fuck this shit insert my cock in your shit and fuck it you fuck my shit go to hell you go to hell where you are you go to hell where i am kiss ass turn your head and kiss your ass fuck you i want to fuck you you want to fuck yourself goddamn creep god hates creeps god curses creeps shithead your head is covered with shit your head is up your asshole so it is covered in shit motherfucker you want to fuck your mother you want to fuck everyone else's mother you want to have little babies goddamn jews god hates jews god hates me four-eyes i am half an octopus i have the vision of two men cunt you are a dirty woman-man you're a dirty man-woman prick you are a dirty man-man idiot you have a politically incorrect iq you are a moron i am a moron moron you are an idiot you are really an idiot stupid you don't have the iq to understand this insult why would i insult you in a vacuum nature abhors you and a vacuum fuck this shit _ the only place you need to know (how to get to) 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 7825 O 3 00:14 ( -66-108-49-21): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): O 2 21:27 ( -24-147-185-243. 1. . . ): 7 O 2 22:08 (24.61.135.184) Y O 2 21:13 (67.175.77.113) 6 S 28 23:14 ( . . ) Y 6 S 28 23:14 ( . . ) 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 7825 O 3 00:14 ( -66-108-49-21): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): O 1 11:02 (24.61.135.184): O 2 21:13 (67.175.77.113) Y O 2 23:32 (208.186.48.226) - - - O 2 22:06 (141.149.177.9) Y O 2 22:06 (141.149.177.9) 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 7825 O 3 00:14 ( -66-108-49-21): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): O 2 17:48 (216.179.103.137): M O 3 00:00 (72.1.149.51) D S 30 20:05 ( 01525006 . 01. . . ) B F 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142)! 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 7825 O 3 00:14 ( -66-108-49-21): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): O 1 23:13 (66.30.115.245): S 30 13:56 (66.28.217.230) Y S 16 22:14 (67.161.43.246) S 29 18:57 ( -69-107-27-84. . 13. . ) Y S 29 18:57 ( -69-107-27-84. . 13. . ) 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 7825 O 3 00:14 ( -66-108-49-21): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): O O 2 22:49 ( -68-160-105-135. . . . ): 6 S 28 23:14 ( . . ) Y N S 29 22:04 (69.205.206.229) - O 1 11:02 (24.61.135.184) Y O 1 11:02 (24.61.135.184) 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 4676 O 3 00:25 ( -0 64 . . . ): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): S 30 13:56 (66.28.217.230): N S 29 22:04 (69.205.206.229) C , 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142), ! 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 4676 O 3 00:25 ( -0 64 . . . ): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): S 11 16:41 (166.84.253.217): O 1 02:15 (63.197.31.112) Y O 3 00:24 (66.31.42.15) - J 8 04:00 (166.84.1.253) Y J 8 04:00 (166.84.1.253) 4676 O 3 00:25 ( -0 64 . ): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): 20873 O 3 00:26 ( -0 64 . . . ): A S 29 22:04 (69.205.206.229): T O 2 22:18 (70.124.18.154) Y 9 O 3 00:15 ( -70-23-153-145. 325. . . ) - S O 2 19:14 (203.49.66.43) Y S O 2 19:14 (203.49.66.43) 4676 O 3 00:25 ( -0 64 . ): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): 20873 O 3 00:26 ( -0 64 . . . ): B S 16 15:10 (166.84.169.17): S 30 12:09 (135.205.212.120) C , 4676 O 3 00:25 ( -0 64 . ), ! 4676 O 3 00:25 ( -0 64 . ): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): 20873 O 3 00:26 ( -0 64 . . . ): 9 O 3 00:15 ( -70-23-153-145. 325. . . ): O 2 21:27 ( -24-147-185-243. 1. . . ) Y 7 S 24 12:43 (66.30.52.99) O 2 21:13 (67.175.77.113) Y O 2 21:13 (67.175.77.113) 1 S 14 19:42 (68.167.186.195): 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21): Z O 2 22:25 (67.176.226.169): M O 3 00:00 (72.1.149.51) 3816 O 3 00:15 ( -66-108-49-21) Y 1 S 14 19:42 (68.167.186.195) ... A , R B ! 1 S 14 19:42 (68.167.186.195): 0 S 2 15:56 (32.97.110.142): 14704 O 3 00:26 ( -66-61-122-197. . . . ): O 2 08:21 (216.254.73.51): Q S 8 20:39 ( -24-193-221-78. . . . ) D S 30 12:09 (135.205.212.120) B F 1 S 14 19:42 (68.167.186.195)! _ From sondheim@panix.com Tue Oct 4 01:23:34 2005 Date: Tue, 4 Oct 2005 01:22:51 -0400 (EDT) From: Alan Sondheim Reply-To: Cyberculture To: Alan Sondheim Subject: [CC] what you found when you got there Resent-Date: Tue, 4 Oct 2005 01:23:22 -0400 (EDT) Resent-From: Alan Sondheim Resent-To: Cyberculture Resent-Subject: what you found when you got there (why the fuck does this asshole think anyone would be interested in his daily cross-posted drivel? sorry to interrupt here but this craps' driving me crazy. he made the point years ago. ok, we get it. no ones paying attention at this point. its worse than spam. i hope he fucking drops dead and dies. forget it, sondheim,, your full of it. stop spmaing the lists! fyck you moron. bet you wnat to know how i did this don't you) what you found when you got there bor--d tty--p ep () pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) too--l tty-- qk ct (chs--dma--com--cas--tne--t) tho--r tty--q ct () our--amo--ng als-- ont--ra tty--qj ct () is ins--ide--my my ixl--tty--q ep (fea--rnp--air-- com--) our--flo--ors--con--nec--ts my ixl--tty--q ep (fea--rnp--air--com-- ) wit--h nee--dle--par--k bor--d tty--p ep () pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) pcg-- ftp--ct (cpe--) tho--r tty--pz ct () als--ont--ra tty--qj ct () our--los-- t wot--w tty--py ct () is wit--hin--my coc--ain--eyo--ukn--owm--e rst-- tty--qi ct () our--on con--nec--ts my rst--tty--qi ct () wit--h nee--dle-- par--k bor--d tty--p ep () pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) mit-- tle--tty--qh ct () ann--e tty--p ct () evo--ur fuc--k kit--s tty--qe ep (pcp--pcs--lim--stn--dec--omc--ast--net--) rou--ght--ort--h thr--oug--h bor--d tty--p ep ()! bor--d tty--p ep () pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) kyn--n tty--pw ct () mel--lin--g tty--pq ep () our--my cry--sta--l tty--pu ep () is wit--hin--my fiz--z tty--po ep (ads--lds--lpl--tnp--acb-- ell--net--) our--on con--nec--ts my fiz--z tty--po ep (ads--lds--lpl--tnp-- acb--ell--net--) wit--h nee--dle--par--k bor--d tty--p ep () pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) fir--eba--ll tty--p ct (poo--lnw--rke--ast-- ver--izo--nne--t) ixl--tty--q ep (fea--rnp--air--com--) our--nee--dle-- dac--tty--p ep () is wit--hin--you--my the--tho--r tty--pz ct () our--inc-- and--esc--ent--con--nec--ts my tho--r tty--pz ct () wit--h nee--dle--par-- k bor--d tty--p ep () and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--abl--emi--nds-- pri--ngc--om) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) mel--lin--g tty--pq ep () dac--tty--p ep () ome--wit--h me, bor--d tty--p ep (), bea--uti--ful--wet--war--e! bor--d tty--p ep () and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--abl--emi--nds-- pri--ngc--om) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) mc tty--pc ep () sim--ona--tty--pm ct () our--my sro--nan--tty--pb ct () is inm--e my we ale--xis--tty--pl ul () our--imp--oss--ibl--e con--nec--ts my ale--xis--tty--pl ul () wit--h nee-- dle--par--k and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--ab) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--abl--emi--nds--pri--ngc--om) dac-- tty--p ep () mmo--en tty--p ct () our--dow--n son--dhe--im tty--p ct (poo-- lny--eas--tve--riz--onn--et) is inm--e my rta--ylo--r tty--p ct () our-- imp--oss--ibl--e con--nec--ts my rta--ylo--r tty--p ct () wit--h nee--dle-- par--k and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--ab) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) and-- yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--abl--emi--nds--pri--ngc--om) mik--hai--l tty--q ep () bas--it tty--pd ep () ome--wit--h me, and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--ab), bea--uti--ful--wet--war--e! and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce--vlc--ab) pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) and--yhu--nt ftp--ct (use--rce-- vlc--abl--emi--nds--pri--ngc--om) son--dhe--im tty--p ct (poo--lny--eas-- tve--riz--onn--et) too--l tty--qk ct (chs--dma--com--cas--tne--t) our--we kyl--et tty--p ep () is ins--ide--my jun--kie--als--ont--ra tty--qj ct () our--flo--ors--con--nec--ts my als--ont--ra tty--qj ct () wit--h nee--dle-- par--k oma--r tty--p ep () bor--d tty--p ep () pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) mch-- ary--tty--p ct () ann--e tty--p ct () pcg--ftp--ct (cpe--) tra--nsf--orm-- s our--oma--r tty--p ep () on me h, you--wit--h eds--and--lue--s!oma--r tty--p ep () bor--d tty--p ep () rae--l ftp--ct (cpe--mid--sou--thr--esr-- rco--m) ybm--cu tty--pe ct () dav--idc--tty--p ep (cpe--nyc--res--rrc--om) evo--ur whe--re bas--it tty--pd ep () rou--ght--ort--h thr--oug--h oma--r tty--p ep ()! -- Cyberculture@zacha.org http://www.zacha.org/mailman/listinfo/cyberculture _ a to zed catalog of images somewhere between six and ten thousand images maybe half of the last decade and apologies for the long download, I worked fifteen hours getting it this small poor baby you work too hard poor baby http://www.asondheim.org/azeds.mp4 you work too hard damned writings for those who can handle the bandwidth and don't mind tarballs, my writings are around 18 megabytes below - download and untar - this is all of my work for the past 12 years plus selected - your download will guarantee their survival - metastases - - alan http://www.asondheim.org/writings.tar actant actants aesthetic aether alan alterities Alterity Amidah analogic app archaea aristotelian arounds asondheim audion audiophiles authorial avatar avatars awk BBS bio biomes blogging blogs bookshops bricolage bushido bvh castrated cd cdrom CEN Centre chora circumlocuted circumscription clits clots codework codeworks coherencies collocations com Compaq complicit consciousnesses consensualities cordons cunt cunts Cybermind cyberspace cyborg cyborgs d'eruza d'nala dancework decathexis deconstructed deconstructing deconstruction deconstructs deerflies defuge denudation Derrida desiccated destabilization dhtml diachronically diachrony diegesis diegetic differance differend Difilter disassociating discomforted disinvestment distantiation Distributivities DSL ecologies effusions emanants emergences empathetic empathized encapsulations entasic entropic episteme ethernet everglades exe experientials extasis extensivity externality extinctions extrusions familiality fantasm fantasmic fasciatus feedforward fictivity filmmaker filmstock fingerboard foofwa genidentity geomatics gesturally gigabytes Google grep gridlines halfgroupoid hee hemiptera hir hirself historiographies holarchy htm html http hyperreality i'd i'm i've idealities ideogrammar ikonic imaginaries immersivities incompletes indexicality informatics inscriptive interiority internality internet interpenetrating interpenetrations introjections isp izanagi java javascript Jen jennifer jewish jisatsu jouissance jpg judgmental julu kanji Kebara kwat Lacan landbirds languaging latinate lejeune lifeworld liguus liminal linksys linux literarily LOL