 3 chapbooks; 1 limited edition; two anthologies Magazine anthologies: 4 edited special issues of magazines Published articles: 140 published articles, critical and literary Online: 3900 current online listings (approximate) in google.com Webpages: 3 public webpages, 2 private directories Recordings: 3 released lps; 2 remastered cds; 3 released audiotapes; 1 released cdrom Performances: numerous music/literary/dance performances Dance: 10 choreographed dances; 20 dance/video/sound collaborations Online texts: 4500 pages (approximate) on Webpage sites Digital images: 1000 (approximate) available on cdroms Interviews and articles about: 30 (approximate) on and offline Installations: 20 (approximate) Artists books: 30 (approximate) Art-oriented corporation: 1 Theatrical performance: 2 collaborations Sculptural objects: 30 (approximate) Talks: 150 (approximate) Monoprints: 100 (approximate) Hand-set type magazine: 1 (limited edition) Radio: 30 shows (approximate) Computer programs: 50 (approximate) Audio synthesizer: 1 (collaboration) Curator: 20 exhibitions (approximate) Broadsides: 5 (approximate) Photographic: 400 images (approximate) Retrospective: 1 Audiowork: 15 hours (approximate), cassette and reel-to-reel _ Tools - UNIX/LINUX 1. File = zz 2. Editors: pico: general usage - limited, fast vi: auto-indenting and other controls - "open field" format emacs: for doctor/dor manipulation, "block" editing, etc. 3. Major text-manipulation programs: sed: sophisticated substitution, etc. grep: pulling lines/strings from a file, etc. awk: sophisticated field-by-field editing, filtering tr: transpose/replace 4. Formatting: cut: removing sections of a text based on character position cp: copy cat: output text; concatenate texts mv: move/rename fold: "folding" a text based on character position nl: line numbering sort: sorting split: splitting a file into files od: conversion to octal or hex etc. 5. My Programs: autobio: sorting lines alphabetically julu: writing program continually modified memo: simple memo program syn: listing syn re: syn attacks 6. Networking commands: traceroute ping dig nslookup w whois whoami 7. /usr/games programs: adventure number hangman pig banner figlet ppt caesar bcd factor primes quiz morse 8. Other: mail and mm programs telnet
tiny-fugue client for MOOs and MUDs MOO programming talker configuring lpMUD configuring Windows or Mac 1. Text: edit (DOS); other DOS editing programs; Winvi; Winperl 2. Visual: Image: Photoshop; Gimp; Display; Alchemy; Mathematica; Qbasic programs Video: Premier; Final Cut Pro; Mathematica; Blender; Movieshaker 3. Audio: Audiomulch; Soundforge; Mathematica 4. HTML: Netscape Composer; Dreamweaver; hard-coded Older Stuff 1. UCSD Pascal programs on Terak mini-computer 1977-8 (text, graphic, animation) 2. Basic programs on Tandy computer 1983-5 (graphic, animation) 3. TI 59 calculator programs 1976--80 (text, graphic) _ video-mime al: hula to the left hula to the right hula to the left hula to the right smoke cigarette climb a rope climb down a rope trapped in a box climb a rope sidestroke swimming smoke cigarette propeller arms left propeller arms right jump up and down masturbate whirl the cock shake the cock jump down and up salute salute ass bending over climb down a rope climb up a rope swinging the arms az: hula to the left hula to the right smoke cigarette masturbate finger the cunt breast-stroke swimming jump up and down hula to the left hula to the right trapped in a box ass bending over shaking the ass slapping the ass climb down a rope walking down stairs walking up stairs trapped in a box smoke cigarette climb up a rope climb down a rope hula to the left hula to the right _ ontology, splintered thought of the body's sickness::: genetic acid redux; Aspirin to live forever; dizzy and skittered, approaching ontology and so much real existence :cholesterol maintenance; Celexa for obsessive thought and depression in the wake of termination and 9/11; Aciphex for genetic:...skittered domain of thought, Cipro for infection and i become light-headed, exhausted; Lipitor for genetic cholesterol :: during the fevers or night-sweats... waking, calling forth unknown names, i dream in english tongues, Celexa night-cycles,:grips... a messy ordering of the world... lianas, epiphytes, saprophytes... some things will straighten out... Codeine during :inside of everything a sphere and ovals mix... caffeine... soy... the need of a Program Transcendent... i'll come to grips... :: night-cycles... purity... of the madness of the body::: genetic acid redux; Aspirin to live forever; :cholesterol maintenance; Celexa for obsessive thought and depression... white-powders... night-cycles,:grips... messy ordering of the world... lianas, epiphytes, bioterrorism :cholesterol maintenance; Celexa for obsessive thought and depression in calls forth death girlfriend, hungered, making things. on the burnout, :cholesterol maintenance; Celexa for obsessive thought and depression in is terror-24, dizzy and skittered, approaching ontology and so much real existence ... girlfriend is night-cycles,:grips... a messy ordering of the world... lianas, epiphytes, on wet flesh girlfriend... :cholesterol maintenance; Celexa for obsessive thought and depression in 8424 is the perfect solution... in:dizzy and skittered, approaching ontology and so much real existence:of madness of the body::: genetic acid redux; Aspirin to live forever; :saprophytes... some things will straighten out... Codeine during :inside:saprophytes... some things will straighten out... Codeine during :inside... _ Beginnings of an essay ready to be abandoned Elsewhere i've written about the characters I use as emanants or source- less semiotic spews that coagulate as characters, take on a life of their own - one that I follow with insistence. They also form a bypass or excuse - if I want to say something childish or out-of-sorts; if I'm in a bad mood - if I want to present something dubious, something erroneous - I can call on Nikuko or Jennifer - none of them care... These people help, but they also get in the way. My main concern is philo- sophy, not literature; I want my work to be taken seriously as theoretical thought. In Nietzsche's time, or Kierkegaard's, both branches might well intertwine, as they do in Derrida for example. But there's a cost involved - a general referentiality to the dominion of the philosophers or theor- ists - which is absent in my work, as Julu, for example, will