he first lawsuit we barely felt. It was like a gnatbite. Didn't break the skin.

Then the Microsoft suit came as kind of a slap in the face, but then at that point we still had careers to be ruined.

When we got subpoenaed by Melville we were taken aback. The man was dead and his work was public domain, but these were mere technicalities in the face of an accomplished litigator. Well, we told them to fuck off since our website had already been taken down, our property was gone, we had each been ditched, divorced, or spurned, and we were sure they wouldn't be able to find us where we were hiding in our cave near Kandahar.

Of course we hadn't counted on Allah declaring a class action lawsuit against the surviving members of the literary rock band formerly known as Unknown, so replete with bristling testimonials, exhibit As, filibusters, heart attacks on the witness stand, claims, fees, and funds that we just decided to chuck it. We skipped our court date and descended to hell.

Of course once we had passed beyond the river of the damned into the underworld, we were extremely vulnerable to all kinds of lawsuits from people who were dead, mythical beasts, and even Dante himself for our infringing upon his trademarked afterlife.

They've ruined our lives and fucked our bones, but can't take away our unknown.