lpmud machinic magatama manifesto Marvellous mathematization mathesis mediaspace menued miami microworlds minefields Moab moron morphing morphs mov ms Mt multiculturalisms Myouka nakasukawabata nano Nara narcissism narratology neighborhooding Netscape neurophysiologies newbies nietzsche nijinsky nikuko Nikuko's nostalgias NYC objecthood oeuvre offline ontologies org organelles Panamarenko panix particulation paysage PDA peerings performativity periphyton perl phantasms phenomenologist physico playnt pneumosphere poolings postmodern postmodernism postmodernity pre presentification Prespace primordials problematized problematizes problematizing protolanguage psychoanalytical psychoanalytics qbasic realspace rearticulation rebirths redhat regimens reifications reinscribed reinscription releasement rills RNA romola rotifera runnels Sagdish satori sawgrass seamount sed sememe sememes Semiology semiosis semiotics sexualities shakuhachi shamisen sheffer shimenawa shinjuu shithead signifiers simulacra sions skeining skeins Snoxfly sondheim soundwork sourcess spam speakings specicide stentor stromatolite structuralism subgroupoids subjectivities Subsonic subtext subtexted susan symbologies Sysadmins systemics tamiami taxonomies techne teledildonics teleologies temporality tendrils terns tessellations thanatopoesis tion tions tr trAce traceroute tracert trans tropes txt typifications ulpan ums unfoldings unhinging URL URLs valium vicodin videowork virtualities vlf voiceovers VRML Waypoint webboard webcam Webpage Webpages website websites wetware wetwares WiFi willets worlding wryting www yamabushi ytalk zaurus zazen _ The Deserted "He [...] would imagine himself somewhere in Araby, at the brink of the Great Desert, the Lip. [...] Between the desert and the sea, he wrote, there is only the abyss; what the sea owns in depth, the desert owns the soul. He wrote to Miryam thus. In reply, there was only silence, the silence of One abandoned by the Dream." - T.L. http://www.asondheim.org/dreamscreen.mov _ fractal program scarred / at the limit wherein the computer does not go on forever it collapses after the strikes, only darkness this occurs somewhere around 10^12-13 everything runs out of room the question is, whether this running, this economy - is a fundamental characteristic of our universe (brillouin) - or just the happenstance of any computational limits the former makes increasing sense - as the world runs out of resources - as we come up against the carrying-capacity of the planet - who will live and who will die oh, what will life be like? scarred: http://www.asondheim.org/dismal.jpg scarred: http://www.asondheim.org/dismal2.jpg at the limit: http://www.asondheim.org/dismallimit.jpg at the limit: http://www.asondheim.org/dismallimit2.jpg _ 2 real things flaccus, thomas ward, wrote this book, published 1842, anonymous. the signature is signed by the author "the author" - http://www.asondheim.org/ - scroll down the directory to the four 'flaccus' images - how to authenticate? how not to? if it were signed flaccus or thomas ward, would there be any greater guarantee? a signature is always on the periphery - where authenticity exists (see adorno on the same) - i included a poem i like. flaccus was attacked somewhat but not entirely rightfully by edgar allan poe: http://www.eapoe.org/works/criticsm/gm43wt01.htm (but then what is 'rightfully'?) i was incredibly lucky to find the book, which appears to include the author's own corrections. (i couldn't find an online copy at all.) who else would write a poem about throwing up at sea? = two nights ago there was a huge water main break in front of our house, flooding the whole area of flatbush avenue, dean street, a bit of pacific, etc. i videotaped at 3 a.m. i was going to make a 'piece' out of it, but was fascinated by the water literally pushing up through cracks and manhole covers in the street. here it is sped up 300 per cent: http://www.asondheim.org/fastbreak.mp4 art imitates nature - industry imitates art - decay imitates industry - breakage imitates decay - flood imitates breakage - nature imitates flood - _ viral Index of http://www.asondheim.org/sondheim -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 1047 Jul 11 22:36 0.README.txt -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 4968 Jul 11 22:36 00README1st.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 186671 Jul 11 22:24 024.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 186502 Jul 11 22:24 026.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 179056 Jul 11 22:24 038.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 174981 Jul 11 22:24 039.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 186765 Jul 11 22:24 043.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 195859 Jul 11 22:24 045.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 extinction: is it always physical?22:24 046.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 there are some who say yes, and some who054.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 say no. for myself, i am not sure. there061.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 is this constant throbbing in my brain, 062.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 upper left hemisphere, once or twice a day..jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 perhaps a stroke, you will forget me.24 069.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 190280 Jul 11 22:24 070.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 179189 Jul 11 22:24 074.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 mewling mewling 171877 Jul 11 22:24 076.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 that's better. i know when i am wanted4 078.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 and when i am unwanted. you hate me :24 1492.gif -rw-r--r-- 1 because you hate protocols, hate the:24 260.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 business of being online, want purity,4 270.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 transparency. i am your nightmare of 24 31.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 breakdown,ondheim 614 Jul 11 22:55 404.shtml -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 23384 Jul 16 08:07 ABACUS.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 1535 Jul 16 08:07 ALAN2.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 15795 Jul 16 08:07 AVATARS.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 19530 Jul 16 08:08 BKREVIEW.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 62509 Jul 11 22:25 BUDDHA.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 your nightmare of corrosion, the texts5 BUDDHA.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 slipping away from you, catastrophic:08 Blood.txt -rw-r--r-- 1 failure. i am the jew-virus corroding your.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 suburban soil. i am soiled. i make jokesC5.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 of stupidity and puns that destroy your CHAOS.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 language. you keep saying 'what i mean toHAR.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 say.' you keep saying nothing, your teethHIASM.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 are rotted with your voice.Jul 11 22:25 CHORA.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 13576 Jul 16 08:08 CINEMA.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 25153 Jul 16 08:08 COMPBIO.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 4275 Jul 16 08:08 CYBINFO.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 438806 Sep 12 01:14 DBhome.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 this could be your stick of files, your DEAD.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 bone-body, your stick-leg stick-arm. thisEADTIME.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 could be what i have done to you, that youATH.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 flee me like the plague, won't give me theATH.HTM -rw-r--r-- 1 time of day as i stalk your mind. i8:08 DIARY.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 struggle to survive, oh yes i do, oh yes iARY2.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 do, i certainly do. 114835 Jul 16 08:08 DIARY3.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 57684 Jul 11 22:25 DOOD.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 9647 Sep 17 08:10 ECONOMY.HTM -rw-r--r-- 1 nikuko and julu will avenge me, jenniferEND.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 furiously violates your every word. no wonder27.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 you hate me, you hate every living thing you049.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 can't control. you want to believe, you want102.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 to believe your thoughts are your own.6 EVER212.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 8996 Jul 16 08:08 EXE_README.txt -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 7716 Jul 16 08:08 FIGURE.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 i give you your thoughts, they are the8 FILMVID.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 thoughts of your enemies. your thoughts areOD.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 your nightmares.m 15126 Jul 16 08:08 FLUX.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 2856 Jul 16 08:08 FOPINFO.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 do i give or do i take do i come or do i goC1.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 talking of michelangelo tentacles swaying to2.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 and fro are you speaking to me are you0 FRAME1.HTM -rw-r--r-- 1 speaking to meeim 7186 Jul 11 22:26 FREIGHT.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 13879 Jul 16 08:08 FUTCULT.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 11339 Jul 16 08:08 FUTURE.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 how much of the early bird this text willantasm.txt -rw-r--r-- 1 bottom out i return you to a world clearFlower.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 as glass and coca-cola5363 Sep 17 08:16 Follow.jpg -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 96378 Jul 11 22:26 GIFT.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 123519 Jul 11 22:26 GIRL.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 46748 Jul 11 22:27 HUNGER.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 18531 Jul 16 08:08 INTRVIEW.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 when i die your happiness will be completeHTM -rw-r--r-- 1 no longer contagion in pakistan and belgium.JPG -rw-r--r-- 1 or plague in pennsylvania bodies will liveY.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 forever what a wonderful world this willKYOKO.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 bendheim sondheim 84135 Jul 11 22:27 LEAK.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 10458 Jul 16 08:09 LOVE.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 9849 Jul 16 08:09 MODEL.