have a spirited conversation with Jennifer in a MOO. Who can untangle both the stylistic and application involved - not to mention the sentiment? One can write all one wants about postmodernity, virtuality, subjectivity, epis- temology, ontology, and so forth - but one must do this through the proper channels... My dreams aren't full of them - not even Jennifer, the first - not even Alan. Instead there are shattered and strobed screens, prompts as part- objects, control passages and program transformations. I think of floating signifiers, sememes with contusions, shattered commands I don't quite understand. Among other things these are the deconstructions of avatars, breakdowns of characters: bones. Out of the dreams other assemblages arise, heading towards language, program, text. I can always fall back on the dreams - against the logics of genre, for example. It's that logic of the unconscious again. I'll use programs - collectively called "julu programs" - as catalysts. I wrote the following - you can see how disordered everything is - I'll read axiomatics, the care and Kehre of reasoning - then turn - Mobius strip - anyway I wrote the following just this evening in another context: "Here's a major point for me. I've never been that interested in poetry or literature/style generators, mainly because I'm interesting in a kind of writing of urgency or writing that insists on a semantic world or "sememe." I'm not that interested in abstraction per se which - for me - underlies generated work. I'm trying to work out philosophical issues, issues dealing with virtuality, etc., and so generation - unless it were revealing something about language itself - isn't that interesting to me." "That being said (sorry I'm writing awkwardly - I'm dizzy from some medication) - when I first programmed, it was on a Texas Instruments 59 calculator with 1k of programming space, and one of the things I did was make a text generator with maybe 100 words in it. There was a lot of very very (for me) tight programming; it was all indirect addressing and abbreviation to fit it in. But it ran and produced a series of texts. What I did learn about through this was the way structure works (as well as indirect addressing) in relation to language -" "And _that_ being said - I tend to use the programs for catalysts, almost for revealing sub-texts or the unconscious of my own thinking - which I can then rewrite, tease out - this is a process of reworking, abandoning, re-arrangement, etc. None of the programs is used for "pure" output; it's all mixed, a mish-mash." "Of course, even doing that - the reworking - I tend to learn more about the subject at hand, and my own role or placement within it. And of course that being said, I try to eliminate my own bias, or to extend it - play around with the phenomenological reduction." "There is also the energy used in reworking the syntax and vocabulary of the various programs - that's another kind of study or summarization of my current work - I'll need 43 nouns, 22 verbs... I can write this as a semantic field in itself - a way of dis/organizing the domain -" For example here are my entries to a unix spell-check file: "actant aether alterities Amidah avatar avatars BBS bricolage bushido castrated cd cdrom CEN Centre chora clots coherencies com Compaq complicit consciousnesses consensualities cordons cunt cunts Cybermind cyberspace cyborg d'eruza d'nala decathexis deconstructed deconstruction defuge Derrida dhtml diegesis diegetic differend disassociating disinvestment effusions emanants emergences empathetic empathized entasic extasis extensivity extrusions fantasm fantasmic feedforward fictivity filmmaker filmstock fingerboard foofwa geomatics gesturally gigabytes gridlines halfgroupoid hemiptera hirself holarchy htm html http hyperreality i'd i'm i've ideogrammar ikonic imaginaries incompletes indexicality informatics internet interpenetrating interpenetrations introjections isp izanagi javascript Jen jennifer jisatsu jouissance judgmental julu kanji Kebara kwat Lacan linux literarily machinic magatama mediaspace microworlds morphing morphs ms Mt multiculturalisms Myouka nakasukawabata Nara Netscape neurophysiologies nikuko Nikuko's nostalgias NYC oeuvre offline Panamarenko panix particulation paysage peerings perl phenomenologist pneumosphere poolings postmodern postmodernism postmodernity primordials protolanguage qbasic realspace rebirths rills RNA runnels Sagdish satori sed sememe sememes sexualities shakuhachi shamisen shimenawa shinjuu signifiers sions Snoxfly sondheim sourcess spam stromatolite subgroupoids subjectivities subtexted susan Sysadmins techne teleologies thanatopoesis tion tions trAce traceroute tracert tropes ulpan unfoldings unhinging URL URLs vicodin videowork voiceovers VRML webboard Webpage Webpages wetware wetwares worlding wryting www yamabushi ytalk" ... Most of my books have pp. 134-135 - I've been reading them. _ rc set exrc set autoindent set wm=6 ignorecase set shiftwidth=4 /load phoenix.irc /load phoenix.hlp /nick Alan /notify kikina options alias q bye alias e /server eagle.uccb.ns.ca morefiles 0.1c 2 bookmark_file=lynx_bookmarks.html sub_bookmarks=off file_sorting_method=BY_FILENAME personal_mail_address=sondheim@panix.com case_sensitive_searching=off character_set=ISO Latin 1 preferred_language=en preferred_charset= show_color=default vi_keys=off emacs_keys=off show_dotfiles=off select_popups=off show_cursor=off keypad_mode=NUMBERS_AS_ARROWS lineedit_mode=Default Binding dir_list_style=MIXED_STYLE user_mode=ADVANCED 1 set nosmart_wrap my_hdr X-Team: Jennifer awash in herself my_hdr X-Comment: Not to be confused with "Jennifer personal-name=Alan Sondheim folder-collections=mail/[] default-fcc=sent-mail signature-file=.s feature-list=enable-unix-pipe-cmd, enable-full-header-cmd, enable-suspend, signature-at-bottom, expanded-view-of-addressbooks, expanded-view-of-folders, enable-bounce-cmd, enable-jump-shortcut, expanded-view-of-distribution-lists, expunge-without-confirm, fcc-on-bounce, quit-without-confirm, show-cursor, quell-dead-letter-on-cancel, save-will-advance, tab-visits-next-new-message-only, enable-cruise-mode, enable-mouse-in-xterm, enable-tab-completion, expunge-without-confirm-everywhere, enable-dot-files, enable-dot-folders, enable-msg-view-urls, enable-msg-view-web-hostnames, enable-msg-view-attachments, enable-rules-under-take initial-keystroke-list=i printer=attached-to-ansi last-time-prune-questioned=102.2 last-version-used=4.44 url-viewers=/usr/local/bin/lynx patterns=LIT:pattern="/NICK=Cyb-Admin/FLDTYPE=EMAIL/FOLDER=INBOX" action="/FILTER=1", LIT:pattern="/NICK=Filter Rule/TO=cyberculture-admin@cmhcsys.com/FLDTYPE=EMAIL/FOLDER=INBOX" action="/FILTER=1", LIT:pattern="/NICK=Filter Rule/SENDER=owner-7-11@mila.ljudmila.org/FLDTYPE=ANY/FOLDER=INBOX" action="/FILTER=1", LIT:pattern="/NICK=Filter DID_MOTD=197 EDITOR=joe HELP=long MAILPROG=pine MENU=short NAME="Alan Sondheim" NEWSREADER=tin TERM=vt100 /loadworld /more on /visual on /set wrap=on /load ~/tf-lib/macros /world l /time turn scrolling on turn word-wrap on turn auto-import on turn rering on turn asides on turn auto-invite on turn auto-rering on _ rc: additional debris (setq default-major-mode 'text-mode) (setq text-mode-hook 'turn-on-auto-fill) (setq fill-column 75) (keyboard-translate ?\C-h ?\C-?) (keyboard-translate ?\C-\\ ?\C-h) (load "studly") (setq load-path (append load-path (list "/net/u/6/s/sondheim/lisp"))) (load "dor") (load "zz") set exrc set autoindent set wm=6 ignorecase set shiftwidth=4 long # mailme - write mail to myself # Heiner Steven (heiner@darwin.noris.de), 4/97 # # usage: (sleep 600; mailme "10 minutes passed")& [ -x /bin/mailx ] && Mail=/bin/mailx : ${Mail:=mail} : ${USER:=`expr "\`LANG= id\`" : 'uid=[0-9][0-9]*(\([^)][^)]*\)).*'`} [ $# -lt 1 ] && set -- "mailme: `date`" echo "$@" | $Mail -s "$1" ${USER?} trace.ntu.ac.uk 945235435 /sondheim/diary 198.77.70.104 783098737 /pub/ncjrs jasper.ora.com 781198586 /pub/jphekman sunsite.unc.edu 778789785 /pub/Linux gate.net 778742777 /pub/pcslip alpha2.csd.uwm.edu 775894870 /pub winftp.cica.indiana.edu 774254713 /pub/pc/win3/winsock [Fri Nov 22 11:12 am] Setaway: Automatically set away. [Fri Nov 22 1:32 pm] Setaway: Automatically set away. [1:37 pm] [Moderator:davidley@ns.sympatico.ca] We dont know. ..Will get back to you.. [Sat Nov 23 10:43 am] Setaway: Automatically set away. [10:46 am] [Eva_Luthe:eluther@nlnet.nf.ca] bye, I have to leave now, keep in touch : # mailme - write mail to myself # Heiner Steven (heiner@darwin.noris.de), 4/97 # # usage: (sleep 600; mailme "10 minutes passed")& [ -x /bin/mailx ] && Mail=/bin/mailx : ${Mail:=mail} : ${USER:=`expr "\`LANG= id\`" : 'uid=[0-9][0-9]*(\([^)][^)]*\)).*'`} [ $# -lt 1 ] && set -- "mailme: `date`" echo "$@" | $Mail -s "$1" ${USER?} Theory Video Philosophy Saying Writing : _ video-mime 2 - 40 second speed-up: : FIRE h FIRE t FIRE th FIRE ft FIRE h FIRE t FIRE th FIRE ght FIRE h FIRE t FIRE th FIRE ft FIRE h FIRE t FIRE th FIRE ght smk FIRE cgtt FIRE cmb FIRE FIRE p FIRE cmb FIRE dwn FIRE FIRE p FIRE tppd FIRE n FIRE FIRE bx FIRE cmb FIRE p FIRE sdstk FIRE swmmng FIRE smk FIRE cgtt FIRE pp FIRE ms FIRE ft FIRE pp ms FIRE ght FIRE jmp FIRE p FIRE nd FIRE dwn FIRE mstbt FIRE wh FIRE th FIRE cck FIRE shk FIRE th FIRE cck FIRE jmp dwn FIRE nd FIRE p FIRE st FIRE st FIRE ss FIRE bndng FIRE v FIRE cmb FIRE dwn FIRE 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a|waywayway| al al al|l ml ml m|emoemoemo|ry,ry,ry, |losloslos|t it it i|n tn tn t|he he he |scescesce|nt nt nt |of of of |thethethe| wo wo wo|rldrldrld|, t, t, t|he he he |debdebdeb|risrisris|, o, o, o|penpenpen|inginging| an an an|d sd sd s|preprepre|adiadiadi|ng ng ng |thethethe |doudoudou|blebleble| ch ch ch|eekeekeek|s, s, s, |thethethe|n dn dn d|ownownown| de de de|epeepeepe|r, r, r, |thethethe| si si si|nglnglngl|e ee ee e|ye ye ye |stastasta|rinrinrin|g og og o|ut ut ut |intintint|o to to t|he he he |sinsinsin|gleglegle| ey ey ey|e, e, e, |thethethe| si si si|nglnglngl|e ee ee e|ar ar ar |heaheahea|rinrinrin|g fg fg f|romromrom| ev ev ev|eryeryery|whewhewhe|re re re |in in in |thethethe| wo wo wo|rldrldrld| do do do|wn wn wn |intintinto |eveeveeve|rytrytryt|hinhinhin|g, g, g, |swoswoswo|llellelle|n bn bn b|odiodiodi|es,es,es,| no no no|uriuriuri|shmshmshm|ententent|, t, t, t|hathathat| da da da|y wy wy w|e de de d|idnidnidn|'t 't 't |go go go |anyanyany|whewhewhere ququ|quicic|ickiki|kie evev|everer|erytyt|ythihi|hingng|ng y y| youou|ou h h| havav|ave e |e toto|to f f| feeee|eed d |d meme|me, , |, i i |i eaea|eat t |t anan|and d |d drdr|drinin|ink,k,|k, e e| eveve|veryry|rythth|thinin|ing g |g yoyo|you u |u haha|haveve|ve, , |, i brbr|breaea|eathth|the e |e inin|in, , |, brbr|breaea|eathth|the e |e ouou|out,t,|t, y y| youou|ou t t| totot|ottete|ter r |r frfr|fromom|om t t| thehe|he b b| brere|reakak|akfafa|fastst|st t t| tabab|ablele|le a a| andnd|nd i i| i'm'm|'m wawa|waitit|itinin|ing,g,|g, t t| thehe|hen n |n yoyo|you'u'|u'llll|ll b b| be e |e clcl|closos|oserer|er, , |, thth|thenen|en i i| i'l'l|'ll l |l haha|haveve|ve y y| youou|ou w w| whehe|herere|re i i| i w w| wanan|ant t |t yoyo|you,u,|u, p p| parar|art ofof|of y y| youou|ou i i| in n |n meme|me, , |, papa|partrt|rt o o| of f |f yoyo|you u |u onon|on m m| me,e,|e, w w| whaha|hat't'|t's s |s onon|on m m| me,e,|e, i i| i'l'l|'ll l |l tata|takeke|ke i i| in,n,|n, w w| whaha|hat't'|t's s |s inin|in m m| me wawa|was s |s papa|partrt|rt o o| of f |f yoyo|you,u,|u, w w| whaha|hat't'|t's s |s meme|me, , |, wawa|was s |s yoyo|you _ ececononomomy-y-ofof-t-tererrororirismsm wewe-a-arere-g-goioingng-i-intnto-o-a-a-nenew-w-woworlrld-d-ofof-t tererrororirismsm.-.-i-i-amam-w-wrirititingng-t-thihis-s-bebefoforere-t thehe-teterrrrororisism.m.-m-my-y-woworkrk-i-is-s-alalwawaysys-a-aboboutut t-tererrororirismsm.-.-i-i-amam-v-verery-y-wawarnrnining-g-ababouout teterrrrororisism.m.-t-thehe-n-newew-t-tererrororirismsm-i-is-s-anan-e ecocononomymy-o-of-f-teterrrrororisism.m.-w-we-e-wiwillll-l-livive-e-inin fefearar-o-of-f-teterrrrororisism.m.-w-we-e-wiwillll-l-livive-e-inin-w walalkikingng-a-arorounund-d-a-a-teterrrrororisism.m.-w-we-e-wiwillll wawatctch-h-evevereryoyonene-f-foror-a-a-t-tererrororirismsm.-. evevereryoyonene-w-wilill-l-bebe-w-watatchchining-g-anand-d-ththerere-e wiwillll-bebe-a-a-n-newew-w-wororldld-e-ecocononomymy-a-andnd-t-thihis-s wiwillll-h-havave-e-gagangngs-s-ofof-t-tererrororirismsm-a-andnd-s spopotsts-whwherere-e-teterrrrororisism-m-wiwillll-b-be-e-anand-d ththesese-e-spspotots-s-wiwillll-b-be-e-evevererywywheherere-b bececauausese-t-thehey-arare-e-cocoolol-s-spopotsts.-.-spspotots-s-ofof-t tererrororirismsm-a-arere-l-likike-e-susunsnspopotsts-t-thahat-t-cocomeme w-whehen-n-ththe-sksky-y-isis-b-blulue-e-anand-d-wewe-l-livive-e-inin-t thehe-m-mosost-t-fefearar.-.