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 41196 Jul 11 22:28 NIKU17.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 23641 Jul 11 22:32 SKIN.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 8937 Jul 11 22:32 SKINNY.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 13748 Jul 16 08:11 SOUND.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 21728 Jul 11 22:32 SUCKGOD.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 8251 Sep 17 08:10 SUPER.htm -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 71816 Jul 16 08:11 Uncanny.txt -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 127869 Jul 11 22:33 VIRUS.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 16664 Jul 16 08:11 WRITING.TXT -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 91131 Jul 16 08:11 Weather.txt -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 172755 Jul 11 22:34 YOU.GIF -rw-r--r-- 1 sondheim sondheim 17350 Jul 11 22:34 YOUYOU.GIF drwxr-xr-x 2 sondheim sondheim 4096 Jul 11 14:09 _private Catherine and Paul in Closeup http://www.asondheim.org/assignation.mov They were lost to the rest of us. They were lost to each other. For hours I worked on the color of my dreams.o From whence cometh the o. Yeah though I walk in the valley of death I will fear no evil. A cool moment. Not everything is philosophy PLAYTIME^2 PLAYTIME:::Daughters enter. They are identical. They say. OUR BIG BREASTS ARE COVERED :Daughters enter. They are identical. They say. OUR BIG BREASTS ARE COVERED Devour drugs KILLED. I WILL KILL ALL FOREIGN PEOPLE. THESE ARE MY DAUGHTERS. Brought Forth through PLAYTIME! PLAYTIME:::FOREIGNERS. DO YOU LIKE OUR WHITE SKIN. SUCK OUR WHITE SKIN. ALL :Enter Laura Bush. Laura Bush is eaten by George Bush and oiled daughters. Come with me, PLAYTIME, beautiful wetware! PLAYTIME:::Enter Old Europe. GOODBYE.:blood. Come with me, PLAYTIME, beautiful wetware! PLAYTIME:::George Bush and all daughters shit Laura Bush. :FOREIGN PEOPLE ARE EVIL. WE WILL KILL ALL FOREIGN PEOPLE. Come with me, PLAYTIME, beautiful wetware! PLAYTIME:::Enter Laura Bush. Laura Bush is eaten by George Bush and oiled daughters.:Assassins kill George Bush. George Bush rises and says. OUR FUTURE IS transforms Your PLAYTIME on me... PLAYTIME:::Everyone comes to life. Everyone rises and bows.:Daughters rise. They say. WE ARE EATING YOUR SHIT ON THE BLOOD OF transforms Your PLAYTIME on me... PLAYTIME:::Everyone leaves.:crucifixes all daughters. All daughters die. PLAYTIME::::Enter New Europe. HELLO. Come with me, PLAYTIME. PLAYTIME:::I AM STUCK ON NUMBERS. I SHIT ON ALL FOREIGNERS. DAUGHTERS, EAT MY SHIT ON :Assassins kill George Bush. He rises and says. I AM GEORGE BUSH THE FIRST. Devour cocaine-you-know-me Assassins kill George Bush. He rises and says. I AM GEORGE BUSH THE FIRST. Brought Forth through PLAYTIME! PLAYTIME:::George Bush enters. He says. IT'S TIME WE KILL ALL FOREIGN PEOPLE. ALL :Assassins kill all daughters. Daughters rise and say. OUR WHITE SKIN IS Your the is put-you-in-me my THEY WILL FUCK OUR WHITE SKIN. WE MUST KILL ALL FOREIGNERS. Your for connects my THEY WILL FUCK OUR WHITE SKIN. WE MUST KILL ALL FOREIGNERS. with needle park. PLAYTIME:::PURE. OUR WHITE SKIN IS PURE. WE WILL NOT FUCK FOREIGNERS AND TURN GRAY. :PURE. OUR WHITE SKIN IS PURE. WE WILL NOT FUCK FOREIGNERS AND TURN GRAY. Your junkie Assassins kill all daughters. Daughters rise and say. OUR WHITE SKIN IS is in-me my me Assassins kill all daughters. Daughters rise and say. OUR WHITE SKIN IS Your impossible connects my Assassins kill all daughters. Daughters rise and say. OUR WHITE SKIN IS with needle park. PLAYTIME:::George Bush oils his daughters.:Enter Old Europe. GOODBYE. Devour dreams All foreigners of Old Europe and New Europe are killed. Brought Forth through PLAYTIME! PLAYTIME:::Daughters rise. They say. WE ARE EATING YOUR SHIT ON THE BLOOD OF :Enter Laura Bush. Laura Bush is eaten by George Bush and oiled daughters. Devour ALL FOREIGNERS. Brought Forth through PLAYTIME! PLAYTIME:::All say. WE WILL KILL ALL FOREIGNERS.:George Bush hammers nails in all daughters eyes and hands. George Bush Come with me, PLAYTIME. PLAYTIME:::ASSASSINS. Laura Bush kills all assassins.: Your coming Assassins kill Laura Bush. Laura Bush rises and says. I WILL KILL ALL is in my. with needle park. _ "limit notes revisioned where a function converges to a limit. what is beyond the limit. */the singularity ends not as void, not as voidness of void; it ends in both interior and exterior, embedded and embedding space. the latter is of formal interest only; the former may turn in upon itself, present a boundary related to stability boundaries (outside of which is chaos), or narrow asymptotically, never reading an end as time forestalls./* construction of works as edge phenomena */two types of edge phenomena: dis/comfiture and formal boundaries./* fields of symptoms, intermixtures of fields */structured formal symptomologies, chaotic symptomologies, the latter in direct relation to environmental destruction./* the result given in relation to apperception */perceived and unperceived: within or without the interior/* koan, satori, etc. in relation to edge - */as if there were a zero point or its absence here/* diogenes laertius in relation to zeno - | | || - sputtered discrete into analog at the limit - */into catastrophe at the limit: what happens when both space and time collapse utterly? compare this to infinite environmental depletion./* tools, vlf radio */both e and b fields/* poser and other motion-capture work */now the level of formal exercise/* extensions of narratives */being there/* analog/digital investigations: physics, mathematics */failed here so far/* police-scanner psychotopography */useless to date/* */environmental depletion. catastrophic degradation. increase of scanner noise, decrease of coherency./* - talk about geography and consciousness */psychogeography of extinction. infiltration of wounded species./* - universe and consciousness in relation to 'plasma' */destruction of consciousness, destruction of universe. neither creation nor destruction, neither void nor emptiness. neither fullness nor identity, equivalence, identification./* sexualities */always, limitless, collapsing, extinguishing./* heuristics */what to do to survive, last of your species/* languages bodies */no one hears you anyway. no one sees you./* pathos, empathy, sympathy, defuge */yes yes but for whom. stories are lost, it's gone, it never was, never existed, the one for the many stands for the many for the one./* anomalous vlf signals welded together */as if there were still an earth/* rule-governed systems in relation to consciousness (going back to older immersive/definable work). what is the _meaning_ of particular explanation? is explanation itself a form of the discrete? */does an explanation demand a community? bohm's coherency? does an explanation demand a species?/* the system in relation to the carrying-out of the system */the system is the residue of the process. the process is the maintenance of the system./* temporality inherent in the carrying-out */standards, typifications, typologies, taxonomies, of temporality in the absence of culture, energy, mechanism, stasis, data-storage, species, community, organism./* irigaray, fluid mechanics - hertz's mechanics. */substituted flux, nodal points. hieroglyphics of production. fluids require external molds to which they conform. mechanisms my inherently cohere./* the_limit_ is the discrete mathematization/formalism itself as on the page - the limit background - call it the 'horizon' or phenomenological horizon - is the immersive activity. */the requisite of peirce's sheet of assertion. who manufactures the sheet? what organism? species? where is the sheet located? does it decay in the presence of runaway oxidation?/* immersive activity is vectored, i.e. past-future, however entangled. an issue is genidentity - i.e. that constants, what _passes_ for constants - i.e. those formal written elements (which may include time as a variable). */constants do not exist in a world heading towards catastrophic break- points, feed-forward mechanisms hurrying depletion on one hand, the exponentially-increasing (but not forever) approach of the planet's carrying-capacity on the other. hold to your sheet of assertion which becomes a winding sheet; bury yourself in it. you are the last of your kind./* a second limit - that of the apparatus - i.e. bandwidth or perceptual limit (of course not equivalent). how to translate the former into the latter - i.e. lowering pitch, etc. */bringing what is external into the cognizance of the internal. with what energy? nourishment? what liquid guaranteeing the survival of the mind?/* sexual/linguistic limits - how the body is collapsed/expanded (see leder for example) - the body's _jordan surface_ for example, i.e. topology rendered _diffused_ - exhortations of the plasma. */malnourishment for example. the skin dry, sloughed. stitched splits in the skin. wounds. shrapnel./* _discomforted_ boundaries - */watching the approach of death. the discomfiture of the unapproachable. it is our human destination, this non-absorption, this void always already present, the drive of incoherency, loss of habitat. the closed eyes, disappearance of species, of this, the, species, of this language, sheet of assertion. of this any./* - and as I read this, I could not help thinking - here is the limit-symbol of the thought, the discrete result, preponderance of diffuse movement- motion well within the habitus-inhabitation, here it is. */here is nothing. here is the waiting for apocalypse. hunger, thirst, heat, loom. here are wars, disease, unimaginable weaponry, terrorisms. here at last is prophecy./* - and that these symbols are themselves deep within a potential well, mo- mentarily stable, this is what i am thinking, this is what i was */broken from the end-point, the was, what you, i, are, speaking and speaking, well into the night, spoken-for, this last gasp, tremor, prediction, against which all others are absent, against which disappearing measurement, stop- ping clock, relativity's errancy/* 4 a.m. doctor doctor doctor doctor listen here. my work encompasses all realms both diachronic and synchronic. replete and fecund, annihilistic, nihilistic and vacuous. courts the birth of death simultaneously the death of birth. all chiasmus until extinction. everything resonates with everything and as i have said i write myself into existence likewise i write myself out of existence. everything absorbed only to be readmitted, emitted, transformed. i am the shattered container of the world and its shattered vessels. collector of the final names and namelessness. horder of species otherwise forever amber, lost. encompassing of everything buttresses a psyche of the ill-conceived. encyclopedic mathesis of my imaginary and its real. accountancy and disinterrment of the unaccountable. useless prevarications, en-compassings of the ten directions. epistemic systemics transgressing all ontologies. smeared residual structures presencing our being in the world. illusory appearances and apparent illusions. incoherently disordered