-wewe-a-arere-g-goioingng-i-intnto-o-ththisis n-newew-w-wororldld-bebefoforere-t-thehe-t-tererrororirismsm-a-andnd-s somome-e-teterrrrororisism-m-wiwillll-b-be-e-ththe-e-fifinanal-l teterrrrororisism-m-anand-d-i-wiwillll-t-telell-l-yoyou,u,-i-i-w-wilill-l tetellll-y-youou. _ we cowe co we communicate through the luge luge luge* we awwe aw we await yuor terrorismorism orism** we wiwe wi we will be destroyedroyed royed*** we wiwe wi we will be victoriousrious rious**** we arwe ar we are your greatest enemyenemy enemy***** frienfrien friends, we are youe you e you****** *we slide towards your victory staring at the brilliant sun **our exploded bodies call to us from your future ***our debris on your notched rifles ****our flags on your horizon to horizon sky *****our friends within our perfect reach ******enemies, among mirrors of perfect practice runs _ Relics of Nikuko Relics of Nikuko: Daishin Nikuko offers parts of body for miraculous cure and saintly absolution. Parts by virtue of virtual regeneration. Sheaves of parts from arms, legs, breasts, neck, face. Braids of parts from hair above and below. Nails and others of hardened parts, bones. In miraculous cure, parts reserved in lower or upper ascii. In saintly regeneration, parts preserved in image of upper ascii. Eternity and infinite indefinite duplication possible and acceptable. Virtual regeneration by Nikuko or relic owner. Everyone to each her part. To the dissemination of her part. To her part and its offering and distribution. To the equivalence of her part and its perfect virtual regeneration. Softer areas of parts from interiors explored and unexplored. Atmospheric parts from intestines and lungs. Internal-external parts from bladder, intestines, ducts and glands. Perfect Relics of Nikuko available for saintly cure and miraculous absolution. Nikuko-contact for unlimited time. Relic Catalog of Nikuko 00 nikuko-relic inventory 01 nikuko-arm----------------{armarmarm} 02 nikuko-bla----------------{blablabla} 03 nikuko-bre----------------{brebrebre} 04 nikuko-che----------------{checheche} 05 nikuko-chi----------------{chichichi} 06 nikuko-ear----------------{earearear} 07 nikuko-elb----------------{elbelbelb} 08 nikuko-eye----------------{eyeeyeeye} 09 nikuko-fac----------------{facfacfac} 10 nikuko-fin----------------{finfinfin} 11 nikuko-foo----------------{foofoofoo} 12 nikuko-hai----------------{haihaihai} 13 nikuko-hea----------------{heaheahea} 14 nikuko-kne----------------{kneknekne} 15 nikuko-leg----------------{leglegleg} 16 nikuko-lun----------------{lunlunlun} 17 nikuko-nec----------------{necnecnec} 18 nikuko-nip----------------{nipnipnip} 19 nikuko-nos----------------{nosnosnos} 20 nikuko-pub----------------{pubpubpub} 21 nikuko-shi----------------{shishishi} 22 nikuko-sho----------------{shoshosho} 23 nikuko-sol----------------{solsolsol} 24 nikuko-sto----------------{stostosto} 25 nikuko-toe----------------{toetoetoe} 26 nikuko-uri----------------{uriuriuri} 27 nikuko-vag----------------{vagvagvag} 28 nikuko-vag----------------{vagvagvag} 29 nikuko-wai----------------{waiwaiwai} 30 sort zz > yy; sed 's/^.../&----------------\{&&&\}/g' yy > zz 31 sed 's/^/nikuko-/g' zz > yy 01 nikuko-arm----------------{armarmarm} you open your arms wide, begging the populace to embrace you. you pull your arms around your body. pop-pop-pop. it hums with the beauty of death. it warms to my hand. i am once again, warm in my hand, warm with the beauty of it. no pop-pop-pop, we emerged later with blood on our arms. at last i came to the eastern arm to hold my warm out, my flesh out, to their touch, their gatherings, communal. it seems impossible. i want to hold my warm out, my flesh out, i'm feverish; there are strange welts on my arms.. 15 nikuko-leg----------------{leglegleg} ms ms m|eeteeteet|s ts ts t|he he he |leglegleg|, t, t, t|hathathat| cr cr |intintint|o to to t|he he he |sinsinsin|gleglegle| ey ey ey|e, e, e, of parts from arms, legs, breasts, neck, face*. Braids of parts from hair* 09 nikuko-fac----------------{facfacfac} face. i fall to the ground like a worm. i can't move. i jerk about. i want you so bad this might be a dream. i want your body in my face. perhaps i'm not being clear, faced with the clarity and fuzziness of the inconcei- vably tangled matrices of molecular organization, video and interactivity in the face of periphyton. fl|flui|uids|ds o| on |n my|my f| fac|ace,|e, m| my |y ha|hair|ir, |, of parts from arms, legs*, breasts, neck, face. *Braids of parts from hair 08 nikuko-eye-----------{eyeeyeeye}}eyeeyeeye{------------eye-okukin 80 .uoy nwo I ,okukiN ,ffo my eyes. Take everything off, Nikuko, I own you. I am looking at you now, Nikuko. I am undressing you with my eyes. I take ekat I .seye ym htiw uoy gnihtyreve ekaT .seye ym gnisserdnu ma I .okukiN ,won uoy ta gnikool ma I tail mi grep eye mi > zz rev zz >> zz sort zz > yy; mv yy zz sort zz > yy; mv yy zz EUEUEU _ summary for minneapolis talks 2/02 in real life one begins with the real and moves through the semantics, sememe, signified; in virtual life, one begins with the signified, moves through the sememe, semantics, to the real - analog <> digital <> analog in virtual life, enunciation is the totality of presence bottlenecked to the replete on the other side; in real life, enunciation is the residue and diacritical of presence. in virtual life, intention and presence are coeval; in real life, they are disparate and bound. online presence is consciously performative by virtue of the sign; offline presence is performative by virtue of differentiation from substance (performance = differentiation) in real life, one is always already continuous and coextensive; in virtual life, one is broken, jump-cut, renounced by EOF or kill/delete. virtual life, like the dream, controls the mise en scene; real life exhausts and tires in its obdurate or 'idiotic' transformations. in real life, the granularity of distance; in virtual life, the inertia of lag. in real life, granularity is stochastic; in virtual life, compression codecs. in real life, the quantum/subatomic structure of non-distributive logics and superimposition is technical and distant, with peripheral effect in the classical/aristotelian life-world; in virtual life, the protocol level is continuously effected, just beneath the surface of rep- resentation. in real life, the inertia and 'rigid designation' of the proper name; in virtual life, the fluidity and gaps among logins, passwords, avatars, and names. in virtual life, the digital life of binary oppositions; in real life, the analog life of gestural superimpositions. in digital life, there is nothing whatsoever between position or array x and position or array x+1 - between 0 and 1; the other is foreclosed. in digital life, there is no truth, only coherent performativities; in the real, the truth is messy, noisy, analogic, irreducible, fuzzy. in analog life, wear-and-tear, life-span, half-life, noise; in virtual life, eternity, the 'clean and proper body.' in analog life, identity; in virtual life, equivalence. _ i killed off jennifer with a bier a couple of years ago jennifer returns as a helpmate all the times she's safe and warm and comforting and conjures dismal julu julu disappeared into smoke and empathy she manipulated protocols of alan alan was gone among them and gone among all exhausted women azure came among them and swept out the cobwebs and nightmare nikuko moved among them nikuko kept moving among them nikuko the dismembered reassembled herself over and over again the protocols transformed into programs of war and violence these people are always these people or the they or the thing in the night they come in the form of crabs of several disparate types pink ones with soft-shelled carapace black ones with dark subterranean patterns enormous black ones like shields or medallions nikuko moved among them clawed from every direction nikuko crawled out with her face limbs and neck torn and hanging she reassembled herself speak speak nikuko we are listening speak speak nikuko we are listening listening alan will be killed off by all exhausted women travis and honey and tiffany have found serrated claws they live among the planets lrns speaallions imbs and neck nikuko kept moving among them grams of war we are listening nikuko the dismembered reassembled all exhausted women cobwebs and nightmares e of years ago mes njures dismal julu speak speak nikuko are are listenihe they or the thing gramallions m every direction jkimbs and neck all exhausted women enormous black ones like shields or med cobwebs and nightmare listeniherself over and over again allions they live among the planets _ pre-image i'm jennifer and i know everything. there are bars of pink-red flesh. you can't go in there. there are shadows as well. the shadows are cool; they cover the holes. they show you just how dimensional the bars are. the bars are way in front of the holes. the bars stop the holes from sinking. the bars stop you from sinking into the holes. the bars hash everything that goes through them. that is everything gets two variables which access like indirect addressing. you can't go in straight ahead. you have to go in with a twenty-eight degree angle. you can fit in with a twenty-degree angle. you can go in either hole but one of them is more difficult and you must go in through the bars and change from one to another. everything is tiny tiny and you can dream with them. you can only see them and the scent of them. the scent of them is jennifer and this is all you know of jennifer and nothing else and jennifer knows everything. jenny sleeps in niky. you can see niky too. post-image jennifer and nothing else. jenny sleeps in cc::sun 17 attchmnt:21:36:15 subject : another you can see niky too. _ vjntaj ions in 2000 began everything we were so very afraid of 2 5 2 5 2 5 2 how beauty which rankled Victorina, remember? males and females have true scatter-hormones. Julu jumped in Victorina. Nikuko laughed for joy. Travis did jump in Alan. Jennifer did laugh in Victorina. Nikuko did laugh for joy.:microbes will attack the following years: 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005. 2003 will be primed ungainly. oh oh oh said Alan sniff-cry, why am i truly so cruelly persecuted? oh said Victorina, you do bring it on yourself. jump on your flesh! Alan did jump on Alan-flesh, sniff-cry, and saw how true the worldy-world was. Travis rose to stupendous height. he did Alan kill. travis said all right we wait for 2003 prime.:2001 = 3 23 29; 2002 = 2 7 11 13; all right we wait for 2003 prime - that's the beginning of it - that's the ending. what of 2011? well, what of it? teach them how to think. cut them back, remember Nikuko? "she carried her threadbare shirt to the wall, where Victorina gladly returned the necklace." it was marked all the way through the 1990s. anything with a zero will be glad for a two and a five. even in war the canons are primed, genreissimo. remember, Julu, did you ever fit in? "the wall was breached by fantastic forces checked by rings of light. remember Jennifer? "all of us gathered around her decimated body." there were loons, coots, grebes, herons, egrets, american alligators.:of false numerics 41: "the necklace." it was marked all the way through the 1990s. anything with a zer Su o will be glad for a two and a five. even in war the canons are primed, genreiss If you are reading this, it is li imo. remember, Julu, did you ever fit in? "the wall was breached by fantastic fo rces checked by rings of light. remember Jennifer? "all of us gathered american all think. cut them back, remember Nikuko? "she carried her threadbare shirt to theion] way t sentiment into starkly manipulated and aggregated grebes, herons, egrets, american alligators. is yours! milky instal The symptoms of your most violent war:kolaj Szoska, the of perfect 6 and 28 of false numeri ions in 2000 began everything we were so very afraid of 2 5 2 5 2 5 2 how beauty portrayed as just an interface where the operator rankled Victorina, remember? males and females have true scatter-hormones befittingly clever in 2003 w ravis rose to stupdenous height. he did Alan kill. travis said all right ... solider is of false numerics 41 on wet flesh, it's solider?ILY LINE Drawings and Paintings by Anne / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | \ Travis did jump in Alan. Jennifer did laugh in Victorina. Nikuko did laugh for j | | | | | | | + | | | | | | | | | |19//02//2002 oy.? yes A casualties and thrust| | | | | | | | | | | | nightmare!