cabinets of ultimate collectors. gridded estates of reality and linear potential wells. shoring up and shoring up the world, the self, mordant attempt at eternal presencing. turning against myself equivalent to turning against the world, they are humans who have troubled us in the first (originary) place. incandescent fear of personal injury, pain, transgression, authority, transformed into precise enumeration of universal taxonomies and violence. continuous seeking of the wonder of such precision and its disengagement. manic states of constant discovery and miraculous singularities. everywhere all the time everyone forever and eternal. voiding nothing and unvoiding nothing instantaneous, timeless. (the id crashes against the superego, what sparks!) air.force i love the american airforce and its force against air air doesn't know what to do, there are exciting things if we stop moving, we'll fall down they say so they don't fall down, they keep on moving http://www.asondheim.org/airforce.mov didn't you hear the chant of refugees if we stop moving, we'll fall down they say so they don't fall down, they keep on moving the american airforce is the refugee of the air keep it moving, always keep it moving Duet http://www.asondheim.org/plusplustaptap.mp4 Collaboration: video Foofwa d'Imobilite Realisation: Alan Sondheim Performance: Maud Liardon Performance: Julu 10/2005 secret history http://www.asondheim.org/bio.mov perhaps false memory perhaps not Banishment The Word is abandoned to the script. I debated releasing this, created the quicktime video, still hiding behind one or another masquerade - this yet another, endless, defeating. One must banish oneself, escape, escapade. The film was insufficient, deficient. The short program below formatted this file, allowed me to write the inescapable. #!/usr/local/bin/perl -w # biography $| = 1; `cp .bio .bio.old`; print "Would you like to add to bio information? If so, type y.\n"; chop($str=); if ($str eq "y") {print "Begin with date.\n"; print "Write single line, use ^d to end.\n"; open(APPEND, ">> .bio"); @text=; print APPEND @text; close APPEND;} `sort -o .bio .bio`; exit(0); Day in and day out several years ago I would add to the text whenever I logged on. I became increasingly horrified. Of course! I cannot vouch for the accuracy of the below, which is at best the fault of memory. This is what I think happened to the best of my ability. 1943 There are early screen memories of _being carried_ on a medical gurney past rows of medication bottles; the lighting was fluorescent, a nurse pushing the cart - I remember everything from the position of _being behind_ her. 1943-1997 I have had my faults. 1948 Or thereabouts - remembering crying in the car with mother, worried that if she kept kissing me, she'd run out of kisses; already I was frightened, gathering security and comfort where I could, this very early memory. 1950 All through childhood I had to take weekly Saturday allergy shots; I was terrified; my arm would swell up like a molten hive. I had hives as well in my hair and in camp, once, a huge swollen lip from chewing on a plant stem. Grotesque. 1950 I was given a small film projector with a crank on the side; it was crinkled black with a translucent window for viewing the animated cartoons. All of my work has stemmed from this. 1952 I really don't have a date but wonder about my early love for Theresa who worked for the family and who I think went to an asylum. All my memories are like this, vague dates, worried and blanked memories. I remember golden hair. 1952 I remember a wonderful British tricycle with large wheels, painted black. I remember a red wagon. I remember... 1952 It was around this year that we moved from Reynolds Street to Ford Avenue. I don't think I was friendly with the Brennans any more. We used to fight with serrated pieces of wood. The screendoor had a tear in it. 1955 Around this time, I had an operation to have my ears pinned back; it was traumatic, hideous; the novacaine didn't remain local and I had 70 injections, ended up screaming; always felt I was deformed; still remember the cutting, the flesh, the sound. 1956 I heard of Elvis. I loved the word "fuck." Someone showed me Elvis' picture in the paper. At camp, camp. 1956 I watched someone masturbate at camp; I was thrilled. Early homoerotic memories, not genitally-centered. He masturbated on the bleachers; I forget his name. 1956 Later this year (or was it this year?), I masturbated ceaselessly in the shower and bathtub; sperm stuck to me, everywhere. I associated masturbation with urination, retaining the urine, spurting both on myself, ecstatically. 1956-60 I cried myself to sleep, etc. I had a small box on the bed table; I'd keep a list of best friends in it as well as a list of "things to do" so I could surprise myself - some sort of obscene proxy. 1956-8 I joined the American Forestry Association (or something with a similar name) and had images of trees on the walls; I flitted from one to another - I couldn't really identify with them. I also had the runic alphabet up. I cried myself to sleep. 1958 Johnny Uhl and I were walking late at night and he threw at the neon inn sign and it fell like smashed glass and I didn't tell but was never so scared in my life. The world too smashed. I was a coward. 1959 I was probably a Junior at the Blue and White dances at Wyoming Seminary, hopelessly in love with Platt Townend, yes, dancing breathless with her, letting her go, fly across the room. She would never have had me, never wanted me, danced out of pity. 1959 I'd fall asleep dreaming of Platt Townend or earlier Margaret Hall, always saving them, somehow, desperately, they'd turn toward me, I'd take care of them, everything would be all right, eternal life and devotion, tears on my pillow, sentiment... 1960 Ann Welsh or Walsh was my first real girlfriend; we tried to fuck and didn't succeed and I was impotent until I was 24. I was completely hysteric and insecure with her; her parents finally broke us up. 1960 Barely made it to the senior prom with Cheri Kanjorski (sp?) who I think really hated me; we went over to Don Evans' afterwords and the lights were off and I knew secret sexualities were going on and I was jealous and Cheri went with me from despair. 1960 I just about flunked my first semester at Brown, collapsing until I learned to hold myself back, give the faculty what they wanted, hating it all the time... 1960 I remember reaching for Ann's breast; I was sick and at her grandmother's. I couldn't behave myself. At one point we yelled about breaking each other's arms. I was working at a Settlement House in East Harlem; her parents had arranged this. 1960 I volunteered for secret army tests as well - checking out reflex times; I came out extremely high. 1960 I went to Israel for a summer, living largely in Jerusalem, almost became religious, meandered around the country. 1960 It was around this period that I had my only "attested" psychic experience, with Patti Rogers. She tried to kill herself at Syracuse; I was at Brown, and suddenly, walking back to Pembroke, realized I had to call her; I did, and calmed her down. 1960 It's this summer I first go to Israel and almost have a religious conversion. I feel relieved that Jew isn't a dirty word, that the blasted images I received from reading the Nuremberg trials (medical report) have started to clear out... 1960 The depressions continue for the rest of my life 1960 These dates, these beginnings are obscure to me, and always have been; I bounced myself off of every wall in existence, barely making it through the first year, hating the others, but it was at least better than highschool misery. 1960-1997 Sleeping and waking: insomnia goads me my entire life; there are days I can't sleep, days I do nothing but; lowered body temperature is accompanied by horrific feelings of submergence and fuzziness; I never am fully awake. 1961 I almost flunked out of school. My life was a disaster. 1961-1962 My second year at Brown was miserable. I hated my roommates; one of them spent a semester making toothpicks out of a log. I felt tormented. My writing was horrible. I didn't know what I was doing; I wanted to escape. Hell. 1962 I watched the side of the factory open up in the middle of the night and a machine (I later identified as an atomic cannon) wheel out, run to the end of the valley in Jerusalem, its turret revolving, turn around, and go back. Next day, the factory 1962 It was this year that I got beat up on the campus by two townies who broke my nose, left me covered with blood; I went looking for a friend of mine, hoping to scare him. I was an idiot. A guard insisted I go to the hospital. My nose is still bent. 1962 On a trip through the Negev, I saw, from a distance, an atomic facility that was, we "knew" intended for the development and production of nuclear weapons. 1962 Was it during this year, when I was in Israel, that my grandfather died? That my cat died as well? I returned home at a loss; I hadn't been told. My other grandfather died, I think, in 1953, the result of a car accident (maternal). 1962 We managed to get shot at from an absurdly safe distance on the Galil in Israel, while witnessing a battle between Israelis and Syrians. At the UN, the former were condemned; in real life, it was all to clear that the latter had started the attack. 1962 was still, closed up once again. I asked my roommate what it was; he kept saying "a textile factory." But there was something else gone on... 1962-1963 Went to Israel for a year, living mainly in Jerusalem. Took an overdose of opium, had jaundice, saw wonders. 1966 Went to Europe for the summer; met Joel Zabor who became the drummer of the group; stayed at a Borstal in Dover (they thought I was on drugs). 1967 It's around now I'm in Europe. I met you (I forget your name) - knew you from Israel. You saved me. I wanted to take pills, kill myself. You gave me some, said take them. Vitamins. I tried to fuck a black woman who wanted me. I couldn't, cried. 1967 Lost my virginity to Noney; she was 15 at the time and I was 24. She hung around the music group I was forming. I moved into her parents' house; they knew. Things began to go very wrong. She'd been abused at the age of 4. I owned a fire siren. 1967 Paul Geremia ran into the studio screaming Noney's just tried to kill herself and holding me responsible. 1967-1968 Put out three records with a group, two with ESP, one independent. Greg Johnson kept things under control (played flute); only later could I break out. The ESPs got a bad review later in the Penguin Encyclopedia of Jazz. They sung. 1967-1970 Did I speak of the Great Fear of country and anarchy I had, that it wasn't my own madness setting in, that it was elsewhere, the destruction of all good things, that I was doomed, cowardly, unable to cross the line, conservative secretly? 1968 I bought a red IBM Selectric, my first real electric typewriter, which I used for years, did An,ode on. Later it went to Jerry and Joe in Dallas; as far as I know (1997), they still have it, almost worn out... I loved the feel and the sound and... 1968 I had An,ode published by the Waldrops' Burning Deck Press in Providence. An,ode was my M.A. thesis - a work of experimental poetry (so-called); Keith Long from RISD did the cover. It was my first real publication, however slight. 