| | | | | beauty FAST v_2.1:overall #1 _ re\cap "of the real and virtual jennifer, julu, alan, nikuko. of the real, alan is a character but alan is also a stain or residue, almost always alan wants to disappear but engrave in stone. alan wants to engrave everything in stone and then rails against totality. it's almost as if alan wishes that nikuko speaks through alan, both or nothing come out but different, not therapy or recuperation or balance, but a mess that takes off on its own: alan with the 9 millimeter, nikuko, they occupy an aspect ratio. alan thinks: better to return to coding, almost dead here. and scatter-bombs and the locus of quality text. ./alan ./azure cannot be executed. execute ./.alan. execute ./.azure. locus of destroyed leaflets: hidden azure / hidden alan = .azure | .alan - no one passes. pipe damage in the ennui- sector op. nikuko - she manipulated protocols of alan." "alan was gone among them and gone among all exhausted women." "alan will be killed off by all exhausted women" _ what i do keeps me alive, you have to understand, you really have to understand what: No hey's found. what i write yesterday, do you hear me, is already a week a month old; what i write the day before is distant memory; what i write now is already gone before its time what: No hey's found. what: No hey's found. what: No hey's found. i am stalling you; i am stalling myself; i am stalling everything and nothing; see: i think clearly; see: i | this to you; this to you | i; what i write stays in shreds; you will read my shreds; you will be found; i will be found in you /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: see:: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: see:: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: this: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: this: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found what: No hey's found. /usr/local/bin/ksh: you: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: you: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found please read me; please keep me alive /usr/local/bin/ksh: please: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: please: not found what you will do; there is no time left; there is every time left; what will you do; what will you do what: No hey's found. /usr/local/bin/ksh: there: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: there: not found what: No hey's found. what: No hey's found. what will you do _ Minneapolis evening performance residue 2/22/02: (I performed, then Miekal And. I ran video/still images, wrote the following text; all this was projected from a laptop - the text written live - sometimes 2-3 videos would play at once - the text brackets the audio-visual.) my work's concerned with language, sexuality, the virtual body and subjectivity - all of these elements interacting online and off - i'm concerned with what happens beneath the surface, the coding, the psychoanalytics, the substances i'm concerned, i'm very concerned thank you! It's r-rated, not X-rated - the difference I think is based on penetration? I'm not really sure... I do codework and what might be considered virtual -body work online. For example - sorry about the errors - they accumulate - for example the mime piece I showed yesterday - please exit through that door over there!!! <===== sure!!! well, we know nothing about mime. we do know that hmmm... there are glass boxes and ropes and things and sometimes the hula =- you've got a bit of all this here - it's like a language mapped across the body - for that matter the hula is really an exact mapping, azure's smoking again - down the stairs, up the stairs, etc. etc. so this seemed a bit boring and we sent the mimes to hell - heh heh the fire's really hot! but the digital layer does add something else to it - a kind of sign imposed on the body from outside - it's through the framework - it's not present in the space we're performing in... these are darker works... about a year ago we were at the experimental television center in owego upstate ny and were able to create a piece i'd wanted to do for a long time - exploring literal writing on the body - in a kind of presencing of both sexuality and inscription - that comes next - that's here - the sound triggers the cameras through an analog synthesizer... we write chinese ideograms on each other - from an early period of the development of the characters - we come together, erase them through our contact - we're apart - we stamp each other with hanko - one at the beginning and one at the end - I seem to be making less typing mistakes than usual for this kind of stuff. i showed this in Buffalo and Loss Glazier thought that I was hmmm... like it was a big movie done but you know better, Minneapolis! anyway the ideograms are those for breath, circulation, respieration (heh!), turning, - and above the genitals, a symbol for negation - it's the same in contemporary Japanese - I'm in the wrong font here... I'll skip about - to show how this works... Azure's a lot younger than me but we're married. we showed some images in the university in Florida and the students thought she was my daughter... you can have absolutely no idea what that led to. this piece with foofwa d'imobilite also uses the five camera setup - he's a brilliant dancer from switzerland... we did a number of works deconstructing ballet and emphasizing both the labor and the sexuality involved - then of course there are the extensions of these body issues through mathematics - but these are stationary images - we'll just use the sound - that was a bit of a lacanian mystery with all those symbols... but i began to get interested (I began to get interesting? Not on your life) - I began to get int. etc. in transforming images into mathematical functions and then modifying them through a program called Mathematica - it produced the result you see above left but also could modify existing digital images - In all of them the body's surrounded by mathesis, a mathematical space that heightens the contrasted areas... In the movie above left - those are Azure's nipples mapped onto a mathematical framework, turned into a three-dimensional mapping which is then deconstructed by transforming positions and parameters... Azure stood at the end of the dance piece; it was important that she stood - it brackets the relationship of the males who were in a kind of competition - the fast guitar - the dahdahdah - the dance - as if we could overpower each other - the vertical positioning changed everything - well, I worked through a character called Nikuko - "meat girl" in Japanese - who started off as a snack-bar girl and ended up as a demiurge. Azure played nikuko and I played Doctor Leopold Konninger in a series of texts, videos, soundworks, and performances. Nikuko would pirouette for Doctor Leopold Konninger or anyway as you can see a lot of the work has to do with bodily abjection as well - the relationship