1968 I lived for a summer in Minneapolis with June. 1968 I think June and I were married; it was a traditional wedding. I was afraid of her father's anti-semitism. Our fucking was unsuccessful; I had forgotten Noney who might have still been in the asylum. 1969 Vito and I in our dismally-cathected relationship, talked about swapping women (they never would have gone along); I already sensed something was wrong with June and me... 1973 At the Paris Biennale I put up "The World's Smallest Sculpture" created with a scanning electron microscope; a piece based on an assassination of President Nixon; and diagrams relating to the "general structure" of the world. 1973-1974 I went to Europe with Beth; we lived for a month in Copenhagan (where we made love with a voyeur watching across, from one empty apartment to another) and longer in Paris, where I was in the Paris Biennale. 1974 Around this time, I remember living off and on with Rosemary Mayer; she left the loft one day, and I said Take care of yourself, and she said, I always do... 1974 I lectured all over the place, UCSD, Cal Arts, RISD (with Kathy), Yale (with Kathy), Wesleyan, etc. Kathy and I parted dubious friends. Later she told Allison I was crazy; Allison told me; I told Allison Kathy was crazy. 1974 Logic of consciousness worked out, The Book as System of Military Defense (about Tina Weymouth), The Fourteen Stations of the Cross presented at St. Mark's Church (influenced by Rosemary Mayer), Two Suites of Figure Drawings, Acker/Sondheim tapes. 1974 Rosemary warned me about Vito, that he wasn't as good a friend as he said. He told her I was a pest, told me the same about Dara Birnbaum, told her the same about me, told me the same about Rosemary. Acconci was always in control. 1975 Around this period, Laurie accompanied me at a poetry reading at St. Mark's On-the-Bowery. She borrowed a videocamera from me, and set it up in her loft, aimed out the window. An image was burned in; she had to replace the tube. 1975 Rosemary Mayer and I split vowing to remain friends. It didn't remain that way. During this period, I worked with Laurie Anderson; I was somewhat in love with her - that same kind of damaging worship that affected me with Margaret. 1976-1977 I work on the Structure of Reality, a text composed of the hysteria of information, network theory, annihilation in code-particles. It's printed in Halifax and Williams College, two editions. Parts surface later in an article in C magazine. 1977 Around this date I thought that if aliens came from another world, they would contact me, because I comprehended the world, as much as possible. I would dream like this, reminiscent of when a child, salvaging planets, desires, beings, being. 1977 I taught for a year in Hartford, at the Hartford College of Art. 1977 Joanna was born; I was totally unprepared. Everyone's relationship to me immediately changed; I couldn't handle it, and Ellen wouldn't hear of a babysitter at this point. Tensions became really difficult; I left for Irvine, and Ellen came later. 1977 Secretly, I think I know everything. 1977 Tamara Bowers fucking me, the first and only totally rewarding anal sex, her saying I've had my eyes on you for a long time, later - now, I remember, having written this before, and then, later, in Tasmania, her telling me to go to hell... 1977 The Whitney shows the tape Kathy Acker and I made; there's a guard at the door. My parents go; I've asked them not to. I agree only if they never mention the show to me. Worlds fall apart. Over the years, Kathy and I make $2000-$3000 from the tape. 1977-1997 Relating to Joanna; I never see her enough; as she gets older I can relate more and more to her, an indication of my own failings. I've always been honest with her, as best I can, only when younger, keeping my work from her; it's disturbing. 1978 Remembering Laura Hayes, who became an erotic image / imaginary for me, for almost a decade, remembering her in a garden, wooden house, parents, sunlight bright in Pennsylvania, her small breasts, intensity, eyes, eyes, eyes. 1978-1979 I taught for a year at the University of California, Irvine; I left Ellen and joined Laura Hayes in Hartford, commuting to Montreal weekly to teach at Concordia University, and University of Ottawa. 1980 I get involved with women who are as crazy as I am; no one saner would put up with me. My relationships are characterized by extremes of intensity, hysteria, exhaustion, sexuality. I'm worn out, wear people out. A bad catch... 1980 I saw Vito for one of the last times, and stopped speaking to him; I couldn't take his notion of "my generation / your generation" and remembered all too well his sexism, mild deceit, and the feeling that I had been used. 1980 The year where my writing began to coalesce; I was 37 already. Lived with Laura Hayes for part of the year in Montreal and was there for the Quebecois referendum. I discovered Nicole Brossard, feminin ecriture, and Hubert Acquin; they resonated. 1980-1982 I taught at UCLA for two years, in the art and art history departments. I met Sungja Lee and we lived together for a year, traveling back to Montreal. Allison Rossiter said I mistreated her. She spoke English badly, accusing me of everything. 1982 Allison and I left for Queenstown in the eastern center of the island. We were warned we might be killed; we got off the bus and traffic stopped. People pulled over to the side of the road and watched. We ran back in, dressed as punks, terrified... 1982 I left for three and a half years - to teach in Tasmania - lasted three and a half months, returning with Allison Ritch; I was asked to resign. The only time in my life I drank, and the closest I've come to a nervous breakdown. 1982 I went to Tasmania where I met Allison Ritch and returned with her; before that, I wrote Tamara Bowers (who I had slept with at Irvine and who wrote back telling me to go to hell) and June, who never wrote back after the first letter. 1982 In Queenstown we end up at the home of a Belgian hairdresser on the outskirts of town; the home is made of television set cabinets. He gives us whatever we look at. All of us I think are very close to breakdown. I don't remember where I got the time. 1983 I take over the curatorial position at Nexus Contemporary Arts Center. Allison and I move to Atlanta. I get drunk at the first opening/function I attend, go home and have a horrific breakdown, putting my head through the wall. Allison freaks. 1983-85 After teaching for a semester at Ontario College of Art, with Allison staying in Amherst, New York, because she couldn't cross the border (we fought, were depressed), I took up the curatorship at Nexus in Atlanta. 1984 At Nexus, we began the Atlanta Biennale; the first exhibition cost only $800. One of the few times I felt I did "good" for people. The show was hung salon-style and involved an alternative arts community that had rarely shown. 1985-6 Later Paul Celan's poetry would take off from where Theresa began; his poetry of elegy and holocaust related to the pure milk skin memories of desire I still retain - perhaps an afterthought, afterbirth, projection... 1985-87 I left Nexus, Allison left me, I went to University of Texas at Dallas, under Dean Robert Corrigan's multi-disciplinary program; fourteen of us arrived and eleven left by the end of the two years. I met Denise. 1986 I first met Denise at a punk/industrial music night; her musicians didn't show up and she played with our group (Damaged Life). She moved in a week later. Her voice was incredible; she immediately replaced our singer and all the other musicians. 1987 Denise tied me up, spread her period across me; she urinated on me; another time, she drew a perfect cunt between my asshole and prick. I was ecstatic, transported; I sucked her tampax. Images made a perfect grid on the wall, counterpoint to music. 1987 When she left me, Denise had worn a sore into her forehead, out of pure tension. She never disagreed with anything I said; we were both frustrated and mad with each other. She left suddenly; she had to. We were devouring ourselves. 1988 And I had never been treated so badly as I was with Nancy. She threatened to kill me when we split, after I had met Margaret, and had become all too close to Shellie Fleming, the film Curator at Image in Atlanta. I didn't behave well with Shellie. 1988 I also met Nancy Golden while at Hallwalls; this was the beginning of another disaster. She moved in the day we met, upon my invitation; we got along for the first two weeks or so, before psychosis and hysteria set in. I never behaved so badly. 1988 I became Artistic Director at Hallways Contemporary Arts Center. The job was a disaster, and the position undefined. I fought it all the way, having arguments in particular with Chris Tebes, the new executive director. By April I had resigned. 1988 I took up the Artistic Directorship of Hallwalls Contemporary Artcenter in Buffalo, of which I have already written. 1989 At the end of the year, Margaret and I left Atlanta for New York. I thought we'd last forever. We felt hounded out of town; everyone we knew "sided" with Nancy and condemned our relationship. People went silent when we walked in the room... 1989 Margaret and I are driving through western North Carolina; it's summer or spring and I start crying. I've never been so happy; I know I'll never be so happy again. She's behind the wheel of the red Civic. I'm watching _everything._ 1989-91 During the years with Margaret I had the feeling we could get in the car and go _anywhere_ and we did. Even with depression, fighting, silences, the trips were ecstatic and moments of intense work for me - hours of video, film, audio, and writing. 1991 Or so, found out the ESP records had been reissued as CDs by ZYX records who never got in touch - how could they? I didn't even have a contract with Bernard (Bernie) Stollman for the second; it didn't matter. The stuff was out there, remembered. 1992 Margaret walked out after my severe depressions; she told me she was committed to me the day she left. I remember the truck pulling away, the expression on the face of her mother. I was stunned... She met her future husband within the hour. 1993 Finally started on the Internet with an IBM XT. My first post was to the Derrida list. I met Michael Current after going on Future Culture through a recommendation by John Frost (through Robert Horvitz advertising the Art Papers issue). 1993 My first cyber-relationship experience with a grad student in Toronto; I met her on Chris Keep's postmodern list. (Maybe it was Kingston?) She asked me if we were cyber-fucking. Later we met in the NS library and didn't get along - depressing. 1996 At the end of November, attended the Cybermind96 conference in Perth, Australia, where I was keynote speaker and participated in a number of panels; I also showed video and spoke at Murdoch, met Kim, Antonio, Jason, and Summa, among others. 1996 I meet Allison in Sydney after the Perth conference. She begins by telling me I treat women badly. I said I treated her badly possibly but she shouldn't generalize; she agrees. I said she treated me badly. Seeing her was intense. 1996 I think Allison and I worked through some of our differences, but it was/is very shaky. 1996 Worked through Mike Gurstein in Sydney, Nova Scotia, on pilot projects wiring up the province for community development (Internet); fell in love with Natalie MacMaster and her music; the woman never knew... 1996 thought of this program as a way to begin to create an autobiography, everything ordered through dates... 1997 After the book launch party, Doctress Neutopia took photographs of me masturbating while having Net Sex; she said she'd place them on her Web Site - I never wanted to speak to her again. 1997 Back in Sydney again for a second round, dealing with a wider range of issues, but less grass-roots... 1997 But when Robert apologized, it was too late, and our friendship, which had existed from the early seventies, was over. 1997 I lived at 4-7-7 Chiyo, Hakata-Ku, Fukuoka-Shi 812, Japn, 81-92-633-6048 1997 I return over and over again to this, in an attempt to reduce the noise in my head, clarify the strands of incomprehensible thinking. I think: "my life's like gnarled sinew." I think: rhizomatic. And: "I owe everything to you." 1997 I think I'm so smart. 1997 January 7-22 worked with C\CEN in Sydney for economic development vis-a-vis the Internet, listened to Lisa MacArthur play strathspeys, wrote about freighters while staying at Kristin's and Jason's, returned to comparative emptiness. 1997 Late, I think, my brother Mark comes over and joins Lexie and me for four days 1997 Lexie and I make a tour down the coast of Oregon; she had come to meet me in NYC for lunch, stayed for a few days, and I joined her two weeks later. Then after two weeks, returned to NY; two months later, to Fukuoka 1997 Met Lexie Don and fell in love with her hard, in 2 days, in New York. Now I try to understand this, and will meet her in Seattle, travel with her to Victoria to my brother's family. 1997 November went to Fukuoka to join Lexie Don 1997 Stromatolites, cyanobacteria, tendrils. 1997 Today I received a carton of my older work from Ted Byfield; it was sent to Robert Horvitz over the years. Horvitz and I had a falling out when Ellen and I split; he felt that I treated her badly, treated him badly, and used him. Later he apologized. 1997 Wrote the first version of The Case of the Real in Fukuoka; the Jennifer book is published; rewrote the book for Saul Ostrow in November 1997 z, I use you "z" for coda, denouement. This is the jargon of autobiography, screen or peripheral memories, asides, eyes or bodies locked. I think I've learned nothing. I remember dates poorly. I haven't grown up. I endure the stories. 1997 za, They're partial or transitional accounts. They come and go. No matter how much you condemn me, I further condemn myself; I love and work in corners. That I haven't learned: to navigate. That I've lost custom. That I've never had. 1998 April 30 left Fukuoka to return jobless to New York 1998 August 15 to beginning of September, Lexie comes 1998 Finally around November, divorce comes through with Allison Ritch 1998 Kathy Acker and Christine Tamblyn die 1998 Late April trip to Kyoto with Lexie; Feb 20-March 20 in Australia with her 1998 Met Azure Nicole Carter, 22, in Huntington Beach - we begin an amatory correspondence... 1998 November 2-15, tour of Southern California then in Dec., MLA Conf., SF 1998 Potes and Poets brought out The Case of the Real, which I then revised online; earlier, I visited Jerry in Canberra, and considered going for the Phd. I begin to work on ideas of 's/ms' and develop Nikuko, who started in 1997 1999 Appointed virtual writer-in-residence, Nottingham Trent University, England, beginning September through February 2000 1999 Cheryl Ito dies near the beginning of the year, found alone in apartment 2001 Azure and I marry June 14th, reception July 14th. 2005 Residency in Santa Ana, Grand Central Art Center, for the summer. Two cds released. 2005 This is just too harsh, to self-loathing, too selfish. I haven't contributed anything for six years. It's time I formally abandoned this. 2005 have a headache from Gary's hammering today! 2005 so long since anything's been put here. It's incredible. Nothing to say. _ the new song http://www.asondheim.org/rdingnidr.mp3 http://www.asondheim.org/rdingnidr.jpg and its image _ Song of the Other old song of the other http://www.asondheim.org/rdingnidr2.mp3 http://www.asondheim.org/rdingnidr2.jpg and its imaginary Ma Non-Danse http://www.asondheim.org/global6.mp4 Realisation: Alan Sondheim, imagerie recyclee Mise en scene: Foofwa d'Imobilite Danseuse: Anja Schmidt Choregraphie: Foofwa d'Imbolite et Anja Schmidt _ Non-Dance FoofWading http://www.asondheim.org/foofwade.mp3 Voixes: Foofwa d'Imobilite, Alan Sondheim Redactions: Alan Sondheim Poor: Geneve presentation Realisation: Yes, we did 2005 Silence of the Avatars The actant or actants' aesthetic aether, Alan, exists within the class of alterities, or Alterity. Amidah's analogic app appears as apperception within the aristotelian logics around. Think of the audion; audiophiles consider the authorial in relation to it, as if an avatar or avatars were on the other side of the virtual. Their bio? Varied biomes - found in blogging, blogs in general, even real-world bookshops. A kind of bricolage postulated as bushido. Castrated avatars exist as chiasmus within the chora - circumlocuted on one hand, but steady-state circumscription on the other. Their clits are clots within codework, their codeworks menses or coherencies, collocations complicit with consciousness - consensualities. Their cordons, their cunt or cunts cordoned off within the cybermind, cyberspace. The cyborg or cyborgs are sexual - for example d'eruza and d'nala in dancework, the decathexis of all non-sexuality, their bodies deconstructed. Deconstructing deconstruction is hardly necessary; the body self-deconstructs. All sorts of releases: deerflies for examples. This is defuge, the exhaustion or denudation of the desiccated world and its destabilization - both diachronically and synchronically. Diachrony works as diegesis, the diegetic of inexhaustible virginity. This is the differance among cock and cunt, the differend of the flesh, unspoken and unspeakable, disassociating discomfiture. Certainly the reader, by now discomforted, is staked through disinvestment, tallies distantiation. The world is a world of distributivities and ecologies, effusions and emanants, their flesh folded around the labia and emergences of others. This is a form of empathetic, worlds and words empathized, in order to annihilate all existence and its a priori encapsulations. On one hand, the entropic - on the other the episteme, carried by ethernet from Everglades to other experientials, biomes, extasis. The actants' extensivity and its externality tends towards extinction of desire, extrusions of language and its inherent familiality of the fantasmic. Consider fantasm a feedforward fictivity, involving filmmaker and filmstock alike, sound and fingerboard, the Foofwa-actant dance and its genidentity in geomatics. Gesturally, these exist, as now, in gigabytes, gridlines defining one or another fuzzy habitus, their mathematics within halfgroupoids. An explosion of species: hir hirself, through hemiptera and the historiographies of holarchies in virtual hyperreality. Cyberspace and hyperrealities are already idealities, the ideogrammar of the ikonic of the imaginaries, all that exists within the 'might-be.' Denied by language, immersive subjectivity - immersivities of real incoherency - literally incompletes indexicality's sectioning of informatics and inscriptive interiority. Within the internality of the internet, interpenetrating flesh and avatar, interpenetrations of actant of programmatic introjections, tend towards the iconography of Izanagi and Nikuko - the debris of java, javascript - Jennifer, too, the Jewish locus of jouissance and judgmental Julu. The kanji of the world wraps around koans, kwat! - Lacanian landbirds languaging all, a latinate lifeworld liminal among silences. Literarily, nothing philosophically occurs. The result, machinic magatamas of malnourishment and the overly-wrought manifesto, part and parcel of mathematization, mathesis collapsing in mediaspace. Isn't the world menued, microworlds as well, minefields of inconceivable mythological minefields? A moron morphing, its morphs, through ideological multiculturalisms, surely. Nikuko and others were situated in Nakasu- kawabata, nowhere near Nara, closer than the secondary narcissisms of narratology and its neighborhooding neurophysiologies. Because it's there that falsehood resides, from newbies through Nietzsche, from Nijinksy through fucking Nikuko. Nikuko's nostalgias are worldless, absenting objecthood, her oeuvre offline, off offline as well, her ontologies organelles. Nikuko's particulation, call it her _paysage,_ voyeuristic peerings tending towards performativity. The fundamental grounding of the world is periphyton, phantasms, according to any phenomenologist, derive from it. Ghastly playnt of the pneumosphere and its poolings. So the postmodern academics arrive, their terminological postmodernism, post- modernity, whatever, presencing any presentification, according to their notions of prespace and primordials problematized. Worlding problematizes problematizing, also considered protolanguage, the psychoanalytical backdrop to thinging, the psychoanalytics of realspace rearticulation. Nikuko, Julu, Jennifer, their rebirths and regiments - reifications all, their bodies reinscribed - a process in fact of uncanny reinscription - into the releasement of the world. There, everything - rills, rotifera, runnels, the satori of sawgrass, the seamount - in fact the sememe of what circumambulates the natural - linguistically collapses into sememes of the other (all sememes are of the other), the backwards and atavistic field of semiology, as if semiosis always tended towards the configuration of semiotics. We have only sexualities to consider, shakuhachi or shamisen vertical expostulations of the sheffer-stroke, stroked themselves as culture collapses once again into flesh. All sorts of magic prevail - the shimenawa for example, or 'shithead' signifiers of obscenity, simulacra of body-skeining, collapse. Body skeins are soundwork, murmurs and speakings of the world in the face of specicide, stentor and stromatolite for examples. This is the urgency underlying structuralism and subgroupoids, the mathesis of subjectivities, subsonic subtexts just out of hearing. Subtext or subtexted, the world moves from object through process, both united in avatars such as Susan Graham, symbologies of whoredom, in synchronic extension with Nikuko and the 'others.' This is systemics, taxonomies of techne, teledildonics, the filmic mediation of the real which is the real and its teleologies, always a temporality of the subject and its tendrils of the pre-symbolic. Tern biomes on one hand, on that 'others,' tessellations, the