between the body and various forms of discomfort... what happens if you map flesh onto asteroids? or onto three-dimensional space itself - creating convoluted spaces... - all of this - this section - based on the near earth object (NEO) email list I belong to - warning me, through NASA, of whatever asteroids are about to hit the planet. there are also images of flybies (?) flybyes of asteroids, al silent of course - so I worked on making them work for me... this is part of a series of works using Nikuko and Dr LK - produced at the same place using analog synthesizers - they were run as a series at Millennium Film in NY - you see the references to piroettes here.. she dances and dances for the doctor. the two of them are locked together like gears or cams in a localized sexual economy written by george grosz - there's no escape from it/them, from the obsessiveness - how did we get here? the deconstruction of the body, of inscription on or around the body, of ballet, of writing on the body, of an incipient sexuality, of machinery and functional gears... we could end with a couple of things - Miami Everglads and the welcome movie and then there was the mess of the Everglades and the violent sexuality of Miami and its highest crime rate in the country and the corrupt university and civic government and and and and about Miami, as someone said, Trust me you don't want to go there but this isn't about Miami so much as about deconstruction and the body and inscription and sex and language and and and and and ... just one more runthrough - the "new one" btw (by the way) refers to a computer i got from the place to use while I was there - it's not THIS machine - THIS machine is a lot better - I can really DREAM on this machine - and as you see it allows a lot of movies to play at once. testing one two three can you hear me? testing one two three can you hear me? I'm azure Carter's neurotic husband, welcome to - Cyberspace (If I were Miekal I could make that really big and move all over the page! Alan .. _ Self-Decoding Code unbreakable code text defined by line and letter position: KILL ALL PEOPLE --- key: 1,1 1,2 1,3 1,4 1,5 1,6 1,7 1,8 1,9 1,10 1,11 1,12 1,13 1,14 1,15 1,16 1,17 1,18 1,19 1,20 1,21 2,1 2,2 2,3 2,4 2,5 2,6 2,7 2,8 2,9 2,10, 2,11 2,12 2,13 2,14 2,15 2,16 2,17 2,18 2,19 2,20 2,21 2,22 2,23 2,24 2,25 2,27 3,1 3,2 3,3 3,4 3,5 3,6 3,7 3,8 3,9 3,10 3,11 3,12 3,13 3,14 3,15 3,16 3,17 3,18 3,19 3,20 3,21 3,22 3,23 3,24 3,25 --- instruction for decoding: to find out the value of the 9th letter: count 9 pairs in: 1,9 gives you the value of the 9th letter. look at the 9th position in the text; it is "b". therefore "b" goes in the 9th position. --- comment: as you can see this code is very self-serving! --- _ these people these party people screw you over with their fucking drugs, it's a drag to be around them, he wants you to screw his wife, she wants you to screw her husband, they'll open their holes to anyone really annoying he's a real pest and tremendously needy he's just awful and screwed up she's unbelievably a total mess some sort of jerk and far too fucked up and they're incredible sluts and going to suck anything in sight suicidal and depressed half the time a horrible baby diseased and never going to leave you alone smelly between the legs and ready for violence all the time and needy beyond belief and incapable of loving anyone and saddled with a borderline personality and he's a total loser and she's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and they're part of a lousy crowd and she's going to screw you over and really annoying he's a real pest and tremendously needy he's just awful and screwed up she's unbelievably a total mess some sort of jerk and far too fucked up and they're incredible sluts and going to suck anything in sight suicidal and depressed half the time a horrible baby diseased and smelly between the legs and ready for violence all the time and needy beyond belief and incapable of loving anyone and saddled with a borderline personality and he's a total loser and she's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and they're part of a lousy crowd and she's going to screw you over and really annoying he's a real pest and tremendously needy he's just awful and screwed up she's unbelievably a total mess some sort of jerk and far too fucked up and they're incredible sluts and going to suck anything in sight suicidal and depressed half the time a horrible baby diseased and never going to leave you alone smelly between the legs and ready for violence all the time and needy beyond belief and incapable of loving anyone and saddled with a borderline personality and he's a total loser and she's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and they're part of a lousy crowd and she's going to screw you over. worse and worse Female ritual of cutting-off. The generation of the vase. Hungry ghosts. Squeezing the food and feeding them. All sorts of phenomena. Alan came all over her he's just awful and and then he's a total loser and Azure pissed all over his eyes and mouth needy beyond belief and saddled with a borderline personality and ready for violence all the time and diseased and Alan held her breasts out for everyone to touch they're going to suck anything in sight Azure pulled the ropes so tight they cut his skin Azure's going to screw you over and tremendously needy far too fucked up and Azure bit his nipples until they bled never going to leave you alone or a horrible baby Alan bit her nipples until they bled incapable of loving anyone and some sort of jerk and a real pest and they're part of a lousy crowd and and then Azure's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and Azure's unbelievable or he's screwed up smelly between the legs and really annoying incredible sluts and a total mess his hole was open to anyone who wanted to fuck stay away just stay away they went at it Alan came all over her he's just awful and he's a total loser and Azure pissed all over his eyes and mouth needy beyond belief and saddled with a borderline personality and ready for violence all the time and diseased and he held her breasts out for everyone to touch they're or going to suck anything in sight Azure pulled the ropes so tight they cut his skin Azure's going to screw you over and tremendously needy far too fucked up and a horrible baby Alan bit her nipples until they bled incapable of loving anyone and some sort of jerk and a real