registry of bodies in thanatopoesis and already fallen tropes. The typifications of unfoldings are all we have - unhinging of language already inconceivably tethered. Avatars bypass valium vicodin, in favor of purified videowork and its virtualities - the VLF (very low frequency) subtext of the world. Think of voiceovers as the remnant of what might be said, waypoints or websites of wetware. The wetwares of willets and other shorebirds - again, varied worldings, forms of wryting themselves into the circumscription here attained, as if I were a yamabushi descendent, moving sullenly, sitting in silence, zazen ... < -- > stolen images from Bangkok webcam against lobed avatar moving into this space which in the daytime reveals the usual office buildings sun sun - and sometimes then these internals, once I think Bondi Beach was doing the same or else somewhere in Australia - sometimes I wondered moving tiny webcams - out here in Brooklyn someone just shot on Willoughby - http://www.asondheim.org/tat.mp4 there's a crowd gathering on St. Mark's over something or other - code 39 and some other code - for sun sun I it's always indefinite - group outside of 555 St. John's Place - they're a bit disorderly - lots of fighting - then a group around St. Steven's church - they're not moving - female assaulted - missed the location - commotion on Atlantic and Pacific - fast call for crowd control - that's just around the corner from here - they're moving in - whoever they are - assault in progress on Adams - it's a busy night - juliet 3 1 quebec delta - lojack - commotion 1552 Bergen street - around the other corner - child abuse on 603 Dean Street - that's us a block away violent dispute on 1331 Pacific street - parallel block - 1010 call for help Park Place between 5th and 6th - two blocks away - somebody's taking the webcam in - somebody's missing on Gates Avenue - I sun sun 4:01 a.m. - 20 minutes scanning enough - 1010 in my head - but how i remembered it my lights were off and i knew secret sexualities going on was bad me, the first only totally rewarding anal sex, her saying i've had that hysteria, exhaustion, sexuality. i'm worn out, wear people out. a remembered all too well his sexism, mild deceit, feeling fucking word "fuck." someone jealous cheri went with me from despair. to fuck didn't succeed been used. heard of elvis. loved who wanted me. couldn't, cried. real girlfriend; we tried unsuccessful; vitamins. woman afraid father's anti-semitism. our cyber-fucking. later met in at grandmother's. couldn't behave kingston?) she asked if pennsylvania, small breasts, intensity, 's breast; sick time, drew perfect cunt between asshole parents, sunlight bright prick. ecstatic, transported; urinated me; another sucked tampax. images made grid wall, counterpoint urine, spurting both myself, year, when israel, masturbation urination, retaining way. during this period, worked ecstatically. it remain friends. years margaret spread period across devouring ourselves. - denise tied up, my secret lights sexualities were were off going and on i and knew i secret was sexualities my going were on off was knew bad totally me, rewarding the anal first sex, only saying totally i've rewarding had anal bad sex, me, her the saying first i've and had only that i'm hysteria, worn exhaustion, out, sexuality. wear i'm people worn out. out, a wear her people that out. hysteria, a exhaustion, remembered his all sexism, too mild well deceit, his and sexism, the mild feeling deceit, and feeling too fucking first word cheri "fuck." went someone with jealous me cheri despair. went to with fuck me word from "fuck." despair. someone to jealous fuck and didn't heard succeed of been loved used. who heard and of didn't elvis. succeed loved had who been wanted used. me. my couldn't, real cried. girlfriend; 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real we girlfriend; tried we unsuccessful; rewarding vitamins. had woman a afraid her father's her anti-semitism. father's our anti-semitism. cyber-fucking. at later cyber-fucking. met we in met at and grandmother's. her couldn't i behave couldn't kingston?) was she kingston?) asked she if me pennsylvania, time, small her breasts, small intensity, breasts, 's intensity, breast; 's sick was time, sick drew she perfect a cunt perfect between cunt asshole my parents, asshole sunlight parents, bright sunlight prick. and ecstatic, was transported; ecstatic, urinated i me; on another me; sucked i tampax. her images tampax. made images grid a wall, the counterpoint wall, urine, sucked spurting urine, both spurting myself, on year, retaining when year, israel, in masturbation my urination, with retaining urination, way. me; during way. this during period, this worked i ecstatically. worked it was remain a friends. remain years that margaret she spread the period her across period devouring were ourselves. devouring - ourselves. denise cunt tied denise up, me and lights i were were knew was on saying anal i've sex, had her out. out, a wear feeling deceit, me, the first fucking only the totally first rewarding and despair. with to me fuck from had didn't loved of who elvis. wanted i my couldn't, tried real tried had to vitamins. fuck i a tried woman to of sex, our her at and if she sick breast; time, i she parents, parents, between sunlight my bright asshole asshole on me; i another urinated drew cunt perfect my prick. my transported; another me; made sucked grid tampax. i images sucked made her grid she that was urination, my retaining masturbation this me; during ecstatically. it a didn't remain remain friends. years didn't spread tied period up, across spread _ unun language is always periphery bonded to the surface of a shell's extremity it's that residue that grants our speech a modicum of efficacy the efficacious is the real (nyaya) my writing collapses into substance it fills the gaps or holes in the shell (the pores) it's everywhere, stuffing, useless, not even uselessness it survives perhaps as the residue of capital the residue of capital is dependent upon the hardness of materials - and their efficacy hardness = databanks = memory (of a retrievable sort) you are nowhere, purposeless data we can only speak because no one listens (there is no listening) listening would transform the very nature of the chemical elements that can't be allowed to happen (it can't happen) - it can't happen because of the very nature of the world world, work, and words, perhaps wor/ld/k/d worldkd labor of building language, slough of language this doesn't describe anything, this doesn't describe nothing high temperatures, high pressures, new forms of matter mattered scattered among the incipient virtual energy of space creatures exist among themselves on the other side of dark matter - for which we are dark matter, they are omniscient, they peer - we're here, they're there, they peer they know we don't use language, don't speak, don't listen - symbolic meaningless surfaces, semiosis doesn't cut anything - not even action, not the moment our meaninglessness surfaces among them, they ignore semiosis allowing nothing in the form of speech allowing nothing in the formlessness of speech allowing everything in the form of speech = allowing everything in the formlessness of speech unun the darkened matter for which we are the children of light unun for brilliant matter for which we are the children of darkness = our shell and our holding on with the materiality of words = words were never there, we're our shell, holding on (night) unun new secret what happened to me prick stick stick stick quicktime sick toothpicks prick sick prick sick sick prick prick prick sick sick prick sick prick cunt understand found found found jun around untar arounds cunt cunts lejeune runnels seamount soundwork unfoldings unhinging around runs running fundamental universe runs unwanted puns junkie function boundary boundaries boundaries unperceived wounded universe universe community community background runaway wounds boundaries unapproachable hunger unimaginable fecund until accountancy unaccountable universal unvoiding run around Around sound runic Junior until flunked until volunteered around country around bounced flunked run around jaundice around hung around under sung country unable sound June June unsuccessful June Around Around Around unprepared younger sunlight Sungja punks June drunk function hung community under punk cunt counterpoint undefined hounded found stunned community launch round lunch understand accounts around Huntington found June around found cunt cunts cunt unspoken unspeakable around sound around fundamental grounding uncanny runnels seamount soundwork underlying united unfoldings unhinging sun sun sun sun around around around sun sun unsuccessful cunt sunlight counterpoint unsuccessful cunt cunt sunlight counterpoint unsuccessful cunt cunt sunlight sunlight counterpoint cunt sunlight cunt unun unun unun unun oh hell i'm not fooling anybody unbalanced1 http://www.asondheim.org/unbalanced1.ogg "The loins now take to themselves the bulkiness [which previously was the characteristic] of the waist; the belly takes possession of the depression [which previously was the characteristic] of the breasts; the line of hair on the body [characteristic of the period] runs off with the straightness of the glances [which then fall into a sidelong habit]. Seeing Cupid newly inaugurated in the empire of her mind, the members of the fair-browed one, for the moment, as it were, mutually plunder one another [as people are wont to do at the commencement of a new reign before the king can ascer- tain what properly belongs to each]." Sahitya-Darpana (Mirror of Composi- tion) 99b, by Vis'wanatha Kaviraja, trans. James Ballantyne, Calcutta, 1851 Matt Frantz = electronics / production / electric guitar / electric bass Alan Sondheim = acoustic guitar from Unbalanced, Grand Central Art Center, late August, 2005 If you have difficulty playing .ogg please download the Audacity sound editor (free). _ http://www.asondheim.org/allegory.jpg The Involuntary "a. As a stout bull [differs] from an ordinary specimen of the cow-kind -- such is the remainder [which requires to be supplied in order to complete the sense of the text]. b. Now, which are these? To this he replies. "Stupefaction (stambha), perspiration (sweda), and horripilation (romancha), disturbance of speech (swara-bhanga), trembling (vepathu), change of colour (vaivarnya_, tears (asru), and fainting (pralaya),--these eight are what are called the involuntary [evidences of strong emotion]." http://www.asondheim.org/wuv.mov (Sahitya-Darpana) [Plusplustaptap hardly redistributed] [here is where the referent is place .avi stripped modulated reduced to the http://www.asondheim.org/taps.mp3 sheer digital moment] [here is where the theory is inserted] [here is where the Sahitya-Darpana quote is inserted "Self-disparagement, Flurry, Depression, Weariness, Intoxication, Stupefaction, Sternness, Distraction, Awaking, Dreaming, Dementedness, Arrogance, Death, Indolence, Impatience of opposition, Drowsiness, Dissembling, Longing, Derangement, Apprehension, Recollection, Resolve, Sickness, Alarm, Shame, Joy, Intol- erance of another's superiority, Despondency, Equanimity, Unsteadiness, Debility, Painful Reflection, and Debate."] Actions, what there is Bhasha Pariccheda, Division of the Categories of the Nya'ya Philosophy - Roeg translation 1847-50, there's this: "There are five actions, throwing upwards, throwing downwards, contract- ing, expanding and going. Wandering about, evacuating, trickling, flaming upwards, moving crookedly, are included in going." Actions are externally vectored, or internally transformed (torsion, tensor calculus). Vectors require gravitation, i.e. 