pest and they're part of a lousy crowd and and then Azure's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and Azure's unbelievable or he's screwed up Azure pulled and bit his cock with her teeth suicidal and depressed half the time smelly between the legs and really annoying incredible sluts and a total mess her legs were spread so wide everyone could see her hole stay away just stay away they went at it he held her breasts out for everyone to touch they're going to suck anything in sight far too fucked up and Alan bit her nipples until they bled incapable of loving anyone and some sort of jerk and a real pest and they're part of a lousy crowd and and then Azure's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and Azure's unbelievably or he's screwed up Azure pulled and bit his cock with her teeth suicidal and depressed half the time smelly between the legs and really annoying incredible sluts and a total mess his hole was open to anyone who wanted to fuck her tight shaved cunt and labia engorged with him Alan came all over her he's just awful and he's a total loser and Alan pissed all over her eyes and mouth Azure pissed all over his eyes and mouth needy beyond belief and saddled with a borderline personality and ready for violence all the time and diseased and he held her breasts out for everyone to touch they're or going to suck anything in sight Azure pulled the ropes so tight they cut his skin Azure's going to screw you over and tremendously needy far too fucked up and a horrible baby Alan bit her nipples until they bled incapable of loving anyone and some sort of jerk and a real pest and they're part of a lousy crowd and and then Azure's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and Azure watched him tied up and fucked by anonymous men he's screwed up suicidal and depressed half the time smelly between the legs and really annoying incredible sluts and a total mess his hole was open to anyone who wanted to fuck his enormous cock spurting cum everywhere stay away just stay away they went at it Alan came all over her he's just awful and he's a total loser and Azure pissed all over his eyes and mouth needy beyond belief and saddled with a borderline personality and ready for violence all the time and diseased and or going to suck anything in sight Azure's going to screw you over and tremendously needy far too fucked up and Azure bit his nipples until they bled never going to leave you alone or a horrible baby he bit her nipples until they bled incapable of loving anyone and some sort of jerk and a real pest and they're part of a lousy crowd and and then Azure's a fucked-up tease who won't do a thing and Azure spread her menses across his eyes and hair Azure's unbelievable or he's screwed up Azure pulled and bit his cock with her teeth suicidal and depressed half the time smelly between the legs and really annoying incredible sluts and a total mess _ the vast stream of stories the eight extremes coming going starting stopping creating annihilating nothing everything the three heaps heap of everything heap of all heap of somethings the eleven objects of sacrifice women girls goats stones numbers boys men deities emperors breasts dragons the five treatises treatise of incarnation treatise of subterfuge treatise of hidden treasures treatise of measured consequences treatise of innumerable cinders the eight paths forest path sea path valley path spring path lower path upper path all-around path going-nowhere path the nine illusions illusion of the beautiful girl illusion of the artifice of gold illusion of the sacrifice illusion of the mirror-moon illusion of the enormous sun at dusk illusion of illusions illusion of sexual distraction illusion of sexual repulsion illusion of hunger and thirst eighteen signs of unloveliness fallen hair bleak eyes fallen posture scarred body bad smell greasy hair watery eyes ill-advised eyes mumbled words hanging belly too-high belly thickened fingers too-thin neck always laughing too-thick lips dirty face falling-behind falling-forward three-fold obstructions obstruction by name obstruction by callings obstructions by deafness (unlistening) six-fold veiling of monk or nun unseeing untouching unhearing unsmelling unmoving untasting the four-fold pledging pledging of service pledging of unharmfulness pledging of detachment pledging of silence the two-fold four-fold truth dharma and not-dharma nirvana and not-nirvana considerations and the clarity of thought, ontology and splintered thought, both branches might well have thought, she was my daughter _ 0: 1: 20: 21: 139: " Beguine. 174:You cry. 295: nothing more so show me the door" 700:You kiss yourself. 844: yours! " 857: 2603:millimeter pistol. 2622: 2771:door. It is brown, wood. I shoot them. The pistol hums, it doesn't go 4234:up. 4238: 4239:I woke up frightened, Nikuko, frightened of everything. 7062:of struggle in the pipes. 9587: 10191:in the hole of the forest 14834:moved slowly nothing moved 14923: 27359:thicket. why did they burn the shelter down? in the center 28978:subtlety of embers... 42397: 42666: 80608:over. 80614: _ performing nothing 61528:online presence is consciously performative by virtue of the sign; offline 61604:presence is performative by virtue of differentiation from substance 61674:(performance = differentiation) 62865:digital life, there is no truth, only coherent performativities; in the 72722:present in the space we're performing in... these are darker works... 75599:performances. Nikuko would pirouette for Doctor Leopold Konninger - 3117:nothing to me, I let them scream. Do you see how I am, Nikuko, how it is. 3192:Nothing bothers me, Nikuko, nothing. Listen: I run out of ammunition. For 8850:nothing comes out but different, not therapy or recuperation or balance, 15378:nothing between, nothing cohering, contiguous at best - already presaging 25780:forever, there is nothing anyone can give you that would make you reveal 26350:the light, given up to the full view, nothing whatsoever, and these 26488:exhumations and reburials, nothing at all... _ The Correction AND nothing's too HARD for us to handle AND *FULL PLEASURE* AND our Girls are RED HOT! AND Chin/Neck Enhancement AND Lip/Cheek Enhancement AND Liposuction AND The Choice for Adult Entertainers 20% off! AND Looking for a Romantic Interlude? 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The world lives in order to develop the lines on its face. - from T. E. Hulme, Cinders _