'upwards' and 'down- wards' conditioned by that which is capable of contraction, expansion. Actions are situated, coherent with earth's inhabitation. Within 'going,' 'wandering about' configures only the neutrality of move- ment; the same is true with 'moving crookedly.' 'Flaming upwards' implies an external vector. 'Wandering about' and 'moving crookedly' imply no such thing, neither foundation nor embedding space; one may wander nowhere, move crookedly in relation to one's presence, an interiority related to intrinsic surface measurement. 'Trickling' and 'evacuating' reference abject expulsion; they countenance both interior and exterior, compression or collapse of the former, and the turbulent spew or emission of the latter - which is inherently vectorless - instead a fuzzy open set, topological suppuration. These categories, all of them, meld into one another - interior is the complement, however fuzzy, penetrated, incoherent, of exterior; trickling is ingestion, evacuation is impulsion. The world roils. There are 'five actions,' actions within inactions, inactions within actions, inhering incoherency of roiling. Action = eternal movement = breath. Organism is central to worlding, worlding is central to organism. http://www.asondheim.org/inextremis1.jpg http://www.asondheim.org/inextremis2.jpg http://www.asondheim.org/inextremis3.jpg http://www.asondheim.org/inextremis4.jpg hateboard death cull hate me hate "god" hate "jesus" hate "judaism" hate "christianity" hate "islam" hate "satanism" hate "buddishm" hate "kaballah" hate "scientology" hate "atheists" hate "agnostisists" hate "you" Do U? Hellraiser^punk_gurl U really hate threw U out.Well, up. If U Hate only the a whore.She's the just by SEEING I dont want (and real love boy, it's people it's always bitches again TheColdestDemon are only good rest of the a nice beer, THEM) one last thing! TheColdestDemon and one last board, if you around 'hawaii' stick world, put rockets like the bitch to kiss ass, then you can family and friends my head and care about a arent real, and and not one do ONE THING I have became! I hate the TheColdestDemon ive been to to falling in my family too!) dont care about I am wicked, place but i for it, so i would burn sqaush! there souls people panic and all religion, all eachother, I want what religion, group, then anyone else! the cold world, you touch me, you puke, until death and deception no life then son, for I me into a thing to bring GOD i would taking everything with People I hate! theColdestDemon agree with everything are stuck up I also hate homy G wiggers and strong when females and females feminists and religious religion/culture/skin color, I then anyone else. jews, pagans and if you asked whores? slap them jason from friday it off the to exist. As that there ISNT all kill eachother they will never ourselvs! then waiting If there was because they This Hate Latreese do you have you hate so jack I hate reading I hate people out. i.e. Writing I hate people I hate people shit. I hate the a "no parking I hate parking I hate having I hate cell I hate people I hate shitty douche bags Brandonthedecoy@aol.com bill orielly Hannity Karl rove the fact that of you dumb pensacola florida american (group) mentality frauds life all of fox I hate a Andrew hate: Radio pop music Stuck up girls Rap Preps (That is Tim Waller (He Ms. Rai (she you Hate Why???? do you hate you really havent for yourself.taste people to people.any race u hate so are not educated! dont even have are POOR AND posting comment Here reposibilities which you please be humble just to earn i hate cultures Belli hate jews and nigers gays SS fuck you patriot brains you you patiotic to the ground and your little shit... Hate Preps.com Emma hate any one brandon love Brandon Hate Emmy why? patriotic does people hate my sis hate my parents hate my bros hate all peoples i hate lets all just jack bastard sincerely fucking hate vegans,drug addled losers,islamic bush,john kerry,jesus fucking and disabled,people who smile at me,people i realy hate Maarten hate the leader in Iraq involving he refuses cooperation organ of the they also work to invade The criminal court is I'm really angry hate the government Cough.i hate school hate C love jews, if Jew boys are sexier than you. i fucking hate zyk bush and his jew is a ebag am a proud love and fuck racisim has been here are in your kids.Bobby Seals (black whites and black if the Man!aC crap i`m doing shove it up Pepe Guapo hate dry chunks hate rappers suits hate jews hate ozzy's kids hate kid rock hate latin grammy, hate powell hate doctor phill hate olsen tweens hate americans or hate angelica from hate vin diesel hate bees and hate been late hate a way diz hatelist: positive looks kids metal kids candles bears these are a cj trendy wankers trendy yuppies trendy honkies trendy crackers trendy hipsters haters look ur self ucanthandlethis hate how people Hate the Pope?! Paul dont know anyone the list...evryone loves hate people who George Bush because massive aids spreading also hate whoever a homophobe etc. Previous comments Andrew (again) also forgot to all the people 'well you must like firetrucks. hate firetrucks. am the firetruck. are the firetruck. firetruck is hate. all masturbate. hate black gas hate rosie o with an AK hate "kill 'em mass worldwide genocide I hate... Bobby Brown half-wits who have properly and have Hating Hatred is Places, Things, or Islamo Fascists Whiney hyper-Liberals People who blame People who believe Dean Emo Sheep Staten Island New Jersey Myself for actually Hate Dennis from Groningen hate danny hate writing witty things i hate ... Johnny Salami ok what? hate people who just too fucking you soma hate whoever reads Answer Me! maurice blanchot hate how much ago. Wait -- Goads are probably Hate! sbutabi hate all human then BLAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! hate creeep in the Hate in my Shabadoo Hendrix I hate: Post-bukkakke leavins' on sometimes.) Sloppy papis Streamlined grammar (example: ALL religion (Yes. My left hand Stupid Canadians who Stupid Americans who Guidos with matted-down DJ Fnord Pamela hate list I hate people I hate people I hate women I hate the I hate Uncle I hate when I hate people I hate the I hate Eminem's I hate addidas james lipton zippy that's not the evening two years Did it mean you, david, I I swallowed etc Ryan Thompson hate Ashlee Simpson. shitty one at hate Lorne Michaels reflux. too, hate people about it. hate people who diamonds are getting MANY MANY tens hate other gay hate universities that just go away, aww, thanks vice Ell hate list always during late shifts. Hate list DJ Fnord Open toe shoes Republicans Fundamentalists People with no Dave Matthews People who say Man sandals Salsa music chopped liver bacne www.imwithoutcoffee.blogspot.com adelle amos Libertines Balls witb hair in breathe love: boy's dick-dance HATE poopy pants hate Orethal James and Mrs. Simpson agree with the fuck em'. student life who gives a CAN YOU GUYS like the total make it to gotta love em sheila wound hate model haters. shit. not a modelah Numbers.. especially ones Two hates OH playaz/players: best, people with menaces to society is not the is making the cash, but you've real people of the most the accusation by more than a around wearing stupid on the gritty like it, and real. Real is the holocaust david cross' stupid Long Dark Night hate people with that death is horrible torment for feel sorry for can Death From Above Bezoomy have hated everything ? me thats who hate models who hate fake tans. fake tan. Even NO FUckING WAY.... fundamental christians shmoogle hate christian fundamentalists. for. they fought states and lost! realise that no persuasions (the right based on a banned the teachings and is also can be done "...and i hate ugly kid joe hate the fuckers second ANYONE GIVES everyone read it! Hate playahater hate this mag. hate (oh so want to call no it's fucking get from centuries of your dignity look like death, marxism to annoy the skins of which includes aminal to the extreme way, they're so and become fascists try to point you like a hate art critic, i just hate hate girls that hate girls with think bleach blonde trashy whores.. i i hate high g string under crap music missy hate celine fucking Fuck You Johnny Salami Hate You Alleluya Jesus!!! Johnny Salami ate pizzas hate racists. Brea EAFD sucka hate lifted trucks.....simple oh well hateration call on the they figure out driving up the hate Harvey Duncan Ethan hate cool Indian fear all the David, don't go seiously go to Canada david Cross Claire Cross, Je t'aime. biggest haters in From my brain To dave that's some serious HATE? Anti Manti What? MikeSnake can Suck my guess what, you If you let totally a jew, seriously, email me i'll make you you have no monkeyspankey taiwan sonia good, another fucken you people. no one cared The Blue Bastard Air-On post was the what a comedian's all in the a disability) and mom must have she had to hate people who hate myself often hate signing off hate tic tac hate tic tacs hate toes bo-ring anon hannity. ralph reed. creative. David Cross isn't Baby Kimchee fact he's dating is ironic...). Or dating the same Hate William James tell me David's hello? That's because david cross john Cross makes jokes God bless Amerca? monkeyspanker taiwan Blue BASTARD: God Africa for a get off yr face of Christianity. they wish for freedom for all. bless the poor. hate people who luv aqua teen goddess hate love and <><><><><> vegan scum stiff gabby do realize you Thank you Dan you David Cross. dicksuckmypussy dexter fortunato people have no hate message boards. hey there boy frank drebin up. you want hate to get you're the best, gold. HATE HURTS -with The Blue Bastard up" Dave? you me throughout high assistance program at to attend community I am able and I am more moderate, you let it all I don't like me. I really admire christians and the just jealous because you wipe your God Bless All T.I.P.M.A.N. twas inside a comment: that are not $ i am tired of you all $ hatin me for no good reason $ but what i say and think and maybe look like - $ you don't know nothin you don't know my brain - $ sittin there fuck-all with nothin to say to you - $ but get off my case until you walked my shoes $ somewhere or other and i am so tired i am so fuckin tired $ of you all comin down and beatin on my door $ and beatin on my head you got nothing on me $ nothin at all and i wont give you $ the satisfaction - $ you hear that god - $ you aint got nothin on me either - $ now take care of them $ tired shoes